“Listen, I’m not going to argue any of this with you guys. The rules are clearly stated, and you all signed papers saying you would not participate in or keep from the National Headquarters, also known as the Grand Chapter, any hazing, hitting, mental abuse, or anguish and the like, and though I know some of you will get harder punishment than others, you guys are on probation this year. No dances, no Beta week—none of that. Focus on your academics because I’ve looked at your grades, and they’ve dropped!” Then she looked my way. “Young lady, what’s your name?”
“I’m Alyx Cruz. I’m transferring from a school in Texas.”
She smiled and nodded. “So you have a new addition to your sorority, almost like having a line of one. You guys take this new blood and work together. Let’s do the right thing. You need to focus on bonding, going to training workshops, and public service events. Then next year we’ll revisit, and if you’ve complied and there are no more infractions, maybe I’ll reverse this decision.”
A couple girls were crying. Everyone was angry, including Malloy. Just my luck. I was coming to a chapter that was suspended. Oh, well, we’d find another way to have a stellar year. I wanted to get to know the National President better, but she was in no mood after laying down the law, so I exchanged cell-phone numbers with Malloy, Torian, and Loni and went back down to my hotel room to pack up my stuff to head home. Being in Alpha chapter was really going to be a trip.
Two weeks passed, and those weeks had actually been difficult. I really hated leaving my mom down in El Paso. She seemed so weak and frail. Something was going on with her, but she told me she’d be okay and sent me on my way.
Because going to summer school at Western Smith had been a last-minute decision to help me get acclimated early in my new school, I didn’t have a place to stay. But the sorors had come through! After calling some of the Alpha chapter sorors, it was arranged for Torian and Loni to let me crash at their place. Word was Malloy had stayed with them a while last semester. I couldn’t believe some of the stories all the sorors were telling me that had gone on with this chapter. No wonder they were suspended. A soror from another school had actually passed away because of a severe hazing incident? Another girl had lost a baby in the same crazy car crash? A female had stalked Malloy and destroyed her property? This place was not going to be boring for me, for sure.
I was in the bathroom at Torian and Loni’s getting ready. I had a date. I had been on campus for less than nine days, and I already had a hot tie from the basketball team ready to hook up with me.
I started hurrying when I noticed the time. My date was going to be here any minute. But I was distracted when voices outside the bathroom door got louder. What were the roomies into it about?
Loni fumed, “Well, if you told her she could have company, she should have cleaned up this place first. She’s got our apartment looking like a hot mess.”
I leaned my head on the back of the door. Okay, I had to admit I wasn’t the cleanest person in the world, but there was no need for people to raise their voices and get all upset and everything. I’d straighten things up later.
Torian said, “Okay, but I didn’t think you’d be mad. She can clean up later.”
Exactly, I thought.
“I’m just not up for company, okay? Shoot, it’s been a minute since I broke up with my man, and now she’s having company?”
“Well, that’s just the thing,” Torian said in a odd voice.
What was the thing? I wondered. What did Loni’s breakup have to do with me and my new stud baller?
“What do you mean ‘That’s just the thing’?” Loni asked, reading my mind.
Then there was a knock at the front door. I looked in the mirror and left the bathroom. They could keep talking, but I had to entertain.
Not looking at either of them, I said, “I got it, girls! Sorry I didn’t tidy up enough.”
“I didn’t mean for you to hear me, but because you did, this looks pretty junky. Now you got company coming over. This makes us look bad. We don’t live like slobs,” Loni said.
“I’m sorry!” The knock came a little louder. “Coming, babe!”
“You don’t even know him, and you’re calling him ‘babe,’ ” Loni said, aggravated at everything I did.
Quickly I told her, “Girl, it’s just a figure of speech. Relax. You ain’t my mama.”
“If I was, I’d make you clean up after yourself a little bit better than you’re doing,” Loni said, rolling her eyes.
I opened up the door and gave Ronnie, the six-foot-four-and-a-half, fine specimen standing in front of me, a big hug. He smelled good, and he had the prettiest smile. Loni wasn’t gonna disturb my groove even if he and I had to take our fun somewhere else.
“Oh, no, you didn’t!” Loni said from behind me, even more upset.
“What? I can’t hug him either?” I said, really confused.
Ronnie looked at her in a very weird way. The two of them definitely had a vibe going on. I was caught in the middle, and I didn’t know what to say about anything.
“Okay, Torian, I can’t believe you would do this to me,” Loni said to her girl. “And how could you come to my place and see another girl?” Loni said to Ronnie.
“Oh, you know him?” I asked, trying to sort it all out.
Loni’s eyes welled up. Now I knew this was the other thing Torian had been referring to. Loni turned and walked away.
Torian went after her. “Y’all had broken up. I didn’t think it was any big deal.”
He came in, took my hand, and said, “Forget them. She used to be my girl, but you know—no big deal.”
Jerking my arm away, I said, “Hold up, I wasn’t trying to cause that kind of confusion up in here. I mean, she is my soror. They let me stay here. I just met you the other night. I didn’t realize it was all that. I don’t think this is a good idea.”
“Wait, you ain’t even gonna see me? I had plans and stuff for us.”
“I understand, but sorry.” I opened the door and shoved him right out of it.
Then I went into the room and saw Loni crying fully. “Hey, I’m sorry, Loni.”
“It’s fine. I’m just disrespected all over the place.”
“Well, I didn’t think you would be mad!” Torian said.
“What do you mean?” Loni asked. “Alyx didn’t know I went out with him, but he did, and so did you. And that’s why I dropped his tail because he is inconsiderate. But, Torian, you’re supposed to be my girl. Don’t you know that hurts? How you gonna let a man I used to get with come up in my house to visit somebody else? Please, y’all both need to get out. I knew we shouldn’t have let her stay here.”
“Hey, again, I’m sorry. You said yourself I didn’t know. He’s gone.”
“Whatever. Just go,” Loni said as she pushed us out of her room and slammed the door.
Torian just sat on the couch depressed. I had created a mess and didn’t know how to fix it. As hard as I tried, I had to get along with these new people, but there was still a big barrier.
2
FOR
I felt horrible that I had caused such a big rift between two roommates, two sorors, two friends. So I walked to the hall closet, got out my suitcase, and began packing my things. Yeah, their couch was comfortable and all, but the tension I had caused was way too thick. For real, I didn’t know Ronnie had previously dated Loni.
I was making the right choice though because now tears were streaming down Torian’s pitiful face. I knew she felt horrible that she had let her friend down. She was hurting, and that certainly hadn’t been my intent. I had already apologized and had immediately kicked the guy out, yet Loni was furious. Seemed logical to me that if I left for good as well, they could resolve some issues and heal.
“Where are you going?” Torian said when she saw me packing my stuff.
“I don’t know. It’s not like I have someplace to lay my head. I’ll be all right. I do believe things work out. Somehow they always do. I’m not swe
ating stuff like that.”
“You not sweating where you’re going to live? We can’t just let you go.” She went and banged on Loni’s door. “Open up! You got to come out. Alyx is going to leave.”
There was no response. I wasn’t surprised. I knew Loni was pissed. She couldn’t deal with me right now; she was working on her own hang-ups. Having no hard feelings on my part, I kept packing. Bottom line, I had to do what I had to do.
“I’m sorry about all this,” Torian said as she helped me place things into my bag.
For a girl who wondered where I was going, she certainly wasn’t trying too hard to keep me with her. I really wasn’t in the mood for hearing her whine and go on and on and on about how bad she felt for letting Loni down. However, I didn’t have a choice: I had to gather my stuff together, and she was talking, so I had to listen.
“I love her. I would never try to hurt her. I mean, yeah, I saw Ronnie talking to you, but I thought they were over.”
“Okay, let me just school you,” I said when I finally got fed up hearing her act like she had no clue why her friend was really ticked. “It’s just a code, you know? You just got to treat people how you’d like to be treated. You say you know her really well. So then you know she probably still likes that guy. I mean, the dude is fine. Why do you think I was trying to get with him? And me talking to him is one thing, because you don’t have nothing to do with that, but allowing me to bring him to her place, her space, that’s foul. To her, you placed a knife in her back.”
Torian stopped packing, gripped her head, and said, “But she was through with him.”
“Um, yeah, but not really. Why would she be all freaking out like that?”
“Wow, I see what you’re saying.”
“Yeah, sister lessons come when you live with them. Just learn from your mistakes and be better next time. Think how it would affect a girl before you make a decision. And who knows, Ronnie might have been playing me to make her jealous anyway.”
“That’s pretty cool of you to think that,” Torian said to me. “Look how cute you are. All the dudes around here have been talking about you the last couple weeks—‘Who’s y’alls new soror?’ ‘When are you going to introduce me to your new soror?’ ‘I like the Spanish chick.’ ”
“I’m just Alyx, okay? Yes, I’m different and I’m new, but the novelty will wear off. I think I just like to have fun, and I just don’t take everything so seriously. So many girls—so many of our sorors—stress out too much, and men hate that. Let go and feel confident. They’ll come flying to you, trust me.”
“You know what, I got an idea.” Torian reached over and gave me a hug. “Thank you. I’m going to work it out with Loni, but I think I know where you can go.”
“Huh?” I was real confused then.
About fifteen minutes later when I was all packed, Malloy showed up. She was smiling. I hadn’t seen her since the conference.
Malloy said, “Hey, girl, this is going to be perfect. I need somebody to stay at my place while I go to New York. You down for it?”
“Yeah, I can house-sit for sure,” I said as I got my suitcase and walked out of my bedroom, happy I was not going to be homeless.
Loni cracked open her door. She didn’t come out, but I could tell she sort of wanted to say something to me. It was a weird place we were in; I had hurt her unintentionally. So I broke the ice by going over to her door and saying, “Listen, I’m sorry about all this. You don’t have to worry—I won’t be talking to him anymore. And Torian really does feel bad. She gets that she crossed the line. Forgive her.”
“You really don’t have to leave,” Loni said as she fully opened her door.
“I appreciate that, but I think you two need to work your thing out. I’m going to have a place all to myself. Maybe you can come visit.”
“Thanks. Bye, girl,” Loni said as I walked myself out the front door.
When we got to Malloy’s place, it was new and upgraded with the finest of everything—even a granite countertop in the kitchen.
“Your folks must be loaded,” I said when I laid eyes on the new, furnished, upscale pad.
Modestly Malloy said, “My dad’s got a little penny.”
“And you’re going to New York?”
“Yes, I’m going to work with a designer. My man just got drafted with the Giants, and he worked it all out.”
“The awesome player from Southwestern Arkansas? Wait, that’s your guy? Dang, I need to be getting in your suitcase and going with you.”
“Maybe you’ll come to a game sometime this year, but for now I’m just thankful you’re going to be here. I had such trouble last semester with my place.”
“Yeah, I remember Torian and Loni telling me all about it. I’ll make sure nobody takes anything.”
“I don’t need to do no background check on you, do I?” Malloy teased.
I joked back, “You better.”
“Seriously though, no wild parties. I really don’t want nobody over here but you. I’m sorry, I know that sounds cruel. I mean, Loni, Torian, some of the sorors are cool. But nobody I don’t know. And no dudes. I just ... no.”
“Oh, no, your house, your rules. No problem. For free rent I can accommodate.”
“All right, girl. Thanks for helping me work this out.”
The summer session was weighing me down. If it wasn’t one test, it was some paper I had to do. Ugh, I hated school, and I knew I needed to get my attitude changed. Dang though—why was education so important? I mean, this was a summer session, for goodness’ sake. We were supposed to have a little fun.
So that’s when I hooked up with Bea and Trisha. They were about to be seniors. I loved their no-holds-barred attitude. We couldn’t have any parties as Betas on our campus—so we went to find sorors in chapters close by and partied with them.
“Thanks y’all for picking me up. Malloy’s house has everything, but sometimes the novelty of being alone wears off,” I said as I got in the back of Bea’s ride.
Before we went to the party we stopped off at a convenience store on some dark country road in Arkansas. I was hungry and thirsty and didn’t have a dime to my name. But that was not gonna stop me from taking care of business.
“I just got money for gas, that’s all,” Trisha said.
“And I just got a couple dollars to get us in the party. What you going in the store for, Alyx? You got some money?” Bea asked.
Swatting my hand, I walked toward the store and said, “Girls, what y’all want? I got this.”
“Oh, dang. You rolling like that? Hook us up then,” Bea said.
Trisha nodded. “Yeah, hook us up.”
I was going to work my charm. You know, flirt a little bit, get the cashier to go on and let me have a few goodies. But how come the seventy-year-old, mean-looking white woman had to be in there? What was a girl to do?
“Can I help you?” she asked in the most insincere way I’d ever heard.
“Uh, where’s your restroom, ma’am?” I asked, making her think I didn’t want any merchandise.
As I contemplated my next move, the phone behind the desk rang. Before picking it up, the woman pointed to the restroom. Slowly I walked back there, and thankfully somebody started talking her ear off. She got into some long conversation, and I could hear the four-pack of wine coolers and the large bag of chips just calling my name. I ran track in high school. So I opened up the case, put the four-pack under my arm, grabbed the bag of chips, and was headed out the door until I saw a pack of M&M’s. The cashier had her back to me; she wasn’t even looking at me. But I just had to have the M&M’s, so I grabbed them and jetted out the door.
“Go! Go! Go!” I yelled, taking no chances. “Start the car—go!” I jumped in the backseat, and Bea sped off.
“Okay, wait, what you got me all involved in?” Bea turned around and yelled to the back of the car.
“Oh, please, you said you were thirsty.”
“Yeah, and you said you had it.”
“I do have it. Here.” I handed Bea a strawberry daiquiri. “You want some chips and some M&M’s, too? I know you want some M&M’s.” I leaned into the front of the car. “Doesn’t matter how I got it.”
Bea said, “Yeah, it does matter how you got it. The police may come after us.”
“The police? Are you kidding? Girl, please, that little country store ain’t going to be able to identify nobody. Sometimes when you don’t have what you want, you can’t just stop, you got to overcome obstacles. Isn’t that what the sorority teaches us? We got to push through, persevere, get it done by any means necessary. Come on, you better act like you know how to work it.”
“Girl, please,” Bea said. “I don’t believe in stealing. That’s not at all a part of what the sorority teaches us. Are you kidding? All that stuff will come back to you. Tell ’em, Trisha.”
“Yeah, I’ve been there. I got caught taking chapter money,” Trisha said in a solemn voice. “I’d give anything to erase what I did, and I did it to pay my tuition. Still wasn’t right.”
Wow, that was news. However, I couldn’t let her stay down. I handed her a wine cooler also.
“Go on and drink it—you know you want to,” I said to Trisha.
Trisha looked over at Bea and said, “She gave it to me. I didn’t steal it.”
“Yeah, whatever. You can look at it any way you need to to make yourself feel better,” Bea said.
“But you thirsty, and you got something to drink, something that’s going to make you have a lot of fun at the dance. So it’s just a little wine cooler; it’s just something to munch on. Enjoy it. Don’t worry about how I got it.” I turned around and I looked behind us. It was pitch black. Nobody coming for us. Though it was wrong, it was all good.
“Girl, you are crazy,” Bea said as she held her hand out for an M&M.
“Crazy ain’t never killed nobody.”
“You’re a bad influence, that’s what you are. Open up my cooler,” Bea said to Tricia as we pulled into the full parking lot.
She was saying she wasn’t for it, but her actions were for it. Maybe I was a bad influence. That sort of bothered me. But what was wrong with having a little wild side?
Act Like You Know Page 2