Her gaze skipped around the room, and Olivia knew her sister was afraid to finish the sentence. But dammit, Olivia was so sick and tired of being coddled. “He’s what, Eve? Just spit it out.”
Eve’s dark gaze settled back on Olivia, only instead of shock and pity, this time Olivia saw truth. A sad truth she suddenly wasn’t sure she wanted to hear.
“He’s broken, Liv. There’s no other way to say it. Guys like Miller . . . They aren’t whole. Whatever emotion he once had, the DIA trained out of him so he could focus on the job he has to do. Jobs that are dark, ugly, dirty ones none of us would even consider. They can’t afford for guys like him to be worrying about right and wrong and someone else’s feelings when they’re in a life or death situation. When the safety of thousands rests on their shoulders.”
She squeezed Olivia’s hands. “Look, I like Landon. Deep down I know he’s a good guy, and I don’t doubt that he cares for you in some way, but I guarantee he doesn’t know what to do with it. And honestly, I’d be afraid if he did. You’re not part of his real world, Olivia. Not if he’s really still with the DIA. You’re a distraction. And even if he were free to do what he wanted, he’s not the kind of guy a girl can have a happily ever after with. It’s not a part of who he is anymore.”
Olivia’s throat grew thick. Eve had just confirmed every one of her fears, but she still didn’t want to believe it. “Y-you don’t know that for sure.”
“I do.” Eve’s eyes darkened. “I’ve worked with guys like this. It’s not what the DIA does to them, it’s who they are. They recruit certain backgrounds. People who come from broken homes and who already have vague morality lines. It’s not just training you’re fighting against here. It’s his entire human makeup. You can’t change a person’s past, Liv. You can’t change who he fundamentally is inside, no matter how much you want to. I know you’ve worked up this fantasy in your head about him because he saved your life in Seattle, but that’s not real. He’s not real. The last few days have to have shown you that.”
Olivia’s mind skipped back over those days. To the way Landon had kissed her when she’d shown up at his hotel in Barcelona. To the anger and fear radiating off him when she’d come back for him at that compound instead of escaping like he’d told her to do. To the look in his eyes when he’d been watching her in that church.
No. Eve was wrong. Yes, he might be broken, but then . . . wasn’t she? She had to believe that someone as screwed up as Landon still had a chance to be happy. Because if he didn’t, then that meant she was doomed as well.
She swallowed hard and slowly pulled her hand from her sister’s grip. “The last few days showed me I’m not who you all think I am.”
“Olivia—”
“No.” She stepped back. “I understand your concern, Eve, but this isn’t about you. And it’s not about my relationship with Landon. It’s about me. And while I appreciate your coming all the way out here to find me, what I choose to do and with whom I choose to do it is none of your business. Not anymore. If you want to be a part of my life, then you’re just going to have to deal with that reality.”
She moved for the door, but Eve’s hand on her arm stopped her. “Wait. Where are you going?”
“For a walk. I need some space right now.”
“Liv,” Eve said softly. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to upset you. I’m just—”
Olivia faced her sister, her frustration easing just a touch. “You’re worried. I get that. But I’m not a child. I’m your sister. I’m gonna make mistakes. I’m gonna get my heart broken. But that’s part of life, and you can’t protect me from it. You and Landon, you both think I’m some fragile flower that can’t even stand a slight breeze, but I can. And I’m done sitting back listening to what you both think is best for me. I’m old enough to make my own decisions.”
Eve closed her eyes tightly, then opened them. “I know. I’m just . . . I have a lot to make up for, Olivia. A lot of years when I should have been there for you and wasn’t.”
“I don’t want your guilt. I want your support.”
“You have it.”
A lump formed in Olivia’s throat. She knew Eve meant what she said. But she also knew her sister wasn’t the kind of person to sit back and keep her mouth shut. She’d still interfere, she’d still try to tell Olivia what to do, but at least now, maybe, she knew Olivia wasn’t going to listen. “I’m going for that walk now.”
“Stay on the—”
Olivia frowned, and Eve’s mouth snapped shut. “On the grounds. Yeah. I will. I’m not stupid.”
“I know you’re not,” Eve said softly. “I didn’t mean to imply you were.”
The absurdity of the situation hit Olivia. Considering all the other things happening in her life, this little argument should be the least of her worries. But part of her was glad they’d gotten it out in the open. It had been a long time coming.
“You might be, though,” Olivia said, “if you let Zane get away. Marry him, Eve. You know you want to.”
Eve frowned and stepped back from the door. “I don’t know. Maybe. I’ll think about it.”
Classic Eve. No one ever told her what to do. She lived her life the way she wanted. In that respect, Olivia vowed to be more like her. “I’ll find you later.”
Olivia moved out into the hallway and headed down the stairs to the first level. She hadn’t lied. She did need to walk to clear her head. But as soon as her feet hit the ground level, she thought of Landon. She needed to talk to him too.
A door at the far end of the hall opened and closed, and Marley moved out into the corridor. Olivia’s pulse jumped, and she headed in that direction without a second thought.
“Hey,” Marley said when Olivia drew close. “You look better.”
Olivia skimmed a hand over her hair. She didn’t feel better. Not yet, anyway. “Thanks.” She tucked her hands into the front pocket of her new jeans. “How is he?”
Marley glanced toward the closed door and wrinkled her nose. “Not very happy with me at the moment, but the alcohol and drugs have kicked in, so at least he’s not swearing anymore. Hopefully by tomorrow he won’t remember most of it. Nice first aid job there, by the way.”
“Thanks. Where did you learn to do all that medical stuff? I thought you were just a secretary.”
Marley shot her a look as she opened a door across the hall to a storage room and set a tray with wet medical instruments on the shelf. “Jake would like everyone to think I’m nothing more than his secretary.”
“Sorry.” Olivia cringed. “That came out wrong.” She hated when people called her just a teacher. “I meant—”
“I know what you meant. No worries. As to your question, I learned all that from my father. He runs a security company called Omega Intel. When I was a kid, he used to drag me all over the globe, wherever he had guys stationed. I had to quickly learn how to pull my own weight, and since several of his men were always getting into scrapes, that included learning how to tie a few sutures. I’m what you’d call a jack of all trades, a master of none.”
Olivia watched as Marley reached for a towel from a shelf to her right and dried her hands. “I’ve heard of Omega Intel. They’re big. Black ops defense contract stuff. I had no idea that was your father. Why do you work at Aegis instead of for him?”
Marley shrugged. “Family issues. I worked for him for a few years after college.” She wrinkled her nose. “Didn’t work out. I needed to get away.”
Olivia could definitely understand that kind of need.
“Why the curiosity?” Marley tipped her head. “Considering a career change?”
Olivia hadn’t been. Not until this moment. Then again, she hadn’t thought much about what she’d do when she left here, but maybe it was time she started. “I don’t know. Maybe. I’ve been a teacher so long, I don’t know what else I could do.”
Marley tossed
the rag into a basket near the door. “My father used to always complain that he could rely on the toughest Navy SEAL in the field, but put him in a training session with new recruits and he’d crash and burn like an F16 with engine trouble.”
Olivia chuckled. She knew that was true. Not everyone could teach. Contrary to what her own father had thought, it took a certain personality to get up in front of a group and not only hold their interest, but actually make them learn.
Marley crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. “You know, my father’s always looking for new trainers.”
“I don’t know anything about security or black ops work.”
“You wouldn’t have to. He needs trainers for computer programs, foreign languages, even undercover ops. Hey, you teach drama, right?”
“Yeah.” Or she did.
“He’s always looking for someone to train his operatives how to slip into a role while they’re working undercover. If I called him, I bet he’d jump at the chance to hire you.”
Olivia’s head was suddenly spinning. “I . . .”
Marley smiled. “I’m overwhelming you, aren’t I? I have a tendency to do that. I’ll back off. But seriously. Think about it.”
She stepped past Olivia and moved back into the hall.
“Hey, Marley?”
“Yeah?” Marley turned to look over her shoulder.
Olivia moved to stand outside Landon’s door once more. “Why your father’s company? Why not Aegis?”
“Oh. Well.” Marley glanced down the empty hall, then looked back at Olivia. “Aegis is great, and I’m sure you’d enjoy working for Ryder—wait, let me rephrase. I’m sure you’d enjoy working with his crew. I just think you’d be a better fit with Omega.”
Olivia wasn’t sure what Marley meant about Jake Ryder, but she did catch the cautiousness in Marley’s words. “Because of Landon?”
“No, not because of Landon,” she said softly. “Because of Eve.”
“Oh.”
“Look, I like your sister and all, but she can be . . . How can I put this?”
“Obnoxious?” Olivia said without thinking.
Marley smiled. “I was going to say overprotective. And I get the impression that doesn’t always sit well with you.”
It didn’t. Marley was extremely observant. Something else Olivia liked about the woman.
“I know what it’s like to be smothered by family. Eve means well, and she’s just looking out for you, which is a good thing, but in a work environment—especially ours—that could get stifling. If you’re thinking about a new career for a new start, then it makes sense to do it someplace totally different. Without overbearing family members watching your every move. Whether that’s in the security field or not.”
Yeah, Olivia totally agreed. And Marley had given her a lot to think about. But not yet.
She looked toward the door, her mind immediately shifting to Landon. Nerves danced through Olivia’s stomach all over again. “Can I, um, see him?”
“Sure. Just remember he’s kind of out of it and might not know what he’s saying.” She reached for the door handle. “On second thought. That might not be a bad thing. His filter’s gone. You could ask him anything right now and he’d probably answer.”
Olivia’s pulse ticked up. “Anything?”
“Anything. That’s why he doesn’t usually drink the hard stuff.” She turned the handle, then paused and glanced back, a dark look passing over her blue eyes. “Olivia, you do know Landon’s employment at Aegis was only temporary, right?”
“Yeah, he mentioned that. I don’t know why, though.”
Marley sighed. “Everything that happened with Danica Crossler sort of messed him up. He’s been on mental health leave from the DIA for the last year. He and Jake crossed paths a time or two during their years in the military, and when Jake heard Landon had gone out on leave, he went to see how he was doing. Didn’t take him long to recognize that Landon needed something to keep himself busy in the meantime, so he talked Landon into working for Aegis, on the sly, of course, which is how you met him in Seattle. The DIA doesn’t know what he’s been doing for us—they wouldn’t have allowed it if they did—but Jake has a way of getting around those kind of things. Unfortunately for us, the DIA recently cleared Landon to return to duty. That Aegis assignment in Barcelona was his last one for us. He’s due back at the DIA next week.”
Olivia’s chest tightened. Next week seemed so soon. She wasn’t sure she was ready for that.
Marley pushed the door open and held it so Olivia could pass. “I just thought you should know, so you can be prepared. Think about what I said regarding Omega. If you want me to make a call, I will.”
The door closed softly at Olivia’s back, and alone, with her emotions strung all over the map, she glanced across the room.
Tall windows looked out at the darkening sky and an endless view of the Mediterranean Sea. A door opened to her right that looked as if it led to a full bathroom. A few seascape pictures hung on the walls. But it was the man in the middle of the room, kicked back on a reclining chair, who drew her attention. The one who was naked from the waist up, his tanned skin and muscular chest catching the fading light, a white bandage wrapped around his left arm, and a silly smile across his bruised and handsome face.
“Hey,” he slurred. “I know you.”
“Hey.” She moved cautiously into the room, those nerves growing stronger. Now that she was here, she wasn’t sure what to say. What to do, for that matter. Even though it had only been an hour or so since she’d last seen him, she felt as if everything had changed.
No, she felt as if she’d changed.
He held out his right hand, and she moved toward him, sliding her fingers over his, feeling the warmth of his skin against her own. “Sit with me?”
Her gaze flicked to the side, and she noticed the swivel stool. Catching it with the toe of her sneaker, she dragged it close and sat. But he tugged on her arm, drawing her even closer, until her side brushed against his and the heat of his body swirled around her.
“Better.” He laid her hand on his bare chest, and beneath her fingers she felt the strong, steady beat of his heart, reminding her that he was okay, they were okay, and that he’d done exactly what he’d said he would do. He’d gotten her to safety.
His eyes slid closed, and he smoothed his hand down her arm, sending tingles all across her flesh. “Much better.”
Olivia wasn’t so sure. There was so much she needed to ask. So many things she wanted him to explain.
He trailed his fingers up her arm again and then back down. Those tingles intensified, igniting a resounding heat in her belly. “You smell good,” he mumbled, still not opening his eyes. “Like lilacs. Love that scent. Always makes me think of you.”
She hadn’t known that. They’d only spent two days together before she’d come to Spain to see him. How could he have possibly remembered what perfume she wore?
Stop thinking with your emotions. Start thinking with your head. You came down here to get answers. Get them.
“Landon.” She swallowed hard, wanting to pull her hand away so his touch wasn’t distracting her, but he didn’t seem to want to let her go, and part of her didn’t want to let go of him either. “When we were in the church, you were about to tell me something, but you didn’t get to finish because Eve and Zane arrived. What were you going to tell me?”
His brow wrinkled, and his fingers paused their gentle strokes along the back of her arm. A slow smile spread across his lips. “Can’t tell you.”
What? No, she wasn’t putting up with that. Not anymore. “Why not?”
She wasn’t sure why she so desperately needed to hear what he’d been about to say, but she did. For whatever reason, that mystery seemed to be the glue that was now holding her together.
His fingers slid down her hand again, and he tip
ped his head her direction where it rested against the chair, but he still didn’t open his eyes. “Because you don’t tell the girl you’re in love with that you love her, especially when she has every reason to hate your guts.”
Everything inside Olivia went still. “You . . . love me?”
“Sh.” His smile widened. “Don’t tell anyone.”
Her heart felt like it completely stopped. Followed by a slow, prickly heat that spread through every inch of her skin.
He loved her? No. He didn’t. He couldn’t. Eve had said guys like him didn’t know how to love.
“I . . . You . . .” Her voice grew thick, raspy, not her own. She swallowed hard, trying to get her brain to work. “But you had that girl in your room when I went to see you in Barcelona.”
His smile faded, and his brow dropped low, forming soft creases between his closed eyelids. “She didn’t turn out to be what I thought.”
Well, no kidding. She’d been a freakin’ psycho. That didn’t change the fact he’d taken another woman up to his room when he’d supposedly had feelings for her.
She pulled her hand from his chest, not wanting to touch him right now, her frustration growing to new heights. “What were you expecting? For monkeys to fly out of her butt?”
His eyes slowly opened, and he blinked several times, but she couldn’t tell if he was really seeing her because they were completely glazed over. A little voice screamed this wasn’t the time to be having this conversation, but—
He loved her? Bull. If you loved someone, you didn’t hide from it, and you sure as hell didn’t try to fuck someone else.
“I was trying to forget about you,” he whispered. “Stupid plan.” He closed his eyes again and turned his face toward the ceiling. “Won’t ever be able to forget you. No matter where I go, you’re always gonna be right here.”
He laid his hand over his heart, right where Olivia’s fingers had just been. And as she stared at him, trying to figure out what to say—what to do, for that matter—Eve’s voice echoed in her head.
Lethal Consequences (The Aegis Series Book 2) Page 18