by Mary Stewart
And I drew a breath of hope. The shape that showed so insubstantial through the fog was one I had seen before.
Surely Roderick and I had passed quite near a fallen birch on that first evening's walk? It had lain on our left, not many yards away, between us and the river. I had only to remember which way it had lain in relation to our path, and I could make without delay for the safe ground.
I trod towards it warily, trying to see it again in my mind's eye as I had noticed it the first night. It was quite possibly not the same tree, but in the mind-annihilating swirl of mist even this frail compass was as sure as the pillar of fire in the wilderness. I stood by it, anchored by its deceptive solidity, and tried to remember, steadying myself quite deliberately with hope.
It had been lying, roughly, north and south. Of that I felt sure. And surely I must still be to the river side of it? In which case the safe ground was beyond it, about thirty yards beyond. If I could once reach that, I would, sooner or later, find a sheep track that would lead me down the glen, to within sound of the sea. Or I might find some trickle of running water that would lead me safely to the river and the hotel.
A black shape shot out of the mist at my back, and skimmed, whirring, into invisibility. A grouse. I swore at it under my breath, and quieted my hammering pulses once again. Then I stepped carefully over the birch tree and took what I thought were my bearings, straining my eyes once more against the mist.
It was only then that I became fully conscious of something that had been tugging at the skirts of my senses for a little time. The ground was shaking. I was standing perfectly still, but the ground was shaking.
So complete had been my absorption in my new fear that I had actually forgotten that, somewhere, out in the blind world, there was a murderer looking for me with a knife.. . . And here he was, moving steadily across the quaking bog.
I dropped to my face behind the skeleton of the birch. The rushes were thick and tall. Beneath me the ground shivered and breathed. I lay frozen, this time not even frightened, simply frozen, icy, numb. I doubt if even the knife, ripping down through the mist, would have had the power to move me.
"Gianetta. ..." It was a tiny whisper, no more than a harsh breath. It could have been the breathing of the bog, the exhaling of the marsh gas in its million tiny bubbles.
"Gianetta. ..." it was nearer now. "Gianetta. ..." The mist was rustling with my name- It floated in little dry whispers like falling leaves, swirling lightly down to rest on the shivering ground
He was moving slowly; under my body I could feel the measured vibrations of his tread. His hands would be out in front of him, groping for me; his whispering probed the silence, reaching out, to trap me.
I recognized it, of course. Oh yes, I knew him now, beyond all doubt. I knew now that my unhappy guessing had been right enough; knew now why the Inspector had pitied me; and why Alastair, two nights ago, had given me that look of unexpressed compassion.
"Gianetta. . . ." There it was again, that name—the name that no one else ever called me . . . the name I had heard shouted through the darkness beside Ronald Beagle's funeral pyre.. . . His voice floated down through the mist, a little fainter now, as if he had turned his head away. "Gianetta, where are you? In God's name, where are you?"
Roderick had guessed, too, of course. I wondered, pressing my body closer to the wet ground, why he had been so sure that I, alone of all the people at Camasunary, would be unharmed.
"Are you there, Gianetta? Don't be afraid. . . ."
I don't think I was afraid, now that I knew for certain it was Nicholas. It wasn't that I believed, with Roderick, that, because of the past, Nicholas would never hurt me. It was just that, as that terrible whispering brought my suspicions to life and made them into truth, I didn't care any more. Not about anything.
"Gianetta . . . Gianetta . . . Gianetta. . . ." The syllables pattered down through the mist in fantastic muttered counterpoint. I put my cold cheek down on the soggy grasses, and cried silently, while the fog wavered and whispered with my name, and its ghostly grey fingers pressed me into the marsh.
And then he was gone. The groping voice had faded, echoed and faded again. The quaking of the bog had ceased. A bird had slipped silently and unalarmed across the grass. He was gone.
I got up stiffly, and, myself moving like a weary ghost, trudged uncaring, heedless, mindless, across the bog, away from the last mocking echo of his voice.
And almost at once I was cm firm ground, among stones and long heather. I quickened my pace instinctively. The ground was rising steadily away from the bog, and presently I found the mist was wavering and dwindling round me. I plunged up the slope at an increasing rate as my range of vision extended. The fog thinned, shrank, and ebbed away behind me.
As suddenly as a swimmer diving up through the foam of a wave to meet the air, 1 burst out of the last swirl of mist into the vivid sunshine.
Chapter 22
THE RELIEF WAS SO COLOSSAL, the chance so unbelievable, that I could only stand, blinking, in the clear fight of the afternoon sun. My eyes blinded with mist, and still dazzled with crying, took several seconds to get used to the flood of light. Then I saw where I was. I had clambered a little way up the lower slope of Blaven, at a point where a great dyke of rocks bisected the scree, a wall laid uphill like an enormous buttress against the upper cliffs.
The foot of this buttress was lipped by the fog, which held the lower ground still invisible under its pale tide. The glen itself, the loch, the long Atlantic bay, all lay hidden, drowned under the mist which stretched like a still white lake from Blaven to Sgurr na Stri, from Garsven to Marsco. And out of it, on every hand, the mountains rose, blue and purple and golden-green in the sunlight, swimming above the vaporous sea like fabulous islands. Below, blind terror might grope still in the choking grey; here above, where I stood, was a new and golden world. I might have been alone in the dawn of time, watching the first mountains rear themselves out of the clouds of chaos. . . .
But I was not alone.
Hardly had my eyes adjusted themselves to the brilliant spaciousness of my new world above the clouds, when I became aware of someone about fifty yards away. He had not seen me, but was standing near the foot of the rock buttress, gazing past it, away from me, towards the open horizon of the southwest. It was Roderick Grant. I could sec the dark-gold gleam , if his hair in the sunlight.
He took two swift strides to meet me, and caught hold of my hands, or I would have fallen. He thrust me down onto a flat rock with my back against the warm stone of the buttress. I shut my eyes, and the sunlight beat against the lids in swirls of red and gold and violet. I could feel its heat washing over me in great reviving waves, and I relaxed in it, drawing my breath more smoothly. Then at length I opened my eyes and looked up at Roderick.
He was standing in front of me, watching me, and in those blue eyes I saw, again, that dreadful look of compassion. I knew what it meant, now, and I could not meet it. I looked away from him, and busied myself pulling off my sodden shoes and unfastening my coat, which slid off my shoulders to He in a wet huddle on the rock. My blouse was hardly damp, and the grateful heat poured through it onto my shoulders.
He spoke then: "You don't—know?"
I nodded.
He said slowly, an odd note in his voice: "I told you that you would not be hurt. I shouldn't have said it. It was—"
"It hardly matters," I said, wearily. "Though why you thought, after what Nicholas put me through when we got divorced, that he'd have any scruples about me now, I don't know." My left hand was flat on the hot rock. The line where my wedding ring had been showed clear and white on the third finger. I said, still with the weight of dreariness pressing on me: "It was wrong of me to try to protect him, suspecting what he was. I see that now. One shouldn't really put people before principles. Not when the people arc—outlaws."
My voice dwindled and stopped. He had turned away from me, and his eyes were on the distant peaks of the Cuillin, where they swam abov
e the vaporous lake.
"Why did you do it?"
I blinked stupidly. "Why did I do what?"
"Protect—him." There was a curious light tone to his voice that might have been relief.
I hesitated, then said flatly: "Because I'm his wife."
He turned his head sharply. "Divorced."
"Oh yes. But—but that made no difference to some things. I mean, one has loyalties—"
He said harshly: "Loyalties? Why call it loyalty when you mean love?"
I said nothing.
"Don't you?"
"I suppose so."
He was silent. Then he said abruptly: "What happened down there? How did you find out?"
"He was looking for me in the mist. He called me. I knew his voice."
"He called you! But surely—"
"I was with Dougal Macrae, fishing, when the mist came down. Dougal had gone to get his rod. I heard a struggle, and Dougal must have been knocked out, then he—Nicholas—started looking for me. Only, Dougal recovered and went after him. They both chased off into the mist, and I ran away, but I got lost. And then—and then—"
"Yes?"
"I heard him coming across the bog, calling for me. Not calling, really, only whispering. I suppose he'd given Dougal the slip, and had doubled back to look for me. And he daren't call loudly in case Dougal heard him."
"He must have known that you've guessed who—what —he is."
I shivered a little. "Yes."
He was peering down now at the thick pall that covered the valley. "So Drury is down there. In that?" "Yes."
"How far away?"
"I don't know. I suppose it was only a few minutes ago that—"
He swung round on me, so suddenly that I was startled.
"Come on," he said, abruptly, almost roughly. "We've got to get out of this. Get your shoes."
He had hold of my wrist,, and pulled me to my feet.
"Down into that?"' I said, doubtfully. "Shouldn't we wait till it dears a little? He's got—" *
"Down? Of course not. We're going up."
"What on earth d'you mean?"
He laughed, almost gaily. "/ will lift up mine eyes unto the hills. . , ," He seized my coat where it lay on the rock, and shook out its damp folds. Something tinkled sharply onto a boulder, and rolled aside with a glint. "Don't ask questions, Janet. Do as I say. What's that?"
"Oh!" I cried, stooping after it. "It's Heather's brooch!"
"Heather's brooch?" His tone was casual, so casual that I looked at him in some surprise.
"Yes. I found it yesterday under that dreadful ledge. I thought it was Roberta's, but Dougal said—"
Once again my voice dwindled and died in my throat. I stood up, the brooch in my hand, and looked up into his eyes.
I said: "The first night I was here, you told me about Heather's murder. You told me about the little pile of jewelry that was found on the ledge. A bracelet, you said, and a brooch, and—oh, other things. But the brooch wasn't on the ledge when she was found. And since she had only been given it that day, for her birthday, you couldn't have known about it, unless you saw her wearing it yourself. Unless you, yourself, put it onto that little pile on the ledge beside the bonfire."
High up, somewhere, a lark was singing. Round us, serene above the mist, the mountains swam. Roderick Grant smiled down at me, his blue eyes very bright.
"Yes," he said gently. "Of course. But what a pity you remembered, isn't it?"
Chapter 23
So WE FACED EACH OTHER, the murderer and I, marooned together on our island Ararat above the flood of cloud;
alone together, above the silent world, on the mountain where already he had sent three people to their deaths.
He was smiling still, and I saw in his face again the look of compassion that, now, I understood. He liked me, and he was going to kill me. He was sorry, but he was going to kill me.
But, just for a moment, even this knowledge was crowded out by the one glorious surge of elation that swept through me. The whole of that silent, cloud-top world was drenched with the light of the sun and the song of the lark—and the knowledge that I had been criminally, stupidly, cruelly wrong about Nicholas. I think that for two full minutes I stared into Roderick Grant's mad blue eyes and thought, not: "I am here alone with a maniac killer," but: "It was not Nicholas, it was not Nicholas. . . ."
Roderick said, regretfully. "I'm so sorry, Janet. I really am, you know. I knew when I heard you talking to Dougal by the river, that sooner or later you'd remember. I didn't really mean to, but of course I'll have to kill you now."
I found to my surprise that my voice was quite calm. I said: "It won't help you if you do, Roderick. The Inspector knows."
He frowned. "I don't believe you."
"He told me so. He said he was just waiting for information from London to confirm what he knew. And of course there's Roberta."
His face darkened. "Yes. Roberta."
The vivid eyes hooded themselves as he brooded over his failure with Roberta. I wondered if he had killed Dougal, or if Dougal, with Nicholas, were still hunting through the mist below us ... the lovely safe mist, not many yards below us.
"Don't try and run away," said Roderick. "I'd only have to bring you back. And don't scream, Janet, because then I'd have to throttle you, and"—he smiled gently at me—"I always cut their throats, if I can. It's the best way."
I backed against the cliff of the buttress. It was warm and solid, and there were tiny tufts of saxifrage in the clefts under my fingers. Real. Normal. I forced my stiff lips to smile back at Roderick. At all costs, I must try to keep him talking. Keep him in this mad, gentle mood. I must speak smoothly and calmly. If I should panic again, my fear might be the spark that would touch off the crazy train of his murderer's mind.
So I smiled. 'Why do you do it at all, Roderick? Why did you kill Heather Macrae?"
He looked at me in surprise, ''They wanted it."
"They?"
"The mountains." He made an oddly beautiful gesture. "All these years, these ages, they've waited, dreaming like this, above the clouds, watching over the green life of the valleys. Once, long ago, men paid them worship, lit fires for them, gave them the yearly sacrifice of life, but now"—his voice had an absent, brooding tone—"now they have to take for themselves what they can. A life a year, that's what they need . . . blood and fire, and the May-day sacrifices that men paid them when the world was young and simple, and men knew the gods that lived on the mountains."
He looked at me. It was uncanny and horrible, to look at someone's familiar face, to listen to someone's familiar voice, and to see a complete stranger looking out of his eyes.
"She helped me carry the wood and the peat. Together we collected the nine woods and the wild agaric and the oak to make the wildfire. She made the fire for me, and then I cut her throat and—"
I had to stop him. I said abruptly: "But why did you kill Marion Bradford?"
His face darkened with anger. "Those two women! You heard the little one—Roberta—that night. You heard her talking sacrilege, you heard how she chattered of conquering—conquering—these." Again the flowing gesture that embraced the dreaming peaks. "And the other one— Miss Bradford—she was the same." He laughed suddenly, and sounded all at once perfectly normal and charming. "It was quite easy. The elder one, that dreadful, stupid woman, she was a little in love with me, I think. She was pleased and flattered when I met them on the mountain and offered to show her the climb across the Sputan Dhu."
"I suppose you thought they were both dead when you left them."
"They should have been," he said. "Wasn't it bad luck?"
"Very," I said drily. My eyes went past him, scanning the fringes of the mist. No one. Nothing.
He was frowning at a sprig of heather that he had pulled. "That ledge where you found Roberta," he said. "I'd been along the damned thing three times already, but I never went farther than the corner when I saw the ledge was empty. I wanted to find her first, of
course."
"Of course." The lark had stopped singing. There was no sound in the blue-and-gold day but the grotesque exchange of our pleasant, polite voices, talking about murder.
"But you found her." The cock of his eyebrow was almost whimsical. "And you nearly—oh so nearly— gave me the chance I wanted, Janet."
I forgot about being calm and quiet. I cried out: "When you sent me to get the flask! You were going to kill her then!"
He nodded. "I was going to kill her then. A little pressure on the throat, and—" This time the gesture was horrible. "But you came back; Janet."
I licked my lips. "When she opened her eyes," I said hoarsely, "it was you she saw. You, standing behind me."
"Of course." He laughed. "You thought it was Drury, didn't you? Just as you thought it was Drury who killed Ronald Beagle—"
".Why did you do that?" ' tie hesitated, and into the blue eyes came a look of naive surprise. "D'you know, I don't quite know, Janet. I'd hated him for a long time, of course, because I knew that to his mind they were just so many peaks to be climbed, so many names to be recorded. And then he came among us that night, on the mountain, talking so glibly of Everest—Everest conquered, those untouchable snows defiled and trampled,' where I had thought no man could ever put his sacrilegious feet... You said that, Janet. You remember? You spoke like that about it once, and, because of that, I thought that I could never hurt you. .. . But Beagle—I followed him down the hill. I caught him from behind and killed him." His eyes met mine ingenuously. "I think," he said, "I must have been a little mad."
I said nothing. I Was watching the edge of the mist, where it frothed along the empty mountainside.
"And now," said Roderick, feeling in his coat pocket, "where's my knife?" He patted his coat carefully, as a man does when he is wondering where he has put his pipe. The sun gleamed on his dark-gold hair, "It doesn't seem to be—oh yes, I remember now. I was sharpening it. I put it down somewhere. He smiled at me, then he turned and scanned the heather anxiously. "Can you see it, Janet, my dear?"'