“Max, why did you do that?”
“I thought we were having fun.” He frowned. “Food fight?”
“Not in my bakery!” An older man with sharp blue eyes glared at Max from behind the counter. “Clean that mess up, young man, or I won’t be baking any cakes for you.”
Will cringed. “I guess I should have warned you. Alonzo can be a little picky about who he bakes for.”
“Max!” I reached for a napkin in the same moment that Max did. Our hands bumped together and we knocked a plate of cake onto the floor.
“Out!” Alonzo shouted. “How dare you waste my delicious cake? Out with you both!”
“Alonzo, please. It was an accident! I will make it up to you. I will!” Will pleaded with him.
“Out, I said!” Alonzo pointed to the door.
“I think we better listen.” Max handed me the napkin.
I couldn’t even speak, I was so angry.
Chapter 22
I wiped the cake off my face as we walked out of the bakery.
Max laughed and kissed my cheek. “Mm, tasty.”
“Max, it’s not funny!” I threw my napkin at him.
“Sure it is.” Max laughed again. “You should see your face right now.”
“I don’t want to see it! I wanted to pick out a cake for our wedding! You couldn’t be mature long enough for us to do that!” The words flew out of my mouth. I didn’t mean them—at least I didn’t think I did—but they just kept coming out.
“Can you lower your voice, Sammy?” Max narrowed his eyes. My shouts had drawn a few onlookers.
“I won’t! I’m working so hard to make this wedding happen, and you’re acting like it’s just a game!”
“I am not!”
“No? What about the honeymoon, Max? Have you even planned it yet?”
“It’s a surprise.”
“Oh yeah, I bet. Surprise, we’re going to Motel 6 because I forgot to make reservations! Ha ha!”
“Sammy! Is that what you really think—that I’m some kind of irresponsible jerk?”
“Well, did we pick out a cake?”
“You started it!”
“I got dizzy!”
“Probably because of those crazy diets that you’ve been on! I told you that was a bad idea!”
“Max, take me home right now!”
“Gladly.” He marched over to the car and jerked open my door for me. Will stared, like a deer in headlights, as I stomped after him.
“Uh, guys, we still need to talk about the cake!”
We both slammed the car doors shut at the same time. Max started the car and backed out of the parking lot.
Neither of us spoke as he drove toward my apartment. Every little sound he made bugged me. I wanted to reach out and pinch his nose shut to stop him from breathing. I wanted to flick him in the cheek to get him to stop clenching his teeth. He had no right to be mad. He was the one that had ruined the cake tasting.
“Here.” He parked in front of my apartment. He didn’t move to get out of the car or look at me.
“Max, we should talk about this.”
“I don’t want to talk about it, Sammy. I think you made it very clear what your opinion is of me. Here I thought you knew me better than anyone else, but it turns out, you don’t know me at all.” He reached across me and popped open my door. “Bye, Sammy.”
I took a sharp breath in. Max had never been so rude to me. My heart started to race.
“Max, we should really talk this out.”
“Not now. I need to be alone.”
“Max—”
“Sammy, I don’t want to hear anything more about how you need to lose weight, or these wild diets, or how there isn’t enough time left before the wedding. Please. I just need some time away from all of this craziness.”
I stared at him with disbelief. Did he just call me crazy?
My nostrils flared. My hands balled into fists. I got out of the car before I said anything I’d regret. I stormed into my apartment and slammed the door shut. Then I turned around to face it.
I was sure that Max would follow after me. He would be there any second to apologize for the way he’d talked to me. I just knew it.
After five minutes I walked over to the window to check the parking lot. His car was gone. The realization of what had happened hit me so hard that I landed on the couch, feeling as if all my breath had just left my body. My face grew hot.
“What just happened?” I stared at my hands. They were shaking and still smeared with frosting. “Is the wedding off?”
I grabbed my phone and called Stephanie. Through my sobs, I told her what had happened.
“Wait, you started a food fight with Max? And he got mad?”
“No! It was a misunderstanding. And I got mad! I mean, I really lost it—and then so did he.”
“Samantha, it’s okay. I’m sure once he cools off he’ll call to apologize.”
“No, I don’t think he will.” I sniffed. “He was so upset. He said I didn’t know him at all! Why would he want to marry someone who doesn’t know him at all?”
“He was just upset—just like you were. Fights are going to happen now and then.”
“But why are we fighting so much before the wedding? I don’t like this. What if he’s finally had it with me? What if he decides to cancel the wedding?” I moaned into the phone.
“I know why you’re upset, but you have to get control of yourself. Ever since you started dieting, your moods have been a little wild.”
“So it’s my fault!”
“No, that’s not what I’m saying, Sammy. It’s just that I’ve seen a big change in you ever since the dress fitting. Maybe this is a sign that you need to get back in touch with yourself a little more.”
I sighed. “Maybe. I have been a bit of a loose cannon.”
“Alright, so why not do something that helps you to calm down?”
“You’re right. I should take a meditation class. I’ll see when there’s one I can go to.”
“Good. Everything will be fine. You’ll see.”
After I hung up with Stephanie my tears stopped falling so fast. I wiped at my eyes. I’d planned to make Max a delicious vegetarian meal, but I guessed he wasn’t interested in that now. I decided to prepare it anyway for myself.
While my assortment of vegetables steamed on the stove, I checked my computer for the next available meditation class. It wasn’t until the next afternoon. I signed up for it, then decided to check my blog.
I updated my readers with the information about the new diet I was trying. Then I wrote about how diet can affect your moods. As I posted the update, I smelled something strange. All of a sudden I remembered the vegetables on the stove.
“Oh no!” I jumped up and ran for the stove. The vegetables that I intended to steam to a perfect crisp were a pile of mush. I turned down the heat and tried to grab the pan off the stove.
“Ouch!” The handle was hot. As I dropped the pan back down on the stove there was a knock on the door.
Chapter 23
I rinsed my hand in the sink to cool it off and then ran for the door. I jerked it open.
“Sammy.” Max leaned against the side of the door.
“Max.” I frowned. My hand still throbbed.
“I’m sorry.”
“So am I.”
“Can I come in?”
I nodded and stepped back from the door. He looked at my red palm. “What happened?”
“Oh, I grabbed the handle of the pan without a potholder. I’m okay.”
He frowned and took a closer look. “I can’t believe the way I talked to you. I’m really sorry, Sammy.”
“I’m sorry too, Max. I overreacted about the cake. You were just trying to have fun.”
“I should have realized that you didn’t mean to get the cake on me. I just thought, maybe fun Sammy was back.” He cringed. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“No, you’re right.” I sighed. “I haven’t been much fun l
ately. I’m sorry.”
“No, you’re right. I haven’t been pulling my weight with the wedding.”
“Max, I just want us to be happy.” I looked into his eyes. “Are we okay?”
He smiled. “We’re always going to be okay. I’m sorry if I made you feel any different.”
“I promise I’ll try to be more fun.”
“You are fun.” He kissed my forehead. “I just want you to be happy. That’s all I want.”
“I am.” I smiled at him.
“Good. I’m going to go, okay.”
I started to offer him dinner, then I remembered the mush I’d made. “Okay. I love you, Max.”
“I love you too.” He kissed me.
After he left I sat down with my vegetable mush. My mind still flitted from possibility to possibility. Were Max and I really okay?
I feasted on vegetables all day the next day. I wanted to make sure that I ate as many healthy greens as I could. I hoped that the good nutrition would balance out what the less healthy diets had done to me.
By the time I left for the meditation class I’d eaten half of the groceries I bought.
As I stepped into the meditation space I was flooded with a sense of peace. It had been so long since I meditated. I realized that was a big part of what was missing from my life.
Not long after I’d arrived, six other people filed in. One in particular drew my attention. I thought she was stunning. Her tall and slender figure made her look sculpted. Her movements were graceful and smooth. Her plain features had a peaceful glow. I watched as she walked to the center of the room and sat down.
The entire time that the teacher led us through the guided meditation, I was distracted by the presence of the woman. I felt drawn to her—similar to what I’d felt with Stephen.
At some point my mind drifted enough that I could relax. The wildness of my emotions became very clear. I’d let everything get out of control. All of my beliefs about myself had become colored with doubts—all because my dress hadn’t fit. I did my best to release the thoughts and emotions.
When I surfaced from my meditation, my stomach cramped. My eyes widened. All of the vegetables I’d eaten seemed to be having a less than ideal impact on my digestive system. I gulped as I wondered if it was going to be a repeat of my recent yoga class.
I opened my eyes to see the woman in the center of the room. She was so perfect and peaceful. I hoped I wouldn’t let one rip and ruin the moment. She spoke to the teacher for a few minutes and then walked toward the door.
I stood up carefully. I didn’t want to risk any spontaneous explosions. Once I was on my feet I made my way toward her. I was quite curious about her.
I caught up with her at the door of the room. “Excuse me, can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.” She smiled at me.
“I don’t mean to sound rude or crazy, but I’m trying to lose weight for my wedding and I noticed how thin you are. Is there a special diet that you follow?” I bit my lip and hoped that she wouldn’t be offended.
“Oh, I’m a breathatarian.”
“A what?”
“I breathe to satiate my hunger—and to keep my body in a spiritual state.”
“You don’t eat anything at all?” I frowned. I hated to think of this beautiful woman stuck in the throes of an eating disorder.
“Oh no, I do eat. I saw a health consultant who told me the minimum amount of calories I need to eat each day to remain healthy. I eat that, and if I get hungry at other times, I just breathe through the hunger until it’s gone. You see, our body yearns for more than just food. Many times it just needs a little oxygen boost.”
“Wow, that’s really interesting.”
“Might be something to try. But it’s really a lifestyle, not a diet.”
“Do you think you could show me a few techniques?”
She looked at me for a long moment. “I don’t know.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude.”
“No, it’s not that. I just don’t want you to overdo it. It’s something you have to be careful about when you’re just starting out.”
“I will be. I promise.”
“Alright, I’ll teach you a few things. But if you start to feel dizzy or lightheaded, then you have to stop, okay?”
“Okay.”
She demonstrated the long deep breath that was used to sustain the body. It amazed me that she could involve so many of her muscles in breathing. As she exhaled all of the muscles relaxed.
“You pair it with a visualization of your mind and body being nourished. It’s important to remember that this is about spiritual nourishment, not starving yourself.”
“I’ll remember. Thank you so much for taking the time to show me.”
“No problem. Good luck.” She waved to me as she left the class.
Chapter 24
As I walked out the door I tried to take the deep breath that the woman had shown me. It wasn’t until my belly started to stretch that I remembered my little vegetable problem. I released the air in a burst through my nose and waddled across the parking lot to my car—okay, waddling may be a strong word to describe it, but it’s sure how I felt.
I’d just made it to the door, when all of the gas escaped me in one long loud explosion. I even burped at the same time. I looked around to see if anyone had heard. The perfect woman was already gone.
I sighed with relief and opened the door to my car.
“Uh, Sammy?”
I spun around fast and found Max behind me. He stood a few feet away—and then took one more step back.
“Sorry to startle you. Stephanie said that you’d be here.” He cleared his throat.
My heart pounded. Had he heard the epic flatulence?
“Are you feeling okay?”
“Peaceful. Very peaceful.” My eyes spread wide.
“Oh?”
I could tell he was trying not to smile.
“You heard it, didn’t you?”
“Maybe.”
“Oh my god.”
“Don’t worry about it, Sammy—it’s just a bodily function.”
“Now I’m fat and flatulent; just great.”
“Sammy, you’re not fat.” He rolled his eyes. “I thought you were over that?”
“Why are you here?”
“I wanted to take you to dinner.”
I thought about how gassy I still felt and my desire to experiment with breathing instead of eating.
“I don’t think I’m up for it tonight, Max.”
“Okay.” He shrugged and shoved his hands into his pockets. “I guess I’ll be going then.”
“Max—”
“It’s fine. You have your fitting for the dress at the end of the week, right?”
“Yes.” I cringed. I couldn’t believe it was already time.
“Do you want me to go with you?”
“You know it’s bad luck to see me in the dress before the wedding.”
“I don’t believe in any of that. If you need my support, I’ll be there.”
“I’ll be fine. Stephanie is going with me.”
“Okay, good.” He leaned in and gave me a quick kiss. “Night. You might wanna roll your car windows down.”
“Max!”
He walked away laughing.
Over the next few days I did my best to breathe instead of eat. I stuck to my green food for my base calories and then breathed like crazy when I craved more food. At first it was very difficult, but as the hours passed, it became easier. I enjoyed focusing on my breath and refreshing my mind with beautiful visualizations.
I did feel a little dizzy pretty much all of the time, though—hint: do not try this yourself!
The morning of the dress fitting, I woke up with a sense of dread. The day had come. I felt sick to my stomach as I waited for Stephanie to pick me up. I didn’t even want to think about putting the dress on. I could tell from my belly—and from the numbers on the scale—that I wasn’t going to fit into it.
It broke my heart to think that I’d have to let it out. I wondered if I’d need to have it let out even more—was it possibly that I’d actually gained weight since my last fitting?
When Stephanie knocked on the door I opened it with a frown and drooped shoulders.
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t think the dress is going to fit.”
“So, she’ll let it out. No big deal.” Stephanie smiled.
I knew that she was trying to make me feel better. But it wasn’t going to work.
“You know what you need? The perfect outfit to wear.” She walked past me to my bedroom.
I sighed as she began searching through my closet.
“What I wear today isn’t going to matter, Stephanie.”
“Trust me.” She spent a few more minutes searching around, then she pulled out a sundress. “This is it.”
“Alright.” I shook my head and took the dress.
“Go change.” She shooed me toward the bathroom.
When I came back out she still had her head in my closet.
“What are you doing?”
“Oh, sorry, it’s just you have some great pieces in here. I’ll have to borrow something some time.”
I smiled at her words. That did make me feel a little better. “Let’s go get this over with.”
When we arrived at the boutique, Gail greeted us at the door. “Hello, beautiful ladies.” She smiled.
“Hi, Gail.” I couldn’t quite look at her. “I guess we better try the dress on again.”
“Listen, Samantha, I might have made a mistake, but I can fix it if I did.”
She seemed very nervous, which in turn made my heart pound with dread even more than it already was.
“What is it, Gail?”
“Well, I got a little confused and thought you wanted me to go ahead and let the dress out. So I did. Then I realized that we were supposed to have one more fitting before I did that. I’m so sorry.”
I frowned. “It’s okay. I wasn’t going to fit into it anyway.”
Stephanie gave me a half-hug. “Let’s see it on you!”
I tried to muster up some enthusiasm.
Chapter 25
As I changed into the dress, it did feel much more comfortable. I walked out of the dressing room.
Single Wide Female in Love Complete Bundle: Books 1-4 Page 26