BONES COULD SEE the profound effect this one fact had on her psyche, and he had a feeling that he knew why. “You felt as if you had gone through all of that for nothing.”
“Yes!”
“That they had taken you, kept you, stolen your friends, and then discarded you like trash.” Bones was so angry that he was having difficulty keeping it all penned up. He visualized his kill-box. It was the place where he shoved his emotions so that they didn’t overwhelm him. He shoved everything he was feeling into the kill-box and slammed the lid closed.
“It was so easy. I think that’s why nobody believed me at first. When I first went to the police station. I don’t remember everything from that day. Or, I guess it was the middle of the night. I found a hospital of all things. I went into the ER and begged for help. I was a mess. They treated me and called the police. At that point I had been missing for six months. The cops were so skeptical! It was like they believed I had just run away and needed a convenient excuse or something.”
“Assholes,” Bones grunted. “Sometimes they don’t know what to do with things that don’t fit into their neat little framework for crimes. Thinking that someone is lying is their first thought. And unfortunately, there are many times when it’s true.”
“I wasn’t lying,” she said faintly. “I was just so confused. I had no idea that so much time had passed. It wasn’t as if there was a calendar hanging on the wall. Days just sort of ran into each other. It was always cold and dark. The routine was the same. You lost track of what was happening.”
“When you say that there were a lot of women in the first holding area—the boat—how many do you mean?” Bones was beginning to wonder how big this operation really was.
“I don’t know. Fifty?”
So it was very large, but not massive. Except that this was only one shipment. “So fifty at a time?”
“I don’t know. I was only there a few days.”
“Right.” He considered that. “How many were in the second place?”
“Maybe fifteen.”
“You were right about the clipboard,” Bones told her softly. “You were right about everything. It was contrived. Those men have lists. They make lists of women in the area that don’t have family. I would guess you weren’t on their list because you had a family that was probably hounding the authorities about looking for you.”
“I know that my mother did,” she confirmed.
Bones realized that there were more pieces here than he had realized. They just needed to fit the puzzle together. “We need to find the discards,” he murmured. “You can’t be the only one.”
She gazed at him, hauntingly beautiful. “I don’t think I am.”
Chapter Six
Marina yawned. She was exhausted. Not just because it had been a long day, but because she felt drained from reliving every moment of the most horrible days of her life. Still, she felt better. It felt good to know that someone understood. Nothing she had told him was a surprise. Not a single part of it. The idea was overwhelming. It was good!
“You’re tired, baby girl,” Bones rumbled.
He touched her face with his fingertips. His touch was so tender. She didn’t understand why he was being so nice, yet she didn’t want to look too close lest the sensation go away. Or maybe she was actually afraid that Bones would go away. Deep down it was difficult to believe that this wasn’t just some kind of fever dream.
“Is that where you sleep?” He jerked his chin toward the king-sized bed in the far corner of the room. There was a partition that shielded the bed from view of the front entrance, but there were no walls.
“Yes.” She started to get up, but stopped when he stood up.
Bones picked Marina up as though she weighed no more than a child. He carried her across the room in half a dozen strides. He held her against his chest, and she felt safe for the first time since all of this had happened. Then he supported her with one massive arm and pulled the covers back with the other.
“Don’t,” she whispered. “Please don’t leave me.”
He grunted. “I’m not going anywhere.”
He put her down in the bed and pulled the covers up to her chin. Then she heard one thump, and then another as his boots hit the floor. Her eyes fluttered back open as she wondered if he would get into the bed with her. Then he settled down on top of the covers, and Marina relaxed.
She drifted off almost immediately. The scent of Bones’s unique masculine cologne blanketed her senses. She felt protected. It was as if his pheromones gave off some kind of protector vibe. Nobody was going to hurt her while he was around. He wouldn’t allow it. And the idea that he would hurt her intentionally himself was an anathema to her brain. The man had done nothing but be kind and understanding since she had met him. No matter how much of a brat she’d been.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered groggily.
“For what?”
He shifted, and she instinctively rolled toward him. She threw one arm over his chest and rested her cheek on his bicep. “I’m sorry for being a pain in the ass.”
“You’re not a pain in the ass.”
“Oh.”
She started to say something else. At least she thought she did, but the words seemed to turn to mist, and she surrendered to dreamland instead.
BONES TRIED TO lock down his body’s response to Marina, but it was a damn monumental effort to do so. The woman was snuggled up to him in the most trusting manner. It was difficult to believe that she’d gone through hell, but he did not doubt her word. For some reason—and he couldn’t imagine why—she had latched onto him as a protector. The fact that she would fall asleep beside him spoke volumes, and he wasn’t entirely certain he liked what it all had to say.
He wasn’t qualified to take on this responsibility. It was a thought that kept rolling around and around inside his head. The woman hadn’t climaxed, had not had an orgasm, since her ordeal. That suggested to him that she suffered from severe control issues. As in, she could not trust herself to let down her guard long enough to reach that point where release was possible. From a sexual tension perspective, that had to be fucking miserable.
Marina stirred in her sleep. Bones lifted his arm as she curled up tighter, flinging her leg over him and tangling him in her covers. Seconds later he realized that he was smiling. He wiped the expression off his face and tried to focus on the moment. Except he couldn’t.
It was almost dark inside the loft, except for the golden glow of a single lamp across the room. In that minimal light he could make out the beautiful features of her face. He could not resist the urge to trace the perfect symmetry of her features. The tip of his finger skated over her elegant eyebrows and down the line of her nose. He touched the petal-soft surface of her lips and gently followed the line of her jaw. She was put together in such an exotic way. The woman was gorgeous. There was no doubt about that.
She sighed and wrinkled her nose. He couldn’t stop himself from touching it again. He smoothed the frown lines from her forehead and stroked her hair. The silky strands were thick and glossy. He picked one up and rubbed it lightly between his thumb and index finger. The texture was strong, probably what some would have described as coarse. The hair was straight and heavy. He wondered what it would look like spread across his belly as she kissed her way down his abdomen, her lips brushing the sensitive skin at the base of his cock until she went lower…
Idiot!
He reined in his unruly thoughts with effort. This was very likely not the time to think of such things. The woman needed rest, and she needed time. She did not need some horny Navy SEAL who had not been with a woman in over a year. That was something he knew for certain.
MARINA SIGHED AS she felt the dreaming and waking worlds mesh into one. She stretched a little, feeling achy in a way she hadn’t experienced in months. Her pussy was wet. She pressed her thighs together and felt a tiny jolt as a throbbing shot of awareness zinged from her clit to the center of her nervous system.
> What had happened? She snuggled deeper into her warm bed and let her mind drift back to the dream. She’d been with a man. Not just a man. A big, bare, broad, burly, and amazingly sexy man who had touched her so gently that he brought her to climax with nothing but his fingers and his mouth.
Would that be possible? Could a man touch her in that way? Her nipples peaked beneath her camisole. In fact, her breasts were throbbing. They itched as though they needed someone to thumb her nipples into hard little points. She wanted that man’s mouth on her. She wanted to feel his tongue curl around her nipple before he nipped her with his teeth and sucked her deep into his mouth.
She arched her back and gave a tiny moan of frustration. This had never happened before. She squirmed again and felt the slippery movement of the sensitive flesh between her legs. Her clit was positively swollen. She could feel the distended bud as it sent tiny frissons of pleasure throughout her body.
“Marina.”
The voice was low and a little rough. She whimpered. She wanted that voice. Or rather, she wanted the owner of that voice.
“Marina, wake up, baby girl.”
She forced her eyes open and focused blearily on a very large, very male person lying next to her on her bed. “Bones,” she whispered.
“Yes. Are you all right?”
“No.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I need you.”
The words were out before she could think twice about how he might take them. What if that phrase unleashed some sort of beast? What if he hurt her? Except she could not even imagine the notion.
There was a long pause. He didn’t speak, and Marina didn’t know what else to say. She could only follow the promptings of her body, the physical urges that drove her in this one moment. So she found his hand and drew it beneath the covers. She pulled it down over her belly toward her waistband.
“Touch me,” she begged. “I ache so bad.”
BONES WAS GOING to hell. Or maybe he was already in hell; it was difficult to tell. All he knew for sure was that he had woken from a restless sleep to find Marina moaning and writhing against him in the bed. Now she was trying to pull his hand to her crotch.
Her skin was so very warm and silky. He could feel her belly beneath his fingers, though he didn’t dare move for fear of scaring or otherwise hurting her. Then she wriggled, and his fingers slipped beneath her waistband.
The woman wasn’t wearing any panties. He could feel the soft, downy hair shielding her pussy, and he could not resist. Just one tiny touch. He had no intention of hurting her or violating her in any way. He just wanted to stroke her.
Very lightly brushing over the hair with his fingertips, he was rewarded with her moan of appreciation. The sound emboldened him. He tugged gently. She bucked her hips, and her thighs fell open in invitation. He went a little lower, stroking the fullness of her pussy lips. There was so much blood rushing beneath the surface that he could feel her heartbeat.
Bones knew that there were a plethora of nerves running on either side of her pussy. Those were what he stroked now. He gently touched the rim of her sex. He kept his movements slow and lazy. He didn’t want her to feel pressure or fear. But as he continued to stoke her arousal he sensed the heat coming off her core, and he began to want very badly to see just how wet she was.
Marina was moaning and pushing against him. Her eyes were closed, only fluttering every once in a while to show him that she was coherent. He let the tip of his index finger slip between her nether lips. The creamy wetness that met his touch was more than he’d ever dreamed possible. She was soaking wet. Even the sound of him sliding through her pussy was wet with possibility.
Then his finger brushed her clit, and she nearly came off the bed. Bones soothed her gently, realizing that she was almost too sensitized to tolerate that sort of stimulation. He carefully took two fingers and pressed her thick fleshy lips closed over her clit. Using this pressure point, he began to rub tiny circles with his hand. He pressed against her mound and gave her what she needed without overdoing it.
There was no doubt in his mind that she enjoyed his efforts. Marina began to pant and writhe against him. Her eyes were open now. She was staring up at him with a look of such wonder that it inflated his ego beyond all decent proportions. Her hips began to move. She was pumping with him as though she were about to come undone. He could actually feel her orgasm building at her core. It got hotter, and he felt her clit growing more and more swollen and distended.
Then Marina stiffened against him. Her eyes grew glassy, and she began to whimper. It occurred to Bones that she was actually fighting the release as though she were still afraid to let go. He carefully slowed the movement of his hand and released the pressure. She relaxed against him. Then he carefully spread her sex open and gently placed two fingers on either side of her clit.
She didn’t seem to panic at the touch. Instead, her breath hitched and her pupils dilated. It was enjoyment. Bones touched her for a few minutes, enjoying the slickness of her pussy, and the scent and feel of her arousal. He did not push her to climax. His instinct told him that she wasn’t ready for that just yet.
Chapter Seven
Marina had heard a thousand clichés about sex, climax, and out of body experiences. Never had she experienced one. Yet right now, as she waited for her heart rate to return to normal while she curled up beside Bones in utter and complete safety, she was willing to admit that she might have just flown to the stars.
“Amazing,” she whispered.
He didn’t speak. Instead she felt his arm tighten around her. The simple embrace was enough to undo Marina’s usual tightly held self-control. The word that came to mind right now was “cherished”. This man had given her so much already, and yet he’d never asked for anything for himself.
She took a deep breath, prepared to give him whatever he needed. “Don’t you want to—you know?”
“Have sex?” he rumbled.
“Yes.” Marina bit her lip, craning her neck around in order to look up at his expression. “Don’t men need that?”
“I suppose some do,” he allowed. “For me it’s more about the relationship.”
That didn’t make sense to her at all. Sex was a physical release. Wasn’t it? “What do you mean?”
“If sex was only about the physical, do you think you would be having trouble reaching orgasm?” He stroked her hair.
The action seemed almost to be reflexive. She loved the gesture. It made her feel as though he were comfortable with her in a way he wasn’t with anyone else. Marina knew how dangerous it was to get attached to this man, but she couldn’t help herself.
She applied her mind to the question and discovered that the answer was more complicated than she’d first thought. “I suppose it wouldn’t make any difference what had happened to me,” she began slowly. “If having an orgasm was all about the physical stuff, then it would just be about applying the right pressure at the right time.”
“Exactly.”
“So any stranger off the street could provide that release if there was no emotion or psychological piece of the puzzle.” Marina mulled that over for a moment. It was frightening to think that she might never be “fixed”. “If it’s all in my head, then how will I ever get past it?”
“Trust.” The word was a whisper. “There’s nothing wrong with you, Marina. Please remember that. Just because there are so many men and women out there who can separate the psychological from the physical and convince themselves it doesn’t matter who they have sex with doesn’t make it right. You’re special. You’re an intelligent and incredibly strong woman who has probably always known that there was more to sex than getting off.”
Marina thought of her own sexual history. “That’s true enough. I was never the one to jump in the sack with every guy I met. My sister always said it was because I was such a prude.”
“No.” There was an edge to his tone when he said that, but she didn’t feel intimidated. He was being protect
ive of her, and it felt good.
BONES HATED THE notion that anyone would ever try to make this woman believe that just because she couldn’t jump in bed with every Tom, Dick, and Harry, there was something wrong with her.
“You’re not what I would expect,” she whispered.
He glanced down. There was a small smile playing on her lips. Her scent was all over him, and it was driving him to distraction. If she knew about the thoughts in his head she probably wouldn’t be saying that about him. He was a red-blooded male, after all.
“You’ve got a sensitive side.” She said this as though she were making a huge discovery.
He cleared his throat, feeling uncomfortable. “Some people would call that weakness.”
“Why? Because you’re a SEAL?” She snorted. Even that unladylike sound was still delicate and cute. “That’s ridiculous. People say those things because they’re stupid enough to believe that compassion and empathy make you weak.”
“Don’t they?” Bones murmured.
He had wished a thousand times that he didn’t feel so much for others. His team knew that it was part of the reason why he was gruff and rude. Others never realized. They simply tagged him as an asshole and treated him like a Neanderthal. Sometimes he wondered if it wasn’t just easier to do it that way. Better to pretend the big guy was mean and unapproachable than to accept that he might see things and understand things that other people missed.
“It takes more courage and substance to offer mercy and have compassion, and to actually attempt to understand others, than to condemn people without a second thought.” Marina sounded as though she knew from experience.
“Is this what your family has taught you?” he wondered out loud.
“You mean is this what their rudeness has shown me to be true?” Her tone was so very bitter. “Yes, that’s exactly what they’ve taught me.”
There was a buzzing sound on the nightstand. Bones glanced over and realized that her mobile phone was dancing across the wood surface as it vibrated to let her know that she was receiving a call. The icon on the screen said MOM.
SEAL INVESTIGATIONS: A 5-Books SEAL Romance Series Page 35