by G J Morgan
“And that’s it?”
“Pretty much.”
“Did he say anything about me and him. How he felt about me?”
“No, he didn’t.”
“You’re telling me you spent a good few hours with him and he didn’t say anything about me and him.”
“We didn’t talk much really.”
“I find that hard to believe, Frank, sorry. He must have said something. Told you about how we met. Or how things might change when I fly home. Frank, be honest.”
“Lilly. If you need to talk to Tom, you need to speak to him, not me.”
“I tried. I rang him like five times last night. I rang him this morning. He’s not answering. Did he say if he was leaving?”
“Said he had to drive home.”
“Did he mention LA? Flying?”
“Not to me.”
“Frank, be honest, you scared him off. Filled his head with whatever it took to make him hate me.”
“I did none of the sort. I’ve had enough of this interrogation. I’m going to the can for a bit of peace.” He left me and Sally to finish breakfast.
“You need to eat, Lilly.” Sally passed me more toast, trying to calm things. “Long day today. Long flight. Not long till we have to head to the airport.”
“Can’t wait.”
“Less of the sarcasm please, Miss Goodridge. You should be happy you’re going home.”
“I’m not going home, though, am I? I’m going to New York for some reason no one has bothered to explain.”
“Today’s attire is not coincidental then. Are you in mourning? Is this the reason for head-to-toe black? Protesting?”
“If only black came in a darker shade.” My sarcasm was deliberate and intentional.
“I thought you loved New York?”
“I do. Just not now.”
“You could at least sound a little bit more excited. Even if you have to pretend. Just for my sake.”
“Excited for what? Sounds like I’m going back into the fire.”
“Stop being so dramatic.”
“What’s the situation with this latest batch of photos of me? Are they out there?”
“Not yet.”
“Oh good. Least I’ve got a few days of tranquillity before the madness starts.”
“There’s something I need to tell you about that.”
“What? It’s not bad, is it?”
“It looks like this all stems from Mr Max Salter.”
“I’m not surprised. Have you spoken to him?”
“No. I’m just waiting on how he wants this to play out.”
“I’m not getting involved. He can do whatever he needs to do.”
“Might be wise to tag along. There may be logic behind the madness.”
“Are you for real?”
“Please don’t tell me this sulking is all over Tom.”
“What do you think?”
“Come on. You’ll have forgotten about him by the time we land.”
“I love him, Sally.”
“Oh please. I’ve had longer shits than your so-called love affair.”
“Me and him aren’t going away if that’s what you think.”
“I’m sure of it. I’m sure Max has lots in store for you and Tom. Never know, your bit of rough may do well out of this.”
“Are you on my side?”
“I’m always on your side.”
“Really?”
“What do you expect me to say? This isn’t the part where I say “Way to go, Paula, way to go.” You think falling in love with a dropout is something I would condone?”
“I expected you would support me, that’s all. Even if you don’t agree.”
“That isn’t me. If you want someone to agree and nod then you need to hire someone else.”
I went to storm off.
“Where you going?”
“Where do you think?”
“Running away? Aren’t you bored of that by now?”
“You could always stop chasing me. Ever thought of that?”
“Lilly. Where you going?”
“Don’t worry. I’m going upstairs.” I grabbed my cell, already looking for Max’s number.
* * *
I tried Max.
If he was in LA it would be around four in the morning, if he was even in LA. He could have been anywhere, across state, across another continent, could even be here.
I sat on my bed. Tried to think back to my last meeting with Max, the things each of us said, how things were left. Nothing good could’ve come from whatever plan he had. I had to hope it wasn’t going to be too painless, but I couldn’t see any other explanation other than to cause maximum devastation. What other reason would there be, where that wasn’t the sole intention? Unless Sally had gotten it all wrong, though she very rarely did. Jeez, I hoped that was the case. Other enemies I could cope with, enemies behind cameras and laptops, if it was Max it would be personal and vindictive. Max always said enemies were the best teachers, the one thing he taught me was perseverance, how never to give up. But what would he gain from it? Exposing me like this. Apart from to embarrass me. Surely, he knew this wouldn’t change things? Surely, he didn’t think this would win me back? Why would he even want me back? If his aim was to have me and my new English fling plastered across every magazine and internet page then why would he even want me back? I’d be used goods, dirty and damaged. He must have another reason, I just couldn’t work out what it was.
I tried again and again and again, till I ran out of time, till the clock told me England was nearly over.
40
We were at the airport. Departure lounge and a delayed flight. About an hour so far, though I predicted more delay to come.
Just before our car arrived to pick us up, Frank, Sally and I took a walk around the house, spent some time in the garden, one last lap of the house before we left. Made me nostalgic, made me want to return when I hadn’t even left. When the driver did arrive to pick us up, knocked on the door, I very nearly didn’t get in the car. Had to fight every bone in my body not to stay, it felt wrong to leave with so much unsettled. I’d always predicted this day would be hard, but I always thought, regardless of whether Tom and I were over or just starting, at least I’d know which one.
“Should keep us occupied till they replace the engine,” said Frank, placing a tray of drinks for me and Sally, some pastries, trash to read.
“Don’t joke, Frank. Some of us don’t particularly like air travel. Stupid comments like that only make it worse.”
“Here. Read this.” Frank offered me a magazine.
“The last thing I want to read about is gossip right now. Frank, you don’t have to serve us. They have staff for that.”
He didn’t answer, started to sugar and stir his coffee
“Please cheer up, Lilly.” Sally sipped her champagne. “There will be some amazing places we should see over the next few days. I’ll try my best to make sure we have some slack in the diary so me and you have time to shop and eat. New York won’t know what’s hit ’em.”
I smiled.
“First thing I’m doing is grabbing a dog.” Frank licking his lips. “Chilli, mustard, sauerkraut, the works.”
“I was thinking more Greenwich Village, Frank, not some sausage cart. Who are you busy texting?”
I looked up, realising she was talking to me. “No one.”
“You’ve been staring at that thing since we got here. Watching it isn’t going make it ring.” She picked at her bagel, removing salmon from cream cheese. “Hey just take it for what it was. You lived in another country for a few months, met lots of new people, even had a little holiday romance. That doesn’t sound too bad, does it?”
I didn’t answer.
“Sally, just leave her
be.” Frank, trying to defend me.
“Frank, I’m not having this silent treatment all the way to New York.”
“She’s hurting. Give her some space.”
“Don’t play Oprah here, Frank. I know you think the relationship was doomed from the start, too, so don’t act all innocent.”
“I’m just saying let her deal with it in her own way.”
“What, by ringing Tom? Making things worse? Do something stupid?”
“Guys,” I interrupted. “You’re doing it again. Talking like I’m not in the room.”
Frank huffed, picked up his newspaper, spread it across his lap and his face. “I’m not getting involved in this anymore. I’m out.”
We went back to silence.
“I’m not ringing Tom, you’ll be pleased to know. I’m trying to get hold of Max.”
Sally suddenly perked up. “Good idea. Try him again. I’m intrigued to see what he says for himself.”
“If I ring him it’ll be my choice not yours.” I got up, heading off towards perfume shops and handbags, with no intention of buying either.
41
“Can we feed the ducks, Dad?”
“We haven’t got any bread, darling.”
“Birds shouldn’t eat bread, silly.”
“Who told you that?” as we crossed the road onto the grass verge around the pond.
“Nanny did. Makes their tummies full.”
“What do you normally feed them?”
“Seeds from Nanny’s pocket. Do you have any?” sticking her hand into my jacket.
“Sorry. Just my phone and some keys.” I could see Molly’s face crumple. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure my pockets are fully stocked tomorrow.”
“I’m cold.”
“Me too,” I said, picking her up and crossing the road, letting ourselves back in. “Let me take your boots off.”
“Dad, I can take them off myself, look.” She sat on the floor, removing each boot from each foot, before dashing off inside the house, jumping onto my mum’s lap.
“Molly, be gentle,” I said taking my own shoes off. “Remember what we just talked about?”
“Just be a bit careful, darling. Nanny is still a bit sore.”
“Dad said you have lumps?”
“Yes, doctors had to do some checks on me. Try and make me better.”
“Where?”
“Here.” Mum putting her hand on her chest.
“Would you like some Calpol?”
“Yes please.”
Molly had already dashed off towards the kitchen.
“You had a phone call by the way.” She looked pleased with herself. “Lilly.”
“What did she say?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?”
“When she call?” I asked, sitting on the edge of the sofa.
“Just after you left.”
“I should ring her now.”
“You might be too late. She was just about to get on her plane.”
“She’s going home then?”
“Yes. Though I think she would rather be here with you by the sounds of it.”
I smiled.
“You relieved?”
“Yes. Thought I’d blown it.”
“Well you haven’t. Least by what I’ve just heard.”
Molly came bursting in, telling us off for not following her. I tried to call back Lilly, as Mum attempted to walk to the kitchen.
“Tom, make us all a hot chocolate. Seeing as I’ve not got long left, my diet is now firmly out of the window.” She leaned against the door frame, like the walk from one room to another was a walk too far. “She not answering, I take it?”
I nodded.
“Must be in the air by now.”
“Or on the phone.”
“You make us those drinks, Romeo,” she said as Molly fed her an empty Calpol spoon. “Then I’ll tell you everything she said.”
42
It was a relief to speak to her, it wasn’t Tom, but his mom was close enough, filled me with enough hope to last the journey. I started to make my way back to Frank and Sally, browsing at sandals and sunglasses, even bought a book, a thick one, Tom would be impressed.
The voice on the speaker told me and the rest of the airport that my plane was now boarding. When I got back to Frank and Sally they were already getting all our things together, when Sally saw me she started waving me over frantically.
“Where have you been?”
“Shopping.” Showing them my carrier bag.
“It’s the last call. We need to get a move on fast. Did you ring him?” Sally said, putting her bottle of water back in her bag.
“Yes.”
“So?” she said, looking excited. “What did he say?”
“Spoke to his mom actually.”
“You spoke to Max’s mom?”
“No, Tom’s mom.”
I could tell Sally wasn’t happy, nor Frank as he started to drag our hand luggage through the crowd.
My cell buzzed.
“I’m gonna take this. It might be Tom.”
“We haven’t got time.”
“Wait, it’s Max.”
Sally grabbed my bags. “I’ll tell the hostess. They won’t take off without us, I assure you. Frank, let’s both get all the stuff over at the desk.” I managed to answer it in enough time to hear Max at the other end of the line. To hear his apology or his list of demands.
43
“Would you like some more grapes, madam?” the gentleman asked me.
“Sorry, I’ve ruined your fruit bowl, haven’t I?” He didn’t answer, smiled, took away the remains of the grape vine, returning with a fresh bunch for me to pick at once again.
Typical of Max, he’d hired a suite in a hotel that disappeared into the clouds, always the show of wealth, the constant need for grandeur. We had Central Park just blocks away, little quiet corners we could’ve met in, little benches under trees, free of charge too. No, Max choosing here was intentional, it had a purpose, a display of power and intent, felt like a businessman about to be wined and dined, or worse still, bumped off. If I had my own place I’d have asked to meet there, somewhere less formidable, on my own turf, but Sally’s apartment would’ve been a bad idea. Besides, I didn’t want Frank anywhere near Max, I’d worry what he might do, or Sally for that matter, hence why neither was aware of today’s little engagement and never probably would be.
Max was running late, sent me a message, stuck on Lexington. God, I wished he would hurry up, waiting made it ten times worse, even though our previous conversation was short and brief, it still filled my head with the required amount of doubt to make sure I showed up.
It was hard to hear him over the commotion of the departure lounge yesterday. I asked him if it was him, if he was the one at the bottom of all this, he said yes. I asked why, he said he couldn’t say yet, told me to meet him, I said no. He laughed, “Meet me tomorrow, four o’clock at the Carlyle,” he said. I told him no again, tried to stand firm. And again, he laughed, told me it was in both mine and Tom’s interests before hanging up. Hence why I was here, jet-lagged, worrying and waiting.
I’d spoken to Tom, which was one positive. Once I got out of the airport and into an SUV unscathed, the first thing I wanted to do was ring him, this time thankfully he was home. We both said things that needed to be said, things felt fixable, thanked him for the photographs, I didn’t mention him flying to LA. He asked about our situation, if anything else had come to light, I lied and said no. Wished we could’ve talked longer, though Sally ushered me away, meeting across town, execs to impress. We said our goodbyes, promised I’d ring him again later, when we both had more time to get things off our chests, work out the next time we could see each other.
I picked another grape, sipped more wat
er, another excuse to go to the toilet, pee in luxury, look in the mirror, psych myself up. The restrooms were something else, the whole hotel was something else, velvet walls, Manhattan skyline, it didn’t deserve to be associated with Max, to be the backdrop where evil got to see out its awful schemes.
The gentlemen came back over. No grapes this time.
Mr Salter had arrived. Now it was him waiting for me.
44
Max took off his suit jacket, and ordered the nearest staff member to fetch us drinks and some privacy.
“Thank you for coming today on such short notice.”
“Like I had a choice.”
“You had a choice and you’re making the right ones so far.” He sat down opposite me across a heavy table. “How does it feel being back on home soil?”
“Who took the photos, Max? I’m guessing it wasn’t you. You’ve never been one to get your hands dirty. Leave that to some other expendable.”
“Why does it matter who took them?”
“For when I file my lawsuit.”
Max laughed, elbows on the table, smiling.
“You think this is funny, arsehole?”
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t laugh, it’s just hard to take you seriously when you’re mad.”
“Are you at least going to tell me why?”
“Not yet. I’m enjoying the show you are putting on for me.”
“Is there a reason you chose now to threaten me with whatever else you have on me? You could’ve threatened this weeks ago. It seems pretty shitty timing just when I’m about to come home.”
“You know me, Lilly. I like things drawn out, I like people to get settled in their seats. Besides, I didn’t want you making any rash decisions.”
“What, like staying with Tom?”
“It was better I stepped in.”
“What I do with Tom is none of your concern, Max.”
“That is where you are wrong, little lady. Your actions have consequences. Your actions reflect on me. So yes, how you conduct yourself and who you surround yourself with isn’t something I take light-heartedly.”