“Not when my brother’s sky-high on blow.”
“You noticed.”
“Yeah, I noticed.”
She didn’t say anything else about it, so I decided not to pry.
Maybe another time. She was already annoyed with me enough tonight.
“You didn’t tell him about me,” I said, treading gently. “You haven’t told him and Mia about the restraining order? The attempted break-in?”
She sighed. “I haven’t exactly gotten around to it.”
“They don’t know about any of it?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“I haven’t told anyone in my family. And I don’t know why.” She went silent a moment. “Okay, I know why. I don’t want them to freak out and worry about me.”
“Would it be so bad if your family was concerned about your safety?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“What did you think of the party?” she asked, changing the subject.
“It was… unique.”
She smirked.
“Justice and Mia seem like good people.”
“They are. The best people.”
“Who’s Trevor?” I asked, not-casually. “Or Toxic or whatever his name is.”
Summer eyed me. “One of the hottest DJs in the country. I told you that.”
“You know him well?”
“Are you asking me if he and I are an item?”
“If you are, I need to know it.” That came out a lot more growly than I meant it to.
This jealousy bullshit was really gonna have to go.
Small problem with that: I couldn’t really see myself ever being okay with her hooking up with Trevor the hot DJ… or anyone else.
“No, Ronan. He’s not my boyfriend.” She raised an eyebrow at me. “Or my boy toy. Or my anything. We’re friends. And colleagues, obviously.”
“Right.”
“Why do you ask?”
I chose my words carefully. “You seemed to be in each other’s space a lot while you were playing.”
Yeah. I sounded jealous as fuck.
When did I get so fucking transparent with women? Last I heard, I had the strong-silent-type thing pretty down.
Something about Summer made me lose my grip on that. She made me lose my grip on a lot of things.
“So we could hear each other over the music,” she said, studying me. “We were catching up. I haven’t seen him in a while.”
I decided to believe what she was telling me and stop fantasizing about tossing DJ Toxic with all the K’s and S’s off his Ewok tower.
“You had fun?” I asked her.
“I always have fun.”
“Uh-huh. Why don’t you want your family to know about what happened?” I just couldn’t stop pressing on that.
Summer sighed again. “Because I love them. And they love me. And I’m afraid they’ll be overly concerned, and it will interfere with their lives.” She studied me in the near-dark. “I’m safe, right? I have you.”
Well, that felt way too good. Those words, out of Summer’s mouth… I have you.
And the way she was looking at me…
Almost made my dead, putrified heart sneeze out a dusty beat.
“You need to tell them, Summer.”
“I know.”
I looked away.
There was a strange, awkward silence, while I felt her staring at me… and my heart tried to cough to life like a revived corpse.
I coughed.
“Are you cold?” she asked me.
“No.”
“I feel kinda bad. I’ve got all this faux fur.”
“I’m fine. I’m cold-blooded.”
“I would laugh, but I’m pretty sure you’re not joking.”
I said nothing.
“Should we put on music or something?”
“I don’t mind silence,” I told her. She knew that by now. But then I reached deep into my frozen, empty chest cavern and dug out the words. “I like it better when you’re talking to me, though.”
I could still feel her staring at me. It was like the left side off my body was thawing from a deep freeze.
I didn’t mind silence. Usually. Right now, it was kinda torture.
So I decided to fill it.
“I guess the fact that we haven’t seen a single other car out here, heading home from the party, would’ve been a clue that we were on the wrong road,” I offered. Maybe it was my way of weaseling around an actual apology. “You know, if I’d been paying attention.”
Instead of trying so hard not to pay attention to you.
“Well, since you seem unaware, I’m here to inform you,” she said. “No one leaves a party like that before dawn.”
I looked at her, and I could make out her eyes, locked on mine in the near-dark. “Except us.”
“Except us.”
“I’m sorry I got us stuck,” I said.
“I could’ve been a better navigator,” she admitted.
And as she stared at me, and I stared at her… I realized how close we really were. I realized how long we might really be here, alone.
And I realized I was in trouble.
My heart was suddenly thumping in my chest.
Actually, it was fucking pounding.
And I had a bad feeling all kinds of shit was about to fall out of my mouth without my permission.
“You’re annoyed with me,” I said.
She made a little tssht sound, like, No shit. “Ronan. The way you evacuated your hotel room this morning really pissed me off.”
“Right.” I probably should’ve said something more compassionate and useful, but my dick had stiffened when she said my name. It sent shivers down my back, like she’d just clawed me with her fingernails.
“But… it’s a lot more fun trading heated banter with you than freezing you out.” She was still looking at me, and she breathed, “Wow. You are handsome when you smile.”
I didn’t realize I was smiling. I would’ve figured those muscles in my face would’ve atrophied by now.
But I felt the smile fade as I studied her face. And I wasn’t gonna be responsible for what I said next. At least, my brain wasn’t. My heart was now working overtime, pumping blood to my dick, post-haste.
“You are extremely sexy.”
And there it was.
My dick made me say it.
“Is this you being honest with me again?”
“Yes.”
“Who are you, Ronan Sterling?” she asked, whisper-laughing a little.
“Ronan Sterling,” I said stupidly. All that blood rushing to my junk was making me stupider by the second.
“You are the most mysterious person I’ve ever met.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“Is that bad?”
“It’s not bad,” she said. “It’s annoyingly intriguing.”
“I annoy you?”
Obviously I annoyed her. She just told me so. But like a pubescent idiot with a boner, I wanted her to keep talking to me, even if I had to pull her hair to get her to do it.
“Who cares?” she said after a moment. “More importantly, you don’t bore me.”
“Do men usually bore you?” The thought of her with any other man seriously made me want to punch out the windshield, but if she was gonna tell me that no man but me could hold her interest, I’d fucking take it.
“Absolutely.”
My cock throbbed.
“And yet, you have so many of them around…”
Stupid.
Stop talking while all your brain cells are starved of blood.
“Are you saying I’m a player?” she asked me, cocking her head and looking at me sidelong. I couldn’t tell if she was offended or if she was being coy. My wires were all crossed with this woman.
Client. Damsel in distress. Ball breaker. Lover.
I wanted all of her all over all of me, and my dick wouldn’t let me forget it.
Because you’re an idiot and you should’ve walked away from this job on day one and asked her on a date instead.
“That’s the name of your band, right?” I swallowed, desperately striving for casual deflection. “The Players.”
“I like a lot of people around,” she said, unapologetically. “Variety, right? They say it’s the spice of life. And yes, people bore me. And yes, it’s a problem.”
I considered that. My dick was now throbbing like I’d slipped on the world’s tightest cock ring, and I knew it was gonna make me keep saying very stupid things.
I just couldn’t stop saying them.
“Maybe you bore yourself.”
Her jaw dropped, but then she smiled a little. “What the hell does that mean?”
“Well… often the things we dislike about other people are the same things we dislike about ourselves.”
“And there you go, being mysterious again. Now you’re wise, too? I’ll need to add that to the list.”
“What list?”
“You know, your list of fabulous qualities.”
Yeah, my heart was beating way too fast now. I liked it way too much that she liked me. I could barely hear from the blood rushing through my ears.
My whole body throbbed.
It was like my heart was punishing me for waking it from its lengthy hibernation.
“I didn’t know there was a list,” I said. My nipples were hardening. Goosebumps were breaking out as I warmed from the inside. I was starting to sweat.
“You knew there was a list. It’s in your dossier.” She tapped her head. “And don’t be false modest. That’s definitely boring. But you’re probably half-right. I’m afraid of boring myself, maybe.”
“You’re afraid of ending up with a boring man, and having to cut him loose?”
“Sweetheart, I cut men loose all the time.”
God, I loved it when she called me sweetheart.
I wanted to lick that beautiful pale neck of hers and tell her to do it again.
“So…” I cleared my throat. “You’re afraid of finding one you really like and boring him?”
“Oh my God.” She laughed, heartily. “I think that would be the ultimate in failure.”
I laughed too, a little.
“Look at that, I made you laugh,” she said. “Not boring you so far?”
“I don’t think it would be possible for you to bore me. Have you ever found a man who didn’t bore you?”
Christ. When did I become such a fucking idiot?
Was it the moment I met her?
Or was I always more stupid than I’d thought?
Questions for future contemplation. When I wasn’t stranded in a car in the woods with Summer Sorensen and a hard-on.
“Sure,” she said. “A few times.”
“Did Ashley Player bore you?”
Holy fuck. Why didn’t I just whip out my dick and ask her to jerk me off while she described her favorite memories of all her exes?
Was I a masochist now?
She gave me a long look. “What do you think?” She sighed. “Ashley Player is not a boring man. That’s pretty self-evident.”
“You loved him.”
“Yes, I loved him. Fuck, did I love him. I still love him. He’s one of my best friends.”
My newly-revived heart cracked open and a small death rattle coughed out.
I’d never felt so fucking jealous of another man in my life.
She’s not with him anymore.
She’s with you in a car. Stop being an idiot and kiss her.
“Have you ever loved anyone like that?” she asked me.
“No. Not like that.”
I didn’t say anything else on the subject, and she went silent. Normally I might’ve enjoyed the silence, but I needed to keep her talking. My dick insisted that I keep her attention on me.
I liked having her full attention. I liked not competing with everyone else around her.
But I wasn’t sure what to say.
I’d agreed to protect her, and I knew I was getting distracted—by her. Wanting her in my bed. In my fucking lap, right now.
Even with all the blood slamming to my cock and my balls throbbing, I knew the right thing to do, as soon as fucking possible, would be to assign her another bodyguard. Someone else to do what I was starting to wonder if I could even do at all, when I so badly wanted her.
But then I’d lose all this time with her.
So I knew I wasn’t gonna do that. Not yet. I couldn’t stand to lose this yet.
Selfish.
“Can I ask you something?” she said, eying me carefully.
“Yeah.”
“What did Andre mean, when he said that stuff about you never taking another bodyguard assignment? You were supposed to be retiring your bodyguard services the night you met me?”
Thanks, Andre.
“Yeah. I was,” I admitted. Because I was hardly gonna lie to her face about it.
“Then… what happened? Why did you take this job?” She studied me with a kind of hope in her eyes… like she was waiting for me to confess that there was something between us.
That I’d felt it from the moment I met her.
Or maybe I was just imaging that’s what she wanted me to say?
I cleared my throat and tried to think of some way to explain my actions. Actions that even I was having trouble understanding.
“Like Andre said… Brody is a valued client. And when I took his call that night, and walked into your home… I could tell you needed security. There was a need there and I knew I could fill it.”
That was true, but damn, it sounded cold.
I knew it was cold, because the hope, or whatever it was in her eyes, kinda flickered out.
Maybe I’d just confirmed for her what she’d feared…
That I really didn’t want anything to do with her outside our professional relationship.
Like the asshole I was.
“Well, I’m glad you did,” she said, slowly. But she didn’t look happy. “But… Fuck, I’m just gonna say it. This is really awkward.”
Yeah. It was awkward as fuck trying to get comfortable in this seat, with a volcano brewing in my jeans, and not squirm around like my pants were on fire.
“What is?”
“I’m a bit embarrassed,” she said softly, “about crawling into bed with you in Montreal. Asking you to sleep with me.”
“Oh.”
“I don’t usually get embarrassed so easily. But ever since then… I’m having a hard time looking you in the eye.”
“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” I told her.
“Oh, yes there is.”
“My job is to keep you safe. You were safe. No need to dwell on it any more than that.”
Because if we dwelled on it right now, I’d have to think about her fingers grazing my stomach as she’d laid her arm across me in that hotel bed.
Bad idea.
Except now I was thinking it. I could practically feel it. I was covered in cold sweat. Was I glistening?
Summer studied me for a long moment.
She was right. Having her sleep in my bed at the hotel was a definite problem. Not because it happened. Because I wanted it to happen again.
And it shouldn’t happen again.
Couldn’t happen again.
Might happen again…
“I know nothing happened,” she said quietly. “But I felt… I don’t know. All kinds of things between us. Maybe it was just me.”
It wasn’t just her.
“I know you’re just here to keep me safe,” she went on. “You told me from day one that you’d basically risk your life for me, as part of your duty to your job. So sleeping in a bed with me to make me feel safe is probably not a big deal to you.” She shook her head and rubbed her fingernails down her neck, and my dick flexed.
Maybe I needed to take a cold walk outside.
Or
fucking kiss her.
“I don’t know what’s with me lately. This stalker thing is so fucking unnerving.” She kinda groaned. “I mean, I had this weirdly misplaced crush on Elle’s bodyguard this year, and—”
“Flynn?” I interrupted her.
“Yeah. Flynn.” She smiled a little. “What?”
“I just can’t see you with Flynn.” Of course, I couldn’t see her with anyone.
Except me.
“I can’t either,” she said, with a short laugh. “And I keep asking myself, what is up with me? Am I really gonna let this Blair loser fuck up my life and make me jump at every little noise?”
Shit.
Now I remembered why I was such an asshole that I didn’t deserve to fuck her, even if she wasn’t my client. Because I hadn’t told her the truth.
She didn’t even know that Sanchuk was a hangaround with a criminal MC, and she sure as fuck didn’t know that we didn’t know where he was right now. That he’d suspiciously disappeared. I didn’t want to scare her, so I hadn’t told her any of that.
But it was bothering me.
I just didn’t know which way to go with the information. Just like every other thing where she was concerned, I was confused.
And I was afraid I was gradually losing control.
“I just…” She hesitated, her eyes holding mine in the dark. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. You’re doing an amazing job. And I don’t know if I’m just trying to cling onto anyone who makes me feel safe right now—”
I couldn’t stand it. I leaned in and kissed her.
My mouth crashed into hers, at the same time I grabbed her jacket and pulled her to me. She tensed with surprise, and I wasn’t even sure if she was gonna kiss me back or slap me.
She kissed me back.
And moaned.
I pressed into her as she softened, kissing her deeper, sliding my tongue into the sweet taste of her mouth. I just couldn’t fucking stand hearing her talk like that. Like any of this was somehow her fault, or she’d misread things, or she was crazy.
She wasn’t crazy.
I’d wanted her from the moment I laid eyes on her. I’d wanted her in that hotel bed last night, and when I woke up next to her this morning. And I wanted her right now.
I lapped my tongue into her mouth, and she shivered against me. I wanted to warm her up, to kiss her until she forgot everything she’d just said, because it was all bullshit. She wasn’t just clinging onto anyone.
She wanted me.
Sweet Temptation: A Players Rockstar Romance (Players, Book 3) Page 28