by Nana Malone
"That's it. See me, Nyla. I see you. I always see you. You're all I see."
And then with another press of his finger, I broke apart in his arms, having no choice but to go with it, to follow him where he led me. And I knew I never had a chance against East Hale. I was always meant to be his. With a smile of satisfaction, he kept up the onslaught, bringing me along with him despite my whispered pleas of no more, no more, no more. Please no more.
He leaned down, biting that fleshy part of skin between my neck and my shoulder, and he kept it up, bringing me the pleasure I would have denied myself until he followed me right over that edge.
East
Ten minutes later, I barely staggered to the table. I was aware that my clothes were disheveled and my hair looked like I’d been a very naughty boy.
"How much trouble are you in?" Ben's smirk was barely concealed.
“From the looks of it, I don't think he was in that much trouble. The kind of trouble he's in is getting his dick wet by an angry woman.” Drew chortled into his scotch. “That’s the kind of trouble I like.”
"Shut it," I muttered as I shot him a glare.
Bridge just shook his head. "Did you really think you were going to get away with not telling her we were meeting?"
I ran my hands through my sex-mussed hair and watched as Nyla and Emma walked arm in arm past the window, garnering male attention as they went. It was funny. That shit didn't bother me, the blokes staring at her and salivating. I knew they couldn't touch her. I already had. And whether she was angry with me right now or not, she was, in fact, mine. No one was more concerned with her actual physical safety than me. “I didn't want to worry her. I knew the girls were trying to meet with her tonight, so I took the opportunity. I didn't see anything wrong with that.”
Ben laughed as he shook his head at me. "Mate, when are you ever going to learn?"
I shrugged. "What? It was a solid plan. They were all supposed to be together. You were the one who got tagged by Emma Varma."
Ben's face went solemn then. "What are we going to do about Ems?"
Bridge sat back and crossed his arms. "Didn't I warn you not to let her join us? I told you, mate. I fucking told you. And none of you listened. All of you agreed that Emma deserved to be part of this. ‘Emma is part of the team.’ That was your choice. You did this Ben. So you don't get to ask now how we pull it back. You know her. She's like a dog with a bone."
I groaned. "She and Nyla seem to be two peas in a bloody pod. When did they become mates?"
"They must have become friends at my house after the other night." Bridge mumbled under his breath. "Fucking Emma."
As much as I loved Emma, this time, I had to agree. Because she was the reason I was now in the doghouse.
No, you twat. You are the reason you're in the doghouse. You didn't tell her. How would you have felt?
That singular question. How would I have felt? If Nyla had hidden something from me, I'd have felt betrayed. Like she was keeping secrets. Hell, I'd spent several weeks trying to destroy her because I thought she had betrayed me. Because we hadn't communicated. Fuuuuuck. I was an arsehole.
Drew's gaze searched mine. And then he started to laugh. "Ah, mates, he just came around to the idea that he’s the dick. It's quite entertaining to watch the realization happening.”
I grabbed my scotch and frowned as soon as I saw how empty my glass was.
Drew shrugged. "Emma did that."
“Is she even old enough to drink?”
Bridge sighed. “I didn’t like seeing her drinking either."
Ben shrugged. "You both recognize that she's twenty-three, right?"
I ignored him. "Secondly, why didn't one of you tell me I was fucking up so badly?"
Ben laughed. "Ah, we tried to tell you. We tried and tried and tried, but you don't listen."
"Goddamn it. I need to go talk to her."
Ben clamped a hand on my shoulder. "You know what mate, why don't you leave it for a bit and have another drink? She's going to need some cooling off time. The girls will talk her down after an hour or so, and maybe then you can sort all of this."
Christ, I fucking hoped so. After that taste in the back room, I wanted more of her. All the time. In my fucking bed. So I needed to get my shit together. If I kept pushing her away, not letting her in, I’d lose the fight. I'd lose her. And after not having her, I'd already vowed that I wasn't going back to that place. It had to be one way or another. Nyla and I were going to have a come-to-Jesus talk.
Chapter Four
Nyla
"So, you banged him?" Livy asked.
I shoved myself further into the corner of East's plush couch then nodded sheepishly. "Admittedly not my finest moment, but I don't really know what happened. We were fighting, and I was mad. I was really, really mad. And then, next thing I knew, we were shagging in the back room of the pub."
Emma chortled as she popped a piece of Manchego into her mouth. "Oh my God, you should have seen them when they came out. East was so ruffled. Hair in disarray, clothes askew. I know Ben is the self-proclaimed pretty boy of the group, but East likes his clothes, and he likes them just so. Clearly, Nyla did something to him."
I flushed. "Oh my God, I was going to ask if anyone knew what was going on."
Emma howled with laughter. "Are you kidding me? The lads were all doing their best to keep it together and not say anything in front of you. I'd bet you the moment we left they gave him an earful."
"Ugh, great. Fantastic. They knew what we did."
Telly shrugged. "So what? You just needed to get some. Look, admit it… You two are in love."
"That's debatable," I muttered under my breath. We had only just recovered from what happened before he shot me. Was this love? It was all too new.
She waved her hand dismissively. "No, come on. You're mad at him. And well, he did”—she glanced over her shoulder looking for Hazel and whispered—“shoot you.” In a more normal voice she added, “So we're all mad at him for you, but you love each other. We all know that for a fact. It’s just taking the two of you a minute to sort yourselves. Sometimes you bang. That's a given. It’s just what happens. Even when you're still mad. And you're perfectly within your rights to still be mad."
"God, he's just so irritating."
Hazel came in from the kitchen with a fresh bottle of wine. "Well, I mean it could be worse. He could actually be a bad guy. You know, hurting people and things. But he's not, right?"
Livy pinched me so hard that I almost yelped, but I knew better. Amelia just coughed and downed her glass of wine. Telly looked around and grinned wide, but she knew better than to spill the beans. Hazel had been an unforeseen interruption in our girls' night. She'd come by to ‘check on me.’ Presumably because Denning asked her to, but then she saw that we were hanging out and did that thing where people didn't want to interrupt, but then they totally did and became part of the hang session. Even so, the girls were nice to her.
Emma, however, was suspicious. "Nope, no bad guys here. He's just overprotective.”
Things would have been a lot easier without Hazel being there. As it was, we had to tiptoe around what we said lest we clue her in on all the happenings. After all, she was engaged to the enemy.
She nodded and poured herself a liberal glass of rosé before taking a huge gulp. "Okay, so if he's not an actual bad guy, what's he done that's so bad? Being a little overprotective isn’t so bad, right?"
I sat up straighter, careful not to slosh my wine over my hand. East would kill me if I stained his couch.
"That's not it. He's very overprotective. He thinks that I shouldn't do my, uh…" I glanced around, trying to think of the best phrase for it.
Amelia, ever helpful, jumped in. "He thinks Nyla shouldn't do her job, what she's been trained to do. He thinks that she should, uh, do desk duty."
Hazel winced. "Oh God, this is a tough one, because then you aren’t in the crossfire."
She didn't get it. She couldn't get that
he was only happy that I was Interpol when it suited him, but when it didn't suit him, he didn't want it. Which was hypocritical to say the least. But God, did she have a point? Hazel continued. "All I'm saying is that when you love someone, you want to keep them safe. Don't you want to keep him safe? If someone was shooting at him on a daily basis, wouldn't you want it to stop?"
I frowned. "Well, of course, but I don’t get shot at on a daily basis."
"But sometimes you do, and you can’t fault him for seeing that there’s a safer way for you to do your job and wanting you to take it. That’s just love, but you guys have to agree on some kind of middle ground."
Emma just stared at her. "So you're suggesting she needs to pretend she's not who she is, you know, to make things harmonious?"
She shook her head. "No, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying they need to figure it out. But he should realize that wanting to take care of her isn't going to help."
God, why was she here? She was so annoying. But she also had somewhat of a point. One, I was horny. Two, I was horny. Three, it was hard to keep fighting with someone who was constantly trying to take care of me. And it wasn't that I was ungrateful. It was that I wanted him to recognize that I was strong on my own and that I didn’t need him but I wanted him. I need him to understand that I didn't need to be protected.
"Ever since I got shot, it's like he's in protective overdrive."
"Yeah, and you've been the perfect patient, right?" Hazel asked with a raised brow.
Livy stifled a giggle. "Oh, she's the worst. She's even worse than me."
I whacked Livy on the arm. "Thanks for that vote of sisterhood."
She laughed and popped some popcorn into her mouth. "Hey, it's the truth. I mean, he's overbearing. Honestly. The handwashing of your knickers, that's some next level dedication."
"I'm pretty sure he's doing something untoward with those knickers. I don't want them back."
Everyone laughed except Hazel. "What do you think he's doing with them?"
Telly wheezed with laughter. "Oh, poor Hazel. I should really explain the birds and the bees to you."
Hazel flushed a deep red. "I understand what the birds and the bees mean. Hell, I'm engaged. I just don't understand what he could possibly do with her knickers."
Clutching her side as she laughed, Telly rolled onto her back on the carpet. "Um, very likely he's sniffing them and then wanking off."
Hazel went pale. "Oh. Oh. Wow. Okay, I did not need that visual."
Telly spread her arms. "Hey, I tried to warn you."
I snorted a laugh because I couldn't help it, which sent Livy into a fit of giggles. Emma joined in. Bryna, who had been in the bathroom, came out. "What are we laughing at?"
Hazel explained, and Bryna froze. But then immediately her face contorted into this twisted expression, and she fell out laughing.
As much as we were all enjoying ourselves, Amelia turned her attention on Hazel. "Okay, my dear, since you are the one who is engaged and dating Nyla's ex, we have to know… Why Denning? All due respect to my boss and all that, but why him? You're young and in a terrific graduate school. Your whole life is ahead of you. Why him? Of all people?"
Hazel tucked herself into the club chair in the corner. "I don't know. I know he's not always great or kind, and sometimes he can be a real dick, but to me... To me he's always perfect. He treats me like gold. And I didn't have a lot of that in my life. So that's fine with me."
Emma looked like she wanted to gag, but she mostly held it together. It was Telly who asked, "Right, so he's nice to you but mean to everyone else?"
I wanted to smack her. I did not want to talk about Denning, not one iota, and I wasn’t sure Hazel did either. But she invited herself, so she’d just have to take it.
I started to speak, but Livy's hand on my knee stopped me. Then she said, "Well, I get that he loves someone as kind as you. That's great. But wouldn't you rather be with someone who's... you know, generally a good person?"
Hazel frowned. "He is. He just doesn't show it. You know, work is so stressful, and he's not entirely focused on other people sometimes."
Livy raised a brow. "I don't know. I'll try to reserve judgment, but from what I’ve heard so far, his attitude leaves a lot to be desired. You could probably do better."
Hazel shrugged. "You would think, but I dated a string of loser after loser. One of them even went to jail. So, to me, Denning is everything.”
Bryna was the soft touch of us all. "Guys, leave her alone about who she's dating. It's her choice. Besides, if he's good to her, that's all that matters. We're not going to interfere because Lord knows none of our men are perfect."
Telly snorted. “You see, this is why I gave up on men. It’s always something. Half of your problems would be solved if you suddenly found women attractive.”
“Who said anything about suddenly,” Bryna said with a wink.
Telly clutched her heart. “Now she tells me.”
Amelia shrugged. "Uhm, I'm still searching for my man, so the rest of you need to stop saying 'our men' okay?"
As I sat back, I surveyed the room full of these new friends that I'd made. Sure, I'd always had Amelia, and she was my go-to. My solid plus one. It was nice just to have some other occasional solid plus ones too. People I could actually count on if necessary. It made me happy that, even with Hazel’s presence, I’d finally found my group. All thanks to a man who’d shot me.
You know he shot you for your own good, and you love him. So find a way to forgive him.
That word…It had been rattling about in my brain and wouldn’t leave me be.
I was going to have to find a way to forgive him. Because despite my annoyance, despite having sworn that we wouldn't be fucking again, I missed him. I missed his lips, his smell. I missed that smile of his. I even missed some of his domineering tendencies. I just missed him. And I knew that the way I missed him meant I wouldn't be able to let him go. The question was how much I was willing to sacrifice to be with him.
East
After the car dropped me off, I walked briskly around the corner to the hotel entrance. I barely had time to think about what the hell I was going to say to her when I got up to the flat.
Maybe start with an apology again?
Yeah, I didn't really think she was much interested in my apology at the moment.
You better find something else to say then, because we're getting closer and closer to the penthouse.
I smiled at the doorman who opened the door for me. The concierge gave me a confused look. I normally took the private elevator. I didn't come to the front door.
All of this to avoid the woman I loved.
Except, she doesn't know you love her.
Okay. Yeah. Slight miscalculation. She didn't know that I loved her. It would probably help if I told her.
Are you sure about that?
Maybe it wouldn't. Maybe it would make her feel more betrayed. Hell, I didn't know. I didn't know what women wanted. I wasn't good at this. Give me something to break into, something to protect, something to hack, and I could do that all day. But this relationship shit? I was fucking it up. I knew it, and so did she. And so did my mates.
Before I made it to the elevator, my phone rang and I picked up automatically, expecting it to be Ben or one of the lads.
"Yeah, what's up?"
"Well, I have to say I'm shocked you answered."
I cursed inwardly as I realized my error. I’d answered my father's fucking call. I never answered his calls. I had a standing order with my team at the office to never, ever put him through to me. If he came to the office, I was to be warned immediately so I could make a quick escape, a fast exit, anything to avoid speaking to him.
But I'd fucked up. All because I'd been so worried about Nyla and her feelings.
"What do you want?"
He sighed. "This is how it's going to be? The last time I saw you, you were angry with me. I see you still are."
"Yes, do you have no idea
why?"
"Not really, no."
"Wow. I see you have fully evolved into pure asshole. At least the way it used to be you wouldn’t pretend that you didn't know why I loathed you. Back in the day, you used to at least acknowledge that you were a bit of a dick. But this pretending that you haven't got a clue is charming."
Another sigh. "You and I are never going to see eye to eye, are we?"
"I could have told you that."
"I'm just checking on you. I know our next meeting is coming up soon, and Ben needs to set the agenda. I wanted to offer my assistance."
I stopped right there in the lobby, in the open for anyone to see, and asked, "What part of 'I want to be nothing like you' did you not quite understand?"
"You don't need to be like me, but I do have something to offer. And if you lads don’t tread carefully in the Elite, you could misstep. And that could be bad for all of us."
"Define all of us, Dad."
"Fine, for me, but also for your so-called mates, as you say. Things are treacherous. Not everyone was pleased about your friend becoming Director Prime. You have a lot of people that need to be impressed, a lot of people who need to be reassured."
"You recognize we're not in the business of reassuring people, right?"
"There's no need for you to be this difficult."
"I'm not being difficult. I just don't think you and I have anything in common or a reason to have anything to do with each other. I'm just exhausted, Dad. I don't know what else to say to you or how else to explain it. I want nothing to do with you, old man."
He sighed. "Oh, one day you will need me and you will find yourself alone."
"Okay, if that's all then."
"Damn it, East. You are my son. Now more than ever, we have a legacy to uphold for the Hale and Du Mont names."
I laughed harshly. "Let's not pretend that the Hale name even touches the Du Mont name in stature or importance. I wonder, did you ever think that Mum was marrying beneath her when she agreed to marry you?"