by Sally John
She whispered, “And I resent Drake for hurting Susan and Kenzie.”
You need to let it go. Your resentment is not going to fix anything. You need to forgive both of them, Drake and your dad.
“I can’t.”
But Jesus could. He already had.
“I don’t want to. They don’t deserve…”
Oh, as though she deserved forgiveness?
Natalie wiped tears from her eyes. What was going on? All she wanted was to leave and have a fun night off with Susan and Kenzie and Pepper. All she wanted was for Rex to explain things to Drake in her absence.
But Drake came while she was at home, and now she held a cup of cold water in her hand. The right thing to do was to give it to the guy.
In Jesus’ name.
“It’s all your wife’s fault.”
At Drake’s words, Natalie slowed her entry into the living room.
Rex said in his firmest attorney voice, “It is not her fault, and I refuse to listen to you talk like that, so knock it off.”
Go, Rex! She walked over to the couch where the men sat and held the glass out to Drake.
“I don’t want your water.”
Rex took it from her. “For crying out loud, Drake, stop acting like a whiny brat and drink some.” He said to her, “He got wind of the Good Friday plans already.”
Not sure yet if she trusted herself to speak in any sort of gracious manner, she gave him a silent questioning stare and sat on the edge of a chair.
He mouthed a board member’s name. No surprise. The Martha Mavens expected word would get out to people who didn’t agree with their tactics. Natalie only wished it had taken a little longer.
Drake gulped down half the water and glowered at her. “If you hadn’t insisted on Susan going to the beach house in the first place, none of this would have happened.”
Rex said, “Hold it right there. You’ve brought this on yourself, Drake. People are grumbling about you and have been for some time.”
“That’s unavoidable considering the size of my church.”
“Your church?”
Drake never chewed gum, but his jaw worked as if he’d popped in a piece. Finally words came. “You know what I mean.”
“I think you mean your church. And that’s the problem. You’re so caught up in appearances, you’re losing sight of the good work God is doing there—through you. He is using you, but you seem to be pointing more to yourself than to Him.”
“How do I do that?” His tone scoffed.
“You don’t let your heart show anymore.” Rex’s voice went soft. “I remember when Kenzie was the apple of your eye and you did a series of sermons about how God taught you lessons through her. This past Sunday, when you had the opportunity to reveal your broken heart and ask for prayer for her, you didn’t even mention her name. Not once.”
Wow. Rex was not following in the least Natalie’s suggested tactics.
He went on. “You can make all the excuses you want, Drake, but you’re pushing your family and your congregation away. You’re keeping them at arm’s length when they desperately need a leader who is real, one who’s been where they are and isn’t afraid to show his pain.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Okay, I don’t know what I’m talking about.” He could be so incredibly diplomatic. “The boycott is simply about a small group of women who are mad at you because—Because why?”
“Because they don’t understand how it’s necessary to express love by shunning one who continues to engage in a sin.”
“Hmm.” Rex leaned forward, elbows on knees. “Or—just thinking out loud here—perhaps they do understand all that. Which is why they’ve decided to shun one of your services, to express their love for you.” He paused.
“That’s a bunch of baloney. What sin is it I’m supposedly continuing to engage in?”
“Pride.”
He barked a laugh and cast a glare at Natalie. “Who told you that?”
“Nobody,” Rex said. “Nobody had to. I see it when you don’t reveal yourself from the pulpit. I see it when ten families leave the church in two months and not one new one joins. I see it in boycott plans made because a bunch of men and women, not just the Martha Mavens, love you. Drake.” Rex reached over and grasped his brother’s arm. “Get off your high horse. You look like you did your senior year of basketball when Coach benched you time and again for refusing to pass the ball.”
Drake stood abruptly. “You always did see things differently.”
“But I came over to your side.”
He frowned.
“Or God’s side, I should say. Who do you think faithfully showed me the way all those years I was running from Him? Who besides Faith Fontaine and my wife prayed me through my recovery after the accident? That’s the brother I want back. And if it takes a boycott to pull him out from behind his mask, well, I guess you won’t see me Friday night.”
Without a word, Drake strode to the door, yanked it open, and left.
So profuse were her own tears, Natalie almost didn’t see the ones streaming down Rex’s face.
Fifty-One
Susan stared at Natalie beside her on the seawall. Her sister-in-law had just relayed the conversation that took place a short while ago between their husbands. “It’s as if Rex told Drake we’re going to give him a dose of his own medicine.”
“That’s exactly what he told him.”
“Oh, my.”
“You can say that again.”
“Oh, my. I never imagined all this…this fallout about a private family matter.”
“Well, in a sense you’re not allowed private family matters. You’re sort of public people to us. But it’s been coming for a while, Suze. You didn’t start this. We lost members in January and February.”
“We did?”
“Ten families and none replaced them. We’ve had visitors, but not a single person has officially joined during that time.”
“I had no idea…”
Now Natalie’s eyes widened in disbelief. “No idea?”
“Drake doesn’t talk about those business matters…They must have been people who didn’t cross my path?”
“Probably. Since you quit running the Sunday school, your path hasn’t made much of a wide swath. But the point is, that happened as well as what Mildred and Leona told us about people noticing things amiss with Drake. And now Tess just called and said her core women and their husbands have felt the same way. They didn’t have the nerve to tell her before.”
“You’ve been crying.”
Natalie nodded.
Her sister-in-law never cried. “Oh, my.”
Natalie’s shoulders lifted as she inhaled. “I know I’ve resented Drake because he reminds me of my dad. I never really saw the goodness in him that you and Rex did. He can teach, I give him that.” She paused. “I asked God’s forgiveness and Rex’s. Maybe I’ll ask for Drake’s some day. Now I’m asking for yours because I’ve influenced you negatively toward your husband. I haven’t been the best sister-in-law or parishioner.”
Susan leaned over and wrapped her arms around Natalie. “You’ve been a good friend to me. But if you think you’ve had wrongful attitudes toward him, I forgive you.” She straightened.
“Thank you. So.” She pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes for a moment and then looked up, the bloodshot whites even redder. “Rex believes—in spite of Drake’s nonresponse—that we might have hit a nerve. He’s praying that once it all sinks in, Drake will see his pride for what it is.”
“And that his heart will melt.”
Natalie blinked. “That’s exactly what Mildred said when I called her on my way down here.”
“Amen.” Susan grinned. “Come on, let’s go get the pizza. I promised Kenzie fun, and this subject is definitely not on that track. It’s time to let it go for a while and party. Party hearty, as they say!”
The next morning Susan and Kenzie stood on the patio, wai
ting for Natalie and Pepper to finish packing their things.
Susan embraced her daughter in a long hard hug, mindful not to squish Pugsy tucked under her daughter’s arm. “I had such a good time, honey.”
“Me too.”
They parted and smiled at each other.
“Did you really? With us old women?”
“Really. You and Aunt Nattie and Pepper are the goofiest bunch of old women I’ve ever known.”
“It’s that boat thing, you know.” She fluttered her eyelashes. “It brings out the goofiness in grandmas and aunts.”
Kenzie groaned, but Susan caught the lift at the corner of her mouth. The slumber party had been a success: lots of laughter, lots of silliness, lots of openness.
“Hey, Kenzie, did you see June Cleaver last night?”
Her daughter burst into laughter. “No. I’m beginning to think you killed her off.”
“I certainly hope so. That woman should have been, at the very least, muzzled a long time ago.” She hugged her again. “I love you, sweetheart. Thank you for coming.”
“Thank you for asking me.” Kenzie’s muffled voice was barely audible against Susan’s shoulder. “I love you too.”
Susan wondered how her feet stayed put on the ground.
Fifty-Two
Pepper drove her van along the crowded freeway, unable to erase what had to be one major perky smile off her face. From the passenger seat, Kenzie chirped away, apparently voicing every happy thought that entered her mind.
When the girl slowed long enough to take a breath, Pepper said, “If you don’t mind my saying—”
“If I don’t mind? Now that’s a salty thing to say!”
She laughed. “Not the usual blast of opinion with both barrels, huh? I guess I’ve lost my peppery edge, so I guess that means prayer works. Anyway, if you don’t mind my saying, you seem more at peace after the slumber party than you did going into it.”
Kenzie flashed her impish grin. “I guess that’s because I am!”
“What happened?”
“I had a surprisingly good time. Everybody was so totally relaxed. So totally real, even my mom.”
“She set the tone for the whole event.”
“Yeah? Yeah. I guess she did. Aunt Nattie helped, but she kept saying how this and that was Mom’s idea.”
“It’s very mature of you to be able to give her the credit.”
“It’s easy to when she’s not hung up on looking perfect. Wow. She has come a long way since I told her I was pregnant.”
From the corner of her eye, Pepper noticed Kenzie slip a fingertip into her mouth and bite on the nail. “Kenzie, I think God is using your situation to show her she doesn’t need to be perfect, but it’s not your fault, not the tough stuff.”
“What’s going to happen to them?”
“Your parents?” Pepper steered down an exit ramp. “They will get through this. Your mom wants reconciliation. Why wouldn’t your dad want it too? They’ll find their way.”
“He’s as bullheaded as a mule.” She lowered her hand and smiled. “Kind of like me.”
“What do you think would get through to him? When you’ve been bullheaded, what’s made you change your mind?”
“Morning sickness.” She laughed. “I guarantee a good dose of barfing would give him a new outlook.”
Pepper chuckled with her. “So maybe we pray he gets stomach flu?”
Kenzie giggled again.
“Seriously, morning sickness made you view things differently?”
“Sort of. The thing was, I couldn’t control it. Yuck. Constant nausea. That made me realize I couldn’t really control anything anymore.” She shrugged, all traces of smiles gone. “But I dug my heels in deeper, like he’s doing now. Like he will do with this boycott thing.” She shook her head and touched her abdomen. “Then the fluttering started and Mom told me it was the baby moving. All of a sudden, I got tired of trying to control things. Aidan and this baby need me. They need me to be the best me I can be. If I’m behaving like a brainless mule insisting on my own way, thinking that’s control, I’m not really much good to them at all.”
Pepper blinked away tears, reached over, and patted Kenzie’s arm. “Okay. So we pray your dad experiences a fluttering of new life inside of him.”
Kenzie sighed dramatically. “I don’t know. I kind of like the upchucking visual better.”
Pepper held her breath as long as she could. Then the laugh rumbled and burst forth.
So much for being salt-like.
Still grinning, Pepper braked at the curb, a loading zone outside Aidan’s apartment building. “I’ll get your backpack.” She hopped from the van and hurried around to the other side.
“Pepper, I’ve got it.” Kenzie was already out and sliding open the back door. “I’m not an invalid.”
“Stop trying to control things.”
She smiled and backed away from the car. “Touché. You get my bag.”
“Thank you.”
“Sure. Will you carry it upstairs for me too? Maybe even unpack it while you’re there?”
“Sorry, no. I don’t want to get a parking ticket.” She wrapped her arms around the girl. “I only got out so I could give you a proper hug.”
Kenzie laughed and returned the embrace. “You are too funny, Pepper.”
“Mom!”
Pepper turned and saw Aidan jogging toward them, down the short sidewalk from the building’s front door, a gym bag bouncing at his side. He must have spotted them from a window and hurried outside. Reaching them now, he puffed. There was no welcoming smile on his face.
“Aidan? What’s wrong?”
“It’s Dad. There was an accident.”
Life drained from Pepper. Like receiving a giant shot of instantacting novocaine, her body went numb from head to toe. Aidan, Kenzie, the bright blue sky, and the apartment building faded from view.
Mick!
“He’s in the hospital.” They were holding her arms, steering her into the van, up onto the front passenger seat.
“What happened?”
“Somebody hit him. A car. A small car.”
She moaned.
“George called.” He named Mick’s boss. “Dad told him to call me first. So Dad was okay enough to tell him that. Which is good, right?” Aidan crouched in front of her, brushing his hands up and down her forearms. “The doctor’s doing X-rays and stuff now. George didn’t know anything else yet.”
Pepper started to cry.
“I talked to the girls. We all agree I should drive you up there right now. We’ll be with him in three hours. Do you need to go home for anything?”
She shrugged.
Kenzie said, “You’ve got your toothbrush and pj’s. Go.”
Still paralyzed with fear, Pepper sensed only one thing. “Pray. Kenzie, you’ll pray?”
“Of course.” She hugged her. “I’ll even get word to the Marthas. One thing I know for sure about them, they know how to pray up a storm.”
Fifty-Three
“Susan! Is that you?”
Sitting on the seawall facing the ocean, Susan turned to see Julian saunter across the boardwalk. She gave him a questioning glance. “Hi.”
“You look like a new woman! I almost didn’t recognize you.”
She grinned. A week ago, before the haircut, he waved to her as he drove away. They hadn’t seen each other since then.
He tilted his head this way and that, eyeing her from every angle. “New hairstyle. New clothing style. Very nice. Very nice indeed.”
“Thank you.”
“Not to say your appearance was ever disagreeable.”
A flush warmed her cheeks.
“I’m sorry, Susan. Your husband would not be pleased with the forward neighbor. I apologize for causing you discomfort.”
“Oh, it’s not that! On the contrary, you have a gift for making me feel safe.” She pressed her hands against her cheeks. “I’m just turning pink because I’m delighted someone would
notice.”
Smiling, he crossed his arms and slid sideways onto the wall. “Actually, I think it’s something beyond the physical changes that has captured my attention. There seems to be an inner glow emanating from you. Hmm. Might I deduce the sabbatical is working?”
She laughed and nodded. “Yes, I think you might deduce such a thing. I believe that’s exactly what’s happening.”
“Marvelous. What do you credit? The time away from your ordinary world?”
“Yes, and other things. There’s Faith’s house dripping with peace and joy. Friends and their prayers and laughter. We had a baby shower here, and last night I hosted a slumber party. You’ll never guess who came. Well, besides my sister-in-law, Natalie.”
“Who?”
“Kenzie and the boy’s mother!”
He widened his eyes behind the glasses in an exaggerated way. “No!”
“Yes!”
He laughed with her. “That’s wonderful.”
“It is.” She basked in the shared moment. “So much has happened. Have you been gone? I haven’t seen you for a while.”
“Yes. I’ve been in Florida visiting my son and his wife.” He pulled at his jaw a few times, and then a broad grin broke out. “And my very first grandchild. A boy. I was right there when he was born. Well, right there in the next room.”
“Julian! You’re a grandfather! Congratulations!”
“Thank you.” His face almost could not contain the smile. “I must say, there is nothing to compare it to. It’s quite indescribable. You will love it, Susan, in spite of the difficult circumstances your family is in at the moment.” He grew somber. “I may have told you or Natalie about my divorce many years ago. Naturally, that was the main reason I fiddled with the bullet in my pocket.”
She nodded. She knew the story of how his business consumed him and his wife left, how she remarried out east and another man raised Julian’s children. Only in recent years had his grown children begun to reconnect with him.
“And now,” he said, “I was invited for the birth. Imagine that! It’s a second chance to love a wee one in the right way.”