“And now?” he teased. “Now you think I’ve gone and screwed my entire life up?”
She turned her head to stare at him in surprise. “No, honey, I think you’ve done everything you said you would do.”
Spence blinked, loosened his stance and rested his arms against the porch rail. “Really?”
“Don’t act so shocked,” she said. “You needed some time away, you got it, and now you’re glowing.”
“Thanks.” Suddenly, he wasn’t so certain he knew where Yvonne stood, or where he stood with her.
“I haven’t seen you so motivated in years. There’s a light in your eyes that wasn’t there in June. All of these are good things,” she went on. “I’d like to remind you that I trusted you to make the right decision at the beginning of all this. I’d trust you now, if you wouldn’t keep me in the dark.”
Spence let out a breath and rubbed his hand over his face. Leave it to him to be a jerk the second he felt insecure. He drew in a breath of salt air, and faced Yvonne.
“I’m going to propose to Tasha tonight,” he said.
Yvonne’s brow flew up. “I thought the two of you broke up, that you weren’t talking.”
He shook his head. “Tasha is just upset because she can’t see how this will work between us.”
Yvonne kept her mouth shut, but he was sure he heard her telling herself that it wouldn’t work out either.
“I am going to prove to her that it will work, that I will move heaven and earth to make sure it does. I think the problem is not me, not my job, not her job. I think the problem is that that she’d lost her confidence.”
“I see,” Yvonne answered, head tilted in thought.
“I’ve got the proposal to end all proposals planned for tonight,” he finished.
“And you think that will help her get her confidence back? Help her to see that you mean business?” Yvonne asked.
“Yes.” It would work. It had to work. Time was running out on the summer. He couldn’t let Tasha give up and go home without giving him a chance.
Yvonne let out a breath and stood straight. “Well, honey, at least I know you’ll give it everything you’ve got.” She stepped toward him and lifted up on her toes to kiss his cheek. The gesture was as sweet as it was shocking. “Just remember, the power of a woman’s crushed self-esteem is far more of a challenge than any grand gesture can break through. She needs to want to feel good.”
“Of course she wants to feel good.” Wouldn’t anyone?
Yvonne spread her hands in a gesture of uncertainty. “If anyone can win a girl, it’s you, Spence. Just makes sure she’s ready and willing to fight.”
He didn’t want Yvonne’s words to have as much space in his brain as they did. He wanted to have complete confidence in what he was trying to do. Really, he did. He spent the greater part of the rest of the afternoon on the phone, coordinating flowers and musicians as if he was staging a wedding. He popped down to the pier while Tasha was having an afternoon nap to see how the decorating was coming along.
As soon as he’d enlisted the help of Sam at the ice cream stand, everyone else with businesses or yachts at the pier got word of his plan. They all wanted in. Before he knew it, neighbors were offering Christmas lights, businesses were donating food—although for a proposal, he had no idea why—and every other person he came across thumped him on the back and wished him well. It was almost like he belonged to them, like he was a part of their community. That alone was enough reason to give him hope.
The hard part was getting Tasha to go along with his plan.
“That was a lovely dinner, Yvonne,” he announced as they were all pushing back their plates and setting down their napkins. They were eating inside, at one end of the dining room table. The finished puzzle took up the other half of the table. He only hoped he could finish his own puzzle tonight. “Tasha, what do you say we go for a walk to let it all digest.”
Tasha glanced up from where she had been staring at her plate, a glum, far-away look in her eyes. “What? Oh. No, I don’t think so.”
A twist of panic shot through Spence’s full stomach. She couldn’t be that determined to keep her distance from him, could she?
“It’s a beautiful night,” he said. “The temperature is perfect. Besides, there’s something going on at the pier that I wanted to check out.” He prayed that his scheme wasn’t written all over his face.
Tasha seemed interested. “What’s going on at the pier?”
“I don’t know, but they have lights and music. Wanna go check it out?”
She hesitated, pushing back in her chair and staring at the table.
“Oh, go on, sweetie,” Yvonne said, standing. “I made supper, I’ll clean it up. I’m a woman of many talents.”
“You made it, so I should clean up,” Tasha argued.
“Nonsense.” Yvonne took her plate from her. “Besides, when I say I’ll clean up, I mean I’ll get Duke and Mitch to clean up.”
Tasha cracked into a smile. Spence’s heart sped up. He beamed. This was going to work. It was all going to work.
He stood. “So what do you say? A little after-dinner walk?”
Tasha rose slowly and sighed. “All right.”
A pulse of victory pumped through him. All he needed to do was get her up to the pier and say what he needed to say to her, from his heart.
He fought to keep the doubt at bay as they headed down the stairs to the sand and started the long stroll up the beach as the tide came in. Neither of them said anything. Tasha hadn’t said much to him at all in the last couple of days, other than what she had to to get by. He could tell she was fighting her feelings, forcing herself to keep her distance. He could use that in his favor. If he held onto the hope that she didn’t really want to break things off, that a part of her loved him enough to try, he could get through this.
As they approached the pier, the soft strains of a string quartet rose over the gentle lapping of the waves. Someone must have seen them coming and told the quartet to start.
“A string concert?” Tasha’s expression was all curiosity at the rows and rows of white Christmas lights decorating the buildings and boardwalk of the pier. “I don’t remember seeing anything about a string concert. And where is everybody?”
He didn’t trust himself to speak, and shrugged instead. He thrust his hands into his pocket. There hadn’t been time to get a proper ring, but he had snuck out to the small jewelry store in town to get one that would work for the time being.
Tasha craned her neck to search around the pier for the source of the music. She scurried a few steps ahead of them when they reached the concrete steps leading onto the pier.
“I don’t get it,” she said. “Shouldn’t there be a ton of people around if there’s a concert?”
His heart beat fast and hard in his throat. “See. Celebrities aren’t always surrounded by fans.”
She sent him a questioning look as he reached her side at the base of the pier. The cluster of buildings at the shore end were all festooned with white lights and flowers. Strands of lights were strung between the buildings too, creating a canopy of sparkles. The business owners who he’d shared his plans with had been only too willing to help put this together. The pier was long and wide, but the whole thing had been swept and the trash cans that were usually in place for tourists had been moved out of sight. Lights lined the edges of the boards all the way out to the water. Even the boats that were moored nearby were decorated with lights. The string quartet played about halfway out toward the water. The only effect he hadn’t been able to buy, orchestrate, or borrow was moonlight. They were plumb out of that as clouds had rolled in later in the day, but the light in Tasha’s eyes as she stared at the scene was brilliant enough.
“What’s going on?” she asked in a breathless voice.
“Here,” he said, taking her hand. “Let me show you.”
Spence did his best to keep his emotions in check as he walked Tasha down the length of the magical pier. Co
ntrary to what Tasha thought, there were a few people there, watching from their closed shops or discreet corners. They were hardly noticeable against the lights and the soft strains of music and the sea. The light wasn’t as bright at the far end of the pier, but the cool breeze blowing in off the ocean and the scent of fresh, salty air was just as beautiful.
By the time they reached the last few feet of the pier, Tasha’s expression had pinched into a confused frown.
“I don’t understand. What is all this?” She turned to Spence for answers.
He faced her, taking both her hands, ready to dive in.
“This is what you deserve,” he said. “I wanted to show you what a beautiful, kind, amazing woman like you really deserves.”
She blinked several times and let out a breath. “All this? For what?”
She tried to tug her hands out of his, but he held them tight.
“Tasha, my life may have seemed exciting and glamorous before this summer, before I met you, but the truth is that it was empty. I’ve been missing something, something vital and soul-deep, for so long. It may have been a mistake that we ended up here together, but it’s a mistake that has changed my life and made everything come clear.”
He took a breath and shifted closer to her as she stared up at him, eyes round.
“We belong together, Tasha. I can’t imagine my life without you. You’ve brought me purpose and heart. You’ve helped me to see the man I want to be and the direction I want to go. Without you, I’m just a guy playing a part. With you, my life makes sense. I’m me.”
“Spence,” she began, soft and stunned.
He shook his head. “I know you don’t think our lives are compatible, but believe me, our souls are. External factors are temporary and can change. And I know you think that people will talk or somehow look down on you, but how could they? You’re a beautiful human being, and whether you were a queen or a beggar, the world will see that. You will sweep them off their feet the way you’ve swept me off mine. If anyone tries to tell you otherwise, I will fight them, fight for you, to prove them wrong.”
Tears made her eyes glassy, and even in the dim light, he could make out the color on her face. She swayed into him, but pushed herself to stand tall.
“Spence, I don’t know what to say to this. It’s all so….” She looked around, swallowed.
The strings reached a point in their song where the music swelled to full emotional intensity. This was it. He reached into his pocket and took out the temporary ring, a simple, gold band carved with a glittering sand dollar instead of a gem. He sank to one knee. Tasha gasped.
“Words can’t prove to you how much I love you and how willing I am to devote my life to keeping you safe and happy,” he said, taking her left hand. “The best writer couldn’t write lines full enough to tell you how happy you’ve made me or how happy we could make each other. Please say that you’ll marry me. Please say that you’ll be my wife and fill my days with joy and purpose.”
He waited. She stared at him, mouth agape. Tears ran rivulets down her cheeks and the sea breeze ruffled her short hair. Her hand trembled as he brought the ring to her finger to slide it on. Yes, he thought to himself. Say yes. Say yes.
“No.” She pulled her hand away from his and took a step back, knocking the wind right out of him. “No, Spence, I can’t.”
“You…can’t?” Hurt and something worse, embarrassment, thundered through him. He stood. “I don’t believe that. You can rise past the way that Brad made you feel, Tasha. You deserve so much more than that.”
“I know,” she said, blinking and wiping her tear-streaked face, then pressing a hand to her heart. “I know I do, but not like this.”
He was the one shaking now. He clenched a fist around the ring, fighting to hold his emotions at bay. “Why? Can’t you see that the world would gladly stop spinning for you? You mean that much.”
“No, Spence.” She shook her head and covered her face with her hands. “This is all wrong.”
“What do you mean, wrong?” He took a step toward her. The string quartet stopped playing, their music replaced by the shuffle of feet and whispers as the musicians retreated to give them privacy
Tasha stepped back. “This. This isn’t right.” She gestured to the pier in all its glory.
“Don’t you like it?” he asked, cursing himself for sounding so feeble.
“Yes, of course I like it. It’s beautiful. Too beautiful. It’s like something out of a movie.”
Her words were sharp and stung more than they should have. He twisted to study all of the hard work people had put in to decorate the pier, the lights and the flowers, trying to see it through her eyes. His heart didn’t want to view it as a shallow set-up, but he could see hints of that lurking. It had all been done from the best of places, but had fallen flat.
“The people of Summerbury helped me put this together,” he told her. “Everyone was willing to pitch in. They wanted to. Like neighbors.”
“And how much money did you spend to do this?” she asked. “How many Hollywood favors did you call in?”
He glanced down at the boards of the pier to collect his thoughts and marshal his frustration.
“Yes, I have money. I have connections. They come with the territory. Every job has its perks, even yours. You can’t fault me for that,” he argued.
She sighed, letting her shoulders drop even as she pressed her fingertips to her forehead. “It’s just so much,” she said. “It’s more than I ever expected and more than I des—”
“You can’t tell me this is more than you deserve, Tasha Pike. You deserve this and much, much more. Please let me give it to you.” He could beg all he wanted to, but he felt as though is chance had already passed.
“I want to,” she answered, her voice strained with tears, “but I just can’t see how it would work.”
“Then let me show you.” He took a step closer to her, and, blessedly, she let him slide his arms around her. “Let me show you how amazing our life can be.”
For one prickling, hopeful moment, she glanced up at him. There was so much longing in her eyes that he held his breath.
Then she pressed her eyes shut, releasing more tears.
“Can’t you see that this is all just a scene from some big-screen movie?” She tugged gently away from him. “The music, the lights and the flowers, the ocean background. They’re all perfect pieces of an award-winning romance. But life is not a movie, Spence. Life is real. It’s imperfect and disappointing. It kicks you when you’re down. And yeah, sometimes it surprises you,” she cut him off when he opened his mouth to speak. “At the end of the day, I need to live in the real world. The things I’m good at, the things I love, are all in the real world. Can’t you see that?”
“I,” he started to answer, but closed his mouth. Whatever he said next was too important to get it wrong. “I see that we both have a lot to learn about the worlds we operate in. And if we commit to learning, I know we can find a way for them to work together. I love you, Tasha, and I know that you love me. That’s as good of a start as any to find a way to bring our worlds together.”
“Is it?” she asked. “Is that something we can really count on?”
“We can if we try,” he answered, knowing in his soul it was true. “We just have to be willing to try.”
“But that’s the thing,” she said, too defeated for his liking. “If we try and fail, we’ll have nothing. We’ll be back where we started. I’ll be back where I was at the beginning of the summer, and I don’t ever want to go there again.”
She started to walk away. He stopped her, reaching out to take her hand before she could escape.
“Just tell me one thing, Tasha. Do you love me?” he asked, needing and fearing the answer.
She hesitated, squeezed her eyes shut, then let out a breath and turned to him.
“Yes, Spence, I do. Very much. You’re all I’ve ever dreamed of in a man. You’re gorgeous and caring and passionate about what you do and
who you are.”
“Then marry me,” he pleaded. “Let me show you that we can be perfect together.”
Her eyes met and held his for a moment, then she shook her head and looked away. She slipped her hand out of his.
“I can’t,” she said when the silence had gone on so long he didn’t think he could stand it. “I just can’t take the risk. I’m too fragile.”
“Tasha, you’re one of the strongest people I know.” It was work to keep the disappointment out of his voice.
“Maybe,” she said. “Or maybe I’m just as boring and afraid to take risks as everyone has always told me I am.”
“Not everyone,” he insisted. “Brad.”
“Even so.” She spread her hands in a gesture of defeat. “I can’t do it. I’m sorry, but I can’t.”
She turned and walked away.
Spence stood where he was, dumbfounded, listening to the sound of her flip-flops on the boards and the waves, rushing ever on, below and around him. His heart ached to run after her and find some way to make this right, but his body felt like a rock planted where it was. He couldn’t move. He could only watch her leave.
Chapter Nineteen
Before she was halfway down the beach toward Sand Dollar Point, tiny spits of rain started to fall on Tasha. They sizzled against her cheeks, a stark contrast to her hot tears. She charged through the thin layer of surf that licked up against the sand, taking off her flip-flops so she could feel the cold water between her toes.
What was she doing? She was walking away from the most perfect proposal she’d ever seen. Everything about it had her heart in her throat. The pier was beautiful. Spence was breathtaking in the sparkling light. Everything he said was perfect, and the ring he had tried to slip on her finger was charming in its simplicity.
It was too perfect.
What was he thinking? She’d broken up with him. She’d drawn her line in the sand and he’d stepped right over it. He should have known better. He should have known that things would never work, no matter how amazing his words were. He was a fool to get himself into something that would only hurt him.
Summer with a Star (Second Chances Book 1) Page 24