One Percent of You

by Michelle Gross

  “Yeah. What color are you going to use?”

  She frowned. “What color are we painting Bubby’s?”

  “How about blue or black? Something manly.”

  Lucy giggled. It even made me snort, but when Elijah’s dark eyes flicked over me, I stopped smiling and glanced down at Eli instead.

  ______

  “She gets bored quick.” Elijah’s deep voice made me jump. I’d been watching him draw on the car for so long in a comfortable silence. He raised a brow.

  “I hadn’t noticed how quiet it became,” I whispered. I laid Eli in his crib about twenty minutes ago when Lucy yawned and ventured into the living room—her normal routine. Instead of admitting she was sleepy, she’d go somewhere and close her eyes. I didn’t think she ever meant to fall asleep but she always did. “You can finish them another time…” I said absentmindedly.

  I could have kicked Elijah out a while ago, but we’d been sitting peacefully in the kitchen while he drew a white unicorn on Lucy’s pink car. He was very talented. No wonder he tattooed for a living. Elijah put a lot of detail on such a small car.

  “What do you want me to draw on Eli’s?” he asked, returning to painting.

  “Um, I’m not sure. Maybe just add some stripes or something? He’s too little to appreciate it right now.”

  He nodded with a thoughtful expression. “Never know. He might like doing this sort of thing when he gets a little older. I know I did.”

  “Seems like you still do.”

  His dark eyes lit up as he lifted them and grinned. “Seems like it.”

  I cupped the back of my neck, feeling that simmering heat in my stomach again. “Elijah…”

  “Hmm?”

  I was becoming uncomfortable, but after seeing Scott I hadn’t been able to get it off my mind. The words rushed from my mouth. “Why are you going out of your way with Lucy? If pretending to like Lucy to get in my pants or something is your aim, please stop.”

  He sat up straight and frowned. “Is that what you think?”

  “I’m not sure. Call it curiosity about what you’re doing.” I gestured to the thin paintbrush in his hand and the mess on my table. “Lucy gets used to having people around. She doesn’t do well when they disappear or ignore her. If that’s what you’re after—a chance to take me to bed—you should go.”

  “Fuck, Hadley.” The words weren’t yelled. They were low and pained like I’d offended him. Elijah tossed the paintbrush down. “If I wanted to sleep with you, I’d go about it a lot differently than this.” His words made my cheeks burn. “Truthfully, I don’t mind any of this. I don’t mind Lucy’s constant chatter or your tit leaking shit or the fact that you can’t do much but get upset or quiet around me.” He closed his eyes and leaned back in the chair. “It’s not that I want to get in your pants. I simply can’t help myself. I gravitate toward your little family.”

  I simply can’t help myself.

  I gravitate.

  I didn’t know why, but his words resonated deep inside me and lingered.

  He opened his eyes and frowned. “I should go.”

  “I’m sorry,” I murmured quickly. “You just make me nervous. I’ve never had a guy friend. Sure there were classmates in high school, but we never hung out so it wasn’t like we were really friends.” Fudge! I was babbling, a nervous habit. I wouldn’t be surprised if Elijah didn’t understand me.

  He pinched the bridge of his nose and stood. “You sound so young.”

  “Sorry.”

  “Stop apologizing.”

  “Fine,” I bit out, watching him grab the cars. “I’ll clean it up.”

  “I’ll take Eli’s and finish it, but Lucy’s is done. Just let it dry.” I nodded and turned around. I followed him to the door. Elijah faced me so quickly I almost tripped. He caught my wrist and helped me regain balance. “And it’s not exactly like our relationship is innocent. I’ve seen a little side boob.”

  I gawked at him. “God bless America! It’s called breastfeeding.”

  “A tit is a tit, even if it’s being used for nursing.”

  I wanted to smack him for that comment.

  “You said getting in my pants wasn’t your goal,” I reprimanded him quietly. “And I thought breastfeeding repulsed you? Your expression the first time my shirt got wet around you—priceless.”

  “Not repulsed… Fascinated. And that’s cute.”

  I scrunched my nose. “What is?”

  “The odd way you curse.” He mimicked me, “God bless America! Or fudgsicle.”

  I shoved him, burning red in the face, both fury and joy bubbled in my stomach. I didn’t know whether to laugh or be upset. Getting mad seemed to have won out. “Get out!” I hissed softly since my kids were sleeping. “And it’s called being a parent.”

  “Even if you don’t say the words, they’ll hear them somewhere else.”

  “You’re so annoying!” I grabbed the handle and opened the door, giving his body another giant shove. I knew he was only moving because he was letting me push him around. Otherwise, there was no way I could get him to budge.

  “I’m already out the door. How far are you going with me?”

  That was when I realized I was outside my apartment. I let go of him and turned around.

  “Goodnight, Hadley.” His deep voice was achingly soft and gravelly. My skin tingled. I gave in and whispered it back before I shut the door.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Hadley

  Elijah: How did Lucy like her unicorn?

  Me: She hates it.

  I’m lying…

  She won’t stop taking it everywhere.

  Elijah: Someone’s moody.

  Me: Never worse than what you are.

  Elijah: I’m honored at how well you know me.

  Me: I’m overfilled with joy.

  Elijah: You’re being a smartass, aren’t you? I mean, butt.

  Me: I don’t think we can be friends after all…

  Elijah: I finished Eli’s car. I’ll drop it off after work.

  Me: Ok. I should be off by that time.

  Grinning down at my cell phone, I reluctantly put it back in my purse and shoved it into my tiny locker in the break room. My thirty-minute lunch was almost over, but I heard the phone buzz as I shut the locker. Thinking it might be Elijah again, I quickly grabbed it and frowned when I saw it was a text from Scott.

  Scott: I’ll come get Lucy and Eli this weekend.

  I’d heard that one before.

  Me: I won’t tell Lucy and let her be disappointed if you don’t come.

  Scott: I’ll be there. I miss her. I miss all of us, Hadley.

  I didn’t know how to reply. I didn’t feel the same way. On that day, I recalled everything and saw what was wrong in our relationship clearer than ever before. There was no sadness or anger—just clarity. Scott’s actions helped me see that we never had a relationship. I had to allow him to see the kids although he kept breaking his promises. As for us, we were done.

  _____

  “So, tell me about this neighbor… The one Lucy keeps talking about.” I could hear Olivia’s grin through the phone.

  I groaned, ignoring the weird feeling that flooded my chest at the thought of my not-so grumpy neighbor. “It’s not like that, so get rid of that tone.”

  “What tone?” She played dumb.

  “The one where you think you know something and you don’t.”

  “Hadley, you know it’s okay to have fun, right? You’re an awesome mom, and there’s nothing wrong with taking a day or two to have fun every once and a while. I’m sure Mom and Dad wouldn’t mind keeping Lucy and Eli a few hours so you can spend some time with Holly. Don’t you miss hanging out with her?”

  I sighed, rubbing my forehead as I washed dishes. “They do enough with me working. I’m not asking for more help.”

  “How about I come in and stay a few days before school starts back? Let you go out a night or two.”

  The idea was tempting, but then I l
ooked over at the kids and felt guilty. I chose this life. It wasn’t fair to ask others to raise Eli and Lucy while I enjoyed myself. “No, it’s okay.”

  “Hadley,” she groaned. “At least enjoy the neighbor's company.”

  “What?”

  She laughed. “Lucy told me he’s been over the last two nights.”

  “It’s not like tha—”

  “I know, chill,” she said with a sigh. “So he’s not such a bad guy, anymore?”

  “I don’t think so…”

  “Good, you could use a friend.”

  “You make me sound pitiful.”

  “You are pitiful.”

  “I’m hanging up.”

  “Love you. Tell the babies I love them.”

  “I will. Love you.”

  Perfect timing. The second I set my phone down on the counter, there was a knock on my door.

  Elijah.

  Wiping my hands on a dishtowel, I strode to the door. His man scent flooded my nostrils as I opened it. Someone showered before coming over again. I noticed his hair was still damp as he thrust the car out toward me. “Here you go.”

  “It’s amazing,” I told him honestly, then waited to see what he planned to do next. He simply shifted his feet side to side and waited expectedly.

  Sucking in a breath, I asked, “Would you like to come in?”

  “Elijah!” Lucy screeched as she ran toward us. My daughter pushed past me and grabbed his hand. “Want to watch a movie?” He simply laughed and let her lead him inside.

  Not even fighting my smile, I shut the door.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Elijah

  “How’s that?” I asked the customer as he stood in front of the mirror and inspected the eagle I tattooed on his chest.

  “It’s awesome man, thanks.”

  “Glad to hear it.” I nodded, pleased with my work. I turned around and disinfected the area.

  Once I was finished, I pulled out my phone, disappointed when I saw there weren’t any text messages from Hadley. It has been a little over a week since I’d spoken to them, and I didn’t have any excuses to go see them since finishing the cars. Lucy made us watch The Croods that night. I had a good time laughing my ass off. As she said goodbye I realized I wouldn’t mind another movie night with them.

  “Jesus, just text her yourself and stop waiting around,” Wendy muttered from across the room.

  I scratched my brow and contemplated her words before finally saying, “What would I say?”

  Lance glanced up from the back he was tattooing with wide eyes. “How the fuck did you go about talking to any other woman before the mom? Just call her up or text her.” He shook his head before resuming his work. “I’m worried about you.”

  I was worried too. I couldn’t stop thinking about Hadley and the kids or hoping to run into them again.

  Cocking my head to the side, I finally found her name on my phone and sent her a text.

  Elijah: How is Lucy liking her car?

  I had already asked this the last night I’d been over, but I was a little desperate. It took about fifteen minutes before I got a reply.

  Hadley: She loves it although she’s a little disappointed it’s more for decoration than to play with.

  Elijah: I can get her some to play with…

  Hadley: No! She has plenty.

  Elijah: Okay. But I don’t mind.

  Hadley: Haven’t heard from you since last week… been good?

  I sat taller in my chair. She was asking about me? She never asked about me.

  Elijah: Yeah. I had to go to my other shop over the weekend, but I got home Sunday evening.

  Hadley: Yeah, I noticed your truck was gone all weekend.

  She noticed? Did she search for me with those big, blue eyes? That made me bolder.

  Elijah: Would you guys like to come over this Saturday? I’ll order pizza, and we can let Lucy rent a movie for us to watch?

  Was that a little odd? Maybe, but I really didn’t fucking care at this point. I wanted to see Lucy, maybe argue with her some, and I wanted to stare at her mom until she got all red in the face.

  Hadley: Actually, I think their dad might come for them this Saturday. but who knows, he was supposed to last weekend and didn’t.

  I wanted to tell her she could come over herself, and we could hang out but that would send the wrong message. The blood rushing to my cock was proof that getting the mother alone wasn’t a smart move, no matter how tempting. She’s too young, too innocent. I was older and the asshole who stole her daughter’s chips.

  I didn’t know why but being with them was just…easy.

  My phone dinged with another text from her.

  Hadley: But, if he doesn’t show, we can…?

  I grinned.

  Elijah: Sounds good.

  ______

  Like any other night, I stayed up late drawing while listening to music and drinking a cold one. Alone. I thought of Lucy’s love for ponies and cars and drew her something. It was six before I laid down that morning. Five hours later, I was up and getting ready for work. I was excited to give the portrait to Lucy this weekend. I had a feeling she would like it. I put it in an eighteen by twenty-four inch picture frame, the size I used with everything I drew or painted, and I hoped she’d want to hang it up in her room.

  On Friday, I got the text that bummed the hell out of me.

  Hadley: Lucy and Eli went to their dad’s so, maybe next weekend?

  I didn’t really know Hadley, but I knew her enough that I’d scare the fuck out of her if I invited her over alone.

  Elijah: Sounds good. Any plans?

  Hadley: My friend Holly wants me to go out tonight, but…You’ll think it’s silly.

  Elijah: It’s our thing. I think you’re innocent. You think I’m an asshole. Go on.

  Hadley: LOL. I feel guilty for wanting to go out without the kids. Deep down, I know nothing’s wrong with it, but I can’t help but wonder if they’re having a bad time while I’m out without them. I shouldn’t have said that. You won’t understand.

  She was right, I couldn’t understand. As far as I could tell, Hadley put her kids above herself and no one could say otherwise. If anyone deserved to have a moment to themselves, it was her.

  Elijah: You’re right. I don’t understand. You’re Lucy’s world, and anyone that has eyes can see how much she loves you. Have fun, Hadley. It’s okay if you’re only 99% a mother, at least save 1% for yourself.

  Feeling honest, I quickly added.

  Elijah: I’ll still hang out with all percentages of you. Frankly, I think you’re pretty badass. Even Eli beams at you like you’re more than his milk supply.

  Hadley: Thanks. For some reason that makes me feel better about going.

  I smiled.

  Elijah: Have fun.

  ______

  I’d been working for the last four hours on a half-sleeve tattoo. It still wasn’t complete when the chime sounded on the parlor door. The blonde that controlled my thoughts strolled in with another girl around her age. Honestly, I didn’t notice the friend much. One look at Hadley and all thoughts exited my mind.

  Her long hair was straight, falling over her back and shoulders. It was the first time I’d seen her hair down since Lucy’s and my birthday, and its length surprised me. It was a nice change from those messy buns that made her look ridiculously more appealing every time I saw her. She wore dark skinny jeans with a white halter top that, thankfully, didn’t hide her bust size. On her dainty feet were plain flip-flops. She wiggled her red-painted toes and holy fuck I was lost.

  She was sexy in a cute way. The slight bit of makeup she wore barely made her appear older. When her eyes found me in my little corner, her ocean-blue eyes twinkled and that bashful smile knocked me off my hinges, it was so powerful and radiant.

  “Can I help you, ladies?” Lance got up immediately, his gaze sweeping over and devouring Hadley in the same way mine had probably been doing.

  She shook her head, tuck
ing her hair behind her ears. “I’m just here to see Elijah.” She jerked her thumb over her shoulder in my direction, not noticing I was walking toward her. She glanced over Lance’s shoulder and studied the parlor. Meanwhile, Lance’s gaze was on me. “So this is your shop?” she asked, turning back to me.

  I nodded. “Yeah.” I cocked my head and let my eyes rake over her. “Did you come for a tattoo?”

  “She wants one, but she’s too chicken,” her friend replied.

  “Yeah, one day maybe, but not today,” Hadley blurted, placing her hands together at her stomach.

  “It’s not all that bad,” Lance said. “You’ll have to come to me when you find something you like.”

  I scowled and said, “What he means is, come to me. I’ll do you right.” Lance snorted, but I ignored him.

  Her friend grinned while Hadley’s face turned a shade of red.

  “Are you the mom?” Lance asked.

  “Mom?” That only made her blush deeper. There was something vulnerable in her pout and the hopeless confusion in her eyes as she glanced at me for an answer.

  “Yeah. Elijah mentions your family quite a bit.” Wendy piped in while tattooing someone.

  “You got time to tattoo me?” her friend asked, looking at Lance.

  “Sure, what are you looking for?” he asked. I caught her friend tapping Hadley’s shoulder and nudging her closer to me as she sauntered off with Lance. Hadley stiffened.

  “Sorry about them.” I ran my hands through my hair and frowned. “I do mention you guys a bit. Your kid has somehow weaseled her way into my circle,” I admitted. “She’s not so bad for a kid.”

  Hadley laughed. “I’m glad you’ve changed your opinion about kids.”

  “Don’t get crazy now. I only like your kids.”

  I shouldn’t have said that. Her mouth fell open, those rosy cheeks became rosier, and she looked down at her toes.

  Changing the subject, I asked, “So what brought you here?”

  When Hadley lifted her head, I saw hurt shining in her gaze. Even the wrinkling of her nose screamed that somehow I’d offended her. “How come you didn’t tell me how well-known you are?”