“Where you’ve been ever since,” Cullen said gently.
Tears shining in her eyes, Marie nodded.
Bridgett took her hand. “You don’t have to run anymore. Cullen and I will be here to see that you and Robby and Riot get everything you need.”
“You mean that?” Marie’s lower lip trembled.
Bridgett looked at Cullen. He nodded in solidarity. “We do.”
“I just have one question.”
They waited.
Marie’s chin quivered. She regarded Bridgett soberly. “Mitzy told me that you’ve been fostering them. I know you’ve been taking great care of both Robby and Riot, on Cullen’s ranch, and that Cullen has been helping out a lot, too. But...do you think you could ever love them? The way I can’t? The way really great parents always do?”
Bridgett nodded, her heart bursting wide open. “Oh, honey, I already do.” She bit her lip, trying hard not to cry. “I have since the start.”
Marie turned. “What about you, Cullen?”
His eyes filled with emotion. He closed his fist and tapped the region over his heart in the age-old sign of love and solidarity. “They’re right here, kid,” he finally said in a rusty-sounding voice. “They always will be.” He paused. “No matter what happens.”
He was doing the decent thing, just as Bridgett had. Giving the troubled teen an emotional out from a decision she’d made under extreme duress. Bridgett appreciated his valor. Knew it was the right thing to do, even as she mourned their own potential loss. But wasn’t that what being a parent was all about? Caring for your children, then letting them go, when life demanded it?
Marie paused, looking uncertain and conflicted again. “I don’t know if I still have any rights, but...would all of you...” She burst into tears, then turned to Mitzy, too. “Would it be okay for me to see them again?” She dabbed at her eyes. “Because I feel like I really need to be with them, at least one more time.”
* * *
A PART OF Bridgett had always known it was possible that whoever had left Robby and Riot in such distress would have a change of heart. Resurface. Ask for a second chance.
Experiencing it, however, was more numbing and heartrending than even she’d expected.
Cullen seemed awfully quiet, too, as they picked up Robby and Riot and drove back to the ranch.
“Are you okay?” Cullen asked finally, as they neared the Western Cross. His large hands gripped the steering wheel. “Because you don’t have to be the one to take Riot and Robby to the hospital to visit Marie tomorrow. Mitzy and I can do it.”
Why put off the inevitable? Especially if this was where fate was leading them.
“No.” Bridgett girded her heart. “I think it’s important Marie see them—now that she’s in a place she can get the help she would need to keep them.” Help that a few weeks ago the runaway teen didn’t think was even possible. She swallowed. “I don’t want to bail—just because things might not go my way. I owe it to everyone to see this through.” That was what being a foster mother was about. Loving, and then doing what was right for everyone in the end, even if it was agonizing for her.
She slanted Cullen a glance. He seemed to fill the cab.
“I feel that way, too,” he admitted, reaching over to take her hand in a grip that was as strong and reassuring as ever.
Bridgett drew from his courage. “In any case, we have at least one more night with them. I’d really like to savor it.”
And they did. Having what could very well be their last “family” dinner out on the back porch. Taking both puppy and baby for a long walk around the Western Cross. Lingering over the nightly bedtime routine.
Meeting up in the master bedroom, when Riot and Robby were both sound asleep, to make love one last, bittersweet time. At least, that was the way she saw it. Cullen, however, had other ideas.
“This is our destiny, Bridgett,” he told her, holding her close.
The irony of the situation was not lost on her. Nor should it be on him. She flushed as her emotions rose. “Let’s not romanticize this, Cullen. If this path to family closes, another one will open up.”
“I’ll make sure it does,” he promised, his expression suddenly one of concern. “But sometimes in life you have to let things play out the way they’re meant to.” Even though waiting was the hardest part.
They made love throughout the night, and the next day took both puppy and baby to the hospital. The visit was a pleasant one. As they convened in the rooftop solarium, Marie asked a ton of questions about both Robby and Riot. She petted the puppy and held the baby briefly, then turned both back over to Bridgett and Cullen, watching the way they interacted with each other.
In between subsequent visits over the next couple of days, she met privately with Mitzy, and a psychologist and counselor.
Finally, Marie was well enough to be released.
And she made her decision.
Mitzy made the trip out to the Western Cross to tell Bridgett and Cullen the news. “Marie wants the two of you to adopt Robby and keep Riot.”
Bridgett did a double take. Relieved and yet... “Together?”
“Marie has thought about it and thinks two loving parents would be way better than just one.”
Obviously drawing on his own childhood difficulties, Cullen said gruffly, “Can’t disagree with her there.”
Although Bridgett knew that was true, the last thing she wanted to do was back Cullen into a corner, the way her ex had once tried to force her into something she’d wanted in the long run but wasn’t ready for at that moment.
Determined to give him an out, the same way she had given Marie one, she pointed out quietly, “But we’re not married.”
Mitzy shot back, “Are you going to be?”
Put on the spot, Bridgett flushed and shrugged. She couldn’t quite look Cullen in the eye. “I don’t even know how to answer that,” she mumbled finally.
Neither, apparently, did Cullen, judging by his silence.
Mitzy continued, “Because it would make a difference with the court, if you are. In any case, Marie is prepared to surrender all rights to the baby and the puppy as long as one or both of you follow through on your promise to care for the child. So we can put your wish to become mutually responsible in the same petition or separate ones. Or go back to the original plan and just let Bridgett foster-adopt on her own.”
“And in the meantime?” Cullen asked.
“Formally,” Mitzy explained, “Robby and Riot remain with Bridgett, since she is the approved foster mother.”
Bridgett cleared her throat. All along she had been prepared for everything but this—figuring out what exactly she and Cullen meant to each other.
Was it real?
Or was it an infatuation—at least on his part—generated by the way they had been playing house? “Do I have leeway about where I care for them while I figure everything out?” Bridgett asked.
“Yes.” Mitzy smiled. “You can stay at the Western Cross, if that works for all of you. Or move in with family. In the department’s eyes, you’ve more than proven yourself a stellar foster parent, Bridgett, so really, it’s up to you.”
Except it wasn’t.
Because if she wanted to stay, she would be putting Cullen on the spot.
His own emotions under wraps, Cullen asked, “What about the foster-adoption? If I ask to be included in that, is the court going to approve my request?”
“If you were married to Bridgett? Both petitioning to formally adopt? Yes, it would be a sure thing. Especially, Cullen, since you are one of the McCabes and Bridgett is a Monroe, to whom family is all.”
“Except...” Bridgett hated to point it out, yet again. “Cullen and I aren’t married.” They weren’t technically even dating!
A heavy silence fell between them as the implications of all that was at
stake hung in the air.
Finally, Cullen asked, “What happens in regard to the baby’s biological father?”
Mitzy frowned. “There were ten thousand people at that music festival in Houston. Even if she had a picture of the father—which she apparently does not—she doesn’t have his real name or phone number. There’s no way to track him down.”
So Robby would never know the identity of his biological father, Bridgett realized, as Cullen hadn’t for so many years.
“What will the birth certificate say?” Cullen asked.
“That the father is unknown. Until he is formally adopted,” Mitzy admitted. “Then, if Robby has an adoptive father, the birth certificate can be legally changed to reflect that.”
Reason enough, Bridgett thought, knowing Cullen’s gallant, loving and caring heart, for him to go forward. And while that might be—probably was—the right thing to do for Robby, was it the right thing to do for the two of them? Especially if their relationship was based on friendship and passion rather than love? It was one thing to carry on an affair, with no real ties holding them down or back. Another, to find themselves boxed in by circumstances beyond their control.
Her breath hitched. They’d been so focused on solving the mystery, clearing Cullen’s name and caring for Robby and Riot, she and Cullen hadn’t given any thought to their relationship in the long term. All he had said, when pressed, was that he wanted to concentrate on the “here and now.”
Not wanting to find out that it was mutual loneliness plus crisis propelling them together, she swallowed, focusing on things that were easier for her to deal with emotionally. “What about Marie? What is going to happen to her?”
Mitzy sighed sadly. “She was right about her parents. We finally tracked them down. And they want nothing to do with Marie or her problems. So she is going to a girls’ ranch in North Texas for the next two years. She’s very excited about it. She’s going to be able to work with horses, finish high school and get the counseling and group therapy she needs to recover from her ordeal, as well as start community college. They’ll help her get loans and scholarships.”
“Will she stay in touch?”
“She’s open to it, eventually, if you are. Right now, though, she wants to concentrate on getting her life together.” Mitzy gathered up her things. “Look, I know you need to think about all of this. Talk it over. Obviously it is a big decision, so I want you to take your time.”
Cullen turned to Bridgett as Mitzy drove down the lane. He seemed as relieved as she was fraught with anxiety. “Congratulations, Mom.”
Not sure whether she should say “Congratulations Dad!” or not, Bridgett held up a staying hand. Her feelings an incredible jumbled-up mess, she countered in a low, strangled voice, “Let’s not go there just yet.”
He released an impatient breath. “Why not?”
“I don’t want to jinx it. There are still so many things that could go wrong.”
“Not if we get married. Then it sounds like it will be a slam dunk.”
Bridgett’s mouth opened in an O of surprise. “What did you say?”
“You heard Mitzy. Getting approved won’t be a problem if we get married.”
“For the baby?”
“And the puppy. And us,” he retorted cheerfully. “We make a great team, Bridgett. The last few weeks have shown us that.”
Her overwhelming need for him to be happy remained intact. He would not be, if he never experienced the kind of all-encompassing love she still wanted. Not that their relationship would immediately crash and burn. They’d probably be fine for a while. But then one of two things would happen. He’d either realize he had settled, in marrying her, or he’d fall in love with someone else and be torn between what he had already promised and what he wanted and needed. Either way, they’d be miserable and brokenhearted. Robby and Riot would suffer, too. The way he had suffered when his mother had split up with Buck.
Resolved to limit the damage as much as she could, she reminded him of all the success that still lay ahead for him. “You have an offer to buy a huge ranch in Nebraska.”
He stared at her, looking every bit as blindsided as she felt when he had offered to marry her in order to give Robby a daddy and make the foster-adoption go smoother.
“So?” The happiness left his eyes. In its place, something hard and forbidding took over.
Her throat ached almost as much as her heart. “So, if we were to get married you would have to stay here, with us.”
He stepped back and ran his hands through his hair. “I thought that was what you’d want,” he snapped, looking confused.
Her eyes burning, she replied warily. “Not if it makes you feel trapped. I was nearly forced into marriage with Aaron because he wanted to have kids right away. It was a miserable experience. Having lived it, I can’t put anyone else through it.”
He stared at her in mounting disappointment. “So you’re saying that clinching the adoption is the only reason you’d marry me.”
Hurt he would think she was saying this because she had no regard for his feelings, she stepped forward and countered, as calmly as possible, “I’m saying it’s not enough reason to rush into anything. I can petition to adopt right away without slowing things down. You can petition, too, if you decide not to go to Nebraska, and go through the home study and the background checks and all of that.”
“And if I don’t go. Would you and Robby and Riot stay here with me or live elsewhere?”
Talk about a loaded question!
She shrugged, feeling every bit as boxed in as he. Like they needed to take a step back. Give each other a little time to breathe. Think about what they each really felt. “I’d move in with Bess.” Hopefully, temporarily. “The point is, if you do decide to stay and foster-adopt with me, we could still see each other all the time—without actually living together.”
His face was a bland, polite mask. “You don’t have any doubts about taking on Robby and Riot?”
“No, of course not.” Where was he going with this?
He folded his arms in front of him, all too ready to judge her. Unfairly. “But you do have doubts about hitching your wagon to mine.”
“No, but I’m saying this has all happened awfully fast for you, Cullen. I’ve been on the foster-adopt list for the last two years. For you, even the idea of parenthood and sharing your life with anyone is all brand-new. When the novelty wears off and reality hits, and you have to decide whether to keep flipping ranches and expanding your horizons or staying here, waiting for the right land to open up, you may not be so happy.”
He looked at her, incredulous. “So it’s all on me.”
Defiantly, she held her ground. “Why are you twisting everything I say?”
He caught her by the shoulders. “Because I think my issues have nothing to do with your reluctance to marry me.” Hurt and resentment underscored his low tone.
Blinking back tears, she splayed her hands across his chest, holding him at bay. “Then what does?”
He stared at her as if she was a stranger. “Your notions of destiny. Of finding a romance so big it will never fade.”
She inhaled sharply, not about to mislead him. “I admit I want what three of my siblings have and my parents had,” she said stiffly. “What my twin and I still lack. A relationship that is so strong and so right it will last a lifetime.”
He gave her a slow, critical once-over. “And you don’t think we have that.”
I might if you’d ever once said you loved me, she thought miserably. Or could love me. Or were falling in love with me.
But you haven’t. So...
She wrested herself from his arms as hot, stinging tears raced down her face. “I know you desire me, Cullen.” She swallowed around the increasing ache in her throat. “I know we work well together and we can have fun together, and we even want the same thin
gs for Riot and Robby, but...is that enough?” Could it ever be?
Anger flared in his navy blue eyes. “Obviously not for you.” He spun away from her.
“Where are you going?” she cried, aware this could easily blow up into something neither of them wanted.
Grimacing, he tossed the words over his shoulder. “Out. To clear my head.”
Her pulse took on a rapid staccato beat as the loving home they’d built over the last two weeks quickly devolved into the last place she would ever want to be. A place that was attractive and orderly on the surface, but chaotic and numbing underneath. Swiftly, she closed the distance between them. “You’re leaving us?”
“No,” he said, in the same take-no-prisoners voice he had used on her that first day in the hospital corridor, when he thought she’d been playing a very bad joke on him. “I made a commitment to Robby and to Riot, to keep them in my heart and always take care of them,” he said softly but firmly. “I’m not reneging on that.”
Her heart broke. “Just me.”
For a long moment, she thought he was going to say something, but he didn’t. He merely drew an equalizing breath. “We’ll find a way to coparent. To have a friendly, cordial relationship. But given the way you feel about me and what we’ve had...” He paused and shook his head in silent remonstration, a look that went deeper than any hurt she had ever sustained. “It’s clear to me now that the two of us building upon anything more than that is just not going to be possible.” And on that note, he walked out, shutting the door behind him.
Shattering her heart in the process.
Chapter Sixteen
“I’ve been showing you houses all afternoon that would be fantastic for you and your family, and you haven’t liked any of them,” Jeanne Phipps complained, several days later.
Bess grinned. “I’m beginning to think she doesn’t really want to leave that ranch she is living on.”
Bridgett pushed Robby in his stroller around the landscaped backyard. Past the outdoor playset with the toddler-size slide, and the baby swing that would be just perfect in a few months.
The Texas Cowboy's Baby Rescue Page 17