The Inner Struggle: Beginnings Series Book 7

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The Inner Struggle: Beginnings Series Book 7 Page 11

by Jacqueline Druga


  “Hey, Henry.” Patrick smiled and approached the incubator.

  “The lid’s up.” Henry pointed and walked closer.

  “Yep, I was getting ready to change him and take him out. But . . . you’re here.”

  “Patrick, I don’t . . .”

  “Here.” He handed him a diaper. “You know how to do this.”

  “No, really I don’t.”

  Patrick laughed. “If you have any trouble, I’ll be in the room doing Joe reports for clinic supplies.” He stepped backwards. “Make sure you keep him in the blanket when you hold him.”

  Henry’s hand that held the diaper dropped when Patrick was gone. “Shit.” He looked down at Nick whose little legs kicked about. After setting the folder on the floor, Henry stuck his hand under Nick’s bottom and lifted him some. “Great. Sorry Nick.” Henry took a deep breath and opened the new diaper. He laid it in the incubator then reached for the pin on Nick’s diaper. Struggling some, and afraid of moving the baby, Henry opened it. “Remind me immediately to reinvent Velcro.” Taking the pin from the diaper, Henry saw it, the teddy bear that he had made, the one Frank took from Nick the day before. In the midst of his wondering and shock about it, Henry pricked himself. With an ‘ow’ he brought his finger to his mouth, still staring at that toy.

  “Henry.”

  His voice shot threw Henry like a knife. Taking his finger from his mouth, Henry shifted his eyes to Frank, who walked in.

  “I was watching you. What are you doing?”

  “They had the lid off this thing and Patrick asked me to . . .” He lifted the new diaper and dropped it. “Sorry, I was changing him.” Henry pointed to the teddy bear. “Frank, did you or did Ellen . . .”

  “Changing him?” Frank moved closer. He looked in the incubator to Nick, his diaper was half off. “Henry he’s gonna piss all over the place if you leave his diaper off.”

  “Sorry. I’m lost. Frank, where did the . . .”

  “Here.” Frank stepped in Henry’s place and grabbed the new diaper. “The trick is, you have to do it fast.” Frank grabbed the baby’s legs and lifted them. “This is my own little secret. You have to put the fresh diaper under his butt so you can do that quick action thing of switching the diaper. You have to, or else he’ll pee on you.”

  “Ellen, uh, told me about that.”

  “Happens all the time.” Frank put the new diaper under the baby and removed the old one. “Their little legs stiffen up like rigor mortis, but you can’t be afraid to bend them. They won’t break. You have to show them who's boss.”

  “He’s a week old, Frank.”

  “Never too early to start. There.” Frank secured the pin. “All done.”

  “Frank, I’m sorry I was in here with him and seeing how I was with such a simple thing as changing a diaper, maybe you’re right about the whole thing.”

  “A diaper is not an easy task Henry. It takes practice.”

  “Practice.” Henry shook his head. “Then I guess I don’t have to worry about that do I?”

  Frank stared silently at him.

  “It’s a good thing you showed up or I’d have to hold him. The only baby I ever held was Brian and I didn’t do that well.” Henry stepped back.

  “Henry, wait.” Frank wrapped the baby in a blanket. “Come here.”

  “I have to get this folder back to Ellen.” He bent down to retrieve it.

  “Forget that.” Frank lifted Nick from the incubator. “Here.”

  “I can’t, Frank.”

  “Here.” Frank stepped closer with the baby.

  “I don’t want to hold him Frank. If I do, I won’t let him go.”

  Frank moved as close as he could to Henry. “Take him.” Waiting for Henry’s arms to hesitantly extend, Frank gently laid Nick into them. He positioned Henry’s arms the way they should go. “Hold him close to your chest. They need to feel the heart beat.”

  Henry closed his eyes as he brought the small bundle closer to him. He let out a shivering breath as he felt the tiny body of the baby next to his.

  “Last night, after you came home,” Frank spoke softly, “I came back here. I sat for two hours and I stared at Nick, just stared at him and as much as I love him, as much as I want him to be my kid, he’s not. He’s yours. Stupid understanding laws or not, there’s no denying it.” Frank ran his hand over the baby’s head. “I’m not going to stand in your way anymore. He’s your son.” Frank pressed his lips to Nick’s head and stepped back.

  “Our son, Frank,” Henry spoke up.

  Frank stopped walking.

  “I always assumed he would be ours. I always assumed that you would be primary father. I just never assumed you’d want to push me out.”

  “I am pissed, Henry.” Frank faced him, “really pissed. How could I not be? This baby was the only way I could strike back at you and really get to you. I realized last night that was wrong. Nick will be the loser in all this. Not you, not me. Him.”

  “He’ll still be the loser if we don’t do this the way it’s supposed to be. You and I can’t tear each other apart.”

  “Henry, I’m not happy with you. The only reason I haven’t killed you is because you and Ellen say you don’t know how this kid happened and because I am well aware of how the time machine has fucked things up, I’m willing to accept that. But marrying, her … I can’t. We’ll never be what we were.”

  Head slightly lowered, Henry nodded.

  “But I’m not gonna be a dick about this baby anymore. You’ll be a part of his life, Beginnings rules or not.”

  “Thank you, Frank.”

  “But not until you learn how to care for him.”

  Henry exhaled. “I’ll tell you. I’m not very good.”

  “Yeah, I know. I saw by the diaper changing thing. And … I have to tell you, this baby is the cutest baby I have ever seen in my life. Everyone is talking about him.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. He’s gonna be the only Asian kid I know with blue eyes.”

  “Blue eyes?” Henry smiled. “How can you tell?”

  “Simple. The shade of gray says it all. Blue eyes. The gray of his eyes is too pale to be brown.”

  “See Frank, all this little stuff you know. You’ll teach it to me, right?”

  “Yeah, I will. First things first though.” Frank moved around front of Henry. “You have held this kid way too long. Give him up.”

  “No Frank.”

  “Henry hand him over,” Frank reached.

  “All right.” Henry gently handed over the baby. “Careful Frank, don’t break him.”

  “Henry.” Frank took him in his arms then quickly pretended he was dropping the baby. “Whoops.”

  “Frank!”

  Frank laughed, “Just kidding.” Frank placed his face close to Nick’s. “Yeah, we’ll drive Henry nuts yet, won’t we?”

  <><><><>

  It was the moment of truth and debate. Dean had to make up his mind or he knew he’d never get Frank off his back about the hypnotizing thing. He walked over to containment on a break from his clinic lab work to see Jason who was working for Ellen until she returned. Jason looked comfortable sitting at Ellen’s desk, fiddling with something in his hands. Mel, the new survivor was seated, as if waiting, across from him. “Jason.” Dean knocked on the archway. “Can I speak to you?”

  “Yes.” He still kept his eyes down to what he made.

  “What are you working on?” Dean asked him.

  “A miniature log cabin. Ellen had this for hand therapy and I want to accomplish it first before I teach the others.”

  “Are you showing um . . .” Dean looked at Mel, “him, the new guy?” Dean snapped. “Hey you look different than yesterday. Your hair is gone.”

  Mel ran his hand across his now cropped hair. “Yes, that big mean guy gave me clippers and told me I’m not twenty-one and to lose the hair.”

  “Looks good.” Dean gave a thumbs up. “That was a lot of hair to lose.”

  “Yes, we
ll, Joe took it and said it was needed elsewhere.”

  “What?” Dean chuckled then remembered this was Beginnings and everything was either done differently or weird around here. “Anyhow, Jason, I need to talk to you about what you and Frank have been discussing.”

  “Enlighten me,” Jason said. “But before you do, when is Ellen returning to work? This is quite boring.”

  “Another week or so. Getting back to what Frank and you talked about. You know hypnosis.”

  “Hypnosis?” Jason didn’t move his eyes from his house. “No, what are you talking about?”

  “Frank didn’t come in here talking to you about hypnosis?”

  “He may have.”

  “Don’t you know?” Dean asked.

  “Nope, I don’t listen to Frank.”

  “Forget it then.” Dean moved back to the door. “See you, Mel.” Trying to get out of the office at that second became a physical impossibility for Dean. Frank stood in the doorway. “Frank, I just came to see Jason. He said he doesn’t remember talking to you about hypnosis.”

  “Get the fuck out of here. Jason,” Frank yelled in the office. “Didn’t you and I talk about hypnosis?”

  “Yep,” Jason answered.

  “Don’t you know it?”

  “Yep,” he answered again.

  “See Dean.”

  Dean’s head turned from Frank to Jason. “Jason, did you hear anything he just said?”

  “Nope.”

  Dean threw his hands in the air. “Talk to me, Frank, when you get a real answer from him.” Giving up, Dean began to walk down the hall. About five or six steps into his quick pace everything went blurry, very blurry. Shit. Knowing that Frank was there, Dean had to keep going. He could still see the door, and then, it was gone. All went black. Shit. No, I can do this. I know this place. I’ll just go to the door. When I get through, I’ll wait until I can see again. Hopefully it will . . . BAM! Dean felt the searing pain to his face as he lost his balance and almost fell backwards to the ground. With his vision coming back, he could hear Frank laughing behind him.

  “This isn’t fuckin K-Mart, Dean. The doors don’t open for you. Man.”

  Of all people to see him do that, Dean turned his head back to see a blurry Frank. He gave a half smile, hoped he wasn’t bleeding, and left containment.

  <><><><>

  “This isn’t good, Dean.” Ellen’s hands trembled as she placed the small bandage on his head. “It could have been worse.”

  “I know.” Dean closed his eyes as he sat on that chair in her kitchen.

  “I put a closure on this. You don’t need stitches.”

  “El.” He reached up and grabbed her hand. “I didn’t come here to be bandaged. I came here for support. I’m getting worse.”

  Ellen let out a breath. “There has to be something we can do.”

  “There’s nothing we can do.” He watched her kneel down before him. “El.” He laid his hand on her face.” What am I gonna do? How am I supposed to take care of my kids if my sight goes?”

  “We’ll cross that bridge when we get there. I’ll help you, Dean. I’ll be there.”

  “I know.” He looked softly in her eyes. “I can’t ask on you to be there all the time. That’s too much.”

  “Would you do the same for me?”

  “Yes, I would.”

  “Then why would you think it’s asking too much? I want to be there for you. I want to help you.”

  “I know you do. Do you know what makes this situation really frightening? How am I supposed to help this community? We have Robbie and his men out there who saw the plague. It’s coming, El. It’s coming and we’re nowhere near beating it. With my sight going, we’re in a race against time. There’s a clock ticking here. It’s moving fast. I’m scared.”

  Ellen closed her eyes. “I’m sorry this is happening to you.”

  Dean felt her head lower and press tightly to his gut. Her hands gripped his legs. “I am too.” His hand stroked her hair.

  “What the fuck is this shit?” Frank bellowed into the kitchen seeing Ellen before Dean. “El, what the hell are you doing?”

  Ellen raised her head, looking at Dean. “I’m uh, I was bandaging him Frank.”

  “Where? And my dad is sending containment people here for home therapy. Where the fuck is Henry? I bet he snuck. . .” He felt Ellen brush by him with an ‘excuse me’. He watched her run into the living room. With his thumb pointed back, he faced Dean. “Was she crying?” He saw the demeanor on Dean’s face. “Is everything all right?”

  Dean stood up, ran his hand down his face then straightened his hair over the bandage. “Yeah. Excuse me.” He moved by Frank.

  Frank stood there, watching Dean leave and wondering if he should care that Dean was upset too. Deciding on ‘no’, he went into the living room and readied himself for what he thought was going to end up being an adult version of Romper Room.

  <><><><>

  “All right ladies, let’s go,” Robbie shouted to his men. “It’s ten minutes after twelve and it’s time to go home.” There was a small amounting of cheering then the men began to excitedly toss everything into the awaiting trucks. Smiling, Robbie yelled for Greg. “Greg!” He saw him lying down by the tree. “Let’s go. Nap time is over. Move.” He stepped back, watching Greg slowly get up. Robbie lifted his arm, waving Greg close, and hurrying him. Then Robbie watched Greg sway, his bigger body stumbled, his knees buckled, and Greg fell face first back down to the grass. “Greg!” Robbie raced to him sliding down in the grass as he reached Greg’s toppled body. “Greg.” Robbie shook him and received no answer. “Greg.” Almost frightened, Robbie braced Greg’s arms to roll him over. Upon the grip of Greg’s skin, Robbie knew. The burning he felt, the hot dry feeling. Seeing Greg’s face confirmed it. It was so pale and splotched, with dark circles formed under his eyes. Robbie’s breath escaped. He tried to control it, a hyperventilation that sneaked up on him as he viewed his friend. Squinting his eyes, he looked back to his men who were packing up. He thought of how to do it. There was no easy way but he had to tell them, for sure now, they couldn’t go back home.

  <><><><>

  Usually Joe never showed if anything bothered him but this did. Sitting in Frank’s living room, the cigarette burning more than he smoked it, he was silent. Occasionally he’d lift his eyes to a pacing Frank to tell him to stop, but other than that he listened.

  “I need samples, Joe.” Dean pleaded. “I have to go out there. I have to find out if this is our virus. Because I’ll tell you, the incubation period is definitely longer.”

  “You can’t go out there,” Joe told him. “I can’t risk it and you know it.”

  “I’ll wear a bio suit. Tell him, El.”

  “He can do that, Joe, but . . .” She stopped for a second when she heard Frank step harshly and huff. “But, we also can drop a box in and have Marty do the same. He’s the unit medic, right Frank. Frank?”

  “Huh?” Frank folded his arms. “Um yeah, El.”

  “There,” Ellen nodded. “Dean trained him. Have him do it if you don’t want to take chance of one of us getting exposed.”

  Joe finished his cigarette. “That’s not a bad idea. We dropped some supplies off to them. Dean, what else can you think off that we can drop the next time in a few days?”

  “We haven’t any idea what their symptoms are so we can’t treat them yet. Hopefully, by the next drop, we’ll know that,” Dean spoke. “Anything we send out cannot come back. I’m going to prepare documentation for Robbie to keep track of the progress of the illness. Also, did you send gloves out to those men? They have to have gloves, Joe, because those who are not symptomatic by tomorrow probably weren’t exposed the first time around. But . . . they are now.”

  Henry listened to Dean ramble, but he had a hard time staying with Dean because he kept looking at Frank. Frank looked disturbed, probably upset about Robbie. He kept walking then sitting, and then walking, all while holding his arms close and seemingly w
iping a chill from himself. “El,” Henry moved to her whispering, “is Frank O.K.?”

  “I don’t know Henry. Upset maybe?”

  “He doesn’t look good. Maybe he’s sick.”

  “I’ll ask him.” Ellen walked to Frank who had just sat down again. “Frank?”

  Frank jumped a little and turned his head to her. “Yeah?”

  “Are you all right?”

  “Fine.” He ran his hand down his face then brought his hands together in a wringing fashion.

  “Frank, you don’t look all right.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Frank.” She laid her hand on his. “You’re shaking.”

  “I said I’m fine!” He pulled from her and stood up. “I’m upset about Robbie. I need a drink.”

  “Frank.” Ellen started to follow him, glancing at the faces whose attention was grasped by Frank’s outburst. “Frank.” She went into the kitchen as he pulled his bottle down from the top cabinet. “Frank, stop it.”

  “Stop what?” He grabbed for a glass.

  “You don’t need to drink.”

  “Drop it, El.”

  “No, Frank.”

  “Drop it, El.” Frank’s voice raised some more as he poured his moonshine.

  “Give me that.”

  “Drop it El!” Frank downed it. “Just . . . drop it. O.K.?” He poured another shots worth.

  “No I will not drop it. This is ridiculous. I worry about you.”

  “Don’t.”

  Ellen fluttered her lips. “I wish to God it was that easy. I wish I didn’t have to worry about you. But like it or not Frank, I love you and I care. I’m worried. You drink all the time now, especially when things are rough or don’t go your way.”

  “Oh, so you see me so much you can make this conclusion? Well I’m sick of you saying something every time you see me with a drink in my hand.”

  “I’m sick of seeing you drink,” Ellen came back. “I think . . .” She saw Frank turn his back to her. “No Frank, listen.” She spun him to face her. “I think you many have a problem.”

  Frank laughed an ignoring laugh at her, turning away again.

 

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