by Adam Zorzi
“You brother has given us some background information on Mrs. Ramsay. Her employer, her sponsorship of a sports club at St. Margaret's, and her enthusiasm about competing in an upcoming one hundred mile cycling event. He said she had no religious affiliation.”
Dan nodded.
“Earlier, you said you and Mrs. Ramsay were experiencing marital difficulties. Could you be more specific?”
“Rob said I shouldn't talk to you about Jill because on TV the cops always suspect the spouse.”
“Mr. Ramsay,” said Winston, “we're not in a TV show. God knows, I wish we were. Statistically, it's true. Women are most often killed by someone they know, usually a male—boyfriend, husband, brother, son. You said marital problems. That's a broad topic. Abuse, divorce, separation. Gambling, drugs, alcohol. Mrs. Ramsay may have had a boyfriend or girlfriend, for that matter. We don't know the situation. You do. The faster we can get a handle on this, the more likely we are to find the killer.”
“I don't…”
“Mr. Ramsay, we're investigating the murder of your wife. Now, Detective Elba and I have notified more people of their spouse's death than we care to count. We know people react differently. However, refusal to co-operate with us at the basic level might be considered unusual.”
Rob put his arm around Dan. “Talk to them.”
“It's not that I don't want to co-operate. I just don't care.”
“Then co-operate so they can get on with their jobs and you can get home to Kaitlyn.”
The mention of Katie stirred Dan to talk. He told them as much as he was able. His tongue felt heavy and he felt like cotton was in his head. He spoke to Elba. “Jill discovered I'd been having an affair for about a year around Christmas. She and Katie went to Charleston to spend two weeks during the Christmas holiday with her parents without me. I stayed behind with a fake case of the mumps. When they returned, Jill asked me to move to the guest bedroom. We told Katie I had sleep apnea and needed to be in a room where the noise of the machine wouldn't disturb Jill.”
“Did you see a marriage counselor or therapist?”
“No. Jill was too angry to go.”
“Mr. Ramsay, did your wife ever indicate that she was afraid of someone? Found them too attentive? Creepy?”
Dan shook his head.
“Could you please answer yes or no?”
“No. No one.”
“Did you notice anyone who paid unusual attention to her?”
“No,” Dan spoke in the monotone of someone who was disassociated from the facts.
“Did she like her colleagues? Her boss?”
“She loved her job. I didn't know any of her colleagues. Some of them came to parties at the house, but I don't remember anyone in particular. She did say she had a new client she was sharing with Chloe. I don't know Chloe's last name. I don't think there was any real animosity between the two of them, but Jill thought Chloe was a pain in the ass.”
“You said you didn't know anyone from the cycling club, correct?”
“Correct. I knew some names. Monika Traymore lives in the neighborhood, but we don't socialize.”
“Did she mention anyone from the club as being offensive or upsetting to her?”
Dan shook his head. “No.”
“How did she seem when she left Saturday morning?”
“What do you mean?” Dan didn't understand how any of this mattered.
“Excited? Nervous? Your brother said she'd been planning to do the one hundred mile race for two years and this was her first practice of the season. Was she eager to go?”
“A little nervous. Worried,” said Dan. “About the expense of the trip. I lost my job. She was worried about spending money for the trip. I told her to go. She'd already paid her fee. She'd packed lunch and snacks. Her only expense was gas.”
“Why did she drive alone?”
“What?”
“If she was concerned about money, why didn't she ride with someone else from the cycling club? Split the cost?”
That had never occurred to Dan. “I don't know. I never questioned her about her team activities. Maybe she wanted to be mobile should something happen to Katie. She always wanted to be available for Katie.”
He stopped speaking.
“Katie, how am I going to tell Katie her mother is dead? How can I do that?” He looked at Winston and Elba for help. How did he tell Katie her mother wasn't coming home?
Rob reached out and rubbed his brother's back. Dan couldn't stop crying.
“Had you and your wife made any progress toward reconciliation?”
Couldn't they stay on one topic at a time? “Maybe. We have reservations to spend a few days skiing in Colorado next month. Just the two of us. No promises from her. I also thought this cycling trip would clear her head and get her thinking about something other than our marriage. Maybe she'd be ready to work things through after the weekend.”
“Was she seeing anyone else?”
He knew he should be offended, but he didn't know. He'd lost touch with any radar he'd had with Jill.
“I don't know,” he whispered. “Her girlfriends might know.”
“What about you? Were you seeing anyone?”
“Absolutely not. I promised her I'd never see or talk to Bella again and I haven't.”
“Bella?” asked Winston.
Dan gave them Bella's name and business address. It stuck in his mind because it was on Wall Street and sounded so serious and sophisticated and glamorous. He'd tossed the burner phone with her cell phone number programmed into it away months ago so he wouldn't be tempted to call.
“Mr. Ramsay, what did you do while your wife was away?”
“I went for a long run Saturday. I drove down to the beach and ran a long time. I drove back, and spent Saturday night at home. I went to bed early. I'd overdone the run. I took Tylenol pm to soothe my muscles. I slept late Sunday. My calves hurt so I booked a massage at my health club. I had the massage, played shuffleboard with a neighbor, and came home to find out when I was supposed to pick up Katie. You know the rest.”
“Colonial Beach?”
“No, no. Virginia Beach. Along the oceanfront. North End.”
“Do you know anyone there?”
“Not anymore. I had some college friends who lived there. My parents had friends there.”
“So, you didn't go to see anyone in particular?”
“No, I just wanted to run. I wanted to be somewhere out of Henrico County and my problems.” He was getting sleepy. “Can I go now?”
“Why did you book a massage?” Winston cut in.
“Because my calves hurt.”
“If there were financial problems, a massage seems a bit luxurious.”
“There weren't financial problems. I lost my job and will get another one, but we have investments and I can get a partial pension. I wasn't worried about money. Jill was.”
“Excuse us.”
Elba and Winston went outside.
Dan and Rob sat in silence. Dan felt like he wanted to put his head on the table and never get up.
The door opened. Elba stood there. “Mr. Ramsay, you and your brother may go now. I'll have further questions, but you've been helpful.”
He held the door open for the two to pass.
“Again, I'm sorry for your loss.”
CHAPTER
THIRTY-SIX
The distance from the landing in the foyer up the stairs to Katie's room felt like it was the length of a marathon. Just over twenty-six miles. He forced himself to climb. One foot, then the next. He stopped at the top of the landing and took one deep breath. He didn't want to go through that door. He didn't want to break his daughter's heart. Maybe he could just stand here until the nightmare passed. He made the final few steps to Katie's room on leaden feet. He knocked on the door and went in.
“Dad,” she went to him and hugged him. “Why did I get out of school at lunch period? Why did Trooper Sanders pick me up?”
Dan sat on her b
ed on a quilt made by Jill with a dust ruffle and pillow shams in blue. Periwinkle blue, Jill always corrected.
Katie's lip was quivering as she stood in front of him. “Dad, my stomach hurts.”
She clearly knew something was very wrong. He took her small soft hands in his.
“Katie, your mom isn't coming home. The police said someone killed her in the park where she'd gone for the cycling trials.”
The dam that Katie must have been holding burst and tears flooded from her. “No, Dad, tell the police they're wrong.”
He held her close. “I did, Katie, I did. I told them they were wrong. They took me downtown and I saw your mom for myself. She's dead. She's not coming back.”
Katie sat on his lap and cried until she couldn't. He didn't know how much time had passed. It could have been twenty minutes or two hours. He held her and cried with her.
Finally, Katie lifted her head and asked, “Who would kill Mom? Why?”
Dan shook his head. “I don't know, Katie. The police are investigating. They have to ask a lot of questions and look at the scene where she was found.”
She seemed to absorb this silently.
“Will they ask me questions?” she hiccupped.
“Maybe one or two, but I'll be with you.” He hoped he sounded reassuring.
She started crying hard again. “Dad, the last time I talked to Mom I yelled at her. I was mad she called me at Sophia's. I told her she embarrassed me and not to call me again. I didn't mean to be mad. Do you think the police will think I hurt her?”
“Oh, no, Katie. Don't worry about the police. Your mom knew how much you loved her. She understood that you're getting to be more independent. She wouldn't have been upset that you asked her not to call.”
“You think so?”
“Yes, Katie, I do. Your mom loved you, and she liked that you were sassy sometimes.”
“Dad, are we going to have to put her in the ground, too? Like granddad?”
“Yes, sweetheart.”
“I don't want her to be there. She likes to be outside, just like granddad.”
Dan couldn't answer.
“Kaitlyn, that's just your mom's body. Her spirit is free and soaring and living right inside you and your dad. The service will just be an earthly show of respect.” Dan saw his mother in the doorframe.
“Gran,” Katie ran to her and held tight. “Gran, I don't want mom to be dead.”
“Of course you don't. None of us do. Something terrible happened. I don't know why it had to happen to her. She was the best mom a girl could have, wasn't she?”
Katie nodded her head and still hung onto her grandmother's waist.
His mother opened her left arm for him. “Dan,” she whispered as she hugged him, “I'm so sorry. I'm just so sorry.”
The three of them hugged each other for a long time.
CHAPTER
THIRTY-SEVEN
When they broke apart, Dan asked his mom how she knew.
“Rob called me last night. I booked a flight for this morning. I wanted to be with you and Kaitlyn until Jill came home. I never dreamed this would happen.”
“I can't believe it, Mom. It's too painful.”
“Dan, I know. It's too soon. Your dad and I had a long life together, and it broke my heart. I can't imagine how you must feel.”
Dan was limp. “Mom, could you stay up here with Katie for a while? I have to call Jill's parents. They don't know, yet.”
“Of course, Dan. Anything.” She hugged him again. “I wish you didn't have to tell them.”
He went into the office, closed the door, and used his cell to call his in-laws' home number. No answer. They didn't have an answering machine. He called Jill's older sister, Jane, at work and gave her the news. She was shocked and started to cry. She said her parents had left Charleston to fly to Richmond around noon. They wanted to be there if Jill were truly missing. She said their plane would land about five o'clock. They'd made reservations to stay at the nearby Hyatt House.
Great, just what he needed. Jill's parents. Today.
Jane said she'd tell her younger sister Emily.
When Jane asked about funeral plans, Dan cried. “I don't know. She was murdered, Jane. Some monster killed her. An autopsy is being performed. I can't stop them. I don't know when they'll release…” he couldn't say the word body. “Jill. When they'll release Jill to the funeral home.”
Jane said all the right things. She said it must be terrible for him, to give Kaitlyn her love, and that she'd wait to hear from him before she and Emily and their husbands came up.
“Thank you, Jane. I just can't process all this. I want to ask Jill to help. I want her to just be waiting downstairs. I'll call.”
He ended the call. There was no one else he wanted to speak to.
Suzanne knocked lightly and let herself in. She went over and hugged his neck while he was still seated at the desk.
“I'm so sorry, Dan. I wish I could say more.”
Dan motioned that he didn't care.
“Dan, people are starting to stop by. Some of them with food. I can take care of it for now, but I think we need to talk to a funeral home. They'll give you a guest book and handle the obituary. Rob said your family has used Smythe's in the past. Should I call them? They'll send someone to the house so you don't have to go to them.”
Dan nodded. “Thanks, Suzanne. I don't know what to do. I don't want to see anyone. I just spoke to Jill's sister Jane. The Carters are landing in Richmond about five. I don't want to see them, but I'll have to. Katie will want to see them.”
“Oh, Dan,” she sighed, “I wish you had another day before they arrived. Do they know?”
“I don't know. Jane might call them once they land.”
“I know you don't want to hear this, but there are media crews at the entrance to the community. Some reporters have snuck through on foot. There's a patrol car outside. There's another shift change soon.”
“Screw the media. They're not going to get photos of a grieving Katie. We have to protect her, Suzanne. Please, can you help do that?”
“Of course, Dan, I'll do anything. I'll draw all the drapes. Why don't you lie down until the people from Smythe's get here?”
He nodded.
He started towards the guest room and realized now he could go back to the master bedroom. Still alone. Maybe it would make him feel a little bit normal. Suzanne had already drawn the drapes. Not normal. Never.
CHAPTER
THIRTY-EIGHT
Dan couldn't have slept more than two hours. He unplugged the landline, threw his clothes in a heap on the floor, and dived under the covers. He hoped a trace of Jill would be there. It wasn't. She'd changed the sheets before she’d left. All he could smell was fabric softener.
Even without her scent, Dan felt better being in the room he and Jill had shared for their entire marriage. On her bedside table, he noticed gym socks, Katie's school picture, and a stack of pamphlets on nutrition for tri-athletes. A crystal frame held their wedding picture in plain view. She would have seen it every night before falling asleep.
Dan hoped she hadn't lain awake alone and hurting. What a fool he'd been. How could he have thought she wouldn't be dumbstruck by learning of his affair? Hearing his plans to divorce her to marry Bella? Trade her in for a woman he loved more?
Looking at the wedding picture reminded him of how drawn he'd been to Jill. He hadn’t dated much until he was in his thirties and was almost forty when he’d met Jill at a birthday bowling party for one of his colleagues. She was happy and funny and pretty. His co-worker encouraged him to ask her out.
On their third date, she’d asked him to marry her. They'd gone skiing at Wintergreen with two other couples. At the top of the chairlift, she'd looked at him and said, “I like you a lot, Dan Ramsay. I think you should marry me.” She’d whooshed down the slopes ahead of him. When he’d met her at the bottom of the slope, she’d asked for his answer. Yes. They hadn't even had sex yet, but it felt right.
Marrying her in a garden setting on a beautiful sunny day seemed to be an omen that Mørk and all bad things were behind him.
“Dan?” his mother called from the hall.
“Come in, Mom.” He sat up and rubbed his eyes.
“Did you get any sleep?” She brought him a glass of iced tea.
“Some, yes.”
“Dan, the man from Smythe's is here. Where do you want to speak to him?” Nowhere. He didn't want to talk to anyone about how to best formalize Jill's death. “Are there people downstairs?” He couldn't be with people. He didn't want to be an object of curiosity. He didn't want the depth of his grief to be judged by Jill's friends. He'd reached his limit and the Carters hadn't arrived yet.
“Some neighbors, friends of Jill. Suzanne and Rob. There's a patrol officer outside.”
“Could you ask the Smythe's man to come to the office in about ten minutes?”
“Of course, Dan.”
“Katie?”
“She's in her room with her friend Sophia. Mrs. Cruz thought Kaitlyn would like to have a friend with her.”
Dan nodded.
“Thanks for moving the clothes, Mom.” He'd noticed all his clothes had been returned to the master bedroom closet and dresser from the guest bedroom.
“Anything.”
***
Rob joined the man from Smythe's in the office. Dan appreciated the support. These were decisions he didn't want to make. How could he pick out a casket for Jill? He should be helping her pick out a new bike.
He broke down twice during the short conference, but Rob kept him steady. He sobbed uncontrollably at the mention of burial clothes. His mind was empty when asked how to dress Jill for eternity. Rob reminded him that Jill had looked nice in the black sleeveless sheath she'd worn to their father's funeral. Jill had liked that dress, too. She wore it on special occasions.
Dan wanted the obituary published quickly to convey the message that the funeral would be private and graveside; Jill liked simple and outdoors. She hadn't set foot in a church except for someone's wedding, funeral, or christening since she had been seven and declared God to be Mother Nature.