Why did he want them to watch the game?
Through the windows over the sink she could make out her son and Michael using the trampoline to try to reach a branch on the large maple nearby. They weren’t doing such a good job, but she figured the fun was in the process and not the end product. She sent a brief prayer to the universe that nobody broke anything. But the game was about to start.
Rapping her knuckles on the window to get their attention, Sonny pointed to the living room once they’d looked her way. The boys shared a smile and raced to toward the house. Satisfied they wouldn’t miss anything, she turned back to making tea.
The kettle had just finished heating and the tea was brewing in cups when she heard Janie call out, “You need to get in here, Sonny. The game is about to start.”
Excitement that she didn’t want to admit she felt jangled her nerves and made her hurry. Why did he want her and Charlie to watch the game? What could he possibly do that would matter or make a difference?
Trying so hard to cling to her anger at the shortstop, Sonny squeezed the honey bear fiercely and dumped way too much into a cup. “That’ll just be mine,” she muttered quietly and eased up on the poor plastic bear. So many emotions had gone through her the past few weeks. Everything from anger to depression to outrage had taken up temporary residence at one time or another. Other feelings like sadness and heart break she’d tried her best to hide from. She’d told herself she was doing it for Charlie. He needed her to be strong.
But the truth was she was hiding from herself. Because if she acknowledged how much she hurt, then she had to admit how much JP mattered. And if he mattered, and she couldn’t be with him, then the pain would be too much to bear. She was better off shutting down.
How could somebody so perfect, so strong and reliable, turn right around and do something so thoughtless? She just didn’t get it.
Charlie ran into the kitchen, startling her. “Me and Michael want drinks.” If she wasn’t mistaken, her boy had an extra spring in his step all of a sudden. It couldn’t be because they were about to watch JP, could it?
She decided to ask. “Hey there, kiddo. You look awful chipper. Any particular reason?”
Her boy shrugged his shoulders. “I’m just excited to watch the game. That’s all.”
Sonny set down the tea mugs. “I thought you didn’t want to see JP anymore after him not making it to your game.” That was correct, wasn’t it? Or had he thrown a change-up and felt differently and she just hadn’t noticed because she was too wrapped up in her own inner drama?
Probably.
Charlie raided the fridge for drinks. “I’m getting over it.”
Well now, how very mature. She wished she could say the same. “I’m glad, honey.”
Coming back out with his arms loaded, he kicked the refrigerator closed with a grunt. “Can we have popcorn too, Mom?”
She didn’t see why not. “Sure, babe. You finish getting the drinks and I’ll make it.”
Her son flashed her a grin. “Thanks, Mom. You’re the best!”
She tried like hell to be. “You too, big C.” Walking over to her boy, she dropped a kiss on his head. “We’re a good pair.”
And they were going to stay that way. Just the two of them. That’s the way it was meant to be.
Michael poked his head into the kitchen, searching for her son. When he spotted him, the fifth grader beckoned. “Hurry up already, Charlie. The game’s about to start.”
The two of them took off and Sonny busied herself with the popcorn. By the time it was done and she had it in a large bowl, the game was under way. It took some finesse, but she managed to carry the bowl and both mugs of tea out to the living room.
The boys had taken up residence on the floor in front of the television. As soon as she got close enough, Charlie grabbed the bowl and filled his hand with popcorn. “Thanks,” he said, his eyes already glued to the screen.
Finding a spot next to Janie, Sonny handed her the tea and sat. She tucked her bare feet underneath her and took a sip. Her lips puckered and she cringed. Wow, that was sweet.
On the screen the Rush put down two outs almost immediately, Peter burning up the field with red-hot pitches. The camera flashed over JP out at shortstop and Sonny’s heart climbed into her throat. There he was, gorgeous and intense out on the field, his ball cap pulled low over his eyes.
Emotions slammed into her as she watched him catch a grounder and sail it off toward first for the third out. She hadn’t expected seeing him to make her feel like this. But she felt like she’d just been sucker-punched in the stomach.
Was that why he’d wanted her to watch? So that she’d feel bad?
Charlie turned his head and looked at her over his shoulder, bare feet crossed at the ankle and bent up behind him. Though his eyes were a little sulky, she could see that he was feeling conflicted just like her. “Did you see the way JP got in front of the ball, Mom? I’ve been working on that at practice.”
“That’s good.” It was hard to yank her gaze from the flat screen. They’d just shown a shot of JP’s butt as he jogged off the field.
Janie made a little hum in her throat. “Dang, Sonny,” she drawled with appreciation.
True that.
First up to bat was JP and it seemed like everyone in the room tensed up with anticipation. The announcers went on and on about his batting average this season and other significant stats that she tuned out while he warmed up. She just ogled JP, eating up the sight of him. Something changed in the way they were speaking and she tuned back in.
Just in time too.
The announcers on the television said as JP stepped on to the field and headed for the batter’s box, “And would you listen to that everybody? JP Trudeau has a new walkout song. The shortstop has used the same song religiously since the minors. I wonder what spurred this decision.” The announcer paused and then added, “You tell me, folks, if Trudeau has made a mistake and this will affect his performance for the remainder of the season.”
The sound rose and suddenly Charlie leapt to his feet and exclaimed, pointing at the TV, “That’s my song! That’s my song!”
Sure enough, her son’s favorite song, “Tonight Tonight” by Hot Chelle Rae was blaring through the stadium speakers. As JP walked toward the plate the boy band rocked their little pop music hearts out, singing about there being a party on the roof top, top of the world.
Halfway to the mound, JP stopped and started dancing, mimicking the way she’d been dancing the night he’d walked in on her. Then he pointed to the Jumbotron just as the announcer cut in, “Would you look at that, folks? The shortstop is clearly sending a message.”
Charlie was dancing in front of the TV along with JP until the Jumbotron came on the screen. Then he stopped and yelled, “Mom! Mom, look!” pointing at it.
Sonny leaned to the side and looked around her son, her pulse racing and her stomach doing jumping jacks. When she saw what was on the giant screen her heart opened wide up and she started to cry. It read in red, flashing letters:
Sorry, Charlie. This one’s for you.
Janie gasped. “Oh my God, Sonny. Do you see that?”
She did. She so did.
The announcer cut in again. “Whoever Charlie is, they must be extremely special to the shortstop for him to pull this kind of stunt.” Another pause. “And will you look at the crowd? They’re going nuts out there, imitating Trudeau’s moves.”
They were too. JP had stopped shaking it and was walking the rest of the way to the plate, but the crowd was having a grand time rocking out to the teenybopper song, ignoring the game. Because, as the song said, whatever—it didn’t matter.
The camera zoomed a close-up on JP’s face and he looked directly into it, his eyes penetrating and intense. Then he held up a hand, palm facing out, and she could see writing on it. The camera focused further until the words became clear. Sonny read them and had to choke back tears. On his hand in black marker was written:
I need
sunshine.
The man was very obviously sending her a message. And it was most definitely received. Sonny felt it clear down to her toes. It vibrated inside her.
No, she didn’t want to be with a celebrity. Everybody knew him and everybody had something to say about what he was doing. Being with him extended that attention onto her and Charlie. She had already discovered what that felt like with the tabloid photo. It sucked. Really, really sucked. Just the thought of it still made her want to hyperventilate and hide under a rock.
But there was JP on national television, larger than life, making a complete ass out of himself. Dancing and writing messages and declaring his feelings. All for her and her son because they mattered more to him than what anyone else could possibly say or think.
That creepy tabloid photographer was on screen in the background snapping away like crazy. And she didn’t care. Because JP clearly didn’t. He made her feel safe—even with the whole world watching.
Suddenly it all became very, very clear. Opinions were just that. Opinions. And fame was nothing more than an illusion. What she and JP had was real.
And it had taken the media for her to see it.
That’s when she knew. Beyond a shadow of a doubt and it stunned her.
She was still in love with JP.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
* * *
THE SATURDAY MORNING dawned clear and beautiful and JP was in his truck and on his way to Sonny’s before breakfast. He’d made his play and was going to see if it had paid off. With any luck she had decided to not be obstinate and had watched the game. It was a gamble with her stubborn streak though.
The sun had just risen as he headed up the interstate, casting the Front Range in a peaceful light. August had come on strong, drying out the grasslands and turning the foothills golden brown. But even in the dead of summer he could still make out tiny pockets of snow up on the Rocky Mountain peaks.
It was one of the things he really liked about living in Colorado. No matter the season, there was always a view. Back home in Iowa, though it was pretty, there was a whole lot of flat. And he liked his landscape bumpy.
Reaching out to hit the power button on the radio, he thought better of it and pulled his hand back. Nah, he thought. The quiet was good. It felt right. The whole way up, JP spent some quality time thinking about himself—who he was and who he wanted to be. Then he thought on how he behaved in the world and how that behavior affected other people. Other people that he cared for deeply.
He’d been wrong to be so insensitive to anyone else’s feelings, to steamroll simply because he’d assumed everyone was on the same page as him. And he’d been wrong to be so self-involved that he’d stood up a boy who’d been counting on him. Every time that message from the kid popped in his head he flinched. It was the most humbling dressing down he had ever experienced.
But he’d deserved it. Because the truth was he had been expecting the relationship to unfold in a particular way. His way. He’d decided that he wanted Sonny and that was that. Any opposition or reluctance he’d just bowled over without even blinking.
He did that sometimes. Most often he didn’t find fault with that particular character trait. But now he could see the flaws and drawbacks. Could see how his tunnel vision had a way of pushing everybody else’s feelings off to the side.
JP didn’t like what that said about him. For the most part he considered himself a good guy, but when he was slapped in the face with a big ol’ character flaw and its consequences, it made him recognize his shortcomings.
Personal growth was always damn humbling.
Catching sight of the turnoff to Sonny’s place, JP adjusted in his seat, feeling nervous. Last night he’d pulled out all the stops and done his best to make a huge gesture that she would recognize. And if she’d watched the game then he was sure she got it.
The questionable part was if she’d actually watched the game. Knowing that woman and how hard-headed she could be, she might well have not watched it out of spite. There wasn’t anything he would put past Sonny. And he’d thought of a contingency plan in case she hadn’t watched. It wasn’t nearly so good, but he still had a plan B, and that’s what mattered.
He just hoped to hell he wouldn’t have to use it.
The arching sign that spanned Sonny’s driveway entrance came into view and his gut tightened with anticipation. He liked her wood SONNYSIDE FARMS sign. On each end a sun rising over a vivid green pasture had been hand-painted, the sun’s golden rays stretching off into the horizon.
She’d made a good life for herself and Charlie, JP thought as his pickup passed underneath the sign. A life that focused on the things that really mattered, that were at the heart of living. Love, comfort, stability.
What she’d made wasn’t flashy or artificial. And because of that she had a terrific kid who she could be proud to call hers. All on her own, with nothing but her own determination and iron will, she’d created something wonderful.
Sonny was a hell of a woman.
As JP came to a stop at the end of the driveway, he felt a pressure bear down on his chest. He played baseball for a living and had never felt this nervous before a game. But this wasn’t a game. It was his life and he was there to claim it.
Vader came ripping around from the side of the house, wagging his tail. It was kind of silly, but he liked that the dog recognized the sound of his pickup and didn’t bark. Instead he dropped his butt in the gravel and wagged his tail so hard his whole body was swaying. The Australian shepherd looked at him with a huge doggie grin. It was nice to be welcomed.
Climbing out of the truck, JP gave the dog a good pet and scratch under his chin. “Hey there, pup. Where’s your mom?”
He’d half expected her to come running out with a broom to shoo him off as soon as he’d pulled up.
The dog flopped on his back and held up a paw begging for a belly rub. Unable to resist, JP crouched down and gave him a good rub down. A hind foot started motoring as he found a tickle spot. “There you go, Vader. That’s the spot.”
While he was crouched there giving the dog some affection, his gaze took in Sonny’s property. Mature trees were scattered around the yard, flowers blooming happily in well-tended flower beds. The brick house sat simple and unadorned in the middle of it. Sonny’s workspace with its flowering vine cover sat off to the right and back of it, the small red barn just visible behind. The doors were cracked, which probably meant that she was inside milking her goats.
It was so peaceful here. All he could hear were the sounds of nature and the occasional roar of a far-off tractor. It was a nice change from the constant noise of the city.
JP inhaled the fresh country air, filling his lungs. Sonny had busted her ass and made a good home. He could be happy there with her and Charlie.
All she needed to do was agree.
For that to happen he had to stop procrastinating like a wuss. He played ball for a living and took on badass men all the time without a second thought. And yet he was terrified of one strong-willed woman’s rejection.
How was that for love?
Deciding to get it over with, JP straightened and wiped his hands on the front of his old jeans. No use waiting any longer.
Vader righted himself and nudged his hand with a cold nose, looking for more pets. “Not now, dog.” He bent and retrieved a broken stick. “Here. Fetch.” The stick flew through the air and landed in the grass halfway across the yard. The dog took off after it happily, his tongue lolling out of his mouth and off to the side.
Going in the opposite direction, JP was just passing the porch when Charlie opened the screen door and stepped outside. He took one look at the kid and felt his heart fling wide open. That boy was a gem and he wanted to be the one to help him grow in to a man.
If he would have him.
“Hey, Charlie.” But for that to happen, he owed the kid a huge frigging apology.
The boy stood there silently staring at him for what felt like an eternity. He didn�
�t speak, just stared hard at JP with big blue eyes and it felt like getting kicked in the gut. What if the boy didn’t want to forgive him?
While he waited for Charlie to respond, JP felt an acute self-consciousness, like he was in a lineup waiting for inspection. For a guy who’d never questioned anything, it was damn disconcerting to feel nothing about himself but uncertainty.
Anxiety built in him until he couldn’t take it anymore, the wait making him crazy. If the kid hated him, he just needed to come out and say it, because he couldn’t take the suspense anymore. And if the kid did hate him, it would be flat-ass devastating. Because as he stood there looking at the blond-haired boy with the giant blue eyes and freckles, he fell head over heels.
Clearing his throat, JP was about to speak when the boy shifted. Snapping his mouth shut, he waited for him to say something. But he didn’t. He didn’t speak at all.
Instead a slow, brilliant smile spread across the boy’s face. It started soft and ended up blinding and JP exhaled sharply. Hot damn.
Relief flooded him as the kid leapt off the porch and came running, his face lit with happiness. “I knew you would come!”
JP opened up his arms and Charlie flew inside for a hard, encompassing hug. Feeling his lips tremble, he pressed them together and held the boy tight. “I’m so sorry I let you down, Charlie.”
The kid had his head buried in his chest and his voice came out muffled. “It’s okay.”
No, it wasn’t okay. But it was a mistake he wouldn’t be repeating. “I was selfish, Charlie, and I hurt you. If you’ll forgive me I can promise it won’t happen again.” He’d make damn sure it didn’t.
The boy nodded against his chest, his arms still holding JP tight. “I forgive you.”
Thank God. “You’re an all right kid, slugger. I’m lucky to have you.” He meant it. The kid was one in a million.
Now if he could only get Sonny to forgive him too.
Charlie pulled back and looked up at him, blue eyes bright with unshed tears. “I saw the game last night.”
Playing the Field: A Diamonds and Dugouts Novel Page 24