Shooter walks as close as he can to the flaming hole and looks over. “Won’t be much of him left after that.”
Jeez. I’m glad I’m smoking. It’s helping to mellow me and covering up a little of the barbeque smell.
“Think he’s gone,” Shooter shouts back over his shoulder.
Wraith smiles. “Let it burn out. Then, Matt, cover him over.”
“I’ll help you, man,” Hyde offers. As the last member to be patched in, he’ll recall his prospecting duties.
The VP slaps me on the back. “It’s over now, Mouse. He’s finished.”
“And no one will know whether he’s dead or alive.” Yeah, the CIA and the feds will continue chasing their tails trying to find him. Another thing, along with how to get rid of him, we’d agreed on in church. Without a body, no one would be sending my woman back to Colombia.
The flames have died down. Matt and Hyde are picking up shovels. I smoke the last of my joint and throw the stub on top of the burned, twisted body. Then I spit on it. Turning around, I see my brothers walking ahead in the distance.
I start to follow them. The light from the flashlights behind me fades, and those ahead are a long way in front. I start to lengthen my stride, knowing I’m lagging.
There’s rustling in the trees around me. A Navajo wariness of being out in the dark creeps up on me. Ch’į́įdii. The white in me disappears as I quicken my step, forcing myself not to look behind me, unable to empty my mind of the Navajo belief that all that’s bad in a person leaves upon death, becoming a malevolent spirit, not lingering near the body, but searching out anyone who mentions the name of the dead to infect them with their evil. The dead man I’d left to my rear was likelier than most to have his ch’į́įdii leave him.
I walk faster as the rustling grows louder.
“Boo!”
Fucking hell! My heart, I swear, has stopped as Blade’s arm goes around my shoulder.
“Spooky out here, ain’t it?” he laughs.
Knowing he doesn’t know the fucking half of it, but not wanting to delay with a fist fight here, I just snarl, “Fuckin’ not funny, Brother.”
“Oooh. Made you startle, did I?”
Knowing he fucking knows he did, I just frown. He puts his flashlight under his chin and lights his face, looking like a Halloween figure. Fuck it. I can’t help but laugh at his childishness.
“What’s the hold up?” Wraith shouts back.
“Fuckin’ Blade, being fuckin’ Blade,” I yell back.
Christ, but I’m glad to be back on the compound. One last look behind, then I’m going down the slope to see my woman.
“Alright, Grunt. Sit.” Heart’s being greeted as if he’d been away a month, I dodge around the man trying to get his dog to obey, and see Mariana where I’d left her on the couch.
Drew holds a finger to his lips, and I see she’s sleeping.
“She alright?”
“Sore, but the painkillers helped.”
Mariana begins to stir; our voices having disturbed her. She wakes slowly as normal, stretching, wincing as her bruised muscles pull, then her eyes widen when she sees she’s in the clubhouse and not our room. I see the exact moment it all comes back to her.
“El…?” she begins to ask. But I’ve put my hand over her mouth, my eyes flaring in warning.
“Never, ever, speak his name again.”
“Tse?”
“Never, understand? Wipe him from your mind.”
Her eyes meet mine, seem to read it’s important without understanding why. Another thing I love about my old lady.
“It’s over. Finished,” I reassure her.
Despite her pain, she smiles as she tells me, “I love you, Tse.”
“Love you too.” I’ll tell her every day, fuck, a hundred times a day for the rest of our lives. Lives we can now get on with without fear.
Drew gives a teenage snort of disgust at our proclamations, and walks off grinning and shaking his head.
I take his place on the couch, and gently pull her into my side.
“I think I’ve got the Indian tonight,” she tells me wryly. And perceptively.
I laugh. “You have. If you weren’t sore, I’d be dragging you by the hair back to my hogan.”
As my brothers start celebrating, I realise I haven’t told her the news. “Sam’s had her baby. Another boy.”
“I thought Wraith was looking upset,” she giggles.
We stay there, comfortable sitting in the middle of the clubhouse. My brothers come over, checking she’s alright, giving her praise for what she did earlier. I stop any of them speaking the name before they can utter it.
When she’s going over it yet again with an admiring Blade, I rest my head back, finally relaxing for the first time in weeks. My woman’s safe. I’m still a Satan’s Devil. All’s good with the world.
I feel, strangely, that my white and Native American halves are finally melding together, finding harmony. That what I’ve always been searching for, I’ve found with her.
Chapter 44
Mariana
“What are you up to, Tse?” Narrowing my eyes, I watch as he once again quickly ends a phone call when I walk into the suite.
Standing, he comes over, leaning down to place a kiss on my forehead, before telling me, “Nothing to worry your pretty head about.”
I glare. If something was wrong, he wouldn’t be smirking. There are no lines of stress marring the beauty of his face. But something’s going on. I don’t like surprises, had enough of those over the past few months and none of them were good.
“Hey, Mouse. Have you…” Drew bursts in the door, his mouth snapping shut as soon as he sees I’ve returned from admiring the new babies in the clubhouse. It seems to me like the two men in my life had planned on me being away longer.
Pursing my lips, I shake my head, wondering if I should drop it, then I decide whatever’s going on, I’d rather confront it.
“Just tell me, will you?” It’s almost comical. Both look like they’ve been caught with their hands in the cookie jar, both guilty as sin. Drew’s wide-open eyes find those of Tse, whose own appear shifty. I step over to the bed and sit down, crossing my arms over my chest. “Okay, who’s going to start talking first? What are you up to? It’s something.”
“Mouse?” Drew sounds uncertain.
Tse sighs. “I was going to set it all up and surprise you,” he sounds frustrated.
“Don’t like things taking me unawares, Tse,” I warn. “Had too much of that lately.”
Chastised, he comes over, kneeling in front of me and taking hold of my hands. A chin jerk over his shoulder has Drew joining us and sitting beside me.
My brother’s gone from appearing worried to buzzing with excitement. “You going to tell her now?”
Tse grins, and nods. “Yeah. Okay.” He pauses. “Those phone calls you keep interrupting? I’ve been talkin’ to my mother.”
“Hanálí Lina,” Drew puts in. I smile. The Navajo for grandmother seems to take many forms, that’s the one Drew’s settled on for Tse’s mom. My brother became close to her while he stayed on the Rez.
A quick smile for Drew, Tse seems to like that he’s using a familial term for her, then he’s back to his explanation. “She wants to meet you. Well, all my Navajo family do.”
“I’d like that…” I start to tell him. To learn more about his heritage, and what makes my man tick. The white man is easy, the computer nerd as well. The biker, hmm, I’m starting to understand that, living here as I do. The Navajo part of him? That’s still a mystery. Seeing where and how he lived as a teenager, meeting the woman who birthed him, that might give me more insight into the man I’ve married.
His hand’s on my mouth, a sign I’m to let him finish. “Mom’s upset I married you so quickly. Nah, sweetheart. Not that I took you as my wife, but that we, in her words, ran off and did it in secret. She wants us to get married again, this time do it properly. In front of our families.”
The r
emoval of his hand indicates I now have a chance to speak. “A second wedding?” I think back to the misgivings I’d had about the first, doubting at the time it was real. Then I snort a laugh. “In front of our families? Tse, I’ve only got Drew.”
“No, you haven’t!” Drew butts in impatiently.
“Drew,” Mouse growls a warning, then laughs, saying to me, “I’m learning Drew can’t keep secrets.”
“Can I tell her now?” Drew’s leg is bouncing, it’s obviously hard for him to keep still. “Please, Mouse?”
Tse sends him an exasperated look, then with a shake of his head, says, “Go on.”
“The Satan’s Devils are coming with us. Well, not all of them, but some. They’re our family now, Ma, aren’t they?”
Glancing at Tse, I see him grinning. I still think they’re more his than mine. But I’m not worried if a couple come along to a wedding I’m apparently not going to have much choice or hand in planning. “So, I just turn up?”
For the first time, Tse looks uncertain. “Sort of. I’ve just left everything to Mom and my grandmother. Since she got the idea in her head, she’s been unstoppable.” The tilt of his head shows he wants me to comment.
Biting my lip, I start to understand Drew’s excitement. It sounds different, interesting. Intriguing. Something good after all the twisted shit we’ve been through. I place my hand against his cheek. “I really have married a Native, haven’t I?”
He covers my fingers with his own. “Not yet,” he smirks. “But you will.” Then he grows serious, “Good surprise, or bad one?”
I’m cautious, having absolutely no idea what form this wedding will take. Tse and I have come such a long way from that first almost-nothing affair at City Hall. As I let the idea sink in, I realise we deserve to have people, family, around us when we fully commit to each other for life, a second time, with no doubts in our minds. Doing it for all the right reasons. I give him the answer he’s waiting for. “Good.” Then I come up with a problem. “What should I wear?”
“Mom’s got that in hand.” His reassurance comes quickly.
It’s touching how much Drew’s looking forward to returning to the Rez, his eagerness feeding my own curiosity to see where Tse had lived after his father had died.
A week later we set off, going a few days before whoever will be representing the Satan’s Devils follows us up. I’ve no idea who will come along, but suspect from some of the words Blade’s been having with Tse that the enforcer will be one of the party. I walked in on one conversation where Tse was rolling his eyes and telling Blade he wouldn’t see any scalping at the reception. I had no idea what he was alluding too.
Drew wanted to drive his car. Luckily Tse dissuaded him, and borrowed one of the club’s SUVs for the long journey. It’s like travelling with two little boys, each excited in their own way and eager to show me the sights. Tse slows and it’s Drew who points out we’re entering the Navajo Nation. I look around at the bare scenery as if the sign would suddenly summon up tepees.
“Hogans, Ma,” Drew corrects me, when laughing at myself I tell him what I’d been half expecting. “Navajo live in a hogan. Mouse, we going to see Billy and his horses?”
Tse grins over his shoulder at my brother in the back seat. “We might,” he replies. “Just don’t expect to ride.”
As Drew pouts at Tse’s response, I’m just pleased to see him enthusiastic and happy. These last few months have made him grow up fast. Sometimes it’s nice to have the reminder he’s still a kid.
I hadn’t realised the reservation was so large. It takes quite a while before we’re approaching signs to Window Rock, turning off the main road before we get to the town. After that it’s not long before we’re pulling up at his mother’s house, hogan, I correct myself, needing to remember.
Tse stops the SUV, gets out unfolding his long limbs, and walks around to open my door. My eyes are focused on the woman who’s coming out of the eight-sided building constructed of logs, suddenly nervous whether she will think I’m good enough for her son.
Drew doesn’t hesitate at all. “Hanálí Lina,” he cries. From the slight quirk of her lips I suspect he’s butchering the pronunciation, but from the wide smile that quickly follows, see she appreciates the gesture, and holds her arms open for him.
Tse takes my hand and helps me step out. We’ve been driving for hours, a delicious cooking odour reaches my nostrils, making my mouth water and reminding me I’m hungry.
“Mom, meet Mariana,” Tse introduces me. “Sweetheart, this is my mom.”
“Mrs Williamson,” I hold out my hand politely.
“Lina,” she corrects, not standing on formalities and pulling me in for a hug. “You’re beautiful. Just like I expected.”
So’s she. She has the same facial features as my man, and the same long hair frames her face.
Lina and her mother couldn’t make me feel more welcome. Over the next few days I feel I’ve been allowed to open a window into their life. While Tse takes Drew off to visit Billy, with the strange promise to me he won’t let him ride, I’m prodded and poked with pins while the finishing touches are put on my wedding clothes, and the ceremony is explained to me. I’m filled with excitement. This is what was missing before. We might already have the marriage certificate to prove it, but this sense of preparation, people witnessing our union, being happy for us will make me truly feel like Tse’s wife.
If anything, Lina is even more excited than me. When I try to thank her for doing so much, while her mother looks on giving a snort of disgust, Lina explains she had a similar wedding to my first. City Hall in Tucson, no family around her. It’s then I remember she’d run off with Tse’s dad. Both women seem to be making up for her lack of a proper wedding now. Their excitement is infectious.
I spare a thought for my own mom, missing her dreadfully, wishing she was beside me, but feeling she’s watching over me, and would be happy for me.
Tse’s grandmother surprised me, reverently showing me a wedding vase made of clay with two spouts. In days past, she explained, a medicine man would prepare a love potion made of holy water and nectar, nowadays herbal tea or water is used instead. I admired it when she told me it was given to her on her marriage. I was taken aback when she said it was mine now. I could well understand how a vase such as this is treasured, and never sold, but passed down when, like in her case, a woman has lost her partner.
I held it so carefully, frightened I’d drop it, as she explained that the spouts are joined together by a looped handle representing the bridge that joins two lives. During the wedding Tse and I will drink from it, blessings will follow if we don’t spill a drop.
Each stitch in my regalia increases the anticipation. By the time the day of our wedding arrives, I’m more than ready.
I wear a pleated cotton skirt with a Navajo pattern embroidered around the base, with a matching long-sleeve blouse topped by a shawl woven by Lina’s mother. Knee-high moccasins made from soft buckskin which I personally love. I’m festooned with silver jewellery, made here on the reservation. My hair has been plaited in a loose braid which hangs to one side.
Once I’m dressed, Lina and her mother leave me, and Drew enters. Having no father, he’ll walk beside me today.
“You know what to do?” Drew asks, a small frown on his face. He’s taking this so seriously.
“I think so,” I agree, hesitantly. Lina’s been through it so many times, but I’m still worried about making a mistake. “Has anyone turned up from the Satan’s Devils?”
“Yeah,” he grins broadly. “Blade arrived while you were getting dressed. Mouse’s uncle’s been showing him how to shoot a bow and arrow. Think he likes learning new skills. Oh, and Mouse shut him down fast when he asked about scalping.”
I shake my head, Blade’s bloodthirsty, no doubting that.
“You look beautiful, Sis.” He holds out his arm, and I link my free hand through it. Leaning over I pick up a special basket, one full of corn mush.
“Let
’s do this,” I tell him. Worried I’m shaking so much I might drop my basket.
I know Tse and his family will already be inside the hogan that’s used for ceremonies such as ‘ahé’éské, marriage. He and his mother will sit on the west side, his uncles and the rest of his family sitting to the north. All I have to do is enter and sit on his right side. Tse and I will both face east, toward the door. The basket I’m hanging onto so tightly will be placed in front of Tse. My relatives, or Drew and Blade in this case, will sit to the south.
I’m aware of voices behind me as I enter, but until I’ve placed that basket so carefully in front of Tse, I don’t look up. It’s only then I stare at my man who’s smiling at me, love beaming out from his eyes. I can’t fail to notice how handsome he looks in a velveteen shirt of a deep turquoise hue, his hair tied up in some sort of complicated bun, white wool keeping it in place.
I sit down, then hear voices. Looking up, I see numerous Devils and old ladies have followed me in. I see Sam and Sophie, both carrying their babies, Eli and Olivia toddling wide-eyed alongside. Then there’s Drummer, Wraith, Blade, Peg, Darcy and Noah. Bullet’s here with Carmen, Viper with Sandy. Road, Jekyll and Hyde. The compound in Tucson must have been left nearly empty.
Blade sees my mouth dropping open and winks.
A cough brings me back to the ceremony which is about to begin. Tse nods at me in encouragement. Carefully picking up a jug in front of me, I pour water over Tse’s outstretched hands, then he takes the jug and does the same to mine. That part of the ceremony completed, Tse’s oldest uncle sprinkles corn pollen on the mush in the basket I’d brought in.
Remembering the order I have to eat it in, Tse and I take pinches of the corn mush, eating from the east, south, west and then north sides of the basket. Then the basket is passed to Tse’s mom, his uncle instructs she’s to always keep it safe.
One by one Tse’s uncles stand and give us advice on our marriage ahead, the oldest and final speech talking about the fire we’ve lit between us that should never be allowed to go out. Reminding us that our marriage is a new beginning. A new life, a new family. Words said in Navajo then repeated in English.
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