by Morgana Best
“Please come into the living room,” Aunt Agnes said. “We’re having witches’ brew with dinner, so would you like some now or maybe champagne?”
“Champagne,” Jezabeth said.
The aunts showed her inside. “It’s good that you’re early,” Aunt Agnes began, “because we wanted to have a little chat with you before the other dinner guests arrived.”
Jezabeth looked surprised. “Other guests?” she repeated.
“Yes, Breena, one of our current boarders, and Linda, an old friend of Valkyrie’s.”
Jezabeth wrinkled her nose in obvious disgust. Aunt Agnes pushed on. “We were concerned that the police have ruled your mother’s cause of death as natural. We are concerned that she was, in fact, murdered.”
Jezabeth’s hand flew to her throat. “Murdered?” she repeated. After a moment, she added, “What utter nonsense! She wasn’t murdered!” It was the first time I had heard her raise her voice. She looked furious.
“The other guests don’t know about us,” Aunt Agnes said, gesturing to each one of us and Jezabeth in turn. “I couldn’t discuss it in front of them, but vampires don’t die of natural causes.”
“What nonsense!” Jezabeth said again. “She had a heart condition.”
“Vampires can have heart conditions?” I asked.
Jezabeth shot me a look of pure malice. “My mother did.”
Aunt Agnes tried again. “We are all concerned as we suspect that your mother was poisoned. Wouldn’t you like to have a toxicology report on your mother just to prove she wasn’t murdered?”
“Absolutely not!” Jezabeth spat. “This is just making it also much harder. My poor mother.” She pulled a tissue out of her bag and dabbed at her eyes. She wasn’t at all a good actor, and I wondered if she had ever felt any emotion apart from anger. “I won’t have it!” she hissed. “Probate can’t begin if there’s a murder investigation.”
Aha. So that was the reason—even if she thought perhaps her mother had been murdered, she didn’t want her share of the inheritance to be delayed by a murder investigation. But was that the sole reason? What if she was, in fact, the murderer?
The doorbell rang. Aunt Agnes left the room and returned with Linda and Breena arm in arm. We had arranged for Linda to keep close to Breena. This time, Breena looked more like a human and less like a cat. Aunt Agnes had given her a long talk that afternoon about not meowing or hissing or sitting on someone’s lap or lapping her food from the table. I certainly hoped it would work. Still, Breena had seemed more like a human and less like a cat in the last day.
Aunt Agnes introduced them. Jezabeth simply nodded at Linda and Breena and did not look the slightest bit interested, much to my relief. After Aunt Dorothy and Aunt Maude left the room, the conversation was minimal, non-existent even. Thankfully, the aunts returned presently and announced dinner was ready.
“Would you like some more champagne?” Agnes asked Jezabeth.
“No. I’ll have wine.”
Agnes poured everyone except Linda and Breena some witches’ brew. “Linda, would you like your usual champagne?”
She poured Linda a glass of champagne and poured a glass of milk for Breena.
Jezabeth made a snorting sound. “Is she drinking milk?” She addressed the question to Agnes.
“She’s a health fanatic,” Agnes said.
Jezabeth seemed to accept the lie and at once seemed to lose interest in Breena. She nodded to Cary. “Does that dog get on well with the cats?”
“We don’t have any cats,” I said, wondering why she said that.
“I’m sorry about your mother’s death,” Linda said to Jezabeth.
“Did you know her?” Jezabeth asked.
“I’d met her a few times,” Linda said. “I used to be a boarder here. That’s how I became friends with Pepper.”
Jezabeth frowned. “Pepper? Who is Pepper?”
I pointed to myself. “I’m Pepper. The aunts insist on calling me Valkyrie, however.”
Jezabeth looked quite put out. “Then what’s your name?”
“Pepper,” Linda and I said in unison.
“Valkyrie,” said the aunts.
Jezabeth muttered something to herself. I didn’t hear the words, but I imagined they weren’t complimentary.
Thankfully, Jezabeth wasn’t one for conversation. She didn’t initiate any conversation throughout the first course. I also noted she didn’t eat much, although she did drink a lot of witches’ brew.
“Is there any food left over?” she suddenly asked at the end of the first course.
“Do you want more?” I said. “You haven’t eaten half of what’s on your plate.”
She looked quite affronted. “It’s not for me, it’s for Hemlock.”
“Hemlock?” Linda shrieked. “The deadly plant?”
I kicked Linda under the table. “Hemlock is Jezabeth’s daughter.”
“Oh.” Linda looked shocked. “What a pretty name,” she said lamely.
“But isn’t Hemlock in Adelaide?” Aunt Agnes said.
“No, she should be here any minute,” Jezabeth pronounced.
A collective gasp went up around the table. “Here any minute?” Aunt Agnes echoed. “Whatever do you mean?”
“When I told Hemlock about her being a beneficiary in the will, I suggested she move here and live in my mother’s house while we get it ready for sale. It will be a tremendous help to us all.”
The aunts were visibly shocked. “But we’re the executors,” Aunt Agnes pointed out in even tones. “That is, I’m an executor, Dorothy is an executor, and Maude is an executor. You’re not an executor, so you can’t make decisions about what happens to the house.”
“But it will be a wonderful benefit to us,” Jezabeth said in a monotone. “The house won’t be robbed with someone in it, and Hemlock can clean the place for us. It will be a wonderful benefit for all of us,” she said again.
I could see the aunts were furious and were doing their best not to show it. “But it’s not legal,” Aunt Agnes said. “We’re the executors and we haven’t given our approval. Why, you haven’t even asked us!”
Jezabeth waved one hand at them. “I knew you wouldn’t mind, so I didn’t bother to ask you. It will help everybody to have Hemlock living there.” The doorbell rang. “That must be Hemlock now. Well Agnes, are you going to answer the door?”
If looks could kill! Aunt Agnes’s expression was entirely murderous. She stormed out of the dining room. Linda and I exchanged glances. I could see Linda was doing her best not to laugh, but I was furious. The nerve of Jezabeth! I couldn’t believe anybody could have such a sense of entitlement.
Aunt Agnes returned with a young woman I could only assume was Hemlock. She was short and had clearly applied her make up with a trowel, and no doubt in a dark room at that. I had never seen such thick eyeliner on anyone, and there were large black smudges under her eyes. The pungent odor of illegal substances hung around her like a cloud. “Mother!” she exclaimed, hurrying over to give Jezabeth a hug.
Jezabeth did not return the hug, but stood there, her hands by her sides. “You can stay with me here in the cottage tonight, and in the morning, I’ll drive you into town and settle you into your house,” she said to Hemlock.
I looked at Aunt Agnes to see if she would explode. She was already letting Jezabeth stay here for free and now she had two boarders. Once more, Jezabeth hadn’t even asked.
“Sit down and have some dinner, Hemlock,” Jezabeth said. “You’re just in time for dessert, but you’d better eat some of your first course before that. How was your flight?”
“It was a good thing the taxi knew where to find this place out the middle of nowhere,” Hemlock said, her speech slurred. “What do youse do for fun around here?”
Jezabeth did not respond but introduced us. “You know the aunts, of course, and this is their niece, who calls herself Valkyrie or Pepper—strange, I know—and this is her friend, Linda, and this is a guest.” She addressed Bree
na. “I forgot your name.”
Breena simply looked at her. I said, “Breena.”
“Hi!” Hemlock said. “When can I see my new house?”
“It isn’t your house, Hemlock,” Aunt Agnes said firmly. “It’s going up for sale, so you will need to keep it absolutely spotless. Also, you’ll need to be absent when the real estate agent shows the house. Those are the only conditions under which we will allow you in the house. Do you understand?”
“Yeah, whatever. I’ll do whatever youse like.” Hemlock reached for a goblet of witches’ brew and drank it in one gulp. She burped. “Do youse have any more?”
Chapter 7
“Karen Cosgrove!” Aunt Agnes exclaimed as soon as the guests had left.
“Who? What?” I said, confused.
“She’s Killian Cosgrove’s wife,” Aunt Agnes said. “As we know, Gorgona’s husband, Ethelbert, was blackmailing Mrs Mumbles and her lover, Killian Cosgrove. Maybe she was blackmailing Killian’s wife, Karen, too. Maybe Karen was even involved in Ethelbert’s murder, for all we know.”
“Why didn’t I think of that?” I said.
Aunt Maude walked over. “One of the detectives did mention it.”
“Then we have someone to add to our suspects list,” I said. “Now we have Jezabeth and Karen.”
“How are we going to investigate Karen?” asked Aunt Agnes. “I suppose we could go for another pedicure.”
“Count me out this time,” I said firmly. “Anyway, why did you allow Hemlock to live in Gorgona’s house?”
“We didn’t have a choice, really,” Aunt Agnes said. “Jezabeth is a thoroughly nasty person. If we hadn’t allowed her daughter free range on the house, then she might have burnt it down or something.”
“Surely not!” I was in a state of disbelief.
The aunts shrugged. “Anything is possible with Jezabeth,” Aunt Dorothy said. “She’s incredibly narcissistic and has a huge level of entitlement. Besides, nothing is ever her fault. It doesn’t matter what she does, she always blames somebody else.”
“But won’t Hemlock make a terrible mess of the house?” I asked them.
“It doesn’t really matter to us because we don’t get any proceeds of the house,” Maude said.
Aunt Agnes disagreed. “Well, there’s Belladonna. We have to make sure she gets her fair share. And although we can’t do anything about it, I’m quite concerned about the money that is going into the offshore account. No doubt it’s to fund The Other.”
It was beginning to dawn on me. “So that’s why you’re letting Hemlock move into the house. It could be a good thing—it will sell for less because it will be a terrible mess, and so there will be less money for The Other.”
Aunt Agnes nodded slowly. “I do admit that it crossed my mind, but I still have to do the right thing by Belladonna.”
“Where is Belladonna?” I asked.
Aunt Agnes shrugged. “As far as I know, nobody has seen her in years, decades even. She’s Gorgona’s great niece.”
“Then what happens if she never comes forward to claim her inheritance?”
“That’s a matter for the lawyers,” Aunt Agnes said. “I’m sure Bentley Harper will see to it. And even if he doesn’t, it’s his problem, not ours,” she said with a dismissive wave of her hand.
I went to bed that night, somewhat irritated. I couldn’t believe the nerve of Jezabeth, and her daughter, Hemlock, was just as bad.
When I awoke the next morning, the sun was streaming through the windows. I jumped out of bed and rubbed my eyes before looking at my phone. I had slept in. I showered and dressed and hurried to the manor, desperate for coffee.
When I let myself in through the back door, the aunts were sitting at the kitchen table. “We’ve been deciding what to do about Jezabeth and Hemlock and the house,” Aunt Agnes said.
“Did you come up with anything?” I asked.
“No, not any solutions,” Aunt Agnes said. “As soon as you’ve had breakfast, we’ll head over to the house and assess the situation.”
“Will I call Linda to meet us there?” I asked.
Aunt Agnes shook her head. “No, not quite yet. We need to do some snooping first and see if there are any incriminating papers. Don’t forget, Gorgona didn’t expect to be murdered, so she could have left something incriminating around her house.”
“Her house was likely magically protected as well,” Aunt Maude pointed out. “We’ll need to take protection with us.”
I drank three cups of coffee in quick succession and ate some Vegemite toast. “Okay, I’m ready,” I said. “Breena, are you coming with us?”
She looked terrified and shook her head.
Agnes tapped her arm. “Okay, you can stay here, but you mustn’t leave the manor. Is that understood?”
Breena nodded.
“It’s not safe if Jezabeth and Hemlock see you without us around,” Aunt Agnes continued, “so even if they knock or bang on the door, you’re not to answer it or go outside. Maybe draw the curtains in the living room and stay in there and watch Netflix until we get back.”
Breena readily agreed.
“Wait, are you eating toast?” I asked her.
She nodded and gingerly chewed on the end of a piece of toast.
“She’s becoming more of a person and less of a cat every day,” I said in surprise.
I was also surprised when we reached Gorgona’s house. I had expected it to be somewhere in the middle of town or even on the edge of town, an unremarkable house on an unremarkable suburban street. I was shocked to see the sprawling mansion high up on a hill with a wonderful view of one of the Lighthouse Bay beaches.
“What! Why, why, it’s a mansion!” I stammered.
I looked at Aunt Dorothy, who was sitting next to me in the back seat. Her jaw was hanging open too.
“I wonder what her husband thought of her living in a mansion like this while he lived in an ordinary house in Nelson Bay,” I said.
Aunt Agnes chuckled. “I don’t think she would have given him a chance to voice his opinion. He was a human, not a vampire, so he would have done whatever she said.”
Something occurred to me. “Is Hemlock a vampire?”
“She’s a lot of things,” Aunt Agnes said in disgust, “and, yes, a vampire is one of them.”
“I wouldn’t get on her wrong side, if I were you,” Aunt Dorothy continued. “She’s not the sharpest tool in the shed if you get my meaning, and she’s also highly opinionated. Put those together and you have someone who is a bit of a problem.”
Aunt Agnes snorted. “A bit of a problem! Why, I remember when she was a child, she would have the most dreadful tantrums. She would even scream at her mother.”
Aunt Maude readily agreed. “And she often stole money from her mother.”
“Yes, that’s why I watched her all the time over dinner,” Aunt Maude said. “I didn’t want the family silver disappearing into her handbag.”
“Oh well, let’s get out and have a good snoop around the house,” Aunt Agnes said. “And I’m going to lock the door behind me so when Jezabeth and Hemlock arrive, they won’t be able to get in and catch us snooping.”
“It isn’t really snooping, is it?” I pointed out. “The three of you are executors. You’re legally entitled to look around.”
Agnes grunted. “Common sense and Jezabeth don’t have anything in common.”
We got out of the truck we had hired in the expectation of having boxes of paperwork to remove. I paused halfway up the steps to look down at the beach far below us. “What an absolutely beautiful view,” I said, gesturing to the expanse of white sand and the sparkling sea below us. “Oh look, there’s a boat out on the horizon. Gorgona would’ve had a wonderful view of dolphins and whales from here.”
I looked around to see the aunts were already at the top of the stairs, standing outside the front door. Aunt Agnes was beckoning to me. I hurried up to the door. It was painted a muted shade of red and covered with Chinese emblems
in gold. “Those are spells,” Aunt Agnes said. She rubbed a potion on them before turning the key in the lock.
As she opened the door, I gasped. I had imagined Euphemia would have an old-fashioned house. I had always also thought she would be messy and a hoarder, like one of those people you see on TV. Nothing could have been further from the truth.
The white marble floors, high ceilings, huge windows, and white walls all screamed sleek, modern design. Huge potted plants supplied a pop of colour. However, incongruous with the modernity of the architecture were the numerous antiques: five boules, one huge lavabo, numerous cedar chiffonieres, and all manner of upholstered Victorian chairs and chaises as well as earlier chairs that looked to my untrained eye to be Hepplewhite. Marble-topped credenzas were covered by Victorian glassware of every shape and colour, and garish works of majolica sat on all the coffee tables.
“Wow, this house is so big!” I exclaimed. “Where on earth would someone hide something in here? It’s so big, I wouldn’t even know where to look.”
“Let’s start in the study, once we find it,” Aunt Agnes said. “Let’s all spread out and then whoever finds the study, call out. First of all, we have to bring in all the boxes from the truck.”
Aunt Maude was the one who found the study. It was upstairs and sported huge picture windows affording magnificent views of the ocean. “Okay, Valkyrie and I will look through stuff in here,” Aunt Agnes said. “You two go to the garage and see if you can find a safe. If you find one, use magic to open it.”
“But it would be magically protected,” Aunt Dorothy protested.
“Duh!” Aunt Agnes said. “So then, use magic to break that magical protection.” She rolled her eyes and turned back to the study, muttering rudely to herself.
Aunt Agnes turned to me. “Go through all the paperwork, and tell me if you find anything even remotely suspicious. Leave electricity bills, phone bills, and Internet bills and the like here, but take anything else, unless they are receipts for printers and stuff like that. We have to take everything else. And don’t waste too much time. If in doubt, throw it in the boxes.”