“As you wish, my queen.”
Michael held up his hands for quiet as the laughter spread through the ranks. With a nod from Katherine, Michael smiled and said, “All who are willing to come are welcome indeed. But we are ready to leave now.”
“As are we!” the men cried as they tried to contain their brilliant smiles.
Michael looked helplessly at Katherine as she too tried to keep from smiling. With a defeated gesture, he mounted his horse and off the whole party went.
The group moved slowly, for while Katherine had resigned herself to return home, she was in no rush. The young king and queen allowed the group to move at a leisurely pace, rest often, and eat much. Two weeks after they left, they came to a familiar grouping of trees. Katherine became sullen and would speak to no one. Michael tried to convince her to talk to him, but she wouldn’t. Often she went off by herself, to pray she said. Unfortunately, she came back angrier than before. No one could understand why she was acting so strangely. The men tried to comfort her; they played songs and games by the fire every night. Nothing would console her. Instead, she remained morose and distant.
Michael was becoming desperate, he begged her to confide in him; but she refused. He urged her to tell the men to hurry on so they might be away from whatever it was that troubled her. She responded by ordering them to stop. So, for two more weeks they stayed by this certain grove of trees and impatiently waited. Michael stopped asking Katherine what bothered her and spent his nights with his men. Finally, he went to Adam for advice in a moment of desperation.
“What am I to do with her, Adam? I’ve tried everything, and I don’t know what else to do.”
“She still refuses to speak of what’s troubling her?”
“Yes!” Michael stood to his feet and paced around the fire. “I have begged, pleaded, and I am simply worn out with worry over her.” He sat down. “Why won’t she speak to me?”
Adam leaned over to his friend and replied, “Why don’t you try to speak to yourself?”
“What are you talking about?” Michael stared at him as if he had gone crazy.
“Ask yourself if there’s a reason Katherine would be so upset by this place. Do you know the reason without asking her?”
Michael thought hard. Then he sighed, “Adam, the only thing that happened in this place is Katherine’s kidnapping and our first encounter. She is no longer in danger from the kidnappers, and I would think that our meeting place would bring about happy memories. Why does it fill her with distress?”
Adam sighed as well. “I do not know, my King, but at least you have a starting place to work from now.”
Katherine tossed and turned in her bed. Michael lay sleeping soundly beside her, oblivious to her misery. The nightmares filled her head with words and pictures.
“Your father is dead.”
“Katherine is dead!”
“Her god sent her on a foolish mission!”
“You are Queen.”
The words flowed together in a confusing tangle.
“Where do you come from?”
“Adven.”
“Who is your father?”
“My father is dead.”
“An arrow struck me, Michael.”
“People who love you will never forget you or take you for dead.”
“I thought he loved me!”
“They are words of a very wise king. He was very much like yourself.”
“I am not a King.”
Images of her father,…bleeding, dying,…Michael, what is wrong? The image of her father was replaced with the image of her husband.
No! Michael, don’t die! I need you! I love you!
GOD, WHERE ARE YOU?!
She awoke in her bed with Michael still sleeping beside her. The men outside were snoring, and all was peaceful.
The prayer at the end of her dream echoed through her mind.
“God, where are you?” The tears flowed down her cheeks and soaked her pillow.
Michael stirred and rolled over. He lazily opened his eyes, yet seeing his wife crying sat up wide awake.
“What’s wrong? Katherine, are you hurt?” His voice was frantic, and just a touch sleepy.
She wiped her face and shook her head. “It’s nothing, Michael, go back to sleep.”
He watched her as she rolled over and tried to go back to sleep.
“Sleep well, my love.” Michael kissed her and lay back down, hiding his hurt at her seeming lack of trust.
Katherine muffled her sobs in her pillow.
Chapter Six
The next day Katherine went out into the forest once again. She was searching, always searching. She couldn’t find it, and it troubled her. She sat on the ground sobbing pitifully until it grew dark. How could I forget so quickly?
Michael thought and thought and thought. He could think of nothing other than what he had told Adam. Why did this place trouble Katherine so? Why couldn’t he figure out what was worrying her?
As he stormed out of his tent in time for supper, he noticed Katherine wasn’t back yet. He slumped down beside Adam who was eating and laughing heartily.
“How can you laugh at a time like this?”
Adam turned to him. “A time like what?”
“This!” Michael angrily replied.
“You still cannot figure out what is wrong with her?” Adam said, trying to keep the laughter from his voice.
In answer, Michael stood up and stormed back into his tent. After a few minutes, Adam followed him.
“You must not be so worried over her. She will tell you when she is ready.”
Michael sprawled on his bed and looked at Adam. “I have to worry. She’s my wife and the queen of my people, and her people as well! How can I pretend nothing is wrong and go on with life?”
Adam sat on the bed beside him. “I am not saying that, but I am merely suggesting that you wait patiently for Katherine to tell you whatever it is that’s bothering her. She will tell you; it just may take some time.”
“We don’t have time! Winter will be here in a few months and we must reach Katherine’s people before then. She is being ridiculous.”
“No wonder you cannot understand her problem!”
Michael looked at him, his eyes were trying to form a question.
Adam sighed. “What I mean is simply this: you cannot understand her problem until you understand her. Has she been mentioning anything that might suggest she is angry at someone or something? Or has she been acting lonely or homesick? Besides her forest visits is there anything else that would suggest the cause behind her moodiness?”
“No, except…” Michael trailed off remembering how Katherine had awoken distraught in the middle of the night. “I think she might have had a nightmare last night.”
“What about?”
“I don’t know.”
“Do you have any idea at all?”
“I don’t know, Adam.”
“What about…”
“I said I don’t know!”
Michael’s violent outburst startled himself, as well as Adam. He groaned and sat up. “I’m sorry, Adam. It’s not your fault. I’m just so worried about her.”
“My King, please wait and ask her yourself tonight. She will tell you; I am sure of it.” Adam stood up and walked to the door of the tent. He turned back to face Michael. “She will tell you. I trust God that she will.”
Michael nodded and lay back down on his bed. I will ask her when she returns. I will know then. She will tell me. It was difficult to believe his self-assurances.
Sleep overtook him, and he drifted into a dream.
Katherine stood to her feet, ready to give up the search for the night and go home. Maybe she was being foolish. They should go on. Eli would be waiting for her. She should forget about it and move on.
It was at this point in her musings that she realized it was very dark, and she was very far from the camp. The wind blew through the trees and made her shiver.
Where am
I?
The trees all looked eerie and mysterious with branches seemed to reach for her as she walked past them. The wind moaned as it whistled through the tree limbs. Everything frightened her, and she was eager to be home in bed with Michael.
Then suddenly it hit her.
“I’m lost!” she cried out with dismay as she saw that her wonderings had carried her so deep into the trees that she would never find her way out.
“Someone help me! It’s me…Katherine! Michael?” her cries trailed off as the tears overtook her. “Please someone help me…”
“Your Highness? It’s Adam. You must wake up; Katherine is missing.”
Michael groaned and rolled over to face Adam. “What is it now?”
“Katherine hasn’t returned yet. No has seen her since early this morning.”
Michael jumped out of the bed and grabbed his sword. “We have to find her. She could be anywhere. Why haven’t you left yet?”
Adam put up his hand. “There is more. One of the watchmen saw a large gathering of people to the east. They looked like a very large war camp.”
“What is their country of origin? Their standard?”
“There was none to be found.”
Michael knew instantly who they were. “It’s imperative we find Katherine immediately.” He pushed past Adam and mounted his horse outside.
Adam followed him and mounted his own horse. As he pulled up alongside Michael he asked, “Why?”
“Her kidnappers have returned.” Michael said gravely. He swung his horse around, and they headed into the forest.
Katherine turned around in circles, not wanting to stray far from her original spot. The trees all looked the same, and they haunted her. Images of her father stalked her every move, and she wished with all her being that she had not insisted they stop. The nightmare rang through her head, clear as a bell, even though she was not sleeping. How would she ever make it stop?
Exhausted, she slumped to the ground. Will I never make it home, God? Her tears began to flow again and she wiped them away. I don’t have time for that! I’m a queen of Adven, and queens don’t cry! At least, I don’t think they do.
Right then Katherine felt very much like a lost little girl. She wished with all her heart that she could curl up in a little ball in her mother’s arms and cry for hours on end. She didn’t feel like a queen or a wife or…
I certainly don’t feel like a mother! Katherine rubbed her stomach, ever so gently; she wasn’t certain yet, but she suspected. Michael doesn’t even know. What will he say? He’ll be happy of course, but he’ll smother me. A smile crossed her face. Ralyn’s baby should be due in just a few months; our children will grow up only a few months apart. Katherine scrunched up her face and thought hard. None of it matters if I don’t get home.
With that she stood to her feet and began walking in circles again, making as much noise as she could.
Michael’s horse shied at the thought of entering the dark forest. Michael coaxed him onward and ordered Adam and his men to follow him. Adam and Michael led the men deeper and deeper into the forest, calling Katherine’s name over and over, hoping to hear her voice in response. They searched the trees trying to catch a glimpse of her dark blue dress blowing in the wind or her blond hair capturing the light of the moon. Michael’s thoughts whirled with her. Every picture his mind had ever had of her flitted through his thoughts.
The men scoured the forest. No corner was left unturned. Michael was close to despair when they heard a wailing over the increasingly loud wind. A woman’s shrill wail pierced the night.
“It’s her! It’s Katherine!” Michael cried out over the wind. “Over to our left! Find her!”
Adam led the men into the howling wind and the now pouring rain. They found Katherine huddled on the ground over a little mound of earth. She was wailing inconsolably. The rain soaked her dress and her hair, and still her tears streaked her face.
“Father! Father! How could I have forgotten! How could I ever forget?” Her cries echoed across the forest.
Michael dismounted and ran to his wife. “Katherine! Katherine!”
The wind whipped her hair into her face. The tear streaks stained her cheeks, and her blue eyes looked at Michael mournfully. “He’s dead, Michael. Father’s dead. I never got to say good-bye. He never met my God. Our God, Michael. He never met Him. He died, and I never got to tell him I loved him!” She collapsed weeping into his arms.
Michael held her and kissed her wet hair. Her moans subsided eventually. She buried her face deep into his chest and fell asleep. Adam cried out over the wind and rain, “We’d best be getting her back to the camp! Who knows what those other knights are planning.”
He helped Michael lift Katherine into the saddle, trying their best to not wake her. She was in a deep sleep and didn’t stir, even though they jostled her quite a bit. The wind howled and the rain poured, but Katherine stayed asleep. All the way back to the camp she slept. And as Michael and Adam carried her to her bed, she slept a sleep so soundly nothing would have woken her.
Katherine awoke to the sound of packing. The whole camp had been torn down while she slept, and the only thing left was her and Michael’s tent. The men stood in groups talking and laughing. The horses stamped their feet impatiently while the men finished their breakfast.
She scanned the crowd looking for Michael. He stood off to one side, watching the work and listening to Adam. He held the reigns of his horse and rubbed her nose with his other hand. His eyes danced from one person to another, observing the work and the interaction between them. Occasionally he would nod in response to Adam.
Then he saw her. His eyes ceased their wandering and watched only her. They reflected his joy at the sight of her and his concern for her wellbeing. Adam noticed that his King was no longer listening to him and stopped talking. Gently he took Michael’s horse from him and led her off to the other horses. Michael barely noticed, but began to walk towards his wife, his Queen.
Katherine shifted her feet nervously. How could she explain? She hadn’t told him about her father, about the reason she was out here in the first place. She hadn’t spoken to him about the reason she was reluctant to head home. Why should he even trust her? She shook her head. He was her husband, the love of her life. Of course, he would understand. He understood her, didn’t he?
“Katherine, you’re up. Did you rest well?”
She nodded.
Michael hugged her. He didn’t say anything more; but then again, he didn’t need to. He knew she didn’t need comfort; she didn’t need a lecture…she needed his love.
Katherine let herself fall completely into his embrace, soaking in his love. The time would come, she promised herself. She would tell him, but for now she would stay here, wrapped in her husband’s embrace.
The group moved off, hurrying its pace to make up for lost time. Michael and Katherine led, laughing and talking like nothing was wrong; but Michael knew. He knew something was wrong, the way she had been acting wasn’t her. Although she had returned to her normal self this morning, he knew that something had happened last night. He would have to ask her about it, and it would have to be soon. He glanced quickly behind him, but the strangers were no where in sight.
The men set up a temporary camp for the night and cooked a hurried supper. Katherine sat off to one side, eating quietly and thinking to herself.
I must tell him soon. He must know about Father and the baby.
Her thoughts were interrupted by Adam. “My Queen, are you well today?”
“Yes, thank you, Adam.”
He sat down beside her. “The King was quite worried about you yesterday. Where did you wander off to?”
Katherine stared at the ground.
“Your Highness?”
Not a word.
“Katherine?”
She looked up, and their eyes met. “Katherine, whatever is wrong can be mended. Give it to God and confess it to Michael. ‘Cast all your cares on me,’ says our God.”
Katherine nodded and stood up. “Thank you, Adam. I will talk to Michael now.”
As she walked quickly away, Adam smiled. God, what do you see in this girl who is trying so hard to be woman?
Michael stood on the other side of the camp watching and observing. When he saw Katherine rise up and come towards him, he turned and walked a distance away so they could speak privately. She came up and touched his shoulder.
“Michael?”
He turned and looked her in the eyes. “Katherine.”
“Michael, I suppose you wonder what happened yesterday.”
“The thought did cross my mind.”
“I wanted to tell you why I was in the woods all those months ago. My Father had gone off to war two years ago. I waited anxiously for a letter from him, but it never came.” She took a breath to steady herself before continuing. “Finally, I heard that he had died. In my grief, I tore out on my horse to find him to prove it wasn’t true.” She moved closer to Michael and looked straight into his eyes; the tears spilled onto her cheeks. “It was awful…” The tears overtook her, and she collapsed.
Michael pulled her close and for the second time that day just held her.
That night Michael slept fitfully. He knew that his wife was sleeping better than he for the first time in months. Time moved slowly toward daybreak, and still he hadn’t slept at all.
As soon as it was light enough, the group moved on. They moved quickly yet with caution, aware they may be followed. Scouts patrolled the road before and behind. They gave no sign of intruders. And while the scouts watched the road, Michael watched Katherine. She looked much better than two days ago and gave no sign of her former trauma. Still, he watched her, and she watched him. There was something else, he was sure of it.
“Michael? Is something troubling you?”
He shook his head and smiled at Katherine. “No, just eager to get you home.”
“Home. I think I’m finally ready to go home.”
She got a faraway look in her eyes and then smiled a silly smile at him. Perhaps that was all it was. She was homesick, was that what he sensed? Michael shrugged off the feeling. Katherine was homesick, that was all.
To Love in Peace: 10th Anniversary Edition Page 4