by Jamie Begley
“You weren’t responsible for Brett, and you weren’t responsible for Lindy. No one she worked with knew they had met when he came to Treepoint and exchanged numbers. From what Knox said, they just fed each other’s obsession to get back at you.”
Holly gave a bitter laugh. “She thought me and Dustin were having an affair. She became even madder when I married Greer. Knox was able to get a warrant for their messages. He said one of Lindy’s texts was so violent he didn’t think women could think that way.”
“A jealous woman is a dangerous thing.”
“Yes, they are,” Holly agreed.
Lindy’s jealousy had affected her whole life, and Rachel’s.
She and Greer hadn’t even made love since she had come home from the hospital two months ago. Logan slept with her, afraid to go to sleep. Every member of their family was tense, walking around each other on eggshells, because they didn’t want to hurt Rachel if they mistakenly brought up her miscarriage, or Logan and her almost dying. Each person needed time to heal the wounds that Mitch and Lindy had dealt them.
“Logan doesn’t want to go out for Halloween this year. He says he’s too old to go. And he doesn’t color anymore. He threw his coloring pad away after I mistakenly turned the next page for him to draw on and realized he had already drawn on it. He had drawn a king’s crown on a dark sheet..”
“Because he’s afraid. He thought the pictures in his head were his imagination. When he almost died, he found out they aren’t. I was afraid of everything after I almost died. Tate said he was, too. When he’s ready, we’ll talk to him. He’s not ready yet.”
Holly sighed, finishing her wine. “All the Porters are strong. From what little I found out, you’re used to licking your wounds until they’re healed. For the rest of us, it isn’t as easy.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re pushing Cash away until you come to terms over losing the baby. Greer is pushing me away, because he thinks he didn’t protect me. I lived with you, and I didn’t know you and Greer were capable of healing like you can.” She waved away Rachel’s explanation as to why. “I understand why. I’m not blaming you. I just wish you would open up to me more. I didn’t even know you had been seriously injured when you were younger, and I still don’t know how your accident happened.”
“Tate, Greer, and I went to the lake to go swimming” Rachel began. “It was the first time Ma let us go by ourselves. Tate and Greer promised to keep an eye on me, so she let us go. Tate and Greer did watch me. They were very responsible. I was the one being silly. I kept wanting to climb on the rock, and they kept telling me no. They had taken their fishing poles, and when they were baiting their hooks, I sneaked away to climb the rock. I wanted to jump off just like I’d seen them do. I was diving into the water when I heard them yelling at me.
“That’s the last thing I remember, until I heard Greer’s voice in my head. The pain was unbelievable. I couldn’t believe I could feel that kind of pain and still be alive. I couldn’t breathe and knew I was dying.
“Holly, it was beautiful. I didn’t want to come back, but Greer wasn’t letting me go.”
“No, he wasn’t. How did Tate get hurt?”
Rachel wrapped her arms around her legs. “When Pa got drunk on moonshine, he got really drunk. He and Ma had some bad fights about how he would make us go to the barn and give us spankings …” Rachel stopped before starting again. “Pa usually let Ma discipline me, but the boys … He beat the hell out of them. He wanted the boys to be afraid of him. Said it would keep them out of trouble when they got older.
“One day, Ma left Tate and Greer with him. They were home sick with the flu. With Pa, the only one who was allowed to get sick was him. So, he was already mad, because the boys didn’t go to school that day, so to teach them a lesson, he had them deliver his moonshine to his customers. When Greer and Tate came home, one of his customers had called to tell him that he had been shorted.
“He was drunk on moonshine, and Tate thought he had a few joints, too. He beat them bloody that day and locked them in the barn, saying they could sleep out there that night. It was the dead of winter.
“When Greer woke up, Tate wasn’t moving. He said he was so cold he wanted to go to sleep, but the spirits surrounded him and gave him a vision.” Rachel raked her fingers through her hair. “They told him he couldn’t go to sleep and gifted him a sign to show he would make it out of the barn. When he tried to show Tate his sign, he couldn’t wake him.” Rachel gave a shuddering breath. “Greer said he told his spirits that, unless they healed Tate, there was no sense in showing him the sign, because he wasn’t leaving the barn without Tate.”
“He wasn’t letting Tate go without him.” Her husband had saved Tate the same way he had saved her—willing to sacrifice himself at the cost of his own soul. “Did your father let them out that night?” Holly wished she had brought the whole bottle of wine outside instead of just the glass.
“Pa didn’t let them out until morning and made them go to school.”
“Why didn’t your mother let them out?” Holly asked, feeling sickened.
“Pa had locked them in. Tate said Ma sat out there all night, trying to pry a board loose so she could get inside. When that didn’t work, she started digging, but the ground was frozen …” Rachel trailed off as she thought about how her mother fought so hard to reach her children and failed.
“Your father is lucky he’s dead! I know he was your father, Rachel, and I’m sorry, but he was terrible.”
“I know. Ma tried to leave him, but he brought her back, holding us kids over her. After that, it got better, though. He never beat them as badly after that. My ma wasn’t the same after that.
“All of us warned them not go out to the lake that day. Dustin had been having nightmares of drowning, and Tate had heard the death bells twice. I think she had enough of Pa and didn’t care that there were storm warnings out.”
“How am I supposed to look at that barn knowing what happened in there? How hurt and terrified they must have been?”
“I hate it, too. It was before I was born, but I have my own memories of Pa coming out of there, drunk, and having to go in there, waiting to take a whipping.”
“Dustin, too?”
“Yes, I had it easier, because I was a girl, but Dustin, Greer, and Tate took their beatings in there.”
“Really?” she snarled.
“Uh … yes. Are you okay?” Rachel asked worriedly.
“No, Rachel, I’m not.” Holly stood up, setting her glass down on the porch. She stormed toward the barn with Rachel only steps behind her.
Throwing the barn door open, she looked around for something she could use.
“What are you doing? Maybe we should go inside the house.”
“You go ahead,” Holly told her absentmindedly.
Seeing Greer’s toolbox, she opened the lid, taking a hammer out of it, then rushed back to the front of the barn.
“Holly, what are thinking about doing?”
She didn’t waste her breath, too infuriated to care if she made Rachel angry.
She tried prying one of the boards off with the hammer. The more she tried, the more furious she became. The stubborn thing didn’t want to budge, just like Greer.
Frustrated that she couldn’t remove the board she had tried to break off, she didn’t notice Rachel go inside the barn and come back. She was giving the obstinate board a hard whack when Rachel tapped her on the shoulder.
“Try this.” She held the axe out for her to take.
“Thanks.” Holly started to swing it then gave Rachel a warning, “Move.”
Rachel moved to her side so she wouldn’t be struck when she lifted the axe over her shoulder, bringing it down with all her strength.
Holly gave a victorious laugh when the axe sank in deep. “This works just fine.” Another swing, and she was able to tear the stubborn board from the barn wall. Choosing another board, she swung the axe again. “Take that, you son of a bitch!”
/> Rachel moved farther away. “Who are you cursing?”
“Your father!” Holly yelled, hitting the board again. “Your asshole … drunken … father!” The axe punctuated her anger as she tore another board from the wall.
“Oh.”
“Yes, fucking oh!” Holly screamed, taking all her fury out on the helpless anger she felt toward who she couldn’t have arrested for being a terrible father.
“You bastard!”
“Who you cursing now?”
“Whoever called your father to complain about his moonshine …” She gave a jab with the axe at that thought, thinking about Tate and Greer afraid to come home, knowing what had been waiting for them.
Holly was so intent on what she was doing that she didn’t notice Rachel going back inside the barn and grabbing another axe. It was when she heard another whack of an axe hitting wood that she looked up to see Rachel destroying her own board. Tears were running down her face. Holly glanced away a lump in her throat, seeing the inconsolable grief she was taking out the sturdy barn. She gave Rachel her privacy, working side by side in silence until Rachel turned toward her, the grief was still there but a flicker of her former flame was returning to her spirit.
“This feels good!” Rachel grinned over at her.
“Yes, it does,” Holly agreed, going back to work.
“You drunken coward!” Rachel vented her own anger. “I wish you were alive, too, so I could get Cash to beat the hell out of you with his brass knuckles.”
Holly looked over at her with interest. “Cash has brass knuckles?”
Rachel laughed. “Yes. And he looks hot when he wears them.”
Holly swung her axe again. “How hot? Like an eight or nine hot, or a ten hot?”
“A ten.” Rachel swung her axe.
“That’s hot. Greer is a ten when he kisses me, but he slips to a seven when he doesn’t put the toilet lid back down.”
“That used to piss me off when I lived here, too.”
Holly set the head of the axe down on the ground, leaning on the handle to take a rest, staring at Rachel dismally. “Greer hasn’t made love to me since before we were married. Do you think he doesn’t want me anymore because I have one breast bigger than the other now?”
Rachel dropped her axe, taking a rest to study her breasts. “How are they …?”
“When Lindy shot me. My left breast is smaller than my right one now.”
Rachel’s eyes narrowed on her left breast. “How much?”
Holly raised her pinky up, using her other finger to show that it was the tip.
Rachel shook her head. “Nah, I bet he won’t even notice.”
“I do,” Holly admitted.
“Then to hell with Greer. You’re a beautiful woman. If Greer is angry about a little bit of skin, then to hell with him.”
“Yeah! Then to hell with Greer.” Both women began chopping down the barn.
“Cash and I haven’t made love since I lost the baby!” Rachel yelled out.
“Why not?” Holly took the board that she had been working, throwing it onto the growing pile.
“I don’t know. At first, I wasn’t in the mood.”
Holly gave her an astounded look. “Girl, he gets me in the mood, and I’m in love with my husband.”
Rachel gave a giggle that sounded more like a sob. “He is handsome, isn’t he?”
“He’s a ten, for sure.”
“I think so, too. Do you think he blames me for losing our baby?” Rachel held her axe handle against her shoulder.
“No, I don’t think he blames anyone but Brett and Lindy,” Holly answered honestly.
“I blame myself.”
The two women stared at each other before Holly went to give her a hug. “You wouldn’t be the best mother in the whole world I know you are if you didn’t.”
Rachel laid her head on her shoulder. “You really think I’m the best mother in the whole world?”
“Yes, I do. I admire that you have breastfed as long as you have. When me and Greer have children, they’re getting a bottle.”
“You say that now, but wait until you have a baby.”
“Can you imagine how big these breasts would get if I breastfed?” Holly poked a finger into her chest.
“Some men find it sexually attractive.” Rachel blushed bright red.
“Really?”
Rachel nodded, her eyes staring meaningfully into hers.
“Fucking hell.” Holly went back to her side of the barn, giving a board a particularly hard whack. “If Greer ever gets his ass off the fence, maybe I’ll find out.”
32
Greer pushed the button on the dishwasher, still unsure how he had gotten stuck doing the dishes. So far, the benefits of his marriage were sucking dirt.
Holly and Rachel were still outside, and Logan was sitting in the living room. He grabbed himself a beer. Then, seeing the men sitting around the table, eyeing him, he brought enough over for them all.
“You all could have reminded me to get the dessert plates before I started the dishwasher,” he complained.
“I’ll do them.” Sutton started to gather the dessert dishes, but he waved her to sit back down.
“I’ll do them later. It’s not like I have anything better to do,” he groused.
His brothers and brother-in-law stared at him.
Cash moved the dessert plate away from Ema’s grasping hand. “Matrimony not what you expected?”
“I knew what type of woman I was getting when I married Holly. I just expected more of her.”
Greer ignored Sutton’s incensed glare.
“I bet you’re getting more than I am.” His brother-in-law showed his own unhappiness.
“I think I’m going to go outside to join the other women before I have to listen to any more of you men’s bellyaching.” Sutton went to the window, looking outside.
“It ain’t my belly that’s aching.” Greer snorted.
“Me, either,” Cash confirmed that the last two months hadn’t been easy for him, either.
Greer took a big drink of his beer, watching Sutton move to the other window that faced the barn.
“Why did you decide to break the barn down?” She turned to stare at him over her shoulder.
Greer spat his beer out, going to the window to see what the fool woman was talking about.
“Holly and Rachel, stop that!” Greer took off running out of the house to stop the destruction he had seen from the window.
He skidded to a stop just as Holly swung the axe backward, nearly getting his fucking nose cut off.
“Wo-woman!” Greer stuttered. “What are you doing?”
“We’re chopping down the barn!” his wife yelled back.
As soon as she buried the head of the axe into the board, he gripped the handle, trying to get it out of the barn.
“Ow!” Greer jumped back, his hand going to his other arm. “You bit me!”
“Yes, I did. And you know what?” She pulled the axe up again. “It felt almost as good as me ripping this barn to shreds.”
He watched Holly and Rachel continue with their chopping. “You’ve both lost your fucking minds!”
Greer stared wildly at his family as they came out to see what was going on.
“Have you asked them why they are doing it?”
Greer didn’t know what Tate thought was so damn funny.
“I don’t know why the fu—” Greer broke off when Holly pointed her axe at him. “You see that?”
“I see.” Tate looked at Sutton, who just raised her hands helplessly in the air.
Greer took Ema from Cash. “Go make your wife stop.”
Cash gave Rachel a wary look as he went to her, making sure he kept a safe distance away.
“Pussy,” Greer grumbled.
“Watch!” Holly swung her axe. “Your mouth!”
“Rachel, why are you and Holly tearing down the barn?”
Rachel didn’t stop hacking away at the barn. “Because
Pa almost killed Tate in there when he was little, and because he made Greer and Tate spend the night out there.” Rachel viciously twisted her axe out of a piece of wood.
Cash nodded at him, shrugging when he turned back. “That’s a pretty good reason.”
“No, it ain’t. That’s at least a fifty-thousand-dollar barn. Woman, you’re costing me money!” he shouted, pacing back and forth behind them when Ema started crying. “You want something to break apart? I’d rather you hit my truck.”
When the women turned to his truck, considering it, he paled.
“Not my new one. The old one.” He nodded toward the old truck that he had parked beside the barn and his pa’s old tractor. “At least that’s insured. The barn isn’t insured!” he shouted when the women started whacking at it again.
Trying to think of anything to calm them down, he said, “I know! Let’s go tear down his tombstone. That’ll really piss him off!” He lifted his eyes to the sky. “It’s not like I really mean it, God. I’ll talk them out of it before they get to the graveyard.”
“Your father isn’t the only reason we’re tearing the barn down!” Holly hid her axe behind her back, panting as she took a break.
“What’s the other reason?” he asked warily.
“Because you haven’t made love to me since before we were married!”
Dustin, Tate, and Cash stared at him in sympathy.
Blushing, Greer stuttered, “Uh … I was … trying to be sensitive.”
“Pft! You just don’t want me, because I’m lopsided now!”
Shocked speechless, Greer jiggled Ema on his hip.
“See? I told you!” Holly yelled, turning to whack the barn again.
“You may have been right,” Rachel sympathized.
“Rachel, we should take Ema and leave Greer and Holly to—”
“Why haven’t you made love to me?”
“Uh …”
Greer snickered as Cash turned red. He wasn’t handling being under the spotlight any better than he had.
“I was trying to give you time to grieve.”
“I would have grieved much easier with you in my bed.” Rachel swung her axe too hard and the handle broke. Dropping the handle, she didn’t let it stop her, using what was left to pry another board off.