The Hotwife Strikes Back!

by Raven Merlot

  Chapter 5

  Jules

  I couldn’t sit still for the last ten minutes of driving home. It was dead quiet in the car, and I couldn’t stand it. I wanted to say something but I had no idea what, so I turned on the radio instead. I still felt uncomfortable.

  Wade shifted gears and I followed his hand. It was a hideous shade of blue, red, and a little yellow. There was a thin cut on his middle finger’s knuckle. That was my fault. I heard him punch something last night. I felt a twinge of satisfaction, then my gut wrenched and a horrible feeling settled in the pit of my stomach, ready to stay for a while. Not that it made much of a difference. This was just a teeny tiny drop in the ocean of guilt that now consumed my life. It was almost all I ever felt anymore. Guilt and regret and anger. My anger was still the strongest and most vicious, but the others weren’t that far behind in the race.

  I still didn’t say anything when we got home, and Wade opened the car door for me. Ever the perfect gentleman. Ha! Wade took my hand and helped me get out, then grabbed our luggage and walked with me to the front door. Him being so nice and gentlemanly and doing typical husband stuff somehow pissed me off. I was trying to figure out exactly why when I heard a soft thud as Wade dropped his luggage. I looked up and saw the mess through the open door. There was shattered glass and porcelain and broken stuff all over the floor, in between every single scatter cushion I owned. There were a few things strewn across the floor. I’d really done a number on the place. Especially after I read that horrid letter. I stepped over the dirt and dead remains of the potted plants I’d kicked over and nearly laughed at myself when I realized that the only thing I felt was irritation because I forgot to organize with Kim to water the plants.

  “Oh, fuck. I don’t need this right now.” Wade sounded more helpless and tired than angry. I followed him inside as he turned to assess the damage and dug in his pocket for his phone.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Calling the cops.”

  “Why?” Wade looked at me like I was some petulant child asking stupid questions just to annoy him. He sighed.

  “To report this, like people are supposed to when there’s been a break in.” I stared at him blankly. Then wanted to punch myself for not warning him. Not that I could have since I’d forgotten all about it. I grabbed his phone just as he was about to press the call button.

  “This… this wasn’t a break in.” I couldn’t quite meet his eyes.

  “What do you mean? What else could have happened to the house?” I felt so embarrassed.

  “It was me,” I said, barely above a whisper. There was a long silence as I squared my shoulders and prepared myself for when Wade would explode.

  And explode he did.

  “What the fuck, Julie?” He was so loud I could practically feel his voice making the glass under my feet vibrate. “Seriously! After all you’ve put me through, you do this.” He wasn’t so loud anymore, but I could still see the anger radiating out of him. My own anger started to rear its head again a little.

  “Actually, I did this before I did everything else.” My voice was tight and hard and quiet as I slammed the door behind me.

  “That doesn’t matter. You’re pissed at me. I get that. And even though it’s completely ridiculous, you sleeping with other men makes a little sense. Give me a taste of my own medicine, or something. But this?” He gestured to the mess around us. “This is just petty.” That last sentence was one step too far, and I snapped.

  “Petty?” I screeched. “This isn’t petty. I will admit that I was a bit petty when I chose the first guy to sort of look a little like you, but this here is as far from petty as you can get.” Wade actually snorted at me.

  “If destroying my home isn’t petty, then what is it?”

  “Anger.” The word came out as a growl and I must have looked raving mad, because Wade took a step back as I came toward him. “This is a direct result of what you did!” Wade opened his mouth to say something, but I didn’t give him the chance. “When I found out you were cheating three days before our wedding, three days god damn you, I was in shock. I couldn’t quite believe what was as clear as daylight in front of me. And then it was the last night and I was alone and I finally broke and got angry. Then I found that horrid letter and things got worse.”

  “So you lashed out and destroyed everything? That’s absurd. What normal person would react like that?”

  “You would!” I sobbed just as I screamed at him. “Kim would. My mom and dad would. Anyone would. How else is someone supposed to react when you suddenly realize that you aren’t enough for the one person who means the world to you and then discover that the best thing that ever happened to you and would make the world perfect was a lie?” Tears were running down my cheeks, but I didn’t care. Suddenly, all my anger was gone and I was left feeling empty and tired and alone.

  And hurt. So, so very hurt. My knees collapsed and I sank to the floor, sobbing.

  “A stupid lie, just so you could get some more money.” Even my voice sounded weak. Wade crouched next to me, put his arms around my trembling shoulders, and kissed my hair. I didn’t push him away, but I hated it. Hated that his embrace felt so warm and comforting.

  “How did you expect me to react, Wade? Did you think I would just sit down and take it when you told me? Or were you planning on just keeping quiet and finding some stupid reason to divorce me after our first anniversary?” Wade started to rock me from side to side.

  “Shh, love. Don’t cry. I was never going to get a divorce.” I sniffled and wiped at my eyes with my sleeve.

  “Of course you were. Why would you bother staying with me once you got your money?” I don’t know why, but for some reason Wade holding me like that planted a seed of hope in my heart and I desperately clung to it.

  “Because I love you, with all my heart, and I want to spend my life with you.”

  “Then why?” There it was. The big question that weighed like a mountain on my shoulders and kept me awake at night. “Why wasn’t I enough for you? Why did you go to other women as well?”

  The room grew deafeningly quiet as I waited for Wade to give me an answer.

  He didn’t.

  He didn’t even try. My tears began to dry as my hope faded, leaving me feeling cold and tired again. I pushed Wade off me, got up, and went to get our luggage. Wade wordlessly took the bigger bag and followed me to the bedroom.

  “So what happens now?” he asked quietly. I put the bag down.

  “What happens now is I’m going to make coffee and we’re going to clean this mess. And then I’m going to call Leonard and invite him to come over tonight after dinner.” I watched Wade pale considerably and couldn’t quite believe he was so horrified.

  “But… but we’re home again. It’s over now.”

  “You didn’t think six measly days would make up for almost four years of cheating on me, did you?” I tried to put a note of sarcasm and scorn into my voice, but it came out emotionless and monotone. I sounded like the kids in class when they had to read out loud.

  “But he’s married. To Winona.”

  I met Wade’s eyes for the first time since we got home. “Yes, he is.”

  I went to the kitchen then and left Wade gaping in our bedroom. He didn’t come after me. That was the final straw. Even as I put on the kettle and pulled two mugs out of the cupboard, I felt that little seed of hope wither and die, and the ground where it had been planted turn to cold, hard stone.

  Chapter 6

  Wade

  Two weeks. We’d been home for two fucking weeks and I was still not getting used to it. Watching Jules with other men was horrible. Watching her with people I actually knew was worse. Tonight, she was with Richard. That was almost the worst of all. Not because he was a billionaire playboy, not because he was one of the most attractive guys in town, or because of the rumors about him with the ladies. Not even because he’s an old college buddy of Jules whom she used to have a crush on. What made me absolutely ha
te him was that he was the first guy Jules brought home more than once.

  I glared daggers at Richard when Jules invited him to our dinner table, and all he did was smirk, and all throughout dinner he kept making those stupid puns of his. He didn’t shut up either. The first time he stopped talking tonight was when he started eating out my wife as she sat on his face. Jules made sure they were at an angle where I could see exactly what he was doing.

  He started by gently kissing up her thighs starting at the inside of her knees, switching from one to the other, taking his damned time getting Jules worked up. By the time he reached the spot where her legs met, Julie was already squirming like crazy. I felt the now familiar flare of anger shoot through me when he licked between her folds with the flat of his tongue. Then he started to fuck his tongue into Jules and she let a moan escape her lips.

  “So wet,” he mumbled. I tried my best not to envy Richard’s technique. The bastard knew what he was doing. I glowered at him even as I started to feel a bit of sweat running down my back. It was a surprisingly hot day for this time of year.

  A sudden grunt drew my attention to Jules, and I nearly fell off the chair when I saw her taking his dick into her mouth.

  Fucking bastard! Jules and I never used the sixty-nine position before, and I was fantasizing about it for so long. How dare that bastard take that first from me? I wanted to get up and break something, preferably him, but a glare from Jules warned me not to, so I settled myself more comfortably in the chair, resigned to my fate. It took much too long for my taste before Jules pulled herself off of Richard and shooed him off the bed so she could take his place there. He settled himself between her legs, grabbed her under her knees, and lifted her hips to his waist. He aligned himself with her entrance and had the audacity to turn and wink at me before he started pushing in. Jules grunted at his size and hooked her legs around his waist and pulled him closer. He leaned in to give her a deep kiss as he began to thrust. He set a slow, hard pace, pulling out almost all the way out and shaking Jules’ entire body every time he thrust back in. I couldn’t watch that kiss. It hurt too much. I missed kissing Jules. Sure, there were a few friendly pecks when there was an audience and we had to keep up appearances, but the last time we had a proper kiss that actually meant something was that glorious second night on our honeymoon. I looked away until the kiss was over and the bastard moved on to play with her nipples. Despite myself, I watched where their bodies met. There was something almost hypnotic about the slow, sure movement.

  Thrust. Pull. Thrust. Pull. Thrust…

  Even when he was beginning to speed up I couldn’t avert my eyes. And I couldn’t stop listening to the sounds Jules was making. Despite my anger and depression and this whole damned situation, I was beginning to feel something. I could feel myself getting hard, and that terrified me. How could I be turned on by watching someone else fuck my wife? It had to be Jules. She was sexy as hell bundled up in winter clothes. Seeing her naked would turn any healthy man my age on. And besides, I hadn’t had any type of action at all in nearly a month now. Yes, that had to be it.

  A low, deep grunt pulled me away from my thoughts just in time for me to see Richard cum inside my wife. I still hated seeing that. I just sat there and watched as he pulled out and began to gather his clothes. I did decide to do play the good host and walked with the two of them to the front door. He turned and smiled at the two of us.

  “Thank you both for all the fun, Julie, Wade.” I just grunted and Jules gave him a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. And then he was gone.

  We were both in bed by the time I could get myself to talk to Jules.

  “He’s an arrogant ass, isn’t he?” I mumbled. “Rubbing it in my face like that.” Jules smiled half-heartedly at me.

  “Oh, don’t be mad at him. He thinks this was as much as your idea as mine, and all your angry grumbling and moaning was a little role-play.” That actually made sense.

  “Still, you don’t just go around thanking a guy for letting you fuck his wife. It’s rude.”

  “He wasn’t thanking you for that. He was thanking you for watching.” I had no idea how to reply. The idea was so foreign and strange that it left me gaping like a fish. Jules laughed. The first genuine laughed I’d heard from her in ages.

  “Richard is a born entertainer and loves the spotlight. He was absolutely thrilled to have an audience for whom he could put on a show.” I stared at her, utterly gobsmacked.

  “There is something wrong with that man,” was all I could think of saying.

  “Oh, exhibitionism is a legitimate kink. You’d be surprised how many people are into that. And then you have your voyeurs of course, who love watching.”

  “How do you know this stuff?”

  Jules smiled at me. “I used to read a lot of erotic fan fiction before I met you.” I took some time to let that sink in.

  “He must be good if you brought him back for more.” Jules stared at me blankly, then understood what I meant.

  “Oh, it’s not like that. You’ll be seeing Leonard, Jason, Gill, Sebastian, and Frank again soon enough, and I’m not bringing anyone new into the fold. Six men are more than enough, and with the ones I had in Hawaii, that comes down to a good number, don’t you think?”

  Five. Jules had been with five men on that blasted island. That made…

  “Eleven.”

  Jules looked me squarely in the eyes. “Yes. Eleven.”

  “Is that what all this is about?”

  “There’s more to it than that, but basically, yes.” I couldn’t believe this.

  “Jules, you asked me how many women I was with. I’ll admit it was a lot, and I realize how horribly I fucked up, but you wanted to know.”

  “I did. I was angry and surprised by how big that number was, but if I’m honest, I think I could have maybe moved past that eventually. The problem is that you told me when you did.” Jules stared at me, waiting for me to comprehend her implications. I didn’t.

  “Damn it, Wade,” she finally yelled at me. I could see silver lining her eyes, but she didn’t let any tears fall. “We were fixing things. I honestly thought you loved me and we could move past all this and be happy. After I came, I don’t think I ever felt as good as I did then, and then you came with that damned number of yours. You know what that tells me? It tells me that while I was having amazing sex with the man I loved, you were remembering each and every one of your other whores. At that moment, I felt so alone and betrayed and worthless.”

  “And now you’re betraying me to get even. Does it at least make you feel a little better?”

  “Of course not. I hate all of this. The tension between us, the sex, myself. All of it.”

  “Wait. You hate the sex. And it’s not about getting even.”

  “Yeah. It feels great and all, but I hate myself the whole time and emotionally it means nothing to me. It’s not even good enough to get me to cum anymore.” This stunned me. I thought Jules was having a ball.

  “Then why do you do this?” Jules gave me a long look. Probably considering if it was worth it to answer.

  “So we can both understand. I do what you did hoping I can understand why you did it, and I make you watch so maybe you can understand how I feel.” Jules turned off the bedside lamp, pulled the blanket over her shoulders, and turned her back on me. “But I guess neither of us is getting any closer to any form of clarity.”

  I lay in the darkness and quiet a while. “I wasn’t remembering those women as much as trying to forget them and how horrible I felt about what I did with them.” Jules didn’t move and I wasn’t sure if she was asleep or not. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, but one image kept floating in front of my eyes. Not one of Jules with someone else. I could sleep past those now. No. the image that haunted my every waking moment was Jules on her knees in our living room crying her heart out. Looking so lost and broken. I’d never seen her so miserable, and I never wanted to see something like that at ever again. I always knew cheating on
her was wrong and would upset her, but that moment was the first time I really realized how much I hurt her.

  “I know it won’t change anything, Jules.” I turned to face her, but her back was to me and her breathing was slow and deep. “But I’m sorry. I am so, so sorry. About all of it.”

  Chapter 7

  Jules

  I sat in my little alcove by the window, waiting for Wade to come home. The spot was still the same, but it felt completely different now. It wasn’t as warm or comforting as it used to be. I looked at the big brown envelope in my hands and went through our conversation last night. I’m sorry, he’d said, and I believed him. I don’t know why, but I did, and that meant something. So this morning I called the marriage office and asked some questions, and here I am. I wondered if I was doing the right thing, but I heard the car turn onto the gravel driveway. Too late now.

  I looked at the clock and saw it was an hour and a half earlier than he used to come home on Mondays. The same as last week. I fiddled with the envelope again as I listened to the door creak open. I let Wade take off his tie and jacket before I went to him.

  “Wade, I’m giving you a way out.” He didn’t say anything. He just looked at me.

  “Any way you look at this, neither of us is happy, and this can’t possibly be healthy. I’m tired of all of this, and I want it to stop, but things have gone too far for us to just put this behind us.” I could see Wade wanted to say something but I didn’t give him a chance to. I couldn’t risk stopping and letting my feelings make me change my mind.

  “I’ll keep doing what I’m doing now until you either decide to act on it or have your money, then I’m done. How you act depends on you, and will help determine what happens afterward. To help you decide, I’m giving you this.” I handed him the envelope. “I won’t be looking at it again until your birthday, so you’ll be safe until then. After that, I don’t know.” I watched Wade pull out and flip through the divorce papers. He was silent a long while.