“…charmed her already, have you?” I heard Cougar speak and then the groan of springs as he sat on the couch.
“What happened?” Raven sighed.
“We have word that someone knows she’s here.”
“How?”
“I don’t know, but she’s not safe here anymore. We need to…”
I couldn’t listen anymore. I crept across the floor and made my way to the balcony. Hugging myself, I stared out at the surrounding forest and tried to assimilate the thoughts racing around my head. I wasn’t safe anymore. Exactly how was I supposed to deal with that? Stay with Raven? Run? To where? The questions spun inside me until I was practically dizzy.
I took a cleansing breath and tried to steady my nerves. The scent of pine was heavy, and a cool breeze pushed at my hair.
How could any place so peaceful be unsafe?
I just couldn’t believe it. I had never felt even a twang of danger when I was with Raven.
That doesn’t make sense, you idiot.
All true.
The sizzling yearning doesn’t either, my subconscious reminded me.
Closing my eyes and breathing deeply once again, I dropped my head into my hands. The wind gusted and something whipped past my head. My eyes sprang open as another…
Leaf? Rock? What the hell was that?
Whatever it was it darted past me again, this time hitting the stone of the house and shattering, spraying me with bits of rock and dust.
A sharp sting blossomed on my cheek, and I put my fingers to it, shrieking when they came away red.
Blood. My blood!
Terrified, I froze, and somewhere in the recesses of my mind the word “gun” formed and I screamed, ducking to the floor and throwing my arms over my head.
“Take her!” Suddenly, Raven and his brother were there and in one graceful move, Cougar hurdled over the railing.
It had to be a thirty foot drop!
Raven shielded me with his body as another bullet ripped past. Something passed in his eyes, and I knew, I just knew, he was planning on taking me to the shadows.
“Don’t you dare!” I warned with more bravado than I felt. “Not the shadows. Please,” I begged, desperate not to find myself in the dark places once again.
He nodded almost imperceptibly and then with gentle hands lifted me, the walls speeding by unbelievably fast. I was aware of Raven producing a key to the locked room, carrying me through, and opening another door.
Dark closet! My muddled brain screamed at me, waking me from my terror-induced trance.
I started to fight against Raven. “No!” I cried. “Not the dark!”
Mumbling an apology, he hit a switch, illuminating the room. He pressed his hand to a clear glass panel and it sprang to life, bright blue LED numbers appearing on the screen. After punching in a quick code, he turned to me.
“It’s a safe room, wait in the living quarters below, Zen,” Raven ordered. “I’ll be back.”
In that moment I realized what he intended to do. Cougar was already out there, risking his life for mine. Now Raven planned to join him. I couldn’t leave Cougar to face my demons alone but…
“I don’t want you to go.”
“I know.” Raven smiled, but sorrow laced the curve of his lips. He pressed a chaste kiss to my lips and disappeared into the shadows.
Chapter 11
I couldn’t bring myself to climb down the stairs. Raven was out there, with Cougar, chasing a man with a gun.
Two more lives at risk because of me.
Insanity! This has to stop! How long could I hide and let other people put their lives on the line for me? Regardless of my unpleasant start in life, I held no supernatural abilities. I’d always reasoned that was why no one from wherever the hell I was held before sought me out. Certainly they’d have wanted me when I was still a child, yet unable to defend myself. Right?
My battered emotions gave way, and as if a damn had burst, tears spilled down my face. Tears of anger. I wanted my life back. The calm, boring existence I’d created with the help of my parents and by studying my ass off in college. Building a clientele where I could work my own hours, allowing me the freedom to sleep late in the day and hold my appointments only in the afternoons, thus permitting me to stay awake late into the night, every light in my bedroom burning brightly to ward of my fear of the dark.
I don’t know how long I huddled against the doorway Raven had ushered me into, only that when he returned and found me soaked with my own tears, he muttered a curse and carried me back to the bedroom.
“Did you get him?” I managed after dragging in a ragged breath.
“Yes,” Raven replied, his voice laced with apprehension. “Cougar is taking him to interrogate him, if he survives his wounds.”
“You killed him?”
“No,” he ground the word out. “Cougar reasoned that we should try to get information from him first.”
“But he will die?”
“Yes.” Again the word came through gritted teeth.
“Good.” Venom laced my words, yet my eyelids were too heavy for me to hold up any longer, and it took a consorted effort to keep Raven’s gaze. When he stood to leave, I grabbed his arm, my fingers dropping down to his. “Don’t go.”
He ran my hand between his thumb and index finger gently, delicately. “Okay.”
Raven stroked away my tears with a swipe of his thumb, earning him a weak smile from me. Without thought, I reached for him, linking my fingers behind his head and pulling him toward me. I felt the soft stubble of Raven’s beard. It was a tantalizing change from the clean-shaved skin he usually had as he kissed me with a passion matched by my own.
“You taste divine, Zen,” he whispered when we finally came up for air.
“As do you.”
He kissed the corner of my mouth and made his way down my chin, alternating between small nibbles and softly sucking kisses. I angled my head back and offered him my neck.
He bit me sensually, not breaking the skin. “Tis a fine line you’re walking, little one.”
I trusted him, why couldn’t he see that?
“I’ll not take advantage of this.” He ran his tongue along my neck, tracing the vein embedded there.
My eyes, raw, tired, and filled with frustration, closed.
Raven’s hand slid down my neck, teased my collarbone, and then moved to my breast, raising it to his eager mouth. He pulled at my nipple until it was hard and aching and then shifted to work on the other.
My body danced beneath his skillful hands. I was quivering, needful…wanton, my subconscious finished for me.
His fingers moved down my body, encircling my navel and then gliding just past my…
“Zen! Wake up!”
I sat bolt upright, startled and gasping for breath.
“What is it?” Raven asked, his dark hair tousled by sleep.
I sucked in a deep breath through my lips, my eyes not yet focusing clearly on the room. I was covered with a fine sheen of sweat and damp between my thighs. Raven sat beside me, patiently waiting on my reply.
“Nothing,” I murmured. “Just a…dream.” I felt the heat of my blush creep up my face.
Something passed through Raven’s eyes. Amusement? “A dream, huh?”
“Nightmare,” I said simply, sorry that the bedside light was illuminating my face and exposing my cheeks, red with embarrassment.
He was silent for a long minute. His eyes bore into mine before he finally nodded lightly and said, “Sleep then.”
Nodding and tugging the blankets up to my neck, I drifted back off.
* * * *
“Good morning,” I called as Raven began to stretch in the sheets. “Sleep well?”
He yawned loudly. “I did.” Narrowing his eyes he added, “You’re dressed.”
“How observant,” I quipped. “I wanted to get an early start.”
“Early start? Where?” He sat up in bed, and my errant eyes skimmed his naked chest down to where
the sheets pooled at his waist. My dream from the past night drew a shudder from me.
“I…um…” Get ahold of yourself, Zen. “I’m going home.”
Raven stood, revealing even more of his taut stomach and the smattering of hair that made up his happy trail. He shook his head slowly. “No, Zen. You’re not going anywhere.”
The words were like dumping ice water on my libido. “Of course I am. You got him…right?” The last word came out on a squeak.
He ran his hand through his hair, leaving it more disheveled and sexy than it already was.
Focus, Zen, focus, my subconscious warned.
“Yes, we got him.” Raven swung his long legs out of the bed; he was wearing only his boxer briefs as he crossed the distance between us. With his hands on my shoulders and a softer voice he said, “But that doesn’t mean there aren’t more.”
“How long can this go on?” My voice was whisper weak.
Raven lowered his head to mine, his gaze searching me. “I don’t know.” He shook his head sympathetically. “I’m sorry.”
“I can’t just hide out here forever!” I said, finding my voice once again in exasperation.
A look I couldn’t decipher passed over his face before quickly dissolving into blank nothingness. “We will figure something out. For now, you stay, little one.”
The endearment caused my face to redden once again.
’Tis a fine line you’re walking, little one. The memory made me blush even further.
A fine line indeed.
Chapter 12
Time was of no consequence to me as the day slipped by. I was lost in my own thoughts. Why did the person Raven and Cougar caught want me, and what did he plan to do if he got me? How long was I to be kept hidden away? I pushed away the “Why me?” lament as it felt too pathetic, and I refused to give up any more dignity than I already had. “Why me’s” were useless; only how to move forward from here mattered.
Raven was never far away physically, but he remained as aloof as ever. I needed to sort this all out.
So much had happened, and I needed time to process it all. The mugging in the parking garage, going back into the darkness, hit men, shifters, and vampires.
Raven.
What was I to do about Raven? The pull between us was a palpable, almost visible thing. I felt it even before I knew he watching me; that shiver of excitement and anticipation. Security, safety, and desire.
Yes, the desire was there, and it was as confusing as it was powerful. Raven was dark seduction personified, and I was afraid of the dark.
Raven’s wicked side of sex.
Yes, I would have to address that aspect as well. Not that I was an innocent. No, I’d lost my virginity long ago and had enjoyed the more carnal pleasures of life on an occasion or three.
I want you naked, blind-folded, and trussed up in that bed, begging for me, craving release. Just replaying Raven’s words in my mind sent desire flowing like hot lava through my veins, dampening my panties.
But did I want that? Could I give up my carefully crafted control and trust anyone enough to be bound and blindfolded?
Yes, hell yes! My subconscious squealed in delight, belying the reality of the fear residing within me.
Could I trust anyone enough to give up that control? Do I trust anyone who could plunge me back into the darkness? Did I trust Raven?
“Are you hungry?” Raven’s voice was low and cautious, breaking the spell of my own thoughts.
I kept my eyes downcast and shook my head, partly in answer to his question but also to clear my mind.
“No. I’m tired. I think I’ll turn in.”
“Okay,” he said softly and began assembling his laptop. “Are you sure you don’t want to eat first?”
I shook my head and headed for the stairs.
When I emerged from the bathroom, teeth brushed, needs tended to, and wearing a silken short and tank set from the closet full of stuff for me, Raven was perched in a chair, studiously examining whatever was on the screen of his laptop.
“What do you do?” I asked, realizing how little I knew of him. “You know, when you’re not rescuing damsels in distress,” I added as I crawled into the bed.
Raven looked up from his computer and snorted a laugh. “I have been accused of many things in my existence, rescuing people is not one of them.”
“Isn’t that what Ian and Leah hired you to do?”
He came over and sat on the edge of the bed next to me. For a moment he simply looked at me, studying me, I guess. His head was angled, sculptured lips parted ever so slightly as his thumb and forefinger gently stroked his chin.
I was mesmerized, trapped in the spell that he created as the ever present thrill of electricity danced between us. It felt like an invisible force was drawing me to him; something that wrapped around the core of my being and tugged me toward him. What was this enigma of a man searching for? What was he thinking?
“Ian is not paying me to look after you. I have taken far more from him than I have ever given back.”
“So you what, owe him?
His lips curved in a sad smile. “Ian saved me, and in return, I killed the woman he loved. You should sleep.”
What? Sleep after he just told me that? I don’t think so!
“What the hell! You’re kidding, right? You drop that on me then expect me to sleep?” I lowered my voice several octaves to mimic his. “I killed the woman he loved, sweet dreams?”
A look of amusement crept across his face.
“I’m glad I entertain you,” I snapped.
“I don’t sound like that,” he replied.
I wanted to return his smile, but I refused to be sidetracked. “Why did you kill her?” I demanded.
“She was going to kill him.”
“Oh,” was all I could think of to say.
“I had no choice.” His eyes were distant, words spoken softly.
“You must’ve hated her.” I tried to bite back the words, but they were out before I could stop them. Damn!
He blinked at me, eyes wide, expression full of guilt and…
Oh my gosh! He loved her too? It was there in his eyes for just a moment. The revelation made me…uncomfortable.
“Besides…” He swept an errant strand of hair off my forehead, his touch sending heat down my body. “I told you, Zen. I do as I please.”
I don’t know if it was the touch, his nearness, or the tone of his voice, but before I could stop myself I said, “And you don’t please me?” The words were a mere breath of sound, but shocked by my own audacity, I quickly rolled to my side, lay back on the pillow, and pulled the covers to my neck.
Raven was so still that if I hadn’t known he was right next to me, I would have thought myself alone. Tension rippled through me. Did I really want the answer to that question? Did Raven want me, or was I simply a way to pay back Ian for an unforgiveable offense? Was I a means to an end?
Raven killed the woman Ian loved.
It was chilling. Why? And why would Ian trust him again?
Unless that was to be my fate too.
No! I had never felt fear with Raven. He wouldn’t hurt me. I believed that with every fiber in my body.
After several long minutes I felt the mattress rise as Raven stood, then heard him settle into the chair and his fingers gently tap the keyboard of his laptop.
Chapter 13
Raven kept his distance for the next couple of days. He was always near, but there was an obvious “stay-away” vibe emanating from him. I stayed occupied by reading a copy of The Catcher in the Rye that I found on a bookshelf in the main living area and by swimming to relieve the stress of being kept inside. I longed to go out outside or onto the balcony to breathe in the cool, fresh air, but after my last encounter out there, I didn’t argue with Raven’s insistence I remain indoors.
Exile did not suit me, however, and I found myself pacing the house. My muscles twitched with the need to do more than sit.
“You’re go
ing to wear a groove in the floor.”
I turned and made another pass.
Without warning he pulled me into his lap and crushed my mouth with his, and I surrendered, need and frustration weaving within me. I wound my fingers into his hair as he pushed his tongue between my parted lips. He tasted of lust and passion and need, and I reveled in it as our lips moved together. When we finally came up for air, his gaze seared me with desire and a touch of awe.
“Tell me you don’t feel it?” I gasped. “The longing…”
“I feel it, Zen. I don’t deserve it, but it is there nonetheless.”
I shifted and straddled his legs, winding my hands into his hair once again, and crushing his mouth to mine. Letting my arms skim down his chest, I gripped the hem of his shirt and lifted it up. He raised his arms and let me pull it over his head. I broke the kiss and leaned back to admire his torso and skim my fingers over the scars marking his beautiful body.
Looking up into his eyes, I saw cautious trepidation there. “I want you, Raven.”
“You don’t know me.” His words were etched with self-loathing.
In that moment I recognized the expression. I’d seen it reflected on my own face after I’d given into the darkness lurking within my soul, and I suddenly knew what he was hiding.
“I know enough.”
“How could you?”
I kissed him again, not wanting the moment to pass but knowing that it would just the same. “I know what the darkness does to you, Raven. I’ve felt the same, before –“
I hadn’t spoken a word of this to anyone, not even to my parents. It was their love, their belief in me that made me keep the dark at bay. I didn’t want to tarnish that with my past. But now, seeing the same torment in Raven’s eyes, how could I not tell him?
“I was just a child when they plunged me into the shadows. And I knew something terrifying lurked within the depths of it. But I also knew that I was alone. The only scary thing hiding in the dark was me.” I dropped my gaze to the ground. I couldn’t bear to look at anyone while I spoke the words I’d spent a lifetime hiding. “I wanted to hurt people when I was there. It was as if every foreboding emotion was wrenched from my body and I needed, wanted chaos. And I wanted to be the cause of that harm.” I whispered the last, ashamed of my own inner demons.
Shadowwalker Page 7