by Jenna Mindel
In both of them.
* * *
Cat woke and checked on Opal. Her baby looked peaceful, swaddled in a soft cotton blanket. Her little left arm with the sock-covered IV rested on her rounded little belly. Cat reached over and touched Opal’s forehead. Normal.
Cat felt more normal too, now that she’d finally forgiven herself—and now that Simon knew the truth about her. With his help, Cat had pulled the adult hospital bed right next to the crib. She slipped off that bed, taking the blanket with her and wrapping it around her shoulders. She padded quietly to the window and looked back, making sure she hadn’t disturbed Simon.
He snoozed in a semi-reclining sort of chair in the corner, half covered by a cotton blanket that matched hers. His dark hair was messy, his face unshaven and his white shirt wrinkled. This was how he’d looked when they’d first met. He had stayed with her all night in the hospital. He could have gone home, but he’d stayed.
Her parents were close by as well, staying overnight at a hotel only minutes away. Her loved ones had rallied around her when she’d needed them most.
Even Sue Jensen. Especially Sue Jensen.
Cat might always fight the temptation of giving in to guilt, but at least she’d accepted that God wasn’t out to punish her. She knew deep down that He wanted to love her and He wanted her love in return, free from fear.
Love.
She wanted to love Opal without fear. Simon too. Was it possible? Could she truly trust the Lord enough to cast out those fears?
Gazing at the clear dark sky with a swath of stars and a sliver of bright moon hanging low in the sky, Cat finally felt at peace, but something still stirred deep within her. The pain was there. Sure, the memories of that awful day remained as clear as if it had happened yesterday. It would always be with her, a part of her. If only she could pour some of that out somehow.
Glancing at Simon, she slowly pulled her laptop from its case, cringing when the plug hit the floor with a thwack. Holding her breath, she waited, but he didn’t move. His breathing remained deep and even.
She opened the lid and powered up, and then she stared at the screen. Her fingers poised over the keys, Cat started with the stark truth.
I accidentally killed a three-year-old girl...
Praying that God would loosen what she’d secretly gripped so tightly, Cat was amazed as the story flew from her heart through her fingers onto the computer screen. She didn’t hold anything back, no whitewashing or making it pretty. She didn’t qualify anything either. She simply retold what happened, and her feelings and reactions flowed out afterward.
She didn’t know how long she’d been typing away, but when she finally came to the end, she leaned back, completely spent. Empty yet filled. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she hit Save and then resaved it in the nether regions of her online storage space.
Simon stirred across the room. “What time is it?”
Cat peeked at the time in the bottom corner of her laptop. “Nearly seven.”
“Are you okay?” Simon’s craggy whisper sounded more dear than she ever thought possible.
She wiped at the tears with her fingers. She was a mess but oddly at peace. She’d rely on God to clear up and organize her body, soul and spirit. Left to her own devices, she merely rearranged the mess, making it bigger. “I think I might be. Finally.”
“That’s good to hear.” He got up and came toward her. “What are you working on? Your freelance article?”
“No.” She let out a shuddering breath before closing the lid of her laptop and setting it down on the floor. Maybe she’d let Simon read it, maybe this was for Opal a few years down the road, so she’d understand her mother’s issues.
Looking up into Simon’s worried eyes, Cat whispered. “I’m working on me.”
He pulled her to her feet so he could face her. “I’m working on me too. You scared me pretty good.”
“I’m sorry.” Cat searched his dark eyes.
He tucked her hair behind her ear. “You made me face how empty I kept my life.”
She understood that too. She’d traveled in an attempt to escape her past, but it went with her anyway.
“Being parents is not going to be easy,” Simon said. “There’s things like this fever that will take us by surprise, things we can’t control. I guess that’s where trusting God comes in. Ultimately, Opal is in His hands.”
Cat searched Simon’s eyes. Like his tea, she needed to steep in that wisdom until the truth of it ran dark and strong through her veins. But there was still the question of them. “What about you and me?
“We’ve got some things to figure out yet, but I need you to know—” He cleared his throat. “Know that I love you, Catherine.”
She felt tears well up all over again. “I love you too, Simon.”
They leaned close, their lips mere seconds from each other, when the door opened. A new nurse entered. Shift change.
“Oh, sorry, I can come back.”
Cat backed up, away from Simon, but she never let go of his hand. “No, please come in and check on our baby, tell us she’s better. She feels better.”
The nurse was young and she smiled. “I’ll have a look, but I’ll leave the details to the doctor. He’ll be in later this morning.”
“Okay.” Cat watched her every move, hoping, praying they could go home.
“Cat, look.” Simon pointed at the window.
The sky had grown a brilliant pink from the coming sunrise. A new day dawned. For all of them.
Chapter Fifteen
It had been a week since they’d brought Opal home from her stay in the hospital. The cultures had all come back negative of any bacterial growth. Her illness had been viral and the seizure a result of a sudden high fever spike.
His little princess was back to her gurgling self with some added smiles and babbling. Opal now recognized him as soon as he entered a room. She’d bounce up and down like the Christmas bubble lights on the Zelinsky Christmas tree when she spotted him. That small action was more precious to him than anything.
Nearly every day this week after he closed up shop, Simon had driven north of town to Cat’s parents’. Cat and Opal had stayed put, not coming by the store until Opal’s sickness was gone. He missed having them at the shop—
His cell rang, cutting off his thoughts. He checked the number that belonged to his sister and took a deep breath. “Hello?”
“Simon? It’s Margo.”
“Thanks for getting back to me so soon.”
“I’m glad you called. I didn’t know how to get a hold of you and, well, it’s been a while.” Her voice sounded strained, but not angry.
Relief washed through him. “Since Mom’s funeral. Look, I need to apologize for many things, not calling sooner being one of them.”
Silence.
“Margo?”
“I’m here. You know there’s a lot of blame all around, on all of us.” She paused, took a deep breath and continued, “I got your message and, so, yeah, we can make it the weekend before Christmas.”
“Great, I’ll reserve a room for you and—is it Jim?” Her second husband. Simon remembered meeting him at the funeral and he’d seemed like a nice guy.
“Yes, but I can do it—”
“Margo, let me get this. I owe you a lot more than a couple nights’ stay.” Simon wanted to do it, and she needed to accept.
“Okay.”
“No word on Barry?”
His sister sighed. “No. He won’t talk to me. He’s out of jail, living somewhere, but I don’t know where. He’s lost, Simon. Lost to us both.”
That kicked him in the gut. “I should have—”
“Stop right there. We’ve all made choices, some good and some bad. You were trying to help and we didn’t give you much in the way of thanks for that.”
Sim
on felt himself smile. Forgiveness seemed to be a contagious thing these days. He looked forward to knowing his sister better. “We can talk more when you’re here.”
“I look forward to that. See you soon.”
“And more often.”
“I’d like that.”
“Me too.” Simon disconnected.
His sister lived in Green Bay, Wisconsin. A six-hour drive through the Upper Peninsula. He could take Cat and Opal there for a visit one day.
Simon returned to work, polishing the large opal. He’d have it faceted in time. He planned a special setting that would complement the opal’s large size. He’d asked Helen if she’d watch the baby this Friday evening. She’d also agreed to open her house—
Simon couldn’t get ahead of himself. In two days, he’d take Cat out for dinner. Their first real date. It wouldn’t be the last. Not by a long shot, but first, he had to finish the ring.
* * *
Cat twirled so the full skirt of the black dress she’d borrowed from her mom fluttered around her knees. Slipping into her clunky black boots, Cat checked the clock. Simon would pick her up any minute.
Tromping down the stairs, Cat spotted Simon in the living room and stopped. He looked elegant, dressed in a dark gray wool suit. “Hello.”
His eyes widened when he saw her. “Catherine.”
Something about the way he said her full name still sent a thrilling shiver up her spine. “You look nice.”
He stepped toward her, never breaking his gaze. “So do you.”
Cat’s belly did somersaults. She had an idea what he was up to, asking her out to dinner, stating he’d already asked Cat’s mom to babysit Opal. She hoped her hunch was correct. “Ready?”
“I’ll get our coats.”
Cat glanced at her mom. “Call my cell if you need me.”
“I won’t need you. Now go and enjoy.” Her mother grinned and pushed her forward.
This was it. Cat was pretty sure Simon was going to ask her to marry him. Maybe. He’d kept his plans for his scheduled gem hunt after the first of the year, but he’d promised to return. He’d be gone only weeks, instead of months.
She’d be busy while he was gone, between the store and her new friendship with Sue Jensen. While Cat holed up at her parents’ until Opal recovered, she’d spent some time with Sue. The Jensen family still lived down the road from her folks, in the very same house.
It had been the first time since the drowning that Cat had set foot into that house and it had been rough. She’d let Sue read the journal entry she’d typed in the predawn hours at the hospital, and after they’d both cried, Sue had suggested that Cat publish it somewhere. Simon had agreed, after he’d read it. Something to consider, especially if her experience could somehow help others.
Simon slipped into his wool coat and then held open hers.
She slid her arms into her coat and turned toward her mom. She’d fed Opal before getting ready. “Not sure when we’ll be back. If Opal cries, she might take a bottle.”
“No worries. You two have a good time.” Her mom waved them off.
Cat exited the house, only to stick her head back in. “There are fresh bottles for Opal in the fridge.”
“Yes, Cat, I know. Go.”
Cat squared her shoulders and stepped off her parents’ front porch. She grabbed hold of Simon’s arm with a sense of anticipation mixed with dread. This was their first real date. Would he ask her tonight or wait until he returned from Africa?
* * *
They entered the Maple Springs Inn and the place was crowded. Christmas music came from someone on a piano in the bar. Thankfully Helen had suggested that he make reservations, else they may not have made it in tonight.
He wanted to do this right and proper, and the Inn was perfect and decorated to the hilt for the holidays. Real Christmas trees graced every dining room. There were only three open to the public this time of year, as the fourth was reserved for private parties.
Passing by one tree festooned with white feathers and crystal, he caught a whiff of pine and remembered gathering greens with Cat. They’d already started toward their lifetime of memories.
The hostess led them to a small table close to a real log-burning fireplace. Holding out a chair for Cat, he patted the box in his suit-coat pocket and nerves shuddered through him.
He loved Cat and he wanted Opal to have both a mom and a dad who were together, forever. He wasn’t sure about giving Opal brothers and sisters. But then, they’d figure that out in time. He wanted Cat to join him on the next gem hunt in the fall. Opal would be a year old by then. Old enough to stay with her grandparents for a week. One day, perhaps Opal could go with them too, traveling.
“Isn’t this pretty?” Cat sniffed the fresh red rose tucked into a vase with some pine. All the tables had them.
He rubbed the back of his neck. What if she said no? “Yes, very nice.”
“You okay?” Cat asked.
“Yes, why?”
She smiled. “You seem, I don’t know, nervous or something.”
“I am. Look, Cat, I was going to wait until after dinner, but this box is burning a hole in my pocket.” He reached for the ring box and set it down in front of her.
Inside was the opal of his dreams. The best of the lot he’d purchased and the best he’d ever seen, anywhere. He’d polished and faceted the raw opal into a near ten-carat engagement ring, cradled in white gold, with a crescent-moon sweep of diamonds along one side.
He hoped Cat liked it.
She took a deep breath. “Should I open it?”
He gave her a look.
She reached for the box, clenched her fingers into fists and then relaxed them by shaking them out.
“Now who’s nervous?” he taunted.
She made a face in return. Touching the lid of the black velvet box, her gaze sought his, questioning.
“I hope you like it. If not, I can set something else, something you might prefer.”
A worried look crept into her pretty blue eyes. “Is this my Christmas present, because I didn’t bring yours with me.”
“No, Cat. It’s not for Christmas. It’s for forever.” He took another deep breath while Cat stared at the box. He adjusted his tie, loosening it a tad, unbuttoning the top button of his newly pressed shirt, waiting for her to open the lid.
Finally, she did so with a gasp. “Oh.”
“Will you marry me?”
Her fingers shook as she picked up the box and handed it back to him with tears in her eyes.
His stomach rolled over and died. He thought he might black out from the throbbing in his ears and the tearing of his heart. Was this no, then?
“Could you put it on my finger, please?”
He tipped his head. “So, you will?”
She laughed then. “Yes, Simon. I will marry you, if you’ll put that gorgeous ring on my finger.”
“It’s from the group of raw stones I bought with you.” He took her hand in his and felt her tremble. “Why are you shaking?”
She closed her eyes and one tear tripped out from beneath her lashes to run down her cheek. “I never thought this was possible for me. To feel, you know, this happy.”
Without letting go of her hand, he pulled the ring from the box and brought it to his lips. He kissed the large opal before slipping it onto her finger. “We’re going to make it, you and I. We’re going to have a happy life raising our daughter together.”
She nodded and another tear escaped.
He let go of her and then stood and pulled his chair around the small table to sit right next to her. “I’ve never loved like this.”
Her eyes searched his. “I know, me neither.”
Then she held her hand out in front of her. She moved her fingers so the colors within the opal danced in the soft glow of the fire. �
�This ring is amazing. Thank you for making it for me.”
“I think it had your name upon it from the start.”
She leaned toward him, gently pulling his head to hers.
He returned the kiss, not caring that they were in the middle of a crowded restaurant dining room. He’d never expected to experience the kind of happiness that came with having a family of his own.
When they finally broke apart, Simon chuckled. “Maybe I’d best return to my side of the table.”
“Nope, you stay right here.” Cat smiled up at the waiter who introduced himself and then offered to rearrange the place setting.
Simon took the offered menu. Now that they’d gotten the engagement out of the way, the wedding date came next and he hoped Cat would agree to what he’d planned with the help of her mother. “Now that you’ve agreed to be my wife, let’s talk dates.”
Cat chuckled. “You’re getting right to it.”
“I see no reason for delay, do you?”
“No.” She covered his hand, looking serious. “The sooner, the better, and nothing big. I’d rather it just be family.”
Relieved that she didn’t want a grand event, he asked, “What do you think about the Saturday before Christmas?”
Her eyes grew round. “That’s like a week away. Where on earth will we find a place?”
“Your mother offered up their house. Your family will be there and mine—well, my sister has agreed to come.”
“Oh, Simon, you talked to your sister? That’s wonderful. What about your brother?”
“I’m still trying to track him down.”
Cat looked thoughtful. “So, you have it all planned.”
“Do you mind? I’ve heard it said that girls like big weddings. This will be pretty tame.”
“It’ll be perfect. I’ve never really thought much about my own wedding, so whatever we do is fine. I’d rather plan our honeymoon for when Opal is older. I can think of a couple of places I’d love to show you.”
Of course she could.
“I’m in your hands.”
He was too. He was trusting her with his heart, his daughter and the rest of his life. Of all the places he’d been and they planned to go, this was where he wanted to be most. Alongside Cat, with her hand in his. Forever.