by Janice Ross
“He’s going to come after us,” I whispered.
She flashed her hand. Didn’t say a word. All around us was quiet. I held my breath and only allowed myself to breathe whenever necessary.
Several minutes later she asked, “Do you have family nearby?”
I nodded no.
“What was he to you?”
I nodded again but then added, “Nothing.”
“You can stay around here and spend the rest of your life living in fear, or you can start over.”
The sound of sirens drew near. My entire body shivered.
“We’ll wait another couple of minutes before driving off. If we’d left as they were coming, we might’ve gotten caught up in their radar.”
“Okay,” I replied as the strategy sank in. My mind was a blur of thoughts and images. I needed to make sense of everything, especially my experiences. “What next?”
“That’s up to you, ummm . . . What’s your name?”
I had to stop and think. This girl was a total stranger. She’d shot Van and Axel. But, she’d saved me too.
“Taylor?” she mouthed.
I gasped and placed the back of my hand on my forehead. “No, it’s Shayna.”
“I’m Emma.”
“Emma?” I exhaled.
“Yeah, Shayna?”
“I’m ready to start over.” I leaned back in the seat and gazed out of the window.
She cut a quick reverse, but slowly maneuvered us away. At some point, we were flying. I wanted to cry. Kinda felt like I should’ve been sad about leaving this life. But honestly, how the hell could I mourn a life I’d never fully owned up to?
SIX MONTHS LATER
—————
SHAYNA
COMPARED TO South Florida, Delaware was a drag for Emma Boone and me. We’d sped away from our past lives so quickly that it sometimes felt like my head was still spinning. I was an only child. Didn’t have any cousins either because my parents didn’t have siblings. All my life, I’d been a loner. And now, being thrust into a friendship with a female, I felt stronger.
I sat at a shiny wooden table, my back pressed to the wall of a Creole gem of a restaurant in Old New Castle. Nora Lee’s was hot, much more than the spicy Cajun dishes they served up. Deeper into the spot, a bluegrass band provided entertainment for Thursday night happy hour. My new bestie had just gotten up from the table to walk over to some “spicy ginger.” Yes, her exact words.
She flagged me over. Me being me, I shook my head no. The music wasn’t exactly my speed, but an older couple at the table beside me kept bragging about their drive up from two and a half hours south in Maryland.
“Your boring-ass attitude is gonna rub off on me,” Emma stated between giggles as she hopped lightly on her toes. She grabbed my fingers that were leisurely placed on the table and squeezed. “I found the perfect guy for you.”
“I didn’t know I was looking.”
“No, sweetie, you aren’t, I am.” She spun around in the middle of the restaurant. Customers from other tables laughed out loud, and the “spicy ginger” from the bar walked over to whisper in her ear. Even with the lights drawn low, Emma turned beet red. She shoved him to the side. Not one of those weak types of shoves, but a man-sized push that nearly knocked him off-balance. “Let’s go,” she ordered me, then threw down a fistful of bills on the table. Emma let the waitress know it should be enough, and we left.
“I’m not ready to leave here,” she sang, while spinning around with wide-open arms.
“Whatever you say,” I said with a grin.
I hung back, and followed a few steps behind as the restaurant’s sounds faded behind us. The houses were near to the street and had a kind of welcoming feel to them. I didn’t mind being there, even with nighttime setting in. We walked down the cobblestone sidewalk to the water. The wind sent a slight chill our way, as we gazed into the calm September moon. It reflected Emma’s sudden change of mood.
“What did he say?” I finally built up the courage to ask.
Before she could brush things off, which was typically the case with her, a tall, slender guy stepped quickly up to us.
“My friend,” he began, but stopped. The doom and gloom feel of the evening suddenly left. This guy killed the dark mood and just that quickly brought light. His lips parted. Words appeared to breeze out, but I got trapped by some invisible force, magnetic that wouldn't allow me to look away. I was frozen. It wasn't until Emma shook my shoulders that I got thrust back into reality.
“He’s an asshole,” Emma said to the guy I couldn’t seem to disconnect from.
“Wha-what’s going on? Who are you?” Felt like I was learning to breathe again, to talk again, to think again.
“Just leave us alone!” Emma shouted from several feet away, further up and closer to the water.
The guy looked into my eyes. “I’m Lucas. The sane one.” His intro was meant for Emma, but our eyes never left each other. My insides, specifically my heart, fluttered against my chest. Something told me that he felt it too! Just picture a breach in time, when all doubts can actually fade away and be replaced with clarity. Yet I didn’t know him, and he sure as hell didn’t know me. Things like this simply couldn’t be anything more than a glitch in time. And soon, the universe would fix it.
And it did . . .
“Look, man, I don’t give a shit what you wanna call yourself. We’re not interested in what you or that bastard has to say.” Emma reached for my wrist, but I surprised myself by pulling away. She got stiff. I felt the prickles of her darted stare.
She was my savior and best, most amazing friend. I owed her loyalty, yet this guy had me locked into a radar I just couldn't shake. “I’m coming,” slipped from pursed lips before I launched my teeth down on the inside of my mouth.
“What the hell! Arghhh.” Emma moved quickly up to the marina-like block. A flash of wild tresses flapped behind her. One thing I'd quickly come to realize was the fact that Emma was a queen at entrances and exits.
“I was just trying to explain to your friend that Rory didn’t mean to insult her.” Lucas stepped closer to me. The light breezes carried a raw, animalistic energy with it. Honestly there was this type of fierce magnetism bouncing off of him too. He scared the crap out of me, yet at the same time made me need him near. And I hung on every word, like a groupie. “He speaks before thinking things all the way through; it's all innocent though. He wasn’t trying to insult her.”
“How did he insult her?” I woke up out of my trance. My focus flitted to my bestie for a hot second. She'd gotten close to a quarter mile away. My heart sunk, I felt like a horrible friend for not catering to her needs, but instead ogling a perfect, and I mean perfectly good, stranger. What was a girl to do?
Lucas bent his elbows to flush his hair through his fingers. He was like a fricken statue, standing close with a baaad-as-hell snarl extended across his sexy pink lips. My fingers itched to reach up and trace along the outline of his succulent mouth. This guy! Oh my gosh, couldn't I just freeze time?
And what he was giving me . . . hit just as intense. This guy’s gaze dug into me; his deep stare made me believe I was the only human, the only breath, the only food, the only piece of anything in this whole damn world!
We stood there, in this intense standoff, with a firestorm of energy surrounding only us. I can’t ever remember a time before when I’d felt a life, outside of my own, racing all over me. It was like a long-lost part of me had found its way home and was fighting to reconnect.
But I had to reject it because nothing good ever came out of my life. As far as I saw it, I was here until the universe got tired of me wasting space and air. So I shook my head, cleared my throat, and let go of my wishful thinking.
“What was the insult?” This time my words were even less sure as I fought out of his spell. I shook my head again, while forcing out the question, “What was it?”
“Not going there, but I wanted to say sorry, on his behalf.” He extended one le
g off to the side in a sort of relaxed motion. One word came to mind: charismatic. How could I be expected to defend my friendship when my body kept rejecting the seriousness of the moment. Yet somehow, I got bold enough to step closer to him and gaze intently at his lips.
“Shayna!” Emma’s voice traveled up and down the darn street. She hadn’t returned, but was about a block away. “Forget about him, it’s girls’ night.” Her words suddenly gave me an out. I had a reason to turn and walk away. My bestie needed me.
“I gotta go.” I forced a grin where my lip trembled in the oddest way.
“Your name’s Shayna?”
I nodded, slowly and like five times.
Move! Leave! Enough, Shayna, E-EFFIN-NUFF!
My insides burned, so I placed a hand at my chest. As if this wasn't enough, and knowing how weird I might've seemed, I passed my tongue across my lips. Five seconds . . . ten seconds . . . thirty seconds later, and I hadn’t moved.
He smiled ever so slightly, right there, beneath a bright glow from the streetlights. The setting might've been just right, for the right kind of people. There was no use in hoping. I doubted that I’d see Lucas again.
“Shayna!” Emma continued to bellow, “Shayna!”
Then the dreaded question came up, “Can I get your number?”
“I’m sorry. I don’t give my number out.” Boom . . . Boom . . . Boom. My heart flipped, beating against my rib cage. I'm surprised my entire body didn't shudder right there. Damn, I felt like a teenager instead of an adult. My lips, my attitude, even the sassy manner in which I desperately willingly shoved out my tits and ass. If Emma hadn't been in such a shitty mood, she just might've been rooting for me.
“So how will I get in touch with you, Shayna?”
“This is Delaware, Lucas. In case you forgot which state you’re in, we’re bound to run into each other again.” I placed one foot in front of the other and twirled away from him. I don’t know why, but I felt like a fairy princess. I prayed to the heavens that I didn’t get tripped up by the uneven sidewalk. Someone listened. When I turned back around, he was still staring at me. I did something completely out of character, and it felt fricken awesome—I blew him a kiss. This gorgeous stranger, with glistening eyes and perfect teeth was the only guy I’d seen in forever that I’d actually consider getting to know.
—————
LUCAS
THERE ARE TONS of females in this world. Caught a couple breaths over the beauty of quite a few, but the little thing known as chemistry had to be a damn curse. Lust was one thing; the kind that held a body captive. Chemistry was a world apart. Don't get me wrong. The whole physical thing still existed, but every other fiber from within formed and somehow conspired to make things click.
I didn't necessarily need to explain Rory or justify his behavior. His interaction with Shayna's friend had nothing to do with me or her. I could've, hell should've, kept my ass inside of the spot. But I saw Shayna leaving and I refused to let her walk away without at least trying to make my presence known.
And now, as I watched the neat little package move away from me, I willed her to find me again. Soon. Might sound ridiculous. So what. There had to be something to the power of positive thinking crap, right?
“Man, why are you standing out here?” Rory leaned an arm over top of my right shoulder. “See something you liked?”
“Fresh air.” I wasted no time in feeding him the lie.
“Yeah, whatever.” He slammed a palm to my chest. “Did you see that chick at the bar?”
“Not going there with you, man.” Sure, his attitude had given me a reason to approach Shayna, but I hoped it wouldn't keep her away. Several customers nodded our way as they prepared to pull open the heavy wooden door with a cutout glass window.
Rory nodded toward the door of the restaurant.
I shrugged in agreement. Yet for a quick minute, I gazed in the direction the girls had gone. Shayna’s sweetness played on my mind. She had the most inviting eyes. A rich layer of sweetness oozed all around when she was near. I couldn't help but crave another second of being next to her. If I stared just enough and squinted as tight as ever, my mind convinced me that I saw her far off in the distance, even in the dark with the low lighting. Perhaps she'd turn around and be pulled back by the spark between us. Just maybe I might get to connect with her again and find someone unique there.
But I knew better. Since when did I start lucking out?
Never, right?
—————
SHAYNA
I NEVER EXPECTED to see him again. That night, three weeks back was a fluke because Delaware was not the place to be. Emma and I needed anything but fun at this stage in our lives. We had just moved out of a trashy motel about ten minutes from the restaurant. I’d somehow managed to get enrolled for a counseling degree, which I doubted most of the time. Luckily, I’d saved enough money from my time with Van to not have to work. And my bestie, she’d chosen not to room with me.
Late one Saturday night, Emma rushed me out of my plain apartment. I’d barely pulled on a fluorescent blue, long-sleeved mini with flats and a leather underarm purse.
“For someone hoping to stay under the radar, you sure love going out,” I observed. She only thumbed on the steering wheel and hummed to Delilah’s heartwarming dedication to a caller’s long-lost love, You Found Me by The Fray.
The lyrics fed my secret desire for a happily-ever-after love. This wasn’t something I’d ever say out loud, though it was hard enough admitting it to myself. The song and words kinda got to me. Made me hope. Made me believe in redemption. I couldn’t help but wonder if some guy would find me someday. But then again, those songs were for the innocent, weren’t they? Not too many men wanted to settle down with a chick with more baggage than a little. Right?
I brushed off the thought and focused on the present to keep from falling for the lies. Chesapeake Inn was the perfect location to be hidden away. In such a small state, it was good to know that there were pockets of areas where one could escape from reality. Anyone that came here had to want to enjoy themselves, and forget they were actually in Delaware. That I’d already done.
Emma and I claimed the dance floor at the center of dozens of college students and a sprinkle of somewhat older adults. No matter the age, everyone blended into the eclectic atmosphere. The DJ showcased tunes from rock to country to reggae and beyond, yet everyone all rode the vibes. The only time we left was to go to the ladies’ room. She’d named me the designated driver, so I sipped on a cooler while she downed a tub mixture with ten different types of alcohol called Voodoo Spell.
As the night progressed, I walked out from the area with the music to find a marina with about a dozen yachts docked. It was breathtaking, the vessels swayed beneath the decorative lights. Even the moon reflected into the water. I fell in love with the idea of love. A teardrop rolled down one side of my face.
“Shayna?” The voice was familiar, but I wasn’t prepared for him when I spun close to the edge of the dock.
Before long, my legs gave way. I visualized myself crashing into the rippled water. Funny thing about it, I didn’t fight the urge to fall. But an arm captured my waist to pull me away from the swaying waves. In doing so, we crashed onto the concrete ground. Actually, he did. He also cushioned my fall.
Lucas and I became friends on that night.
A fierce rhythm from the left side of his chest to the side of my face, and I prayed to God that he wasn’t able to hear the wild beating of my own heart. His touch sent electricity over every fiber of me. And the bold cologne swarmed around us. My eyes were shut because I simply couldn’t let him see the effect he was having over me.
“Are you okay?”
Am I?
“Lucas . . .” His touch gave me life.
This beautiful stranger, who’d just saved my life, needed to know if I was okay. His arms captured my sides. His air became my own. His strength transferred to my weak limbs.
I didn’t know a
damn thing about him, other than his name and the fact that his existence gave me life.
“Shayna . . . are you okay?”
So, was I okay?
“N-no ,” I gasped.
A large hand palmed the back of my head as he began massaging my scalp, going lower to my shoulders and spine. My breathing sped up as I sunk all the way in.
“Are you guys gonna be alright?” Some voice crashed our silence.
“I’m making sure she’s alright,” Lucas said.
“I can have them turn up the lights back here. We never really have anyone in the area this late.” The worker’s footsteps drew near. “Is she drunk?”
“No, we’re fine.” Lucas’s words became harsh and carried a hint of annoyance.
“Fine, guy.” His footsteps grew distant.
“I’m sorry.” I laid my palm on a navy-blue V-neck. As much as I wanted to move away from the warmth of his arms, I simply wasn’t able to let him go.
After a few more minutes, we eased up, eventually getting to our feet. Lucas busied himself with my hair and mini. He pressed his palms to my cheeks, only to slide two fingers down to my chin and lips.
His touch sparked something foreign in me. I wanted to keep him close, to always be at one. He ignited a desire, an energy, a longing I’d never known; one that I never knew existed either. This scared the life out of me.
Every time I got comfortable, I literally heard Ma’s voice. Her reminders of what could and what should never be helped maintain my sanity.
“You’re not good enough for love.”
“Don’t expect to fall in love.”
“Love hurts.”
“Love sucks.”
“Guard your heart because giving it away will only lead to disappointment.”
Mom’s words became more real to me than the guy attempting to soothe my cares at this very moment. So I twisted out of his grip, and willed myself away.
“You can’t leave again without giving up your number, or at least taking mine.”