Hawk's Way: Rebels

by Joan Johnston

  She stood at the bedroom door watching as Billy tucked Annie into bed and settled Raejean at a small desk with a coloring book and some crayons. She was amazed at his patience with his daughters. Amazed at his calm, quiet voice as he talked to them. The longer she watched, the worse she felt.

  Billy had needed someone to help him out. All she had done was cause more trouble. Maybe he would want out of the marriage now. Maybe that’s what he wanted to discuss with her.

  When he rose at last and came toward her, he indicated with a nod that she should precede him down the stairs. Cherry felt the tension mounting as she headed into the kitchen, where the peanut butter jar stood open and blobs of jelly lay smeared on the counter. A pan bearing the scraped remnants of scrambled eggs sat in the sink, along with one lined with scalded milk.

  She turned to face Billy. “I can explain everything,” she said.

  That was when he started laughing.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  “WHAT’S SO FUNNY?” Cherry demanded.

  “Annie eating all those marshmallows. She probably begged you for more.”

  “How did you know?”

  “Laura and I let the twins eat too much ice cream the first time they tried it. It’s hard to deny them anything when you see how much they’re enjoying it. You’ll learn.” His expression sobered as he added, “That’s what parents have to do, Cherry. They have to set limits and stand by them, for the sake of the kids.”

  “I’ll try to do better, Billy,” she replied.

  Rather than say more, he merely scooped her into his arms, gave her a hug and said, “I’ve got to get back to mending fence. See you at supper.”

  It wasn’t until he was out the door and gone that she realized he hadn’t said a word about the sorry state of the kitchen. Cherry took a look around. There was no way he hadn’t noticed. She blessed him for not criticizing, and decided to reward him with a sparkling kitchen when he next saw it.

  Of course, that was before she knew what the afternoon held in store.

  Grocery shopping was out of the question because Annie was in bed sick, so she took some hamburger out of the freezer to defrost for meatloaf while she cleaned up the kitchen. When she went to check on the twins, she found Annie sound asleep.

  Raejean was gone.

  She searched the entire house, high and low, without finding her. “She couldn’t have left the house. I would have seen her,” Cherry muttered to herself.

  Unless she went out the front door.

  Cherry found the front door open a crack.

  “Oh, no, Raejean.”

  She was afraid to leave Annie alone in the house while she searched, but she knew she had to find Raejean before Billy came home. It was one thing to let a child overeat; it was quite another to lose one entirely. She had no choice but to call for help.

  “Jewel, can you come over here?”

  “What’s wrong, Cherry? Should I get Mom and Dad?”

  “No! I’m sure I can handle this. Would you please just come over?”

  When she was home from college, Jewel helped run Camp Littlehawk, a retreat that Rebecca had started years ago at Hawk’s Pride for kids with cancer. Summer sessions hadn’t yet begun, so Jewel was free to come and go as she pleased.

  “I’ll be there in thirty minutes,” Jewel said. “Is that soon enough?”

  “No. But I guess it’ll have to do.”

  “It sounds serious, Cherry. Are you sure—”

  “I’m sure I can handle it with your help, Jewel. Please hurry.”

  The next thirty minutes were the longest of Cherry’s life. Billy had shown a tremendous amount of trust in her, and she had already let him down once. She had to find Raejean before anything happened to her.

  “How can I help?” Jewel asked the instant she came through the kitchen door.

  With that single question, Jewel proved what a gem of a sister she was and why she was Cherry’s favorite sibling. Jewel gave a thousand percent to whatever she did and never asked for anything in return.

  She walked with a slight limp, a result of the car wreck that had orphaned her, and her face bore faint, criss-crossing scars from the same accident. She had mud-brown eyes and dishwater-blond curls, and looked so ordinary you wouldn’t see her in a crowd. But she had a heart so big it made her an extraordinary human being.

  “I’m in way over my head, Jewel,” Cherry confessed. “I thought taking care of two little girls was going to be a breeze. It isn’t.”

  “What’s the problem?” Jewel asked.

  “Annie’s upstairs in bed sick, and Raejean’s missing. I need you to watch Annie while I hunt for Raejean.”

  “I’ll be glad to do that. Are you sure you don’t want some more help hunting down Raejean?”

  “I’d rather try to find her myself first. With any luck, she’s hiding somewhere close to the house.”

  Cherry looked in the barn, which was the most obvious place for the little girl to hide. It was dark and cool and smelled of hay and leather and manure. A search of the stalls turned up two geldings and a litter of kittens, but no little girl.

  She climbed the ladder that led to the loft and gave it a quick look, but there was nothing but hay bales and feed sacks, so she climbed down again. As she turned to leave the barn, she heard a sound in the loft. Several pieces of straw wafted through the air and landed on the cement floor in front of her.

  “I know you’re up there, Raejean,” she said. “Please come down. I’ve been very worried about you.”

  Footsteps sounded on the wooden floor above her before Raejean said, “You have not! I’m not coming down till my Daddy gets home.”

  Cherry climbed the ladder to the loft and followed the sounds of a sobbing child to the feed sacks in the corner. Raejean was huddled there, her knees wrapped up in her arms, her stubborn jaw outthrust as she glared at her new stepmother.

  Cherry sat on the scattered straw across from Raejean. “I know what it feels like to lose your mother, Raejean. I know what it feels like to have a stranger try to boss you around. I’m sorry your mother died. I’m sorry she isn’t here right now. I know I can never replace her. But your Daddy asked me to take care of you and Annie for him while he works every day. Won’t you let me help him?”

  Raejean’s tear-drenched eyes lowered as she picked at a loose thread on the knee of her coveralls. “I miss my mommy. I want my nana.”

  Cherry’s heart climbed to her throat. She could understand Raejean’s need for the familiar. In the ordinary course of things, it would have been wonderful to have the girls’ grandmother take care of them temporarily. But Mrs. Trask wanted to wrench them away from their father permanently. Cherry wasn’t willing to worry Raejean with that possibility, but she wasn’t going to encourage Raejean’s desire to run to her grandmother for solace, either.

  “I’m sure your daddy will take you to visit your grandmother soon. Right now we need to go back inside and check on Annie. I invited my sister, Jewel, to stay with her while I looked for you, but I think Annie needs us.”

  “She doesn’t need you!” Raejean retorted.

  “Maybe not. But she needs you. Will you come back inside with me?”

  Cherry’s heart sank when the little girl said nothing. What was she supposed to do now? She couldn’t very well drag Raejean down the ladder. And while she could probably let her sit up here until Billy came home, it wasn’t a particularly safe place for a six-year-old.

  She put a comforting hand on Raejean’s shoulder, but the child shrugged it off. “Please, Raejean? I need your help with Annie.”

  “Oh, all right,” Raejean said. “But I’m coming inside for Annie. Not for you.”

  Her face remained sullen as she followed Cherry inside, and she glowered when she discovered that Annie was still asleep.

  “Maybe while Annie’s sleeping you could help me make supper,” Cherry cajoled.

  “I don’t know how to cook,” Raejean said. “Mrs. Motherwell wouldn’t let us in the kitchen
, and Nana has a lady to do all her cooking.”

  “Would you like to learn?”

  Reluctantly Raejean nodded her head.

  “Let’s give it a try, shall we?”

  “If the emergency is over, I’ve got some chores I need to do this afternoon,” Jewel said.

  “I’ll walk you to your car,” Cherry said. “I’ll be back in a few minutes, Raejean. Then we can get started on supper.”

  “When will I see you again?” Jewel asked as they headed downstairs.

  “I told Colt I was going to bring the girls and Billy to meet Zach and Rebecca this evening, but I think I’d better revise that plan. Will you tell Rebecca that Annie’s not well, and that we’ll come visit as soon as we can?”

  “Why don’t you call her yourself?” Jewel urged as Cherry walked her out to her car. “I know she wants to talk to you.”

  “I can’t face her, Jewel. Not after the way I disappointed her again.”

  “You know Mom and Dad are proud of you.”

  “Most of the time.”

  “You’re their daughter. They love you.”

  “I don’t know why,” Cherry said with a sigh.

  Jewel shook her head. “There’s no rhyme or reason to loving someone. You should know that by now.” She gave Cherry a hug. “Take care, Mrs. Stonecreek.”

  “Please don’t call me that, Jewel.”

  “Why not? You’re married, aren’t you?”

  “Yes.” Temporarily. “It feels strange, that’s all. It’s a marriage of convenience,” she confessed. “Billy needed someone to take care of his girls, and I—I couldn’t face Zach and Rebecca after what happened at the prom.”

  “I figured it might be something like that.”

  Cherry could tell Jewel was curious, but Jewel didn’t ask questions. She merely smiled and gave Cherry another hug. “Call me if you need me, okay?”

  As Jewel drove away, Cherry turned back to the house, to perhaps the biggest challenge of her life—being a mother to two little girls who didn’t want one.

  BILLY ENTERED THE KITCHEN at dusk, after a long, discouraging day that had included a visit to a lawyer, to find utter chaos.

  The open peanut butter and jelly jars were gone from the counter, replaced by catsup and a round container of oatmeal. Dirty dishes no longer sat in the sink; it was filled with potato peels. The kitchen smelled like something good was cooking in the oven. But instead of a table set for supper, he found three flour-dusted faces standing on a flour-dusted floor, laboring over a flour-dusted table.

  “Hi, Daddy!” Raejean’s face bore perhaps the biggest smile Billy had seen there since Laura’s death. She held a rolling pin in her small hands and was mashing it across some dough spread on the table. “We’re cooking.”

  “Hi, Daddy!” Annie’s grin was equally large. She held up two flour-dusted hands, one of which held a hunk of half-eaten dough. “We’re making an apple pie for you, because it’s your favorite!”

  Billy finally let his gaze come to rest on Cherry. She had been in his thoughts too often during the day. She had a panicked look on her face as she glanced around at the mess in the kitchen. She pointed to the dough in Annie’s hand and said, “I only let her have this little bit. It’s not enough to make her sick.”

  “I see,” Billy said.

  What Billy saw was Cherry reassuring him that she had learned her lesson. That she was willing to take responsibility for being the adult when she was barely one herself.

  “We’re running a little late,” Cherry said, rubbing her hands across the front of her jeans and leaving them flour-dusted, as well. “After we got the meatloaf and mashed potatoes prepared, there was still time before we expected you back, so we decided to make a pie.”

  “I see.”

  What Billy saw was something he had never seen when Laura was alive, and likely never would have seen, even if she had lived. Laura had never learned to cook, and she didn’t pretend to be any good at it or take any joy in it. The only apple pie she had ever made for him had come from a frozen food box. Culinary expertise hadn’t been high on Billy’s list of requirements for a wife, so he had never minded.

  Now he realized what he had been missing. To see the three of them working together to make something especially for him touched a place deep inside of him. It fed a hunger for the sort of hearth and home that he imagined others experienced, but which had been lost to him since his parents’ deaths. It was an added bonus to see Raejean and Annie so happy.

  A different man might have seen only the mess and not the loving gesture that had been the source of it. Billy merely said, “Would you mind if I take a quick shower before I join you? I’m a little rank after a day on the range.”

  Cherry looked relieved. “That’ll be fine. It’ll give us time to finish up here.”

  He started for the hall but turned around before he got there and returned to the table. He saw the wariness in Cherry’s eyes, the vulnerable look that said, “What have I done wrong now?”

  He brushed a patch of flour from her cheek with his thumb before he lowered his mouth to touch hers. The shock was electric. When he could breathe again, he said, “Thanks, Cherry. Homemade apple pie will be a real treat.”

  “I helped,” Raejean said.

  “Me, too,” Annie added.

  Billy gave each of them a quick kiss on the nose. “I can tell,” he said with a smile. “You two need a shower almost as bad as I do.”

  He made himself leave them and go shower, even though he was tempted to stay. He had to remind himself that Cherry was only there for a little while. Long enough to keep Penelope at bay. Long enough to make sure he kept custody of his kids.

  By the time he got back downstairs, the pie was in the oven and the kitchen had undergone a partial transformation. The sink was stacked high with everything that had been on the table, but the floor was swept clear, and Cherry and his daughters no longer sported a liberal dusting of flour on their faces and clothes.

  “I set the table,” Raejean said proudly.

  “It looks great,” Billy said as he eyed the knife and fork on a folded paper napkin beside his plate.

  “I picked the flowers,” Annie said.

  A collection of blue morning glories with tiny, half-inch stems floated in a bowl of water.

  “They’re beautiful,” Billy said as he sat down and joined them at the kitchen table. “Your mother…” His throat closed suddenly. The swell of emotion surprised him. He had thought he had finished grieving. But the senseless tragedy of Laura’s death was there with him again, as though it hadn’t happened a full year in the past, but only yesterday.

  The two girls looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to finish. He swallowed back the lump in his throat and managed to say, “Your mother would have loved to see them there.”

  “It was Cherry’s idea,” Annie volunteered. “She said they would be pretty.”

  “They are,” Billy agreed softly. He let his gaze slip to Cherry for the first time since he had come to the table. “Morning glories were Laura’s favorite flower,” he said.

  “I didn’t know,” she replied. “I can take them off the table, if you like.”

  “No. Leave them there. It’s all right.” He had to keep on living. He had to go on despite the fact Laura was no longer with him. He fought back the anger at Laura for leaving him alone to raise their two girls. It didn’t help to feel angry. Better not to feel anything.

  Only, that wasn’t possible anymore. Not with Cherry living in the same house. Just looking at her made him feel way too much. He wanted her. And felt guilty because of it, even though he knew that was foolish. He was still alive. He still had needs. And she was his wife.

  Temporarily. And only as a matter of convenience.

  That didn’t seem to matter to his body. It thrummed with excitement every time he looked at her. He wondered how her breasts would feel in his hands. He wondered whether she had freckles everywhere. He wanted to see her blue eyes darken w
ith passion for him.

  He was damned glad she couldn’t read his mind.

  After supper, the two little girls who had enjoyed making pie were less willing to clean up the results of their handiwork.

  “Mrs. Motherwell always did the dishes by herself,” Raejean protested.

  “Yeah,” Annie added.

  “Maybe so, but she isn’t here anymore,” Cherry said. “Now everybody helps in the kitchen.”

  Raejean’s eyes narrowed as though gauging whether she had to obey this dictum. She glanced at her father, still sitting at the table finishing up his second slice of pie, and asked, “Even Daddy?”

  Billy had been listening to the byplay between Cherry and his daughters, a little surprised that she expected the twins to help. There was nothing wrong with them learning to do their share of the chores. Of course, he hadn’t expected to be included. Dishes were women’s work.

  Now what, smart guy? Are you going to act like a male chauvinist pig? Or are you going to provide a good example to your children and pitch in to help?

  Billy rose and carried his plate to the sink. “All of us have to do our part,” he said. “Even me.”

  It was fun.

  He had never done dishes as a family project, but there were definite advantages to doing the work as a team. Like having the girls tease him with the sprayer in the sink as they stood on a chair and rinsed off the dishes before Cherry loaded them in the dishwasher. And tickling Cherry, who turned out to be the most ticklish person he had ever known.

  In the past, jobs at the ranch had been divided into his and hers. Cherry made everything ours.

  “Where did you learn all these communal work ethics?” Billy asked as they each toweled off one of the twins after their bath.

  “When there are eight kids in a household, everyone has to chip in and do their part,” Cherry said. “And knowing there was at least one extra pair of hands to help made every job easier.”