“You still blame yourself.”
“I blame both of us.”
And he always would, I thought sadly.
“Elizabeth was a serial killer. She’d not only drink the blood of her victims; she’d bathe in it, believing that by doing so she could possess their beauty.” His voice softened. “My mother was beautiful.”
“Oh God! Raven,” I choked out the words. “She killed your mother.” Tears slid down my cheeks.
“Don’t cry for me, little one. It was long ago.” He drew in a deep, chest-filling breath and let it out slowly. “There’s more.”
I nodded. How could I not? If he could bear to remember, the least I could do was listen.
“I left after that, allowing the rage to consume me.” He paused then, his dark eyes the color of a moonless night. “I have never spoken of this before. If you want to leave, I understand. I will make arrangements for Ian to send someone else in my stead, and you will never have to see me again.” He paused, his gaze searing me with their intensity. “You see, I became the perfect killing machine.”
I swallowed hard and blinked at him. “Were you hired to kill me?” It took all my effort to push the words out of my throat.
“No. But I am a killer. That is why I am not the man for you. I’m not of your station.”
“You’re right,” I acquiesced. “You are not of my station. You are above it.” I took his face in my hands and pulled him to me. Noses touching, I met his eyes and then angled my head and pressed my lips to his. For a moment, he didn’t move. His entire body stilled so completely, I knew he wasn’t even drawing in breath. Then a low groan reverberated from him and he deepened the kiss. Our tongues collided, sliding against one another, my fingers in his hair and his hands moving over my shoulders, caressing my arms. When he pulled away, I was breathless, and I drew in deep breaths against him as he held onto me, his chin resting on my head.
“I want to lose myself in you, little one. I need you to be sure this is what you want because if you say yes, I will never let you go. I won’t change who I am.” He released me and stood. “Think about it.” I was left staring after him as disappeared into the shadows of the hall, closing the door behind him.
I opened my mouth to call after him. To tell him, “yes, he was who I wanted, that I didn’t care about his past.” Stretching out on the sofa, I pulled the blanket around me. My head began to ache as his story whirled through me. Raven had lived a horrific life. I couldn’t even grasp the level of abuse he suffered.
If I had gone through what Raven had, if I had the ability to walk among the shadows, would I have reacted the same as he did?
Could I live with his past? And marriage! What the hell was that all about?
And once I’ve won your hand, we would marry.
I will never let you go.
It should have sounded like a threat.
But it didn’t. Was Raven asking me to make a choice? I’d spent my life hiding from my past and the secrets they held. And maybe he had too.
I shoved the blankets off me and tossed my legs over the side of the bed.
Somewhere in the fucked up situation, I’d fallen in love with Raven. The only question that really mattered was…what was I going to do about it?
Chapter 22
“Raven?” I called softly into the bedroom. His shadow was highlighted by the silvery moonlight streaming through the window he stood in front of. He froze, his body completed void of any movement. I crossed the room slowly and wrapped my arms around his waist. I heard his soft release of breath as I nuzzled my face into his back. “Teach me to dance?”
His movement was swift, and I found myself backed up to the window, the cool glass pressing against my skin as his mouth covered mine in a kiss filled with promise. I ran my tongue along his bottom lip and then sucked it into my mouth, gripping it between my teeth and tearing a moan from his throat. Winding my hands around the back of his neck, I pulled him tighter against me. He slipped his hands under my ass and hefted me up until my legs wrapped around his waist. Fingers kneaded my behind as his mouth ravished mine, and then with a small tear of fabric, my panties were gone. Raven thrust into me, piercing me, filling me with an abrupt intensity that ripped a scream of ecstasy from my throat into his mouth. He paused for a moment, allowing me to relish the feel of him possessing me in a way that felt not like two bodies entwining but as if we had suddenly become whole, two halves of the same being finally finding one another. We were suspended in time, his dark eyes boring into mine. What I saw there made my heart drop in a loud thump as it fell hopelessly, completely in love with Raven. Hoping the love I felt shone through my eyes with the same desperate intensity it shined through his, I smiled, ever-so-slightly, and was rewarded as he beamed back at me.
“You are mine now, Zen. Don’t you forget that.” And then slowly, so heart-stopping slowly, he withdrew from my body. The slide of flesh on flesh sent waves of electricity skittering across every fiber of my body.
“Yes. Yours,” I panted as he pushed himself back into me.
He shifted so my back was no longer pressed against the wall. I entwined my fingers behind his neck and let my head fall back as he thrust into me again and again, riding him as tendrils of sweat skimmed down my body and between my breasts.
Raven bent his head and sucked one of my nipples between his moist lips, swirling his tongue around and then gently nipping, wrenching a pleasured scream from me. He tortured and teased until I thought I would orgasm from the sheer pleasure of his mouth on my breast, and then he released it. I groaned, instantly missing his lips. With a low chuckle he moved to my other breast and repeated the process, and this time I did climax, my muscles contracting around his hard-on. Had it not been for his arms suspending me, I would have surely fallen back, but he held me there, his hands supporting my torso and his mouth drawing out my orgasm as I bucked upon him.
Then he really started to move, thrusting in and out of me while I held on and rode out the pleasure of his body branding mine, invisibly, yet no less permanently than if I’d born his mark on my body for eternity.
I felt his rhythm begin to falter and knew he was close to his own climax. He slammed into me again and again, and then with his own frenzied moan, he spilled his hot seed into my body, his throbbing bringing me to yet another euphoric climax.
“Mine,” Raven spoke against my ear huskily.
“Yours,” I said, and then silently added, Please don’t betray me.
Chapter 23
I wrung my hands nervously as Raven drove out on the winding road that led away from his home. Leah had called and asked that we come to her home immediately. They had learned a few “disturbing things” from the man who had tried to shoot me at Raven’s house. She wouldn’t elaborate on what those “things” might be but promised to fill us in when we got there.
Raven placed a reassuring hand on my knee and gave it a gentle squeeze. “There is no need to worry, Zen.”
“Yeah right. You’re taking me to the lair of the most powerful vampire in the free world and telling me not to worry.” I snorted. “Fat chance. Where do they live, anyway?”
“About an hour south of Phoenix.”
“In the valley of the sun?” I exclaimed. “Why not live on the surface of the damn sun?”
He laughed. “Where did you think he lived?”
“North, someplace cold and dark.”
“Would it make you feel better if he lived in a cave?” His teasing grin caused me to laugh, and I began to relax.
The setting sun cast streaks of oranges, yellows, and reds before fading into the darkness of night. Raven’s car had the same treated windows that allowed him to venture out before night swallowed the light of day. I studied his profile as he drove, admiring the strong line of his jaw and the intensity that always seemed to be lurking behind his dark, knowing eyes. Long, dark eyelashes swept down as he blinked.
His cheek and jaw were covered with a fine, dark stubble that told me he hadn
’t shaved today and highlighted the slight dimples he held in each cheek. Raven’s hair was the darkest I’d ever seen, and in the faint light shone highlights of blue. It was as silky to the touch as it looked, and my fingers itched to reach over and caress it at the curve of his ear down to where it sat just at his collarbone.
Those lips…God, those full, delicious lips that had lingered over each surface of my body had me squirming a little in my seat. A movement that did not go unnoticed by Raven.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked softly with a slight tilt of his head.
How much I love you. The thought nearly jumped from my mouth, but I swallowed it back. Raven didn’t believe in love. He’d told me so himself. I shoved back the sudden pain that came with that knowledge and simply said, “You.”
He arched one eyebrow and then beamed a million-dollar smile at me before turning his attention back to the road.
Lush pines were shadowed as the last vestige of light sank behind the mountain range. The effect was surreal, and each new curve in the road brought another breathtaking scene into sight. As the night grew longer and the car ate the black ribbons of road before us, boulders replaced the trees until finally, they too disappeared and the vast open land on the side of the road appeared to be dark, murky, still lakes. It was just an effect, I knew, and only bare land surrounded us, but if I concentrated hard enough, I could almost see small ripples of activity on the surface.
For most of the trip, Raven kept one hand on the wheel and the other in mine. His thumb gently skimmed my hand, yet, he seemed distant. As if he had separated himself from me and the only part of him that I still had was his fingers wrapped around mine. When I could no longer take the tension, I asked, “What’s bothering you?”
I expected a vague reply. What I got was blunt and bruising.
Raven released my hand. “We need to distance ourselves from each other.”
“What?” Shock took my breath away, and I felt my heart plummet into my stomach.
“What we have had has been pleasant, Zen. But as I’ve said before, love is a weakness, and I cannot protect you if I’m weak. We need to…”
A crushing blow impacted my side of the car, the sound of metal scraping metal ringing in my ears.
Chapter 24
Raven cursed long and fluently as the blow forced his car sideways toward a deep ravine. I screamed as an airbag deployed, momentarily knocking me back in my seat. Suddenly strong arms surrounded me, and my world became a downhill spiral as we were thrown from the car and tumbled down the impossibly steep chasm. Sharp rocks cut into me, but the fall was cushioned by Raven’s body as he wrapped himself around me, one hand pressing my head to his chest. I heard the car below us, clanging metal disintegrating against the ground before a large fireball exploded from it, the hair on my arms singeing from the heat radiating from it.
A loud crack echoed through my body, finally stopping our descent. Raven’s hands fell limply from me. Fighting nausea as the world still spun around me and black, suffocating smoke seared my lungs, I twisted until I could see him.
His hair covered his face, stuck there by a thick, gooey coating of blood. I swept it to the side, looking for the source of the blood. His eyes drooped and then popped wide again as he struggled to stay conscious.
“You okay?” he mumbled, almost incoherently.
“Yes,” I lied, still looking for the wound that was causing so much bleeding.
He pushed my hands away and tried to stand. “We have to go.” He fell back with a grimace and a grunt. “They will come…” And with that, he passed out.
“Fuck! Raven, don’t do this to me, don’t leave me alone.” I gently lifted his head and nearly stuck my fingers in a gaping hole. It was still bleeding profusely, so I stripped off my outer button-down shirt and wrapped it around his head, securing it by tying the sleeves together.
“Over here!” A man’s voice called from the distance. Relief flooded through me for a split second before I realized that whoever that voice belonged to was probably the person who put us in the situation in the first place.
“Calm down,” came a second man’s voice. “They’re toast anyway.”
“You wanna go back without proof?” the first guy retorted.
Panicked, I ducked down and started looking for a way to hide. Fifty yards away sat our salvation in the form of a cave opening. It was partially obscured by surrounding rock, and I probably wouldn’t have even noticed it if the flames from the burning car weren’t casting shadows on it. Now that the problem of where to hide was solved, I had to figure out how to get there. I’d guess that Raven had nearly a hundred pounds on me, so lifting him was out of the question.
I pressed my face to his ear. “Raven, you have to get up.”
No response.
I shook him a little. “Raven, please! We have to hide. I can’t lift you!” I became aware of the tears streaming down my face. “Fuck!” I hissed.
“That’s not a very lady-like word,” came Raven’s garbled reply.
Thank God! “Can you move?” Oh, please, let him be able to at least crawl. “There are two of them. Eventually they’re going to figure out that we’re not in the car. I’d rather not be here when they do. There’s a cave about fifty yards away.”
Raven struggled to stand, but I shifted my weight across him to keep him down. “Wait.” I peered over the rock toward the direction of the voices and the now smoldering car. The men were engrossed in trying to pry the car door open. “Now!” I ordered Raven and then helped him stand.
My breath caught in my throat when I saw him upright. His back was bent at an odd angle, and I realized that the crack I heard when we stopped was very likely his back breaking. Still, he stood.
Raven said nothing, but his grunts and groans let me know he was in considerable pain. I don’t know how long it would take before we got to the cave entrance.
Trepidation snaked up my spine as I imagined all things creepy lurking in its depths. Yet nothing could be as scary as what lay out here for us, so swallowing back the fear, I guided Raven inside.
It was deeper than I thought. The small opening widened to a large cavern, illuminated only by the moonlight invading an opening at the top of the cave. The rock had some type of crystal property to it, lending a glittery glow to the cavern. Thankfully, it was enough to see by but nothing to give our position away. Boulders of various sizes and shapes littered the floor, and choosing one of the largest near the back of the cavity, I settled us in behind it and began checking Raven for wounds. Various cuts and scrapes peppered his body but nothing as bad as the gash on his head. Removing the shirt I’d secured there earlier revealed the bleeding had slowed. What I would’ve given for a basin of water and a first aid kit.
Remembering his cell phone, I searched his pockets, finding it in his front pocket. The screen was cracked, but I slid my finger across it anyway, saying a little prayer that it still worked.
It sprang to life.
Chapter 25
Next problem was who to call.
I hit the contacts app on his cell and hoped like hell Ian, Leah, or what was his name? Oh yeah, Cougar, would be listed. As it turned out, all of them were.
I decided on Ian and pressed the Call button.
He picked it up on the first ring.
“If you have arrived already, then you must have driven like a bat out of hell,” he said by way of greeting.
“Um…” My voice was shaky. “This is Zen Rivers; we’ve been in an accident.”
“Where are you?” His voice was suddenly serious, and a flurry of activity ensued through the line.
“I-I don’t really know.” I tried to keep my voice calm. “We were driving on a winding road surrounded by boulders. We’ve been on the road for about three hours.”
“Okay, Miss Rivers. Are you hurt?”
Me? Hurt? Hell, until he said it I never really thought of it. My main concern was Raven. “Raven is.” I choked back tears. “His head
is bleeding and he’s unconscious. I think maybe his back is broken too.”
“Don’t worry, he’ll heal. What about you?”
“I don’t know.” It was a shitty answer but the best I could give him.
“There is a tracker in the car,” he told me before I heard him yell, “Mouse,” but it was muffled as if he’d covered the receiver.
“The car exploded. We were forced into a ravine,” I continued.
“Do not fret, Miss Rivers. We will find you. Are your attackers still near?”
I stopped to listen for a moment. “No, I don’t hear anyone anymore, I think they’ve gone.”
“Excellent. Stay put. We have a partial signal from the GPS tracker. It may take a while to get the exact location, but we will be there. Don’t use the phone, conserve the battery, and only answer if it comes from this number,” he instructed.
“Okay.” The lie rolled easily but bitterly off of my tongue. Too many questions nagged me. What if they couldn’t find the cave we were hidden in? What if the attackers came back? It was me they wanted. Raven wasn’t able to protect himself right now. If they were still out there, I’d rather they found me alone.
I hung up and after taking a last look at Raven, left the cave, alone. The ravine was steep but littered with rocks big enough for me to get a foothold on. I was sweating and shaking by time I reached the top. I lay as flat as I could and peered over the road and then sat behind a boulder to wait. I remained hidden, alone with my thoughts, even though no other cars passed by. It seemed like hours before I heard the quiet whine of a car engine drawing near. Kneeling behind the boulder and praying that a snake or other creepy crawly wasn’t hiding in the surrounding brush. I waited until the car came to a stop.
It wasn’t a car but a large sport utility vehicle. Both front doors opened, and I saw Cougar and another man exit the car.
Fear propelled me from behind the rock, and I ran full out into a surprised Cougar’s arms. “Thank God! He’s down here.” I grabbed his hand and started pulling him toward the edge of the ravine.
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