Murder Al Dente

by Nancy Skopin

  Eli arrived at the Bellagio and gave each of us a hug before seating us in the black Lincoln Town Car he was currently driving. When Elizabeth, who was in the front seat, told him where we were headed, he said it was a good choice. Apparently Eli had a friend who was a “performer,” and purchased all of her lingerie at 4 Real.

  Here’s the thing about underwear shopping at a high-end boutique. There’s always a sales person who thinks you need help finding a bra that fits. Seriously. Like you can’t tell whether the bra fits or not? I am not interested in having a woman I don’t even know adjust my girls. So, rather than participate in this activity, I stood off to the side and let Lily guide Elizabeth to what she thought were the sexiest undies while I went through my e-mail on my iPhone.

  Two hours later Elizabeth and Lily each had a fuchsia shopping bag filled with delicates wrapped in tissue paper, and all three of us were sporting rose-colored, heart shaped, sunglasses. Elizabeth texted Eli, and he arrived promptly to chauffer us off to our next destination, which was the Mandalay Bay Hotel and Casino. Apparently they had a 1.3-million-gallon aquarium in which visitors could view Galapagos sharks, grey reef sharks, zebra sharks, sea turtles, and stingrays. What could I say? It was her wedding day. Whatever she wanted to do was fine with me.

  We managed to make it back to the hotel by 5:00 that afternoon, leaving us just enough time to shower and dress before our appointment with Elvis at Graceland. Eli had the evening off and Elizabeth invited him to the wedding. He was delighted. Since he had use of the car during off hours, he’d volunteered to drive us to the chapel.

  We were waiting outside the Bellagio at 5:45 when Eli arrived to pick us up. He had changed into a sleek, black satin jumpsuit and wore a couple of gold chains around his neck. He looked like a slightly darker version of the Elvis we’d met, who would be officiating at the wedding.

  We all piled into the car, Lily up front with Eli this time, and made the short drive to Las Vegas Boulevard. A pink Cadillac was parked directly in front of the chapel. We entered the lobby and checked in with the receptionist, who confirmed that we were scheduled for the six o’clock wedding. We were a little early and there was a ceremony in progress, so she asked us to have a seat. Elizabeth had elected not to pack her wedding gown and risk suitcase wrinkles, so she was wearing an ecru, cocktail length, off-the-shoulder dress with a full skirt, and peep-toe matching pumps. Lily wore a hot pink, form-fitting, floor-length gown that showed off her athletic physique. Jack was in a white dinner jacket, white shirt, black slacks and tie, and I wore my indigo blue cocktail dress with ankle strap sandals.

  We could hear Elvis performing in the chapel down the hall. The couple being married had chosen “Can’t Help Falling in Love.” It was a good choice. Elizabeth and Jack went with “Love Me Tender.” When the happy couple came out to the lobby with their wedding party, we were escorted back to the chapel where Elvis was waiting. Tonight he was dressed in a Navy blue, bell bottom jumpsuit covered with elaborate beadwork. Elizabeth giggled when she saw him standing at the alter holding his guitar. The guy really did look a lot like a young Elvis, but with a distinct Pacific Islander vibe.

  Lily started filming immediately, not wanting to miss a moment of this impromptu production. Elvis played “Love Me Tender” as Jack and Elizabeth walked down the aisle together. Lily followed and then stood off to the side, so she could get all three of them into the frame. Eli and I chose to stand a little behind and on their left. We all waited until Elvis finished his performance, then Jack and Elizabeth turned to face each other, both obviously lost in love, despite the comical situation.

  Elvis set his guitar on a nearby stand and picked up a page from the altar in front of him. “Dearly beloved,” he began. “We are gathered here today to join Elizabeth and Jack in holy matrimony. This is a celebration of love, of commitment, of friendship, and of two people who are in it together for life. Who stands with this woman as she is joined with this man?”

  Lily stepped forward, camera still in hand, and said, “I do.”

  “And who stands with this man as he is joined with this woman?”

  I stepped up to Jack’s side and said, “I do.”

  “In spite of all our differences,” Elvis continued, “love is what we all share. It’s the great unifier. Our universal truth. No matter who we are or where we come from we all know one thing. Love is what we’re doing right. That’s why Jack and Elizabeth are standing here today. We have all loved in our lifetimes and in this moment we’re reminded that the ability to love is the best part of humanity. Do you have rings?”

  Lily and I produced Elizabeth and Jack’s wedding bands and handed them over.

  “Elizabeth, do you take Jack to be your husband regardless of the outcome?”

  “I do.”

  “Repeat after me, please: With this ring, I thee wed.”

  “With this ring, I thee wed.” She slipped the gold band on Jack’s left hand.

  “Jack do you take Elizabeth to be your wife regardless of the outcome?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “Repeat after me, please: With this ring, I thee wed.”

  Jack held Elizabeth’s left hand in his. After sliding the band on her finger to join the massive engagement ring he’d given her, he kissed the palm of her hand and said, “I pledge to love you every moment for the rest of my life.”

  “Close enough,” said Elvis. “By the power vested in me by the Universal Life Church, I now pronounce you husband and wife.”

  Jack pulled Elizabeth into his arms and kissed her with enough heat to compensate for the over air-conditioned chapel. When they broke the kiss and turned to face us, I could see that Elizabeth was fighting back tears of joy. Lily moved down the aisle walking backwards as she filmed them leaving the chapel while Elvis sang, “Can’t Help Falling in Love.”

  The certificate of marriage had already been completed by the officiating Elvis, whose real name turned out to be Kahoni Palakiko. The receptionist had Elizabeth and Jack sign underneath Kahoni’s signature, and placed the certificate in a cardboard frame for them.

  Now that they were legally married, everything else should be smooth sailing. On the way back to the hotel we discussed where and how we wanted to celebrate. I suggested the Baccarat Bar but Jack said he didn’t want to smell like cigars on his wedding night. He had a point. Elizabeth is anti-smoking. We finally decided on Lily’s and, once again, invited Eli to join us. He politely declined, saying he had plans to get together with some friends. He dropped us off in front of the Bellagio and we said our final goodbyes, as we’d be taking our rental car to the airport tomorrow. We’d hardly used it, but it was good to know it was there if we needed it.

  Lily, Elizabeth and I hugged Eli before he left, thanking him for everything. We all had his cell number and Elizabeth made sure he had ours as well. She also made him promise to call if he was ever in the San Francisco Bay Area.

  Jack declined a hug, but when he shook Eli’s hand I saw him slip the young man a small stack of bills. Eli looked at it in confusion, but Jack clapped him on the shoulder and said, “A small token of our appreciation.” Eli’s face lit up and he grabbed Jack in an enthusiastic embrace before climbing back into the Town Car and driving away.

  “You’re such a softy,” Elizabeth said to her new husband.

  Jack nodded. “That I am. But, it’s no good having money if you don’t spread it around.”

  After having cocktails at Lily’s, we dined on the patio at Spago facing the Bellagio fountains. It was an enchanted dining experience and Wolfgang Puck’s menu was an absolute delight.

  CHAPTER 32

  I called Bill before going to sleep that night, but my call went to voicemail. I was dying to tell him everything I’d found out from Michael, but knowing the information was obtained illegally would put him in a very awkward position, not to mention probably getting Michael in trouble, so it wasn’t an option.

  My sleep was interrupted by dreams in which I was confronting Va
nessa in an effort to get her to confess on tape and she responded by shooting at me with Chet’s Colt M1911. Needless to say I was not at my best when I crawled out of bed on Sunday morning.

  I put in a quick call to room service, begging for the strongest dark roast coffee they had, and lots of it. They said it would be about fifteen minutes, so I jumped in the shower, hoping to wash some of the cobwebs away. I’d just finished dressing in shorts and a T-shirt when there was a knock on my door.

  I checked the peephole and, once again, instead of room service it was Lily. I opened the door and looked behind her, hoping the coffee wasn’t going to take much longer. I am not a people person when I haven’t had enough sleep and no caffeine has been provided.

  This morning Lily was dressed in a pair of turquoise Capri pants and a lacy white blouse with ruffles on the bottom.

  “Cute,” I said, and welcomed her inside. I heard the elevator ding and leaned back out into the hall, hoping for room service and my much-needed hit of wakeup juice. I was in luck. A room service waiter rolled a cart out of the elevator and turned in my direction.

  “Is that for me?” I asked, sounding only a little manic.

  He glanced down at the ticket. “Thirty-three twenty-four?”

  “That’s me!”

  The young man smiled as he rolled the cart into my room. I’d only requested one cup with my carafe of java, so I grabbed it off the tray before Lily could get her hands on it. I signed the check, and the server moved the coffee tray to my table then rolled his cart out into the hallway.

  I had a death grip on that coffee mug. Nobody was getting between me and my morning caffeine. I poured the dark, rich brew into the cup, leaving room for cream, but I wasn’t willing to set it down in order to open one of the individually wrapped creamers.

  “Would you open a cream for me, please?” I asked as sweetly as I could manage under the circumstances.

  Lily grinned wickedly. “Afraid to set your cup down?”

  “You ate all my bacon and avocados on Friday. I’m not giving you my coffee.” I growled.

  Lily laughed as she peeled the foil top off one of the tiny creamers. “You want the whole thing in there?”

  “Yes, please.” I needed my fix and fast. A little more cream meant I could drink the first cup faster.

  Lily dumped the cream in my cup and I inhaled the wonderful aroma for a moment before taking the first sip. Heaven. I swallowed, inhaled, sipped, swallowed... you get the idea. Half way through my second mug of java I sighed in contentment.

  “Good morning, Lily,” I said.

  “There you are,” Lily exclaimed. “I thought I’d lost you for a minute.”

  “You’re a riot. You know I can’t function without coffee in the morning.”

  “Maybe you should join a support group.”

  I almost snorted coffee out of my nose, but managed to swallow before responding. “Shut up.”

  Lily just laughed.

  When I’d finished the whole carafe I felt almost human.

  “What’s on the agenda for this morning?” I asked.

  “Well, we don’t have to be at the airport until one.” She checked her watch. “That gives us almost four hours to either shop, go sightseeing, or gamble.”

  “I never gamble. I assume Elizabeth and Jack are sleeping in?”

  “I haven’t heard from her this morning. They were probably up all night celebrating.”

  “Should we text Elizabeth, in case she wants to meet us for breakfast?”

  “Good idea. I’m starving and that buffet was incredible.”

  I saw more bacon and sausage in Lily’s future. I sent Elizabeth a text telling her that Lily and I were going to breakfast. When I didn’t receive an immediate response I grabbed my shoulder bag and we were on our way.

  The line was longer than it had been yesterday, but not by much, and Jack and Elizabeth arrived just as we were about to be seated. They were both glowing. I knew that glow. They’d been celebrating, all right. I was happy for my friends, but I missed Bill. I could use a little glow myself.

  We ordered mimosas before making our buffet selections. We were going home this afternoon, so I’d probably never have another chance at a breakfast buffet like this one. I requested the crepes filled with pork sausage, crab meat, and horseradish. While they were being prepared I grabbed half a pink grapefruit. I figured that would balance things out. When I got back to the table, the first thing I did was snatch a strip of Lily’s bacon.

  “Hey!” she said. “Get your own bacon?”

  “Why?” I asked innocently. “You’ve got enough for all four of us.” Then I grabbed one of her sausages before she could stab me with her fork.

  Elizabeth was feasting on a fruit platter with a side of yogurt. I guessed she was back on her wedding gown diet. Jack had a short stack of pancakes with strawberries and crème fraîche on top.

  When our server stopped by the table, I asked for coffee. I’d need something to keep me awake if I finished my breakfast.

  After eating, we decided another shopping trip was in order. Elizabeth wanted to buy gifts for her friends at work, Lily wanted to see if she could find any FMPs in her size, and I wanted to get something for Kirk to thank him for watching over Buddy while Bill was at work. Kirk has a soft heart when it came to dogs, but he’s also a manly man. I was at a loss about what to get him until we stumbled into a novelty shop and I spotted a John Wayne classic coffee mug. His photo was on one side, cowboy hat and all, with the line “A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.” Perfect. I also purchased a mug for Bill. This one had a picture of Richard Boone from his Paladin series with the, “Have gun will travel” slogan on the back. Bill would love it.

  Lily found a pair of FMPs in her size, and Elizabeth purchased Las Vegas key chains, shot glasses, personalized poker chips, and a few decks of cards with photos of scantily clad showgirls on them.

  We made it back to the hotel around noon and everybody went to their rooms to pack. I stowed my gift-wrapped coffee mugs in the suitcase with my clothes, wrapping them carefully in garments so they wouldn’t get broken. I’d be carrying my own suitcase on board so I wouldn’t have to worry about careless baggage handlers.

  When I went downstairs to check out, Jack had the rental car waiting at valet parking. He caught me on my way to the front desk to settle my bill.

  “It’s already taken care of,” he said.

  I opened and closed my mouth a couple of times before he snatched my key card out of my hand and turned it over to the concierge.

  “Let’s go home, Nicoli.”

  “Thank you, Jack. You didn’t have to pay for my room.” With the room service charges I was looking at close to a thousand dollar tab. Sure, Jack was a millionaire, but still.

  He didn’t respond. He simply picked up my carry-on bag and led me out into the heat. Lily and Elizabeth were already seated in the air conditioned BMW. I climbed in the back with Lily and sent a text to Eli, thanking him again for being such a great tour guide during our stay.

  We made it to the airport with plenty of time to turn in the rental and check in for our flight home. Once at the gate, I dug out my Kindle and resumed reading about Hetta Coffey’s latest adventure.

  CHAPTER 33

  I happily collected my Bimmer from long term parking and drove to the marina, anxious to see my dog and my man. Traffic was light for a Sunday afternoon, and I made it to Redwood City in less than twenty minutes. I didn’t know if Bill would be working today, so I scanned the marina parking lot for his Mustang. I didn’t see it in the owners’ lot or the nearby visitors’ lot.

  Buddy’s distinctive bark sounded the moment I walked through the gate. He must have heard my car. I eased my way down the steep companionway and then ran the rest of the way to Kirk’s boat. Not that I was in a hurry. I just didn’t want my boy to dive overboard in an effort to get to me. Buddy might be half Golden Retriever, but he’s also half Rhodesian Ridgeback. The Ridgeback half hasn’t learned
how to swim yet.

  I dropped my suitcase on the dock and clambered onto the Bluewater’s swim step, pushed open the gate to the aft deck, and was immediately tackled by two large, wagging dogs. D’Artagnon probably didn’t know what the big deal was, but if Buddy was happy, so was he. I hugged my boy for as long as he’d allow before struggling to get more licks in. When he was younger Buddy wasn’t much of a face licker, but that’s changed over time. Now Bill and I get regular kisses. I knocked on the hatch to let Kirk know I was taking my boy home, but there was no answer.

  I snapped Buddy’s leash to his collar and gave D’Artagnon an ear scratch before we made our way on down the dock to Turning Point, Buddy prancing the whole way. The pilothouse cabin was locked so I dropped the leash and dug in my shoulder bag for my keys. I unlocked the door and let Buddy in ahead of me, set my suitcase down inside the pilothouse, and opened the hatch. Buddy leaped down into the galley, and I picked up my suitcase and backed down the steps.

  The Cheoy Lee smelled like home with a hint of bacon and this morning’s coffee. I took a deep breath and just let the feelings of comfort surround me before going into the stateroom to unpack.

  I took Kirk’s gift-wrapped, John Wayne mug out of my bag and set it on the galley counter. I’d drop it off later tonight. I left Bill’s Paladin mug in the stateroom. I wanted to surprise him. I tossed my washable clothes in the hamper, hung up the dresses that would need to be dry cleaned, tucked my shoes in the locker, and put my cosmetics and haircare items away. When my carry-on bag was empty I tucked it back into the lazarette under the companionway.

  I checked my watch and saw that it was almost 6:00 already. My stomach reminded me I’d skipped lunch, so I looked in the refrigerator to see what was left from my last trip to Whole Foods. Not much.