“Maybe she’ll change her mind later,” Elijah whispered to her.
“Come on, Lucy.” I hefted Eli into my arms and watched as Elijah handed Lucy two bags loaded down with what she quickly picked out to take to the apartment.
It only made me feel distressed. I hated being upset with Elijah of all people. It hurt my soul, but I was scared and frustrated about Lilly and Scott. I didn’t know what they would do.
“Bye, Elijah…” There was a sadness in Lucy’s tone as she said it.
“Hey…” I ignored him, walking faster. His footsteps grew louder as he ran. “You’re that upset with me?” I peeked down at Lucy who was keeping close to him and he sighed. “Will you talk to me later?” Like clockwork, my phone started going off, and Elijah glared at it. “Just tell him to fuck off.”
“See, it’s not that easy,” I muttered as I resumed walking. “Come on, Lucy.”
She took my hand as we walked away from Elijah. With every small step she took, she glanced back.
Chapter Forty
Hadley
“Mommy, stop crying,” Lucy hugged her knees as she continued watching me from the floor. She hadn’t left that spot since we got home.
I finally answered Scott’s call once we were inside the apartment, only for me to drown out everything he yelled in my ear.
I was mentally drained after listening to him.
It had been hours, and Scott still harassed me with phone calls and texts. Everything had been perfect. We were having a great time until Lilly saw us shopping with Elijah. The longer I sat there, the more confused I was as to why it was such a problem for them that Elijah was in our life. It wasn’t fair that Scott had nothing to do with Lucy and Eli but got mad when someone else did something with them.
Why did I have to experience all this turmoil and fear? Why did I have to worry that someone would come and take them away when they were happiest when with me?
I shouldn’t have to. I shouldn’t even be threatened by their father and grandma like that.
But realizing that only made me cry more.
More text messages came in. I was hesitant to pick up my phone and view them thinking it was going to be Scott.
Elijah: I’m worried. Will you please let me come up?
Elijah: I can’t stand knowing that you’re up there crying over something that’s not even worth crying over.
You big buffoon. Why did he have to be so hot-headed? I loved that he defended me but hated the way he spoke to Lucy’s grandma right in front of her.
Elijah: Is Lucy mad that I yelled at her mamaw?
I peered down at Lucy after reading his texts. She stared at me with round eyes. “It’s been a long day, hasn’t it?” I asked.
“When are we going to Elijah’s?” she asked instead.
“We’re going to stay here tonight.”
“Why?”
“Because…”
She frowned. “You said I could always see Elijah if I wanted to, no matter what anyone says.”
“I never said you couldn’t.”
“Then why are you crying?”
I sighed. “It’s nothing for you to worry about.”
“I don’t want to go to Meme Lilly’s anymore!” She jumped up suddenly and ran off. I got up and followed her. She was belly-first on her bed.
“I’m not making you go to your meme’s house.” I sat down beside her and patted her back.
“I hate it there! All they do is say mean stuff about you, and it hurts my feelings!”
I always knew they would talk about me, but what I never understood was how much it hurt my little girl. It felt like a knife straight into my heart.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I whispered.
“Because I didn’t want to make your feelings hurt too.” She sniffled. I wiped my eyes and scooped her up in my arms. She hugged me tightly.
“Shh. It’s okay.” I rubbed her head. “I won’t ever make you. I’m sorry. I just wanted you to spend time with your dad.”
“He’s never there!”
“It’s okay. You don’t have to go there now.” Her head lifted, red, puffy eyes stared at me. I smiled. “Let’s go back into the living room with Bubby.” She nodded and let me carry her. “What do you want to eat?”
“Pancakes?” She shrugged hesitantly.
“At seven in the evening? Sounds good to me!”
_____
“It’s dark out now,” Lucy whispered as she stared out the window.
“It’s close to bedtime now,” I told her as I nursed Eli.
“When are we going to Elijah’s?” She asked for the hundredth time. “He’s waiting on us.”
“Let’s give him a break.” I wasn’t feeling too good about the way I’d treated him. The more I replayed it in my head, the more I liked that he just stepped in. Lilly was the one being ridiculous. Every harsh word Elijah said was the truth. And Lucy… She never once spoke of being upset with him. The only thing she was worried about was going to his house.
Oh, fudge. I was emotional and stressed. I just wanted Elijah to make it all better, even though I was the one to cause the situation. I let my anxiety and worry over Lilly seep in and ruin the happiness I’d felt with that man.
That had to stop. I had to stop letting Scott destroy our lives. He had no right.
“Why do you want to go over to his house?” I asked Lucy.
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I just like when Elijah’s with us.”
“Lucy, why do you like Elijah so much?”
“He buys me stuff.”
I chuckled. “You’re rotten.”
“Can we go now?” She grabbed my arm and pulled. “I’m going to tell him you’ve been crying.” She dropped my arm. “Give me your phone. I’m calling and telling him.”
“Is that supposed to scare me?” I asked her with a smirk.
“No. It’s to make you stop crying. Elijah will stop the tears.”
I didn’t even question my four-year-old. She was right.
“Go put on some pj’s while I change Bubby.”
Her eyes twinkled. “Are we going to Elijah’s?”
How could I be so foolish to let one confrontation make me feel so terrible? Look how happy Lucy was… We were all happier when I was with Elijah.
“Yeah, we are.”
She jumped up and down. Unease coursed through my body as I changed Eli. I didn’t bother to change my clothes. All I could think about was how Elijah must have felt when I abruptly pulled away the first time something bad happened.
I was ashamed, and the need to cry was present all over again.
I held Lucy’s hand on the way since it was dark out. I probably should have told him we were coming over but just getting us all together again was all that mattered in the end.
My knuckles tapped on the door twice before I dropped my hand to my side and gripped Lucy’s hand again. Nervous jitters swam in my stomach when I heard his giant footsteps nearing the door.
Our eyes met the second he opened the door, and in the process, all my anger seemed childish and absurd. The few short hours I’d spent away from Elijah felt like a lifetime, and seeing him then… His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed and drank me in, like he was surprised and happy I came that night. That was all it took for the tears to spring from my eyes. “I’m sorry,” I croaked out right before his big, comforting arms enclosed around Eli and me.
“Thank fuck. I was on my way out. Was going to break in if I had to. You expected me to sleep alone now when I’m so used to being next to you?” His mouth was hot at my ear and his voice was a raspy whisper, making my skin tingle and burn as I pressed my wet face into his shoulder. Eli babbled incoherently as he pulled at Elijah’s shirt.
“Me too!” Lucy pulled at my pants leg.
Elijah bent down and scooped her up. “You too.”
Her little arms went around Elijah and me and honestly, this moment was the best ever. “All together again,” Lucy said cheerily, an
d I laughed, getting all choked up in the feelings that were so good they’d make anyone cry.
There was a lot of crying that night.
As I stared up at Elijah’s stubbled chin, and then his dark eyes came into view and softened as he smiled at Lucy, everything was good again. Nothing was ever wrong with us to begin with. Elijah did something I wished I had the nerve to do—talk back. I promised myself on the walk over there that I’d learn to stop letting people have control over how I felt about myself. I knew it would take time. Good thing I had Elijah around. I was suddenly more than okay with him standing up for me, I was so tired of doing everything by myself.
Without words, he said every day with his actions, “I got you,” and my brain was finally catching up to my heart. I believed in him wholly.
“We watching a movie?” he asked Lucy.
“Yes!”
“One,” I told them. “Then we have to go to bed.”
“Yay!”
Chapter Forty-One
Hadley
I awoke to the credits rolling on the movie Lucy had picked out. I didn’t remember falling asleep, only the brief memory of the start of the movie then nothing. The first thing I noticed was how warm I was and also cramped. I was lying curled up to one of Elijah’s legs which took up the entire couch. How did that happen? I glanced up and saw that Lucy and Eli were lying on each of his sides. All three of them were asleep. Eli was spread out, arms in Elijah’s face, as he hung halfway off his chest and partially on his arm. Lucy was curled up to his side, butt hanging off the couch, mouth wide open.
It filled my heart completely. The fierce, undeniable loyalty and surge of protection I had for Elijah. We meant something to him. Just like he meant something to all of us. I was so tired of Lilly and Scott saying what a bad influence Elijah was on my kids.
He wasn’t. He was completely in tune with himself and gave no apologies for it. I hoped that when my kids were older, they strived to live their lives the way they wanted just like that. And when he loved, he did it completely.
I’d been feeling his heart with his actions months ago…
Slipping my tingly arm from beneath one of his legs, I climbed out from between them. I grabbed Lucy as gently as I could and carried her up to the bedroom she and Elijah had claimed for her. I turned on the nightlight as I left.
Elijah jolted forward when I pulled Eli from his chest. He already had that the-baby-is-moving sixth sense. His sleep-filled eyes were sexy as he took me in cradling Eli to my chest. I brought my finger to my lips so that he knew to be quiet. He rose slowly, cracking his neck as he followed me into his bedroom where I froze at the doorway. I saw that he bought a crib and put it up since the last time I’d been there.
He stepped in front of me and adjusted the blanket in the crib, so I could lay him down. The second I placed Eli down, I rounded on Elijah. He caught me by the waist, pressing me snug against his muscular chest.
Every time we stood close, touching or apart, I was left in awe with how much bigger he was compared to me. No wonder he was so imitating when I first saw him —his size, tattoos, and angry glare. But I had found comfort in his strength. Safety. A place to unravel and let go of my worries. Even when it was time to step away from the peace his arms brought me, he’d be there to take on my troubles with me.
“I hate the way I spoke to Lucy’s grandma in front of her, but she was being a bitch,” he said, breaking the silence first. His large, calloused palm smoothed over my chin and tipped my head upward. In the darkened room, his brown eyes were like black orbs. At that moment, they were equal furious and begging. Elijah’s furrowed brow told me he was still upset.
“I never told you before, but I don’t allow anyone to talk bad about Scott or his family with Lucy present. I don’t want to raise her to hate him just because my family doesn’t like him, but now I’m starting to wonder why I even tried. Scott is making Lucy not want to have anything to do with him without my help. I’m sorry for the way I shut you out. Lilly had me so embarrassed and hurt. When you ignored me at Walmart and yelled with her, it upset me even though part of me was deeply touched that you defended me.”
Elijah’s mouth pressed a hot kiss against the tip of my nose. It shouldn’t be sexy, but it was. His breath fanned my cheeks, and the soft, firm press of his lips ignited tingles through me. He tucked my hair behind my ear and whispered, “I’m sorry that I was so furious you thought I was ignoring you. I just couldn’t let that woman talk to you that way, and I was slightly ticked that you allowed it.” The harsh truth of his words heated my cheeks. “I want to ask you something, and I want you to be honest with me, baby.”
I shivered in his hold, forever loving that I was the someone he called baby. I was never going to get over it. Elephants were stomping around in my chest, trembling my heart with a brilliant stream of happiness. All from that one word.
“What is it?” I waited, anticipating fear from what he was going to say.
“The way Scott’s mom acted today is that how they’ve always treated you?”
My stomach fell to the floor, bile rose in my throat. I lowered my eyes and when I did, I could feel the tension coiling up in his body. The muscles in his arms flexed and rippled as they tightened around me. There was an incoherent, growl vibrating in his chest before he moved us further away from the crib and hissed. “I can never be okay with that shit, you hear me?” He tipped my chin upward again, making me meet his intense glare. “Never. You better hope that Scott never comes at you the way his mother did. I don’t care that he’s Lucy and Eli’s father, I’ll knock his fucking teeth in since he’s a man—”
“Elijah.”
He continued, “I’m serious. I’m fucking pissed that you of all people are spoken to that way. You’re an awesome mom and an amazing person. I know that. Those fuckers know that. You never take a moment to yourself. Your kids are always with you unless you’re at work. Hadley, you go above and beyond.” His hands rubbed my arms as tears fell.
I’d needed someone to tell me I was doing okay. It wasn’t easy to parent. There were some days you were scared you were failing miserably.
“It’s got to stop, baby, you can’t let them tear you down every time they see you.”
I shuddered, more tears and snot. “I know,” I croaked. “I’m tired of trying for them. Lucy doesn’t want to go, and I haven’t felt comfortable with the idea of her staying with them in months. I don’t care how much crap they give me, I’m done. Until she wants to go see them, I’m never making the effort for them again, but I’m scared.” My voice wavered. “So, so scared they might actually try to take them from me.”
“Everything’s gonna be okay,” he whispered gruffly. He wiped my nose with his fingers, unbothered that he was touching my snot as he used his shirt as a tissue, then he hugged me. “I know there’s no point in telling you not to worry because you will anyway, but believe me when I say you don’t have anything to stress about. You’re a great mom, and you’re completely stable with a job and an apartment.”
Eli grunted in the crib and we both froze, waiting to see if he awakened. When it was clear he was just grunting in his sleep, Elijah grabbed the baby monitor and led me toward his master bathroom. “Let’s go take a shower.” Once we were through the doorway, he flipped on the light switch and disappeared on me. I could hear him shutting the bedroom door in case Lucy woke up.
Anticipation made me shiver. Even my fingers were tingling with the need to touch him. I was completely enthralled with him as he stood in front of me and tugged off his shirt. His demons moved as his muscles and tendons flexed. He was so sexy, sometimes I thought he might be too much for me. It didn’t help that he was a jerk to ninety-nine percent of the population, I knew the kind of lingering looks he got from women. I noticed it every time we were out together.
He caught me staring, gaped mouth and all, and that smoldering grin took over his features. “Do I need to undress you too?” he asked while unzipping his jeans.
&n
bsp; I snapped out of it. Blinking rapidly and shaking my head, I had a flustered moment of trying to take my shirt and jeans off all at once which earned me a chuckle from Elijah.
“Come here,” his voice was so soft and sweet like a purr, and I might as well have been a snowman. I took two tiny steps and melted into his arms.
“I’m going to get on your nerves a lot more in the years to come,” he said as he grabbed the bottom of my shirt and lifted it over my head. “You’re precious to me—you, Lucy, and Eli. I’ll never let you get treated poorly again even if I have to smack your ass a few times to build up some backbone in you.”
He squatted in front of me. I swallowed nervously and glanced down as he unbuttoned my pants and rolled them down my legs with my panties. He smirked at me and smacked my butt. I yelped and rubbed my stinging backside. Ow. He actually put some effort into that.
“I don’t think that will help anything since it’s my soft personality that needs deliverance,” I told him.
He took over rubbing my butt cheek as he stood. “Probably right, but it’s going to be fun all the same.” He smacked it again.
I winced. “Heyyy. That hurts.”
“Got a nice ring to it, though.”
I was trying very hard not to laugh, but it was impossible with him smiling.
“Now for the tits,” he went on, snaking a hand around and unclasping my bra. As soon as they sprang free, he groaned and scooped me up. “Fucking hell. You’re killing me.” Heat fanned my skin as his erection bobbed and slid up against me. The feel of him bare and without a condom caused my entire body to quiver. I wrapped my arms and legs around him and rubbed against him once, letting his erection slide between my lips and against my clit before he pulled me inside his shower. He closed the glass door as he stepped in with me.
I didn’t realize his showerhead was one of those that you could hold in your hand until he was taking it off and pulling it away from us as he adjusted the temperature. My nipples pebbled. The chill in the air and the desire coursing through me were both to blame. I admired the firmness of his backside and how every part of him was well-built.
One Percent of You Page 26