by Alice Patron
From: [email protected]
Subject: Summer Plans
Date: April 6, 2016
Grandpa Bow-Tie,
You’re at least somewhat wealthy, right? What do you do when people ask you for money? I’m not wealthy, but I found myself in this position and probably did the wrong thing. I didn’t want to lie and say I didn’t have any money, so I gave some away. But now I'm angry that I saved it for so long and gave it to someone who spends everything they get. I would appreciate any advice you have.
Jemma and I were looking around for a place to live for the fall, and Lakelyn stopped by my room while we were talking. She asked why don't we stay there at her house. I had assumed she didn't really like me. Well, it will be easier to just stay where we are, and we can't beat the rent.
I’m thinking of doing summer classes. It will help me graduate early. I don’t know if the scholarship can cover spring and summer terms, but I’ll go check in with Mrs. Lippett at the scholarship office. I didn't get any of the jobs I applied for anyway, so I might as well be doing something productive.
P.s. I'm sorry I keep bothering you. I know you wish to remain anonymous. I promise I won't ask any more questions.
P.p.s. Am I your favorite scholarship recipient?
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Thank You Thank You Thank You
Date: April 8, 2016
Dear Scholarship Donor,
Thank you for finding me a summer job at Aspen Grove! They called yesterday to let me know they had a spot for me if I filled out an application. You have probably guessed, but I've never camped with my family. Well, not unless you count the time we slept in our broken-down Honda on the side of the freeway. That wasn't quite a lovely family camp with cabins and activities and mountains. Hopefully, I won't prove myself a complete nincompoop. Camping isn't, like, hard or anything, right?
I’m not too nervous; mostly just excited. Although I'm a little (okay a lot) self-conscious to know that someone is actually reading these emails. I hope I haven't written anything too...I don't know, inappropriate? Of course I have! I've turned a respectable, bow-tie wearing, generous donor into a pretend grandpa that I write all my drama to… except I wouldn't write to my grandpa about things that should only be in a diary. If it's any consolation, I'm blushing terribly just thinking of the impropriety! Or is it just Mrs. Lippett reading these overseas letters/emails? If so, I hope you aren’t offended by anything I’ve said, Mrs. Lippett. I don’t always pay close attention to my words before they pop out on the keyboard. Don’t worry, though, from here on out I will follow the instructions I was given from the beginning: write once a quarter about how my college education is preparing me to make a positive change in the world.
Sheepishly yours,
Jessie
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Thank You Thank You Thank You
Date: April 9, 2016
Jessie,
Mr. Bow Tie asked that I tell you that he prefers that you write as if no one is reading. He said he is planning to require all future recipients that he funds to write as if they are writing journal entries. You may write whatever you would like.
Mr. Bow Tie may have his eccentricities, but he never takes offense - his sense of humor doesn't allow it.
Jane Lippett
Office of Scholarships and Financial Aid
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: My Summer
Date: August 18, 2016
If I had to rank all the summers I’ve ever had from one to ten, ten being the summer when I was eleven and I was taller and faster than my obnoxious neighbor Evan, this summer would rank as a twenty two. I don’t even know where to begin. The job was amazing. I got paid (fairly well, I might add) to do crafts with some very adorable five-year-olds, go on group hikes, and occasionally to ride around on a four-wheeler and check to make sure the cabins were clean. I got to know some awesome people who came to the camp, and, get this, I got to spend four weeks with Will Pendleton! What a small world, right? He said he spends a month there every year with his family. Lakelyn and I got to know each other a little better, too. I didn’t know she liked the outdoors, but she was riding horses and hiking and everything. I guess she camped in the summer all through her growing up years, but now that her Grandpa gives a yearly donation to the camp, they have a cabin for them whenever they want. She was still upset when her nail broke on the saddle, though. That kind of sums up our friendship, I suppose: we have things in common, we are both really nice to each other, but those little differences keep popping up to remind us we aren't meant to be best friends.
Will and I, on the other hand, were pretty much inseparable anytime I wasn't on the clock. The first night they were there, Will pulled out some headlamps from his duffel and told me and Lakelyn to follow him. After about five minutes, Lakelyn couldn't handle all the bugs she could see on the trail (there really were tons), so we took her back to the cabin. Will said if I wasn't afraid of being alone with him, then we could still go. It was probably not the wisest decision I could have made to walk into the woods alone with a man at night, but it was definitely the funnest! We made it to a waterfall called Stewart Falls. It was beautiful and eerie at the same time. We sat there on the trail watching the falls while he told me a ghost story about a lost camper from the 60s who is still trying to find his way back to camp. By the time he finished the story I had goosebumps all over, but that could also have had something to do with the fact that I hadn't brought a jacket on our hike. We ran all the way back to the cabins so we wouldn't get too cold - and of course so the lost camper wouldn't catch up with us. We made it back around midnight.
Mondays were my free day, so the first Monday found the three of us dipping our feet into the freezing cold stream to see who could keep them in the longest. Lakelyn gave up pretty quickly and went to hang out with her mom and grandpa at the cabin. I secretly think Will was finding things to do that he knew Lakelyn wouldn't enjoy so that we could be alone together. But maybe I'm just flattering myself - after all, he never made a move or anything. I didn't think I was that unattractive.
On my third Monday off, Will told me I look like a grown-up Punky Brewster. I watched a heck of a lot of TV growing up, but amazingly, I didn't know that show, so we watched reruns of Punky Brewster for two hours in his cabin. Afterwards we roasted hot dogs over the fire and Will taught me and Lakelyn some camp songs. He doesn't have a bad voice. In fact, I can't think of one bad thing about him. He seems to know everything and do a little bit of everything.
He didn't know a lot about me, though, so he asked lots of questions. I'm not sure how he does it, but you can tell when you talk to him that he is interested in what you are saying. He made me feel so comfortable that I ended up telling him a lot about me. Like, the stuff I wrote about in my scholarship essay. I don't tell people that stuff. I'll mention to people that we didn't have a lot of money, or that my mom likes to drink, but I don't tell (until now) about how I was never hugged, how I would bring a pillow and blanket for my mom wherever she ended up passing out before she could make it to bed, how I got beat up by a couple of boys when I tried to defend my little brother because they said he was a loser with no friends. I told Will so much, but I didn't feel like he was judging me; I could tell he was just genuinely interested in understanding me on a deeper level. The only thing I do regret telling him is that I didn't have friends or go on dates in high school. I'm not sure I explained that it was because I didn't want anyone to see what my home was like. Hopefully he doesn't think I'm a total loser. I was asked out. I just said no.
Will, I'm sure, has lots of friends and goes on plenty of dates. He is the kindest, most genuine person. He likes to talk to people, to laugh, and to learn things. He has a part-time job doing something techy that I didn't understand. He sa
ys it pays well enough, and he likes the flexibility of working part time and choosing his hours. He lives in an apartment in LA, but he comes out to Utah often to stay at his dad's second house and to see how Lakelyn is doing. He said his dad has too much money and likes to spend it on airplane tickets for his family. It wouldn't be polite to ask, but I don’t think he loves that his dad pays for things for him. Will seems more like the type that would want to work for what he gets.
Even though he is her uncle, Will really pulls off the protective older brother role with Lakelyn. On our last day together at Aspen Grove, we went on a walk together. I thought he was going to hold my hand or tell me he wanted to see me again, but instead he told me he's worried about Lakelyn and asked me to watch out for her. At least he's a good uncle.
Anyway, it was the best summer of my life, and I decided to take a ski class because Will said we should go together sometime, but I have no idea how to ski and I'm sure he's really good at it and I don't want to make a fool of myself while he's flying down the mountain and I'm struggling to stand up in my skis. That was quite the run-on sentence. I'd better get back to school and get more education!
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Hey Mom
Date: September 20, 2016
Hey Mom,
Is your phone broken? I haven't heard from you and you haven't answered my calls. Everything okay?
I've been thinking about you and wondering how you are doing. Miss you!
One of my professors had us read a book that you might like. It's called Kicking Your Addiction. It's full of expert advice and background info about what causes addictions. I thought it was super informative and helpful. You should see if it's at the library. I'm sure you'll like it, too.
Love you,
Jess
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Hey Mom
Date: September 27, 2016
No offense, Jess, but you just don't get it. This isn't something I can just read about and it will solve all my problems. I hope you aren't trying to solve everyone's problems that you meet at college, because it comes off rude and like you think you are better than everyone.
Hunter is back home with me, so don't go calling Dave anymore for a report on your brother. I know you've got such a charmed life, but don't feel like you have to go fixing our problems. I'd rather live like I do now than be rich and educated and go around telling people how to live their lives.
As your mother I know the best thing is to tell you the truth.
Mom
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Hitting the Slopes
Date: December 3, 2016
Classes are hard. I'm sorry for skipping out on emails. I have been thinking about how I'm supposed to make a difference, though. The plan I wrote about in my essay - changing the world by starting with my own family - isn't working out. I try with Mom. I try with Hunter. Nothing is going to change. How do you make a difference when someone is never going to change?
One morning, a few days before leaving for college, my mom was complaining that her toe was hurting. She couldn't walk on it or anything. After a couple hours I convinced her to go to urgent care. Turns out, she had a sewing needle in her toe. Like, completely in it. She was so high the night before she didn't notice she stepped on a sewing needle!
My mom needs to fix her life, but she just won't accept it. Even after we got home from the clinic, she was complaining that I interfere too much in her life.
Now I'm getting trained and educated to help people just like my mom, but I still can't reach her. I'm trying to figure out a plan B. Don't give up on me yet. I, Jessie Ann Whiting, do hereby declare that I WILL make a difference in this world... Any ideas of how I should go about it if I can't even make a difference in my family?
Speaking of skiing (my English teacher didn't appreciate me using a transition like this in my last paper), guess who I saw while I was on the slopes yesterday? Will. What a small world! Though I'm not sure how he recognized me in all my gear. My psychology class got cancelled, and political science is over by nine, so I decided to take a day to ski. I was just getting in line for the lift when he spotted me. We rode a chair up together and talked the whole way. We were enjoying the ride so much that I didn't realize we had gone to the tippy top of the mountain and skipped right past the intermediate slope. I'm about done with my ski class, but I can't do black diamonds. Either I was hyperventilating quite obviously, or Will just knew somehow that I was a beginner. He showed me the easiest way down the mountain. I didn't do too terribly, except on two really steep sections. He stayed right underneath me on the scary parts, though. I slipped a few times, but he was right there to help me. I thought for sure he would ditch me after that, but he stuck with me the whole day, and we stayed on the intermediate slopes for the rest of the time. He bought me lunch at the ski lodge. Does that count as a date? It was starting to get dark and my legs were getting shaky by the time we finished. I apologized for making him stay on the easier slopes all day, but he said it was much more fun skiing with me than by himself. I hope that's true, because I loved skiing with him!
Isn't it funny to think of Jesse Whiting on the ski slopes? I'm so posh.
Now I need a bit of advice, dear Grandfather. What do I do if I really like someone, and he seems to like me, but he doesn't ever make a move? I feel a real connection to Will, but there is zero feeling of commitment from him. Is he not attracted even a teensy bit? He didn't so much as ask for my phone number. I've had his number in my phone since Aspen Grove when I borrowed Lakelyn’s phone to find it. Of course, I'll never be the first to call him. He's way above me, I'm afraid. But if he ever does call, I'll know who it is. I don't know, maybe I'm just an Adam McBride sort of girl and not quite up to the Will Pendleton level. Don't tell anyone I said that. Never rank your friends in order of quality. Plus, life would be comfortable with Adam.
At the end of the ski day, instead of riding the bus down the mountain, Will drove me home. I could tell something was on his mind because he was pretty quiet. I was quiet because I was exhausted, but he was the thinking kind of quiet. As we pulled up, he got all serious and asked me about Lakelyn. He asked lots of questions about when she wakes up, how much time she spends in her room, and how school is going for her. I had to admit I hadn't been keeping an eye out for her like I told him I would. I will do better.
P.s. I watched Mr. Smith Goes to Washington for extra credit in political science. I loved it but it was so dramatic. Were people that dramatic back then or was it just the movies? Or are you old enough to remember?
P.p.s. Adam’s last class on Mondays and Wednesdays ends at 3:00, so he waits around outside my classroom until I get out at 4:00, then he rides the bus home with me. Isn't that sweet? He has to walk a mile home from my house.
P.p.p.s.
Swishing through the snow with my fluffy snow pants
I fall on my face as Will makes it look like a dance
While he flies and he jumps and he zigs and he zags,
Tumbling down the bunny hill, my pole behind me drags
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: The Flu
Date: December 20, 2016
Dear Grandfather,
I'm starting to feel better today. Friday morning, I was feeling really weird, like achy, tired, weird. I had a psychology final, though, so I went to take it at the testing center. It took me three hours, and by the end I felt like I was going to die. It's all a bit of a haze at this point, but I somehow made it on the right bus, got home, and crawled into bed. The next morning, Jemma came into my room to borrow my straightener, and realized I wasn't doing so hot when she couldn't wake me up. There are some more hazy memories, but I do remember sitting in a clinic with a face ma
sk and Adam talking to the doctor for me. I don't even remember the pharmacy, but he got me home with some medicine. I totally missed two other finals, which my professors begrudgingly let me reschedule after some back and forth emails and after I scanned and attached a doctor's note that I had to call the clinic for.
So, yeah, that was my first experience with the flu. And I hope it will be the last!
Now I'd better go study since I have two more finals to take.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Yellow Roses
Date: December 22, 2016
Thank you for the card and flowers! Can I tell you a secret? That was the first time somebody has given me flowers. I have never even had a favorite flower, but I think yellow roses will be my favorite now.
I have come to terms with the fact that someone is reading my emails. Usually, I just pretend it isn't happening and write whatever the heck I want. I'm actually thinking that my dear, bow-tie grandfather doesn't believe in cable TV, so he has to get his daily dose of drama from my letters. Am I on to you? Retirement isn't as exciting as you thought it would be, huh? Oh goodness, I'm being impertinent.
Thank you, again, for the beautiful flowers!
Jessie
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Dear Mr. Bow Tie
Date: January 13, 2017
Jemma is dating a guy named Ross now. She is currently majoring in economics because it's a short major and she needs to graduate someday. Wouldn't it be fun to have five different majors? If someone would pay me to be a student, I'd never do anything else. But I'm too cheap not to hurry through my education, as much as I love it here.