by Cathryn Fox
“I’m going to wash you up,” he says quietly.
I exhale a contented moan, and whimper slightly when he places a warm cloth between my legs.
“Oh, that’s so nice.”
His touch is soft, so achingly gentle, it seeps into my bloodstream and drags me under. I try to open my eyes, but they are too heavy, my body too weak.
“Rider,” I say again.
“Shh,” he whispers as the mattress dips beside me, and the next thing I know, he’s spooning me from behind, his warm hard body pressed against mine, taking me deeper and deeper into a place where nothing exists but this man.
* * *
Many hours later, I peel my eyes open, and nearly jump from my bed when a warm body shifts beside me. Memories from last night infiltrate my sleepy brain, and I roll to my side. The second I look at the man stretched out, his bronzed body hard and beautiful, my need for him catches me off guard. My God, he did the most beautiful things for me, and to me, last night, and instead of reciprocating, I fell asleep in his strong, protective arms.
Guilt eats at me, but it’s short-lived, because as I take in this sleeping man, I understand last night played out the way he wanted it too. He wanted to take care of me, and got as much enjoyment out of it as I did.
Well, that’s fine. But this morning is all about him, and no way am I going to spend one moment examining how happy I am that he hadn’t snuck out under the cover of darkness.
But I might spend two.
11
Rider
I moan as my cock thickens, a warm mouth doing the most delicious things to my body. I shift in the bed, half asleep, and move against my pillow. I grip the headboard slats, and groan. Fuck, I must be dreaming. If I am, I sure as hell don’t want to wake up. Not when I feel this good.
The soft moan from between my legs pulls me wider awake, and I blink my eyes open. I lift my head and my heart jumps at the gorgeous sight of Jules nestled between my legs, her lush lips around my cock.
“Jesus,” I say and Jules glances up at me, her long hair falling over her shoulders as she worships my cock. “Jules…” My voice is hoarse and breathless, but it’s not from sleep.
“Good morning,” she says.
“Yeah.” Christ, she’s reduced me to one-word responses.
“I figured since you put me to sleep like this, it’s only fair I wake you up the same way.”
“I like the way you think,” I murmur, and grab a fistful of her hair. I tug until her lips part, and she dips her head and takes me to the back of her throat. “That feels so good, babe.”
“Mmm,” she moans, one hand fisting me as the other goes to my balls. She rubs softly, gently, and works both her mouth and hand over my hard length. Man, how I’d love to wake up like this every morning—with her. But I don’t do sleepovers.
You just did, dude.
But I can’t think about that right now. Not when Jules is working my cock like it’s her goddamn job. “You are so good at that.”
My encouraging words do something to her, and she takes me deeper, until she’s choking a bit. I grip her hair and try to pull her back, but she won’t have any of that.
“Oh my fuck,” I say and hold on for the ride.
My body tightens, every sensation centered between my legs as she licks the pre-cum from my crown and moans like it’s the best thing she’s ever tasted.
“You’re killing me, baby,” I moan, and her soft chuckle reverberates straight to my balls and brings on an orgasm. I tug on her hair to move her off me, but she shakes me off. Oh man, is this really happening? I never come down a woman’s throat, but goddammit, I want to fill this woman with my cum. I want in her body, everywhere. I want a part of me in her when I leave her place today, and that is totally fucked up.
Unable to hold it back, I spurt my seed into her, and she gulps and swallows and tries to drink me all in, but I’m coming so hard I spill out of her. My body spasms, and convulses and I lift from the pillow to see her pretty face as she laps at me. I finally stop coming, and this time I’m able to tug her off me. She keeps her hands on my balls, a soft, soothing massage as I wipe her mouth clean.
“You’re incredible, Jules.” She smiles at me. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“I wanted to,” she says.
“But ladies first,” I say and tug her to me.
“Today we’re playing by my rules,” she says and settles on my chest, yawning. My heart pounds hard against her cheek as I try to come back from that mind-blowing climax. I brush her hair from her face, ready to put my mouth between her legs, but she sighs softly and closes her eyes. “Still tired?” I ask.
“I am.”
“We were up late.”
“Yeah,” she says softly, dreamily, like she’s remembering all the things I did to put her to sleep.
“Do you want to sleep?”
“For a little bit,” she murmurs.
“Okay, you rest, and I’ll make us something to eat.”
“You don’t have to do that,” she says quietly. “I can cook after a quick nap.”
“It’s okay. I’m awake. I can’t stay long anyway. I have practice this afternoon.”
“Oh, okay,” she says quietly, a hint of disappointment in her voice. I lean down and place a soft kiss onto her forehead, and she smiles up at me. It produces a tightening in my chest, right around the vicinity of my heart.
“Sleep,” I whisper, and she rolls to the side. I stay put, until I hear her soft breathing sounds. Once she’s asleep, I quietly climb from the bed, and make my way to the bathroom. I splash water onto my face, and snatch my clothes off the floor. I dress and Peaches curls around my legs when I exit the bathroom.
“Oh, nice to me now, are you?” I whisper. “Only because you’re looking for food.”
She curls around my legs, and I grip the rail before I tumble down the stairs. Maybe that’s her plan after all. “Just so you know. I outed myself to Jules. You no longer have anything over my head.” Christ, when did I start talking to cats? I follow her and she’s all sweet peaches until I fill her bowl. No longer needing me, she offers her tail and saunters away. “Yeah, that’s what I thought,” I say.
I spend the next few minutes making coffee and whipping up some eggs. I swallow half the brew in my cup, giving Jules time to rest, and as the caffeine works its way through my body, I feel much more alive. I have practice this afternoon, which means I should have been in my own bed, getting a good night’s sleep. But no, I couldn’t keep my hands off Jules. The woman is an addiction I can’t quite quit.
I take her plate of eggs, and coffee and head upstairs, but she’s still fast asleep when I enter her room. I gaze at her for a moment, all warm soft and adorable twisted in the sheets. I don’t have the heart to wake her, so I fix the bedding around her, and leave her to sleep the day away. As hard as it is to walk away, I make my way back downstairs put the scrambled eggs in the fridge, and pull my cell from my pocket and send Jules a text.
* * *
Rider: Eggs are in the fridge. You were sound asleep and I didn’t want to wake you. I’ll catch up with you later.
* * *
I hit send, tuck my phone back in, and with the key she’d given me last night, head outside and lock up behind myself. The laughter of kids playing at a nearby park reach my ears and my stomach knots. Jules moved into an up-and-coming neighborhood with young families. No matter what she says, she wants this. She wants the white picket fence, the kids, and all the animals.
So, what’s holding her back? I revisit last night’s conversation.
I couldn’t save him.
I don’t have to be Einstein to understand someone very important in her life, someone she loved dearly, had died, and it left her feeling helpless, and vulnerable—a big gaping hole in her heart. But life is fucking short, and she can’t remain in hiding forever. She needs to experience more instead of just going through the motions. She needs to feel the thrill of living again. I’m not sure why
that’s so important to me, I only know that it is. But with her, baby steps are required, so baby steps is what I’ll give her.
I stop at home, shower quickly and grab my gear. An hour later, I’m at the rink and the guys are all pouring in. We have an out of town game Wednesday and I need to get my mind on that, and off Jules. I also need to finalize Kane’s birthday party Saturday night. I tighten the laces on my skates and glide out to Kane as he takes a shot on the net.
“Hey,” he says, his gaze moves over my face. “You don’t seem as keyed up as you were yesterday.”
“Got a good night’s sleep,” I say, and steal the puck from him after the goaltender Alek, aka the Puck Charmer, shoots it back to us.
“Oh, is that what you got last night,” he teases.
I check him with my shoulder. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I spent the night with Lindsay. Jules is her best friend, remember?”
“Yeah, I remember.”
“Girls talk, bro.”
We slap our sticks on the ice and fight for the puck. “Yeah, so I went to her place. What’s the big deal?”
“Nothing. Glad to see you getting out.” He steals the puck and shoots it. It pings off the net and I go after it, but Kane is faster, getting to it first. “You two getting serious?”
“No,” I say quickly.
“Good, because Alek,” he says, nodding to the net, “saw us out at karaoke. He was wondering who she was.”
Anger bubbles up inside of me. But Kane is watching me closely, so I tamp it down. “Oh yeah. She’s not his normal type.” I laugh, but it’s edgy. “He’s called the Puck Charmer for a reason, and it’s not because he stops all the biscuits from going in the net.” Alek might be the biggest player on the team, but I like him, I really do, but goddammit, now I want to wrap my hands around his neck and squeeze.
“Yeah, he likes the bunnies, but—”
“But nothing. I’m not letting a guy like that around Jules.”
“So you like her then?”
Fuck.
“Of course I like her. We’re friends, and I’m not about to let her get mixed up with a guy who only wants her for sex.”
“Um, how is that any different than the relationship you have with her?”
“We’re friends, Kane. I just said that. Do I need to talk slower, use smaller words?” I shoot back, ribbons of anger wrapping around my chest and suffocating me.
Kane throws his hands up, and skates back a few inches. “Whoa, bro. Just a question.”
“I’m sorry,” I say. Shit, why am I acting like a possessive prick? This is my bro, and doesn’t deserve shit from me. “I think maybe I didn’t get enough sleep last night.”
“It’s okay. Come on. Let’s go practice.”
I follow him to center ice, my thoughts racing. Honestly, if Jules wants to go out with Alek, who am I to stop her? I can’t give her more, not that she’s asking, and while Alek might be a player, lots of guys on the team were before they met the right woman. Jules is definitely the kind of nice girl any guy would change for. Who knows, maybe the two will find true love. I mean, I want that for her. I wouldn’t want to come between her and happiness. If that means standing back while she dates Alek, well then…
Fuck me.
We spend the next couple hours doing drills, and I’m not sure why, or maybe I am, but every chance I get to shoot the puck at Alek—harder than necessary in a practice—I take it. Soon enough he’s looking at me like he can’t understand what the fuck is wrong with me.
Once practice is over, we make our way to the locker room and Coach follows us in. He’s casting me curious glances, but I avoid him. I change, and head out before he can call me on my shit. We have a game in three days and I need to get my shit together.
As I drive home, my cell rings and I hate how much I hope it’s Jules. I check the phone, and it’s Jaclyn, asking if I can stop over and watch the kids for an hour while she goes to yoga. Since Caleb isn’t home yet, and Lord knows the woman can use a break, I turn my vehicle around. Odd though, she usually calls Kane first. Then again, maybe he’s hooking up with Lindsay this afternoon. Which reminds me, I need to call her and give her directions to my place so she can bring Kane there Saturday night for his surprise party.
Shit, earlier Kane said the two women talk, hell they’re best friends, so they likely share everything, which means Jules would know about the surprise party. I should invite her because we’re friends, but what would the guys think? I never take a woman to any of the parties or events. I actually usually pick them up there if I’m looking for a hook-up. Would Jules want an invitation, or not? I mean, she doesn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea any more than I do. She straight up told me that.
I drive along Jaclyn’s street slowly. Numerous kids are running around like they’re hyped up on energy drinks. Mothers chase their kids as fathers kick back in their lawn chairs and tend to the ones running through the sprinklers on this unusually hot spring day.
I creep down the road and pull into Jaclyn’s driveway. She’s already at the door waiting for me, and gives me a grateful hug when I enter.
“Thank you,” she says. “The kids are all lotioned and they’re excited to go to the park.”
“Go,” I say and give her a nudge.
“Are you sure you’re okay taking care of them alone?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I think.”
“I would have called Mom and Dad, but Kane…”
She lets her voice fall off.
“What about Kane?”
“Oh,” she shrugs and fusses with something in her purse, like she can’t bring herself to look at me. “He just said you weren’t doing anything today, and probably wouldn’t mind.”
“How thoughtful of him, and I don’t mind.” I like her rug rats, but she’s never left me alone with them before. Not that she doesn’t trust me. She just knows when it comes to kids, I’m a little out of my element. Then again, am I? How many homes have I been in where I had to step in and be the big brother, take on the protective role?
“Uncle Rider,” Cameron says as he comes barreling down the hall, Carly and Carter right on his heel. The twins jump onto my feet for a ride and Cameron is talking nonstop about Fortnight.
“You sure you got this?” Jaclyn asks, her nose crinkled.
“Yeah, I got it.”
“There are phone numbers on the fridge if you need help, and snacks in the bag for the park. I’ll only be an hour.”
“If I need any help, I know who to call.”
“Oh, who is that?” she asks with a hand on her hip.
“Just a friend, who is good with kids.”
“Care to elaborate?”
“No, now go before you’re late.” I practically push her out the door, and three excited children bounce around me. “Okay, who wants to go to the park?” A chorus erupts around me and I scoop up Carter as he holds his hands up to me. Carly wants up too, so I put her on my other hip. “Cameron, can you grab the bag.”
We step outside and we wave Jaclyn off as I lock up and make my way down the sidewalk. We get greeted at nearly every house and I can’t help but think this neighborhood isn’t much different from Jules’. We cross the street, take the corner, and run into a yard sale. My eye instantly goes to the old round table with claw feet. The piece is old and tired, but with the right touch it could be magnificent.
I set Carly and Carter down and get all three to hold hands while I step up to the owner of the house. The little ones grumble with the delay, but no way can I walk away from such a treasure. Jules would love it and I want to put a smile on her face more than anything.
“How much for the table?”
The elderly lady with silver hair smiles at me. “Those are Jaclyn’s little ones.”
“Yeah, I’m their Uncle Rider,” I say, even though technically I’m not their uncle. Dammit, I really want to be, though.
“I know who you are,” she says. “I’m a big fan.”
“Thank you.”
“For you, that piece is two hundred dollars.”
The kids grumble some more and tug on me. The lady laughs and I whip out my wallet. “Can you hold it for me? I’ll pick it up in about an hour.”
“It’s yours.”
“I really appreciate it.”
“Good luck on Wednesday’s game.”
I eventually get the kids to the park, and Cameron heads to the slides as Carly and Carter go to the swings. I push them and keep one eye on Cameron. My God, I have no idea how Jaclyn does it. After a few minutes with the three, I’m ready for a nap.
The hour goes by pretty fast and we make our way back home to find Jaclyn pulling into the driveway. She looks far more relaxed now than she did earlier. Her face lights up when she sees us and I’m sure I spot a hint of relief in her eyes.
“How were they?”
“Excellent,” I say, and bend to give them all a hug.
“I really appreciate it, Rider. You’re a good uncle.”
“Well, I’m not really—”
“Hey,” she says and whacks me.
“Why are you always hitting me?”
“Because I don’t want to hear that kind of talk. You’re family. End of discussion.”
My heart warms. Yeah, they’ve all been my family since I was fourteen, and while I love them all, and appreciate them, there is a part of me that still feels the chasm. It might take having my own family for me to feel whole.
But I’m a nothing, a nobody, and any girl deserves better right? I mean, people only love me because I’m a hockey player, right?
Jules doesn’t even like hockey players.
Does that mean she likes me for who I am?
What the hell am I saying? We’re friends. Friends with benefits, but still. Just friends.
“You want to stay for dinner?” Jaclyn asks. “I made a ton of food.”