Carter reaches behind me, picking me up and allowing me to wrap my legs around his waist. In this moment I lose myself in him, to feel what it’s like to be held by this man who I know will crush me.
“I need to stop,” Carter says, as he pulls back and looks at me panting.
I can’t respond, just looking into his eyes while I gather my senses and feel my feet hit the wood floors underneath them.
“I’m confused and you can’t play with my emotions like this, Carter.”
“I know,” he says, as he stares up at the ceiling. “I’m not good for you, Tabitha. Having a relationship with me right now… Could ruin your life. If I were you I’d take my bags and run as far away from me as you could and not look back.”
“Right now I don’t care how good or how bad you are for me. If you didn’t already figure this out, I don’t like playing by the rules. I make them as I go through life.”
He’s taken back from this statement, thinking I’d be weak and run out on him. No, Carter Northwood started this game. It’s time to finish it now.
****
Carter
Tabitha has no idea what could happen to her life if I slip up. I have to stay focused, and stop thinking with the wrong head. I can’t let Bethany and her family put a black cloud over her.
I will not allow any harm to her. I’ve got to play it safe for now and then I can make her mine. But only then will I take charge the way I need.
As I’ve stepped back, I take in Tabitha. Her face is flushed with a tiny hint of pink in her cheeks. Her breathing has quickened and I can see the fire burning in her eyes.
“This isn’t a game and I’m sorry,” I say, as I turn from her to head into my room.
“Carter,” she says quickly, causing me to stop and turn towards her. I can’t make eye contact so I stare down at her feet. Her eyes will bring me to my knees at this point.
“Yeah,” is the only response I can form, what else is there to say?
“Where’s my room?”
“Second door on the right. I’m sorry for not showing you around, I hope you find everything you need for the evening,” I say, heading back towards the hall to my room.
As I step inside, I close the door and lean up against it.
Closing my eyes, I mentally curse myself and push off to head for my bed. Forgoing a shower, I plan to keep her scent on me for as long as I can.
****
Staring at the ceiling, I can’t help but think back to a few hours ago. I had Tabitha pressed up against the glass like a raging teenager with his hormones out of control. I patronize myself for not taking my time before I crushed her. I should have memorized everything about her while I had the chance.
Tomorrow, well no, today is a new day and I don’t know what that holds for us. If I explain to her my dilemma I could lose her before I even have her. Keeping my secrets from Tabitha is the only way I know how to move forward.
It’s like playing Russian roulette.
****
I woke to the buzzing noise coming from my clock; some time ago I found sleep. I run my hands over my face, feeling the stubble.
Sitting up, I place my feet down onto the cool carpet and listen. I’m not sure if Tabitha is up or not since the condo is silent. I decide to jump in the shower and dress before I venture out and face the fire.
I walk out into the hall dressed in my signature work attire, jeans and a button up shirt. Since I have to be on site today with the builders, I have my work boots on instead of my oxfords.
Stopping in front of Tabitha’s door, I lean up against it and listen. I don’t hear any movement from the other side. With a sigh, I continue on to get the coffee going. I’ve noticed on a few occasions that she always has a coffee cup on her desk or near her. Being the coffee junkie that I am, I find it amusing that she is as well.
It’s the little things about her that have captured me. Someone who has built a fort around them can still possess so much spunk and personality.
I never know what to expect next from her. Her smart mouth and sassy clothes are just one of the many things that I’m growing accustomed to. I can’t imagine what it would be like if I could see her daily.
The pot’s brewing as I wonder over to the fridge. Just as I’m about to open it, I notice a note hanging from the front.
Carter,
I’m sorry about last night and I never meant to cross that professional line with you. I’ve made arrangements to be taken to my car for an earlier flight out today. Yesterday gave me enough knowledge to move forward with the contract. I feel it best to only work together from teleconference from here on out. If you disagree, I’m sure Angela can take over the account.
Feel free to email and let me know if this will serve as a problem.
I’ll be in touch later in the week with a proposal.
Sincerely,
T.M.
I read the letter at least a million times as I curse myself. I wasn’t sure what I’d planned to say to her this morning, if anything.
I just wanted to see her.
I needed to be able to look into her eyes for an answer.
Now I’ll never get them unless I figure out another way.
Chapter Twenty Two
Tabitha
I’ve managed to arrange for an earlier flight, and I’m thankful. There was no way I could face Carter this morning. Taking the coward’s way out of this situation.
I did what I’m told I do best; run.
I ran when Robert broke me, when Cory tried to push me, and now when I don’t know how to fight for what I desire.
Writing that note this morning was heart wrenching. This man has maneuvered his way into not just my heart, but my head. A part of me wanted to stay and fight with him.
Needing him to give me that look he does. I’ve never been stared down with such passion and fire, as Carter Northwood does.
When he looks at me, it’s as if I’m the only thing he sees.
Angela wasn’t expecting me back until tonight, so I’ve got to entertain myself until then. She would blow her top right about now. Plus, she has way too much on her plate with douche nozzle, Christopher.
Not to mention the whole Logan Black affair.
Seth and Cory are still angry with me. The only other person I can talk to about my shit life right now is Jason. He never judges me or pushes me one way or the other.
Tabitha: Jason, can we talk? I text out, as I slide into my car and wait.
Jason: I’ve been expecting your text. Coffee in 20?
Tabitha: See you then.
Now I’ve got to figure out how to explain everything to him.
Do I start back with Cory and then proceed to explain about Carter?
I might as well give him the whole story, and then listen to see if he has any wise words for me.
As I enter the coffee shop, I notice Jason’s already arrived and has us both a coffee waiting.
“Hi,” I let out, sliding into the booth.
“You look like shit.”
“Thanks it’s so nice to see you too.”
“You know I state the facts. So how we doing this? Want to chit chat and then get down to it, or just cut the air now?”
“Cut the air, I guess,” I say, as I take a sip of my coffee and look over towards Jason through my eyelashes. I can tell he’s waiting for me to start.
“How’s work?” I ask, as I’m not sure where to start.
“Not going to answer that until I hear what’s going on with you. It must be serious if you called me and not Seth.”
“I don’t know what to do, Jason,” I let out quick breath and continue, “I’m lost, and confused, and I need to know how to fix this mess.”
“Babe, I hate to break it to you, but you’ve been lost for a while now. I watch you week after week guard yourself, and only let us into your life. You go out and flirt and have a good time, but that’s not you,” he stops and places a hand on top of mine before he goes on. “You’re so
full of life when we see you, but you’re not happy. Something is missing; you need to find the one. The one that loves your free spirit, and can handle the fire that burns within you.”
My spine stiffens as I listen to Jason. He’s never expressed this to me and I’m a little taken aback by him being so straight forward.
I try to interrupt him, but he holds up his finger to stop me.
“I know what went down with, Cory. Hell we all do. He’s been moping around like someone died. In reality someone did. Cory lost a best friend, as you did. Sucks, but we all told him that you didn’t love him in that capacity. Now the question is, how do we fix this shit and move on?”
“That’s not all, Jason. It’s just not Cory.”
“Okay…What do you mean?”
“Well Cory is half of it, and then Carter is the other problem.”
“Who’s, Carter?” he questions with a confused expression.
“The guy I was at dinner with that night at the Sushi Bar.”
“Oh the night you crushed our dear friend.”
“Stop saying it like that. I didn’t mean to crush anyone and you know that,” I say, defensively.
Earning an annoyed look from Jason, “So what’s the problem with that guy? I thought that was a business dinner.”
“It was in a way. I don’t know how to explain it. He’s complicated, a client, and lives in another state but…” Stopping to collect my thoughts. I have to figure out what I plan to say next.
“He drives me mad. He makes me want things that I never thought I would again. I literally think about him all day, and even in my sleep,” I rush out the words before my brain has time to process what I’m saying.
“Wow, Firecracker. I never thought I’d hear it. You’re in love.”
“No, I’m not in love. I hardly know the guy. Like? Yeah you can say I like him, and would love to see where it could go. You know I’ll never go down that path again.”
“Don’t say never, and you’ll see what I’m talking about. When the time is right, I get to say I told you so.”
Not responding to Jason, I continue to rip apart the napkin in front of me. I’m not even in the mood now to finish my coffee, thanks to him for putting the thought of loving someone in my head.
I was screwed up before, and now I’m even more.
Jason and I catch up on everything from the last week. He invites me to The Hill tonight for a few drinks. Stating that I owe him one, and need to fix this between Cory and me.
I’ve agreed to show up and give it my all.
I miss my plus one and need my buddy back.
****
Carter
Deciding to drink Tabitha out of my mind. I head home and pour a shot as I work my way into my home office. Being all over the place today. Every time my phone rang, I jumped to see if it was her calling.
Much to my disappointment, the only person besides Jack, was Bethany.
Jack is still tailing Tabitha and keeping an eye on her. Currently he’s making sure that Bethany doesn’t have wind yet. I’ve been known to have a few girlfriends on the side. It was an open agreement between us. She could have who she desired, as could I.
The only thing we have ever agreed upon. It’s been a few years since I’ve even tried to date or have anything to do with another woman. It became too complicated. The more limelight Senator Edwards was in, the more I was noticed.
Some days I think Bethany makes sure the press knows who I am.
I’ve had reporters approach me on building sites, functions and even alone while out to dinner. This is another reason I can’t continue with Tabitha. How would I explain to her that we have to have room service or take out every dinner? I can make up excuses on travel if I play my cards right, but not the attention while out and about.
Jack’s informed me that no one other than myself has been to California, and that currently my girl is out with her friends.
This is what I’ll make do with, until I find a solution to the end.
Chapter Twenty Three
Tabitha
Standing at the door of The Hill, I take a deep breath preparing myself for the night. I’m not sure the welcome I’ll receive, but I plan to make Cory listen to me.
Spotting the group at our normal table, I get a nod from Jason and notice him patting Cory on the back. He turns his head and looks over towards me with sorrow in his eyes.
He grabs a beer from the bucket, and turns to walk towards me. I don’t move since I’m trying to take this extra time to figure out what I plan to say.
I peek up at him standing in front of me, “Hi.” Is the only thing I can think of.
“Hi, thought you might need this,” he says, as he hands me the open beer and I take it from him.
“Thanks. Hey, do you think we can talk.”
“Nothing to talk about. What’s said and done is in the past. Tonight we start fresh, and I have my friend back.”
“Really?” I say bright-eyed, as I crash into him for a Cory sized hug.
“Easy, Firecracker,” he says as he embraces me and places a light kiss on top of my head and continues. “Plus, I need my drinking partner tonight. The guys plan to ditch us soon, something about they all have shit to do. Come on.”
Reaching the table, I give my normal round of hugs and greeting. We all share a few round of drinks before they say their goodbyes.
Cory and I stand in silence for a while before a good song starts to play through the speakers.
“Care to take a spin with me tonight?”
“You think you can keep up?”
“You know it. Now get your ass on that floor and show me what you got.”
I finish off the rest of my beer and head out to the floor. As I turn around, Cory is on my heels.
“You’re shorter tonight in flats. I like it when you wear your heels.”
I don’t respond, I just throw him that look saying to shut it up and dance. “Only Girl (in the world)” by Rihanna is playing and I love this song. It’s how I want to feel.
I like being the center of attention, and tonight I’m happy with what I have in front of me.
Things feel normal.
As we’re dancing, I notice that guy from a while back. He’s alone and paying close attention to everything I’m doing. He gives me the creeps right about now, but I’m thankful that I have Cory next to me.
We must have danced for hours, each one of us taking turns getting the shots, and a chaser beer. Last call just rang out and we need to head out.
Tonight’s been like old times, the only person who was missing from our dance fest was my brother. He left shortly after I arrived, and I plan to make him answer my questions before the week is over.
“Ready, Firecracker?”
“Yeah,” I say, while yawning.
“We can share a cab, and I’ll come pick you up tomorrow to get your car,” Cory explains, as we head out into the dark parking lot.
When I step out, I notice the same guy making his way out behind us.
“Hey, you see that guy? He’s been watching all night and gives me the creeps.”
“Guess I need to give him something to watch then,” Cory says, as he spins me around in his arms, and I slam into his chest.
“Cory, what are you doing?”
“Just feel. No harm in letting him enjoy a little show,” he says, as he lowers his head down towards me. Stopping as he’s second guessing his next move.
Cory slides his hands up my back and tugs on my hair with enough force to cause me to look up and into his eyes.
Whispering, “We can’t do this.” He doesn’t stop as I watch in slow motion, his lips coming towards mine.
The kiss is laced with desire, and years of need.
I can feel every emotion that Cory has ever had, or has for me in this one simple act. Not knowing what comes over me, as I wrap my hands around his neck and pull him in closer to me. I give back just as much as he’s giving me.
I’m not sur
e when we walked backwards, but my back hits the brick wall behind me. Not allowing it to stop us, we continue to kiss as if it’s the last time we will ever be in this position.
Cory abruptly pulls back and says breathlessly, “Taxi?”
I can only nod my head up and down.
Cory picks me up as if he’s scared I might run and I know I should, but right now I need what he’s about to give me.
Needing for him to take my mind off Carter. I’ve got to have a release of the built up tension. Maybe if I open my mind up to what Carter and I could be, we actually might be able to work this out.
“Thank God you live close,” he pants in my ear, as he kisses up and down the side of my neck in the taxi.
Within minutes we’re out and inside my apartment.
Closing the door behind us, with a swift jerk Cory has me facing the door with my back to him. He raises my arms above my head and holds them in place with one hand as he moves my hair out of the way with his other. Slowly kissing down my neck to my shoulder.
“I’ve waited years to see how good your skin tastes,” he says in a low growl, causing me to lean my head back into him.
He spins me around to face him, and my hands have managed to stay above my head intertwined into his. I’ve never been tossed around like Cory is doing now, and its awaking something deep inside me.
A desire to take the next step, and see if my feelings can change for him.
I know in my head that Cory will love me for who I am, and will always stand beside me no matter what.
I just pray that what we’re about to do, doesn’t break us. Life without him for me is the end of my world. When I think about the years in the past, he’s the one that I see.
Now I just have to find a way to get Carter out of my head when Cory kisses me. It didn’t hit me until now, that with every kiss I’m thinking it’s Carter who’s devouring me, not the person that’s carrying me to my room.
****
Carter
Sound asleep I’m startled when my phone starts ringing, as I take a peek at who’s calling me at two in the morning. Alarmed to see that it’s Jack, “What’s wrong?” I answer in a panic.
Unexpected Chances Page 11