Single Wide Female in Love Complete Bundle: Books 1-4

by Blake, Lillianna

  He wasn’t entirely wrong about me trying to hide my feelings from him. I just couldn’t shake my disappointment. I was ready to start the next chapter in our lives—our marriage—but it was clear to me that Max wasn’t yet. I knew that it wasn’t fair of me to try to rush him.

  Just when I started to wonder what could be holding him up, he reached out and took my hand.

  “I love you, Sammy.”

  “I love you too, Max.” I leaned over to kiss him.

  The passion we shared swept away the doubt in my mind. If Max needed time, that was fine with me. I knew that we belonged together.

  The next morning I woke up determined to get some serious work done. I may have neglected a few days of work while preparing for the proposal that hadn’t happened. It wasn’t just my date with Max that had distracted me, though.

  Lately, I hadn’t been enjoying my apartment as much as I once did. It had always been my retreat, my place of solace, but now it felt rather empty when I was in it. Max and I saw each other so often that it was hard for me not to feel lonely when I was at home without him.

  There wasn’t an inch of the place that didn’t hold some memory of Max being there. So, if I made myself a cup of coffee, or picked up the remote to turn on the television, I was reminded that everything was much more fun when Max was around.

  Maybe that was why I was in such a rush to get married. I looked forward to a time when Max and I would be saying goodnight rather than goodbye.

  Still, as I tidied up and prepared to settle in for a writing session I felt a small pang of regret for the independence I would be losing. It was nice to be able to work in my pajamas without a thought of brushing my hair or sprucing up.

  I was really passionate about my latest book in the B.I.G. Girls Club series. Writing on the topic of living life with confidence always helped me clear my thoughts. As I read over what I’d written already, I felt all of my anxiety beginning to subside. I’d been trying to cling too tightly to the future instead of living in the present.

  I immersed myself in the book for almost two hours. When I surfaced from it, my shoulders were a little sore. I stood up and began stretching. Once I felt more limber, I reached for my phone to call Max. But then I stopped myself.

  It suddenly dawned on me that I’d wrapped myself up in the expectation of being proposed to. I hadn’t thought about anything else. In fact, since Max and I had begun dating, I’d spent all of my free time with him. Maybe the problem was that I’d forgotten that I had a life of my own to participate in.

  Instead of calling Max, I decided to call a friend. The only problem was, I didn’t have too many to choose from. I had plenty of people that were acquaintances, but very few that I considered very close friends.

  It had been quite a while since I’d spoken to my friend Stephanie. Things had been tense between us for a while when she was dating Max, and we’d lost touch since then. But one thing I knew about Stephanie was that no matter what happened between us—no matter how much time passed without contact—we’d always be great friends.

  I decided to give her a call. As soon as she answered she gushed into the phone.

  “Oh my God, Sammy, I swear that you must be psychic.”

  “Huh?” I laughed.

  “I was just thinking about you. I can’t believe it’s been over a year since we’ve hung out. I mean, we chat online, but when was the last time we actually saw each other in person?”

  “That’s why I’m calling. I wanted to see if you were available for lunch.”

  “Absolutely! Where do you want to meet?”

  “Maria’s?” I smiled. Stephanie and I always loved to binge on Mexican food.

  “Okay, great. I can be there in an hour, is that okay?”

  “Sure.”

  After I hung up the phone, I started to get excited. Stephanie hadn’t seen me in a long time and I was sure she’d be surprised by the weight I’d lost. Not only that, but I would get to tell her that Max and I were dating. She and Max had dated a bit, but it never turned into anything too serious. In fact, she’d been the one to point out to me that Max and I were meant to be together.

  I raided my closet for my newest outfit. It was a slingback blouse with a pair of khaki shorts. I didn’t often wear shorts, but now that I felt more confident in my own body, I’d begun wearing them.

  Once I was dressed I grabbed my keys and headed for the door. With a good amount of work done for the morning, I felt good about taking a short break.

  Chapter 3

  I pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant and paused to look into the mirror.

  “Be mindful of what you put in your mouth,” I said out loud to my reflection. “We did not work this hard to blow it all now. You still have to fit into a wedding gown.”

  I laughed at the thought, but really, I couldn’t wait.

  I walked up to the restaurant in time to see a couple step out hand in hand. I noticed that they wore wedding rings. They looked quite a bit younger than me. I had been noticing things like that lately. I didn’t mean to, but I couldn’t help it.

  I opened the door of the restaurant. Stephanie stood up and waved to me as I walked in. We giggled as we hugged each other tight. There didn’t need to be a reason for our laughter. It was just natural between us. The moment I was with her again, I was flooded with the memories of all of our past antics. I didn’t know how I’d let so much time pass without seeing her.

  “Wow, Samantha! You look fantastic!” Stephanie took a step back and studied me from head to toe. “Why didn’t you tell me that you’d lost so much weight?”

  “Well, I still have quite a few pounds to go.” I smiled. “I’m proud of how far I’ve come, though. You look amazing, as always.”

  “Thanks.” Stephanie blushed a little. “I really needed to hear that.”

  “Of course. Is everything okay?”

  We sat down together at the table.

  “I already ordered some chips and salsa.” She pointed to the large bowl in the middle of the table.

  “Great.” I snatched one up and scooped some salsa. “Now tell me what’s going on?” I frowned. I could see some sadness in her expression.

  “Oh, I don’t want to talk about it. I want our reunion to be fun. What’s been happening with you?”

  I studied her for a minute. I didn’t really want to let it go, but I could tell that she didn’t want to talk about it just yet.

  “I do have some news.” I smiled.

  “What is it?” Stephanie asked.

  “Remember how you always used to tell me that Max and I were meant to be together?”

  “Yes—because you are. You’re like peanut butter and jelly—just need some bread to smash you together.”

  “Well I guess we found our bread.” I laughed.

  “What? Really?” Stephanie squealed. “That’s amazing! When did this happen?”

  “About a year ago.” I felt a little guilty for waiting so long to tell her.

  “A year? Samantha!” She looked as if she was about to lecture me, but the waitress interrupted us.

  Once we’d ordered our food, Stephanie crossed her arms.

  “How am I the last person to know?”

  “I’m sorry. I’ve just been so busy. I quit my job, became a writer, had a book published…”

  “Now that I knew. I read it and it’s fantastic!”

  “Thank you. I can’t believe that you read it.”

  “Of course I did. Samantha, I’m proud of you for following your heart. Is there a chance of a wedding in the future?” Stephanie teased.

  “I think there will be.” I smiled. “I mean, we have talked about it a little.”

  “Oh wow. This is so exciting! I can’t wait to see you as a bride. Are you going to do a big wedding or a small one?”

  “Wait, wait.” I laughed. “I can’t think about that yet. He hasn’t even proposed.”

  “Ah, what’s he dragging his feet for? It’s not like you guys hav
en’t known each other forever.”

  “I honestly don’t know. I keep waiting, but he doesn’t seem interested just yet—and that’s okay. No need to rush.”

  Stephanie offered a sympathetic nod. She knew me pretty well too, and I was sure that she could see the disappointment in my expression.

  “Well, whenever he gets around to it, I definitely want to be there. So let me know!”

  “I will of course. But what about you? We’ve only been talking about me. I want to know what’s happening in your life.” I finished the last of my burrito and sipped my water. I sat back and waited to hear all of the glorious things that Stephanie had been up to.

  “Well, I’m afraid it’s not as pleasant as your news. Actually, I almost got married.”

  “What? And you didn’t tell me?”

  “It was a whirlwind type of romance. You know, like the kind you read about in books or watch at the movies—girl meets boy, they fall madly in love and live happily ever after.

  “That’s not what happened, I take it?”

  “At first it was. Dylan and I met at the grocery store, of all places, so that made it seem even more meant to be. We dated and hit it off really well. It seemed like we both wanted the same things, and honestly, Samantha, it felt as if I’d been waiting to meet him my entire life. He made me feel different than any man ever had. He was wild and spontaneous. He woke me up to the fact that life could be fun.”

  “So what happened?” I tried to be gentle, but I was genuinely curious. It sounded like Stephanie had met her perfect match.

  “Well, he proposed. I was over the moon and of course said yes. He wanted to go right down to a drive-through chapel and get married. As much as I admired his sense of adventure, I thought that was a little too crazy. So we moved in together first. It wasn’t long before I figured out that most of his wildness came from keeping himself well lubricated.”

  “Huh?” I raised an eyebrow.

  “I mean, he took a drink first thing in the morning. He drank on his way to work, he drank at lunch, he drank on the way home from work—it was nonstop all day. Don’t get me wrong, he was never really drunk—I guess he’d developed a tolerance for it—but he always had to have something to drink.”

  “Wow.” My eyes widened. “I can’t believe that someone could live like that.”

  “Me either. To be honest with you, Sam, I was going to work with it. I thought—okay, we all have flaws—I’ll just talk to him about his drinking and that will be that. But when I brought it up, he got really defensive. We had a horrible fight. He said things to me that I could never have imagined him saying. So, I ended it. Maybe he woke me up to the fun in life, but I wasn’t about to tolerate being treated like that.”

  “Good for you, Steph. I mean, not that you had to go through that, but that you were able to get yourself out of it.”

  “It was heartbreaking.” Stephanie sighed.

  “Wow, I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you during that difficult time.”

  Chapter 4

  My heart ached for Stephanie. I remembered how painful it had been for me when I thought that Blue—who I now knew was Max—had rejected me.

  “It’s okay. I know you would have been there if I’d reached out. It was something I had to handle by myself. But now it’s over and we have happy news to celebrate. You, Max, and I should get together some time.”

  “I would love that.” A sensation of peace settled within me. I hadn’t even realized how much I’d missed Stephanie’s being part of my life until we were together again. “Thanks, Stephanie.” I reached across the table and patted the back of her hand. “Don’t let that one bad experience turn you off. Your great love is out there.”

  “Maybe.” She shrugged. “I’m not sure that I believe in that any more.”

  Her words hurt my heart. I knew that she had a right to be angry, but to give up on love altogether was a depressing notion. I had been there before myself.

  “Sometimes it doesn’t matter if you believe in it or not, it happens upon you anyway.”

  “Anything can happen, right?” Stephanie brightened. “Should we split a dessert?”

  I was prepared to say no until I saw flan on the menu. “Okay, just this once.” I grinned.

  After we shared our dessert we walked out to the parking lot together. She paused beside her car and turned to look at me.

  “Samantha, I’ve really missed you.”

  “I’ve missed you too. Why don’t we do something together this weekend—all three of us?”

  “Are you sure? I don’t want to be a third wheel.” She shook her head.

  “I’m absolutely sure. Max would love to see you.”

  “Okay, great! Send me a text and let me know when and where.”

  “Will do!” I hugged her close. It felt good to have my girlfriend back. “I promise.”

  “See you soon, Samantha.” She waved to me as she climbed into her car.

  I walked across the parking lot to my own car. As soon as I reached it, my phone began to ring. I laughed and answered it.

  “Stephanie, do you miss me already?”

  “Stephanie?” Max asked.

  “Oh, Max! I thought you were Stephanie.”

  “Okay. Why?” He laughed.

  “I just had lunch with her. Can you believe it’s been over a year since I’ve seen her?”

  “Wow, I didn’t realize it had been that long.”

  “I invited her to do something with us this weekend.”

  “Us?”

  I was a little surprised by his reluctant tone. “Sure, why not?”

  “Well, uh, it might be a little awkward is all, since we dated.”

  “Max, if I had to avoid everyone you’ve ever dated, I’d probably have to head for Canada.”

  “Hey!” He laughed again. “You really think I was that much of a player, huh?”

  “I’m just saying that it might be difficult.” I giggled as I got into the car. “Besides, we were all friends before, we can all be friends again. Don’t you think?”

  “I guess you’re right. If it’s what you want, it’s what I want.”

  “Oh, is that so?”

  “Maybe.” He sensed danger.

  “I’ll have to remember that.”

  “Oh, boy.”

  “Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle.” I laughed as I hung up the phone.

  Max and I had the best relationship I’d ever experienced. I never felt like I had to be a certain way to please him. There’d been none of that having to get comfortable with one another difficulty in our romantic relationship, because we were already comfortable with each other. He knew my sense of humor so well that I had to try to come up with new material.

  The only thing I couldn’t offer Max was a surprise.

  After leaving the restaurant, I headed to the grocery store to pick up some things. As I was walking through the store, I noticed how I wasn’t even drawn to the foods that I used to crave so much. Maybe it was because my life was happier or maybe it was because I had been eating a healthy diet. Either way it felt nice to march right past them.

  As I loaded my grocery cart with fruits and vegetables, I noticed the man at the deli counter looking in my direction. Since I’d begun feeling more confident about how I looked, I’d recognized people noticing me more. Maybe they had before as well, and I just hadn’t seen it.

  I decided to ignore the attention and headed to the next aisle. I was a few aisles from the end of the store when I heard footsteps behind me. I stopped and glanced over my shoulder. It was the man from the deli counter. Now I felt a little uncomfortable. Why was he following me around?

  “Are you Samantha?” he asked.

  I shivered a little. I had done some online dating before things heated up between Max and me. Could this be one of the men that I’d turned down? How else would he know my name?

  “Why?” I stared at him.

  “I just need to know if you’re Samantha.”

  �
�And if I am?”

  He sighed. “Look, I’m not playing any games, I just need to know.”

  Chapter 5

  I narrowed my eyes. The man seemed rather pushy about knowing who I was. I was starting to feel very uncomfortable.

  “I have Mace.” I raised an eyebrow.

  “No, you don’t.”

  “What? Yes, I most certainly do and I’m not afraid to use it.”

  He shook his head. “I don’t think you will be able to.”

  “Listen, I don’t know who you are, or why you know my name, but I am a happily almost-engaged woman and I don’t welcome your attention. So either leave me alone or I will use it.”

  He laughed. He actually laughed. I was stunned.

  “Go ahead.” He smirked.

  “Okay, I will!” I reached into my basket to get my purse only to find that it wasn’t there. “What?” I stared at the empty spot.

  “You dropped your purse near the bananas. One of the clerks brought it to me. I thought it was you from your driver’s license, but—uh—you look pretty different.”

  I cringed. My driver’s license picture was from about fifty pounds ago. He continued, “I didn’t want to tell you I had it because you could lie and say it was yours when it wasn’t. You know?”

  I was mortified as I processed what he’d said. In my overreacting mind, I already had him cast as a psychotic stalker looking for love.

  He tilted his head toward the end of the aisle. “It’s up at the deli counter, but now I’m a little afraid to give it to you. You’re not going to Mace me, are you?”

  “No.” I frowned. “Sorry about that.”

  “It’s alright. It’s good to know how to defend yourself. I’ll go get it for you.”

  “That’s alright. I’ll go with you. I need some meat anyway.”

  “Okay.” He fell into step beside me. As we reached the counter he looked over at me. “So what exactly is almost engaged, anyway?”

  “Never mind. Can I just have my purse?”

  He laughed and grabbed it from behind the counter. Once he handed it over, I remembered to be polite.

  “Thank you.”

  “No problem. Just promise me that you won’t Mace me the next time you see me.”