One Percent of You

by Michelle Gross

  I owned two tattoo parlors—one I opened just six months ago. My ma is the reason for the new shop, Devil’s Lair. She begged me every day to come back to my rural hometown—Sassafras, Alabama—so that she could see me more. It took a couple years, searching for the perfect spot and building but I made it happen because of my priorities. My ma was the main one. Other changes included buying a house. She still complained, though, saying I took too long to get one.

  Nonetheless, I was there. But Ma couldn’t understand the amount of work I did between painting and graphic designs. She didn’t even consider all of my customers at Devil’s Poke in Jeffrey—I wasn’t very creative naming my businesses—plus managing the shops. There wasn’t nearly enough time to do it all.

  But still, I was there for her.

  I sighed long and hard as I pulled my truck into park at a grocery store. I couldn’t fucking cook, but I sure as hell knew how to snack. You could call me the King Kong of snack food town. I blamed my inability on Ma. She shouldn’t have spent all those years feeding me. Now I didn’t plan to cook for the rest of my life since I was too lazy, ahem, busy.

  My cell phone rang just as I shut off the engine. I yanked it off the charging cord and groaned as I saw the name on the screen. “Yeah?” I climbed out of the truck, locking it as I shut the door behind me.

  “You didn’t say goodbye,” Lindsay said.

  I stuffed my keys in my pocket. “Yeah?”

  “Always the asshole,” she muttered through the phone. “Weren’t you going to ask me to move with you?”

  I laughed. “Why would I do that?”

  “Don’t be like this over something silly,” she hissed. “How was I supposed to know we were official when you never once said we were dating?”

  Was that really her reasoning for the childish game?

  “Oh, fuck, I don’t know, maybe all the times you were staying at my place, spreading your legs for me,” I spat, earning a nasty frown from an elderly lady as she wheeled herself on one of those motorized carts. “I wasn’t aware I seemed like a man that liked to share.”

  “Oh my God! I didn’t cheat on you!” she yelled.

  “That didn’t stop you from taking Chris’s number right in front of me.”

  “You could have stepped in and said, ‘hey now, that’s my girl’, but you didn’t do that did you?” She exhaled. “Save it. I would have been all in if you had given me a sign that you were too.”

  I ran my fingers through my hair which was rough from the drive here. “I know exactly what you were doing,” I muttered.

  She laughed in my ear. “We can still try this, ya know? Let’s go all in.”

  It was like talking to a brick wall.

  Nope. I couldn’t make Lindsay a priority, not without listening to her complaints. She was a woman who enjoyed playing games while I refused to be anyone’s pawn.

  I tried. I really did. The only reason I hung with her for so long was that she made it so damned easy. She came around every night without demands. I thought she only wanted the physical—just like me—until the night I caught her flirting with Chris. I wasn’t really jealous of the tattooist who worked for me at Devil’s Poke. It was all a game to her from the way she batted her eyes to the wicked smile she gave me as she passed Chris her phone. She wanted me to man up and claim her like some Neanderthal. When I didn’t, there was no saving whatever we had.

  I didn’t want anything. I preferred solitude. I didn’t mind the company as long as she was fucking quiet while I worked. Lindsay was the only girl I’d met that knew that, so I made her a priority, but that chapter was over. She would never be anything more.

  “You should call Chris,” I told her after a while.

  “I’m going on a date with him this Saturday, actually. I just wanted to try one last time.”

  I nodded. That didn’t surprise me. “Chris is a good kid. Don’t take advantage of him.” When her protests began, I disconnected the call. I looked both ways before walking across the road to the store. No need for a shopping cart. I only planned to get a few things to munch on. All I ever did when I was at home was snack. I always ate out.

  I grabbed a gallon of chocolate milk first, but thought about it and put it back since I hadn’t even gotten to the house to hook anything up. I already had electric and water, and I had paid a few guys I knew to drive my stuff in the U-Haul. In the back of my truck were a few items, but everything was at the house, waiting for me to handle.

  Ma better know how much I loved her. What other capable almost thirty-year-old male moved back to their hometown because his ma begged him to? It would take me all week to unpack, maybe longer since I already had appointments lined up at the shop tomorrow—a thigh and two back pieces to tattoo. That was if they showed up.

  I went for the Little Debbie cakes next, still a little sullen about the milk as I walked away, so I trailed back and picked it up. My ass could plug the refrigerator in before anything else just so I could have my damn milk. Once I grabbed my Zebra Stripe cakes and Nutty Buddy’s, I moved on to the chip aisle. There was a moment of panic. For a second, I couldn’t see any Funyuns. I realized why. There was only one bag left, and it was partially hidden by all the Lay’s chips next to it. I nodded and smiled as if to say, “It’s all good” when two little hands shot up and snatched the bag before I could.

  “Whoa,” I said, staring down at the blonde pigtails.

  She slowly turned, peered up, and arched her brow at me curiously. “Are you talking to me?” The kid couldn’t be more than three and there she was completely alone and stealing my damn Funyuns!

  “How about you give me those Funyuns?” I asked nicely.

  She stared down at the chips in her tiny grip—those were mine—then looked back up. “No. Get your own.” She turned to walk off.

  “Where’re your parents? Little shits shouldn’t be all alone even if they’re becoming lil’ thieves at such a young age.”

  She scowled, her tiny nose wrinkling up. “She’s right where I left her.” She pointed to a blonde head leaned over one of the freezer sections. The little girl was inspecting me when I glanced back down at her. I saw the way her eyes rolled over my arms before she frowned. “My papaw always tells my mom that tattoos are ugly on women.”

  “Oh?” I tilted my head. “Your papaw sounds ugly.”

  Her mouth fell open. “You have demons on your arms ’cause you’re one.”

  I jumped and hissed. She startled, dropped the Funyuns, and ran screaming to her mom. I bent down, picked up my chips, and chuckled as I walked over to the next aisle and grabbed a pizza—something I could at least heat up easily—then went to the checkout where ugly grandpa’s evil thief helped her mom unload their shopping cart items.

  Lil’ Thief gazed up, eyes widening then hardening as tough as one could look at her age. She saw the bag of chips in my hand and tapped her Mom’s side “Mom, mom,” she started.

  “What is it, Lucy?” Her mother asked as she grabbed her purse and wheeled the cart forward as the cashier rung up her items. I took in the greasy blonde hair tucked into a messy bun. It probably had been a day or two since she shampooed it. From her chipped nails to her pale, tired face without makeup it was obvious she didn’t give two shits about her appearance. The longer I watched her, the more she irked me. I exhaled loudly as I imagined her living off the government. In a matter of minutes, she’d slide an EBT card through the slot to pay for her items.

  Guilt washed over me. My ma had been in this shape while raising me, and most of the food on our table before she met Hank came from food stamps, yet I saw more people abuse the system, so my disdain was real every time I saw people like this one in a store.

  No one was like Ma. She was her own breed, and she’d hang me for my petty thoughts, but I couldn’t stop myself.

  “That demon worshipper stole my chips.”

  Fucking hell. I went from the dude with demons on my arm to demon worshipper real quick. I’d hate to see what this child wo
uld have to say about my shops—creepy, demon portraits everywhere. The horror!

  The mother’s head snapped up from her purse at her child’s voice. She peered around to where her daughter pointed—at me—before turning a pitiful shade of red. Her eyes were the brightest shade of blue I’d ever seen, or maybe it was because she was so pale and sickly looking. She blushed so hard it made her extremely noticeable.

  “Lucy, that’s not nice! Why would you say that?” She wiped her face and tried hard not to stare at me as she spoke to her daughter.

  “He stole my Funyuns!” Her daughter’s face was red too. Quite the match, the two of them.

  The mom raised up, face squinted in pain as she placed her palm on her back, and that was when I noticed—holy, why hadn’t I noticed before? The woman was very pregnant. Just what society needed—another little terror running wild. She gestured toward the small chip bags beside me. “Grab a bag so I can pay. And apologize for saying that.”

  The little girl scooted around the shopping cart and snatched a small bag of Funyuns before turning around to me. “Sorry.” She stuck out her tongue as she glared up at me from a perfect angle where her mom couldn’t see it. Sneaky.

  “You should really get a hold on that,” I couldn’t point at the kid with my hands so full, but I jerked my head toward it so that she would understand I was talking about her kid.

  “That?” The mom’s eyebrows went up a notch. She forgot the part where she was trying not to make eye contact with me as she frowned.

  “Your kid,” I muttered.

  “Right, kid,” she told me. “Not that.” She glanced down at her daughter. “Come on, Lucy. Step away from the bad man.”

  I scoffed. “I guess that’s better than demon worshipper.”

  She straightened up and glared at me. “Would you prefer it if we called you the devil?”

  “Suits me.” Kids had no hope of not being little shits when their parents raised them to be just as uptight. I bet she’d love to hear the name of my shops as well.

  She scowled and turned around to pay. It surprised me when I saw a debit card slide through the machine. So she had a man she lived off? Popping out babies just to keep him? You’d think she’d at least take better care of herself. “What?” she muttered when I was still staring at her.

  I shrugged, unbothered. She closed up her purse, hollered for her kid again before waddling out the damn door.

  Good riddance!

  I dropped my stuff, slowly covering my eyes with my hands. What just happened finally sunk into my thick skull. I stole a kid’s chips. There was no end to my assholery.

  It was a five-minute drive from the grocery store to my new house. The one thing I hated about the place I bought was that it was right next to the projects. I would likely hear all kinds of shit I didn’t want to, but I got a great deal and the house was amazing. Or at least Ma thought so, she was the one that decided for me. I would live in it and pay for it but it didn’t matter what I thought. Apparently, anyway.

  I really needed to stop letting her boss me around.

  I could almost hear her saying that she’d stop after I found someone else to do it as I pulled into the driveway. Grabbing my grocery bags, I exited the truck. Before I could lock up, I heard a noise from the apartment lot next door.

  “Lucy, I’m gonna need your help with these.”

  Who knew why I walked around my truck to see when I’d recognized the familiar voice. The woman from the store was helping Lil’ Thief out of a car seat. The moment the kid’s feet hit the concrete, it was like her demon detector turned on. Her eyes darted around before landing on me.

  One scrawny arm raised and pointed. “Demon worshipper!”

  Ah, fuck.

  Chapter Two

  Hadley

  Just my luck.

  I wanted to look up to the sky and yell why me? Instead, I kept my panicky gaze locked on the giant man across the lawn from my car.

  Even with grocery bags in his hands—mundane stuff—he scared the living daylights out of me in the Piggly Wiggly. I wasn’t comfortable around intimidating guys like him—tall, surly, and heavily tattooed. I could feel his testosterone a mile away. Heck, I could feel his glare squashing me like a fly from this distance.

  Was he really the guy that bought the house? It had been on the market almost a year. I thought that maybe in another few months I’d be able to nab it before it was sold. Of course, that became a fantasy when the For Sale sign was removed last month and the movers were here earlier. Who was he? I refused to believe he was the owner.

  I closed my eyes and chanted, only four more months, only four more months. Graduate nursing school. Pass my exam. Get a job at the hospital. Leave these apartments. I was getting antsy being so close to having all of my goals checked off.

  As if Eli could sense my anxiety, he kicked me right in the bladder, and my legs bent inward. I turned away from Bad Man-Devil-Demon Worshipper and rushed to the opened trunk. “Help Mommy carry these. I’ve got to pee.” I took a deep breath and frowned at Lucy. “Stop staring, and for heaven’s sake, stop pointing!”

  She dropped her hand and walked over to me. I knew better than to grab too much from the store. One, because I was too pregnant to carry too much up three flights of stairs. Two, I was too broke to afford much more than the frozen pizzas and juice that had to last until payday in two days. I gave Lucy the pizzas to carry while I got the juices, then shut the trunk and rushed as quickly as a pregnant lady could move.

  By the second flight of stairs, I was singing, “Gotta pee, gotta pee, gotta pee so bad.”

  So Lucy followed up with, “Mommy’s gotta pee, gotta pee, gotta pee so bad.”

  I slammed through the door and dropped the juice on the floor. “Make sure the door’s shut!” I yelled at Lucy as I ran for the toilet. My back hurt constantly. My vagina hurt. I couldn’t stop peeing. I went to the doctor last week and was already dilated two centimeters. I had to be careful at this point. Eli needed to stay put at least one more month even if I was ready for this pregnancy to be done.

  I washed my hands and glanced at myself in the mirror. Fudge, I looked so horrible, but I didn’t have it in me to do anything about it. Maybe after Eli was born… Hadley, you’re a terrible liar.

  Truth was, I barely had time for myself when Scott lived there. These days, I definitely didn’t have the time to take care of myself.

  It would get better.

  Just like Scott’s betrayal didn’t hurt as much as it did months ago…almost. After I kicked Scott and Briana out that night, a terrible numbness came over me. It took a few hours of Lucy coaxing words out of me before I finally broke down and cried. What more could I have said or done? Everything I thought I had was ripped out from under my feet. God, I was so stupid. So foolish. So ashamed of myself. It was amazing how fast a person matured when someone destroyed your fantasy. I found out quickly that Prince Charming was only a toad, first loves were just a scam, and love only existed with one’s parents and sister.

  I could never love another man like I loved Scott. I wouldn’t even give anyone the chance after him. No one else would hurt me again.

  Good thing I was a mom. The last thing on my mind was a man. Well, except for the little man in my stomach. I rubbed it soothingly as I waddled to the hallway. Lucy had already carried everything to the kitchen.

  “Pizza again?” Lucy whined.

  “Just a couple of more days until Mommy gets paid,” I told her while patting her head. I paused a second. “Want to go to Mamaw’s and let her feed us?”

  Lucy bounced on her heels. “Yes!”

  I called my parent’s house and Dad answered, “Y’all coming over?”

  I smirked even though he couldn’t see. “We want spaghetti and peach cobbler.”

  “You mean you want peach cobbler? Don’t be using Lucy to get what you’re craving when you know your mom will make it if you simply ask. You wanted to be a mom that’s just the way it works.”

 
I rolled my eyes. “Fine. Tell her I want peach cobbler.”

  “Tell her yourself.” He hung up.

  Cranky old man.

  _____

  Dad did tell her I wanted peach cobbler. She was sticking it in the oven when Lucy and I arrived. When we entered the house, Dad got out of his recliner and took Lucy in the kitchen with him. I knew it was just a ruse to get up and let me have his seat. I groaned in relief as I laid back and propped my feet up. I didn’t get a chance like this at the apartment. I was always noticing all the cleaning that had to be done. It was a small reprieve from being on my feet all night too. I was trying to work for as long as I could before Eli came, but I didn’t think I’d make it much longer. Being a CNA at the nursing home was a lot of heavy lifting—a lot of everything to be honest. Although I lifted no one without an assistant, I shouldn’t be doing it at all this far along in my pregnancy. Georgie didn’t even know that sometimes I still did it because other workers moped around. I couldn’t handle not getting things done when they were supposed to. I’d admit the nights I worked with Georgie though, she forced me to sit around and would hardly let me do anything.

  I pulled my phone out and shot Scott a text.

  Are you still coming to get Lucy this weekend?

  Scott kept her every other weekend. It used to be every weekend. Lately, it was none at all. There for a while, I thought he’d give me a hard time over custody. He preached about how he was always with Lucy at night when I worked, and he didn’t want to put her through it. Boy, he fooled me again.

  It started out as delayed pickups to skipping entire weekends. But that was seven months ago when Lucy saw her dad every single day. Now she was lucky if she saw him once a month. Scott didn’t hesitate to point out that the situation was my fault. He mentioned we should work it out. I couldn’t believe how the words still came out of his mouth like a normal conversation.

  I supposed he expected me to be okay with him screwing my cousin while he was with me, especially in our room with our daughter listening in. He’d been with Briana after that night for a month, maybe two. Dad called her every name in the book when he saw her at another cousin’s party last month. They weren’t still together, but there had to be someone. Why else would he not come and see Lucy?