She nods, her expression lacking all emotion again. “Yeah. Always am.”
I pull back, scratching my neck while assessing her, unsure of whether she’s telling the truth or not. Maybe she’s still upset about Blaine and Masie? I don’t know. It feels like there’s more to it than that, though.
Her gaze instantly zeroes in on my hand. “What the hell happened to your hand?”
I lift it up in front of my face and cringe at the sight of my knuckles that are swollen to twice its normal size. I was so distracted with getting the hell out of the house that I forgot to ice it. I also should’ve taken some painkillers since I’ll be skating. It’s too late now, though, because there’s no way in hell I’m going back into that house.
“It’s nothing,” I lie, lowering my hand to my side. “I just scraped my hand on something.”
“It looks like you hit something.” She arches her brows. “Or someone.”
“What? Are you an expert on punching things or something?” I tease, not wanting to tell her the real reason my hand is hurt.
She lifts a shoulder, scuffing the tip of her boot against the ground. “I’ve had to throw a few swings before.”
“Who the heck have you been fighting?” I ask curiously. “I mean, I know you’re a badass, but I haven’t heard of you getting into a fight lately.”
She shrugs again. “I haven’t gotten into a fight lately, but I have punched a few people before.”
“True.” I give a short pause before admitting, “I may have punched someone in the face.”
She inspects me over with those gorgeous eyes of hers. “Who?”
I eye her over as carefully as she is me. “Why do I feel like you already know the answer to that?”
She chews on her bottom lip, the move nearly driving my body mad. “Masie texted me and told me you punched Blaine in the face.”
“Oh.” I squirm, feeling as though my secret feelings for her have been exposed.
“So, you did do it?” She squints against the fading sunlight as she observes me closely.
I give a casual shrug, hoping I appear calmer than I feel on the outside, hoping she won’t see my feelings toward her. “Yeah, but I partly did it because I’m pissed off at him.”
“What’d he do to you that’s so bad you wanted to punch him?”
Hurt you.
I resist saying the words aloud and try to think of something more clever to say. But all I end up doing is shrugging and saying, “He’s been getting on my nerves lately.”
She bobs her head up and down. “Seems like a justifiable reason to punch him.”
I cock a brow. “Is that sarcasm I detect?”
She dismisses me with a flick of her wrist. “Nah. I’d be a total hypocrite if I judged you for punching someone.”
A trace of a smile tugs at my lips, but it fades when I note her frown. “What’s up, Lex? You look upset.”
“I’ve looked like that all day.”
“I know, but … is it because of Masie and Blaine?” Because it feels like it might be something else.
Shaking her head, she blows out a frustrated exhale. “I’m just pissed off that Blaine knows about my crush on him. I hate when people know my personal shit, and this … I wish I could find a way to make her look like a liar. I mean, if I hadn’t lost my shit earlier, I probably could’ve pretended she was, but then I freaked out and took off and now he knows, knows. And I just wish there was a way to make him think I don’t like him anymore. Like, I’m over it …” She trails off, sliding her gaze to me. “Shit, I forgot you were standing there.”
“Glad to know I’m invisible to you,” I joke, but it really kind of stings.
“That’s not what I meant.” She offers me an apologetic look. “Sorry.”
“You’re fine,” I say, but all she does is frown. “Lex,” I say, wanting to make her feel better. “Tell me what I can do.”
She gives me a funny look. “For what?”
I step closer to her. “To make you feel better.”
“I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not. I can tell.”
She fiddles with the leather band on her wrist, the one I gave her. “Yeah, I am. Like I said, I’m just irritated because Blaine knows I like him and I hate people knowing my business. Plus, Masie texted me earlier and was being a total bitch about it.”
“What?” I pretend to be surprised, but I’m not.
“Yeah, it’s pretty messed up.” She shrugs then sighs. “I wish I could say I’m surprised, but part of me isn’t.”
“Me either,” I admit, racking my brain for a solution to her problem.
I get the whole not-wanting-people-to-know-about-my-feelings thing. I’ve liked Lex forever and, in the beginning, no one knew because I was almost always dating someone else. Or, well, hooking up with someone. But then I kind of stopped that, which led to Blaine asking me if I liked her because, apparently, I spent a lot of time staring at her and talking about her. I told him no, but I’m not sure if he believed me.
Anyway, that’s not the point. The point is that, when I was dating people, I was able to keep my feelings for Alexis hidden better.
“You could always date someone else,” I suggest, even though the idea makes me feel like I want to punch something. Like, say Blaine’s face again.
She tilts her head to the side. “What?”
I shrug. “I’ve done that before and it worked.”
Her forehead creases. “Who did you like that you didn’t want them to know?”
I shake my head. “There’s no way I’m telling you that. I worked too hard to keep it a secret.” I wink at her, but the move feels kind of forced.
She grimaces. “I can see why maybe that’d work, but I’m not much of a dater. Plus, no one even wants to date me.”
I roll my eyes. God, she’s so blind sometimes.
“That’s not true at all,” I tell her, holding her gaze, hoping she’ll see how much I mean my words.
“Yeah, it is.” She heaves a heavy sigh. “And even if it weren’t, like I said, I’m not much of a dater anyway … I’m not even in a place to date right now.”
I rub my lips together, the wheels in my brain turning.
Don’t say it, West. It’ll be a disaster.
“You could always date me?” I say then mentally curse myself.
What the hell is wrong with me? I might as well be holding a sign up that reads: Hey, I’m in love you, and I’m getting desperate.
Her brows spring upward. “You think we, as in you and me”—she motions between us—“should date?”
“Okay, I’m gonna try not to take your shock about that offensively.” I put on a grin, but deep down, I’m hurt and pissed off at myself for letting my emotions get the best of me. There’s no going back now, though. “Look, it’s not that bad of an idea. I know the situation, so I can totally play along. Plus, we agreed earlier to try to be friends.”
“Yeah, but this is pretending to be more than friends,” she mumbles, sinking her teeth into her bottom lip as she stares at me in a way that makes me actually start to sweat. “But I guess it might work. Just as long as we don’t have to kiss or anything like that.”
Shit, did she say yes?
I try not to fucking grin. “Trust me. Having to kiss me wouldn’t be the downfall of this idea. I’m a fantastic kisser.”
She rolls her eyes. “Whatever. It doesn’t matter, because there won’t be any kissing.”
“But then, how are we going to convince people we’re actually dating?” I point out.
She crinkles her nose. “I don’t know … We’ll figure it out …” She sighs audibly. “Look, if we’re gonna do this, we should probably make a list of rules.”
“Rules?” I pout. “That doesn’t sound very fun. And since when are you into rules?”
“I’m not.” She shifts her weight. “But this seems like it might be a need-rules sort of thing.”
“Why?” I ask curiously.
She gives a half-shrug. “Because.”
She’s being vague, and it has me so damn curious I can barely stand it.
“Because isn’t a reason.”
She flashes me a cheeky grin. “Yeah, it is, because I just used it as one.”
I decide to play her little game, grinning right back. Then I inch toward her, causing confusion to flicker in her eyes. It gives me a twisted sense of satisfaction.
“All right, Alexis Baker, you’ve got yourself a fake boyfriend.” I keep my gaze fixed on her and stick out my hand.
In typical, Lex style, she holds my gaze in an almost challenging way as she places her hand in mine. The look makes me grin, because she’s acting like the Lex I know, which means that maybe she’s already moving past Blaine.
“Okay, now for the rules …” She trails off, pulling a face at something behind me.
I start to turn around to see what she’s looking at when a cop car pulls up to the side of us. A moment later, Milo climbs out. He used to be best friends with Alexis’s older sister Jessamine until she moved out of the country. Of course, that was a few years ago, and now he’s a police officer, all decked out in a uniform and everything.
“Dammit,” she mumbles with her nose scrunched.
I cast her a sidelong glance. “I’m guessing he’s here for you?”
She lifts a shoulder. “I don’t know … Probably.”
I bite back a laugh. Damn, that girl gets in more trouble than I do.
Milo rounds the back of the patrol car and steps up in front of Alexis. “Hey, Alexis, I need you to come with me to the station for a bit,” he says with reluctance.
Lex crosses her arms and stares him down. “What the hell for?”
He glances down at her shoes then lifts a brow as he looks up at her again. “Because you have paint splattered all over your shoes.”
What the hell?
I glance down at her boots. Sure enough, they’re dotted with various colors of paint. Not that I know why that means Milo is here to arrest her.
“I didn’t realize that was a crime,” Alexis quips in a snarky tone. “Honeyton’s really clamping down on crime, huh?”
Milo heaves a weighted sigh. “Please just be cooperative.”
“Whatever,” she mumbles then stomps toward the vehicle.
“You gonna be okay?” I call out after her.
What the heck did you do, Lex?
She dismisses me with a shrug. “I always am.”
I know she’s lying. She hasn’t been okay since her parents passed away. And while I want to help her, I can’t unless she lets me in.
One day, beautiful girl, I’m going to get you to open up to me, I silently vow to myself. Maybe I can try to get her to do it during this whole fake boyfriend thing.
Yeah, I’m liking the sound of that.
Of course, depending on what rules she tries to set, it might be complicated. But I’ll just have to work around it. I’m good at working around complicated stuff.
8
Alexis
“I’m sorry about this, Alexis,” Milo says as he drives down the main road in town and toward the police station.
He had me sit in front and didn’t handcuff me. I think it’s because he believes he’s being nice. But wherever I sit doesn’t matter. I’m still being arrested whether I sit in the front or back. And while I pretend not to give a shit, I know this is going to cause drama with Loki. And I’ve had about enough drama for the day.
“Why are you sorry?” I glance at Milo with my brows raised. “This isn’t your fault.”
“I know, but …” He sighs, gripping the steering wheel. “It doesn’t feel right hauling you in. I mean, if Jessa knew …” He clears his throat, growing squirrely, probably at the mention of my oldest sister.
Milo and Jessa used to be best friends until Jessa took off to live in London. Now they don’t speak, always saying they lost touch, but I think there’s more to the story than that.
“But yeah, I don’t like that I have to do this,” Milo mutters under his breath.
“Why do you have to do it, though?” I ask.
While he insinuated earlier that he’s hauling me in because of the whole spray-painting incident, he never flat-out said it. So I’m not positive that’s the reason. And I want to be positive of what’s going on so I can figure out a way to lie my way out of this.
He glances at me. “Don’t you already know?”
I shake my head, playing dumb. “Nope. Don’t have a clue.”
“Alexis,” he says in a tolerant tone, “please don’t play dumb with me.”
I give him my best innocent look. “I’m not playing dumb. I legit don’t know.”
He searches my face then shakes his head and focuses back on the road. “Someone spotted you spray painting the side of a store today and reported it.”
“What?” I pretend to be shocked. “I haven’t spray-painted anything except for when I’m in art class.”
He flicks a pressing glance in my direction. “There’s paint on your shoes.”
“Yeah, so? I’m an artist. I always have paint all over everything.” I lift up my foot. “Some of these paint splatters are, like, from two years ago.” Back before my parents died. Back before everything went to shit. Back before I stopped caring whether things went to shit.
Back before …
Back before …
Back before …
Almost everything became broken.
A tightness pushes up through me, but I swallow hard, pressing down the urge to scream.
I need to get out of here.
Milo releases a quiet sigh as he turns into the police station. “There’s also a good chance you were caught on the store’s security cameras,” he warns as he parks in front of the building and turns off the engine.
I’m not one to get too panicky, but that remark does have me kind of concerned. Still, I play dumb.
“No it didn’t, because I didn’t do it.”
He lets out another sigh then pushes his door open and climbs out. Then he rounds the front of the car, opens the passenger door, and signals for me to get out. I do so calmly and composedly, refusing to freak out and let on that I’m the one who painted on the store. Innocent until proven guilty, right? And until I know the police have real proof that I did it, I’m going to pretend that I didn’t.
Of course, when I enter the station behind Milo and spot Loki sitting in one of the chairs near the front desk, that bit of control kind of slips away.
I throw Milo a dirty look. “You called Loki?”
“I did it for your own good … You shouldn’t have to deal with this alone.” He hooks his keys on his beltloop as he approaches Loki, who has his gaze locked on his phone. “And eventually, we would’ve had to call him anyway, since you’re a minor and he’s your guardian.” He presses his lips together as he regrets saying the last part.
My chest constricts at the reminder, but I shove that feeling right down. I’m honestly getting tired of this shit. These feelings. I want them off.
Right as I manage to shut off everything inside me and wipe my expression clean, Loki glances up from his phone. Anger immediately flickers in his eyes as his gaze locks on me.
Unlike me, Loki is fantastic at showing his emotions. Although, just a handful of years ago, he used to be a pothead who could barely hold a job. Now, he’s twenty-two, runs our dad’s bookstore, and is the father to a bunch of teenagers because our parents had no one else to leave guardianship to if they died.
Sometimes I feel sorry for him, for getting stuck with all of us. And maybe if I were a better person, I’d stop doing such shitty things that stress him out. But if I stop doing all the shitty things, then I have to feel all the shitty things.
What I really want is for him to just let me go. I’m almost eighteen, almost an adult, and I think it might be time for him to just give up on me. Maybe if I get found guilty for this, it’ll push him to that point.
“Hey, Milo
.” Loki rises to his feet, ignoring me. “Sorry about this.” He rubs the back of his neck. “How much trouble is she in? Should I get a lawyer?”
“You say that like I’ve already been proven guilty,” I say. “But I haven’t.”
Loki shakes his head but doesn’t comment on my remark.
“I’m not sure yet,” Milo tells him. “It all depends on if the store owner wants to press charges. You might be able to work out a deal with him. Considering the circumstances, they might be sympathetic. Maybe she can clean up the paint or something.”
Loki bobs his head up and down, flicking a glance at me.
I narrow my eyes at him, silently saying, Don’t you dare use Mom and Dad’s deaths to get me out of this.
“First, we should probably make sure she was captured on video,” Milo adds with a pressing look. “If she isn’t, then there might not even be a case, since the person who called Alexis in wants to remain anonymous.”
My brows furrow. “They do?”
Milo glances at me then nods.
My confusion skyrockets. “Why?”
He shrugs. “I have no idea. It’s honestly kind of strange considering there’s a reward.”
Yeah, I completely agree, which makes me want to find out who it is. Not that I can think of a way to find that out. I want to, though. Boy, do I want to, especially since Jay was lurking around in that area.
Did that asshole turn me in?
My fingernails dig into my palms and my body begins to tremble. If he did, I’m going to make him pay. That asshole already took too much away from me. And I’m not that weak girl that he pinned down on the bathroom floor and touched without permission.
At least, I don’t want to be.
I’m not.
I’m stronger now.
Because nothing can get to me.
Because I am nothing.
“Let’s go back to my desk so we can talk about what’s next,” Milo tells Loki, drawing me from my inner rage.
Nodding, Loki follows Milo into a mess of desks buzzing with ringing phones and officers chatting with each other. When I don’t budge, Loki turns around and signals for me to do the same. He also gives me a look, one that he’s given me a lot lately. One that lets me know he believes I did this and that I’m in trouble.
Accepting the Deal (Honeyton Alexis) (Signed with a Kiss Series Book 1) Page 7