“Where are they?” he shouts, frantically scanning the entire room yet again, causing me to wind the throw blanket in my hands nervously. He’s freaking me out even more after that dream with his shouting; I need quiet to calm my own nerves.
“Who?”
“Whoever was here. I heard you scream from my office.”
Well shit. He did hear me. He really is here to protect me.
“Put your gun away.”
“Huh?” His confused gaze meets mine, inhaling and exhaling slowly to compose his breathing.
“Please, you can put your gun away.” He trusts me, so a second later the safety’s flicked on and his weapon goes back into his holster. “It was only me in here. I’m sorry.”
“What do you mean, cara? Tell me what frightened you.”
“I had a nightmare. I must’ve screamed in my dream because it woke me up and apparently brought you in here, guns blazing and all. Did anyone else hear me?”
His face drops. “Oh, my love. Fuck, I’m sorry. The others left to run some errands.”
I hold my hands out to him wanting him near me. He complies, coming to me immediately, wrapping me securely in his warmth. He holds me for what seems like forever, but one thing I notice is how safe I feel in his arms. When I think about it, I always feel that way with him.
“The dream is all my fault.” He shakes his head, and I can see him beating himself up inside over it. “You never should’ve been there today, I was careless. I never should’ve have left you to sleep alone after what went down. I’m so damn sorry.”
He makes the nightmare seem like nothing with him here at my side, causing the bad thoughts to disappear with his strength. My skin cools down a few degrees and my chest loosens. I know he’ll always do whatever he thinks is best to protect me. He drives me crazy inside, but at the same time he makes me stronger, safer, and happier. I feel like I can face anything when he’s next to me. It’s all the reassurance I need to make up my mind.
“Okay,” I randomly mumble, thinking about the day and my dream—about life and choices that can be made or forgotten.
“Bella?”
“I said okay.”
“Okay what? You’re not making a lot of sense right now. I’m trying to keep up, but you lost me. Maybe you’re still tired.”
“I’m talking about our conversation earlier. I’ll do it. I’ll marry you.” I should’ve just given in when he suggested it, but I had to stand up to him. I can’t let him think that he can just walk all over me and command me to do as he wishes.
I’d always thought when I finally met a man and decided to marry him that it would be for love.
I glance at the glimmering diamonds around my wrist. Loyalty.
It’s not exactly love, but it’s the next best thing that I can think of when it comes to marriage. He believes that I can love him someday, but I know I can. I already do, yet I’m not ready to admit it to him. Funny, I’ll marry him, but not speak the words just yet. That’s not what really frightens me though. It’s the fact that he may never love me back. That’s the scariest part in this whole plan.
“Yeah? You’ll be my wife?”
I can’t believe I’m so easily agreeing with him. This is huge—the commitment, feelings, all of it—but it’s what my gut tells me. Life is scary. Thaddaeus has shown me that, and if there’s one person out there who can and will protect me, it’s him. I only hope that over time I can find a way to make him happy, to make him love me in return.
I nod, braced against his chest. It’s warm and comforting like there’s no other place I should be right now. Somehow, he’s so quickly and easily consumed my heart and my thoughts.
“Yes.”
“I was wrong, you’re not tired. This all makes perfect sense to me.” He kisses my forehead. “Non posso vivere senza te.” He gruffly whispers into my hair, while laying me backwards.
I have no idea what the Italian words mean, but they sound beautiful the way he says them. His tongue was meant for another language; it pours from his lips like a sweet caress.
He shifts my shirt up over my stomach, his strong hands running over my flesh, knowing their destination like a seasoned lover. His other palm moves under my leggings, rubbing me and pleasuring me with his fingers.
He knows what I need when I haven’t the slightest clue. He steals away the unpleasant images from the nightmare, transporting me into another world entirely. This one’s full of desire and fulfillment as he hurriedly rids me of my clothes.
There’s nothing sweet and slow about our joining; this time’s full of Thaddaeus’ claiming my body. I’ve given in, agreed to be his wife, and now he’s taking what rightfully belongs to him from this point on.
My bra’s shoved underneath my breasts, my thong pushed to the side in haste, and then he’s filling me—hard and quick. We’ve done the soft and gentle, the exploring, and it was all amazing. But sometimes, you need to just fuck. Rough and demanding and overwhelming, his body consumes what it craves.
Thrusting into me hastily with each drive, he overtakes my senses. His smell—so powerful and manly—reminds me of a thunderstorm. It’s clean with an undertone of violence, ready to strike at a moment’s notice. Words of love are on the tip of my tongue, ready to spill over, but I hold them back. This isn’t the right time, even if I did just agree to marry him, to be his for the rest of my life. I’ll save it for the right moment.
I’m under him, and then I’m busily pulling him to the side so I can be on top of him. Staring down into his eyes, they’re lit up like wildfire, as they watch my hips rock side to side. My body works to bring him pleasure, wanting nothing but to please him in any way that I can.
The feelings are too much, and they begin to overtake my movements and it’s not enough to take me where I need to be. Thaddaeus can feel it, me seeking my own sweet surrender to bliss. He stands, holding me to him, our bodies overheated as our primal instinct grows stronger.
With a few quick strides, my back’s up against the bedroom wall, the solid surface feeling as if it’s digging into my muscles. Thaddaeus’ forearms rest against the wall on either side of me, his muscles so hard I want to bite them. Passion crawls its way into my soul, igniting my body. He has me turning to putty with his movements.
He pounds into my body, as my hands clutch around his neck, holding on for dear life. He sweeps me away, my body soaring away as my orgasm hits me full force. His movements grow short as he comes in closer, bracing himself and chasing his own release.
He’s magnificent, his body strong enough to hold me while we each seek our pleasure in the other. Seconds feel like minutes as we clutch to each other forcefully enough to leave bruises behind—love marks or little reminders of what type of animal the other exposed as we collided in the most beautiful, satisfying way.
“Tell me what you said a few minutes ago.” I love his language, only I wish I knew what he was saying when he said it.
“Another time. Right now, I simply want to take you into the shower. Make love to you under the water and wash you. Then I want to take you back to my bed and worship you some more. Tomorrow we pick out your forever diamond and call the priest.”
“Tomorrow?”
“Yes, Grace, tomorrow.”
Will we marry tomorrow or just set everything up? My forever diamond. He remembered our conversation from our first dinner together.
I haven’t gotten to call my mother yet or Kaleigh.
“I can see you overthinking everything, Bella. Stop it and just feel me. Tomorrow you become Grace Morelli, amore.”
It’s an order spoken full of warmth. His lips meet mine, much tenderer than before, as he carries me into the bathroom and makes the world fade away.
Fingers grazing over the skin on my thigh pull me from my dreamless sleep. With Thaddaeus near, he holds the bad dreams at bay, letting me sleep blissfully.
A moan leaves my mouth as I stretch my arms above my head, officially waking up. His gaze is warm as my eyes meet h
is. He’s been watching me. For how long, he’ll never admit.
“Morning.” His grin’s infectious, spurring my own, even though I’ve only just woke up. How can I not be happy seeing his face first thing?
“Hi.”
“Sleep well?”
“Yes. What are you up to?”
His eyebrow quirks and he lets loose a delicious chuckle. “I have to have something up my sleeve, huh?”
“You look like you’re bursting to tell me something.”
He shrugs, covering something on the other side of his leg.
“Let me see.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.” I sit up, curiosity pulling me from my grogginess.
He twists toward me more, resting his left knee on the bed so he can face me completely. Reaching behind him, he brings a small white box forward. It’s about the size of his hand. He’s got my full attention as I watch him pull the lid free. He holds the box out for me to inspect its contents.
Nothing fancy about the container or the square of cotton lying inside. It’s the three rings, sitting there that have me gasping. They must be the biggest diamond rings I’ve ever seen in my life.
I know Thaddaeus is rich; he lives in a mansion outside Chicago for God’s sake, but this …It’s an entirely different level of wealth. Diamond rings like these go for triple digits, maybe even millions—I have no clue. I’m not a jeweler, but I do know they aren’t your run-of-the-mill engagement rings you see at the local mall.
“They’re stunning,” I breathe, meeting his gaze. It’s a bit humble, as if he’s worried I won’t like them.
“You’re sure? You like one enough to wear it, then?”
“You want me to wear one of these? I’d get robbed.”
He laughs. He freaking laughs! Like they aren’t each at least ten carats and then some and I shouldn’t be flattered knowing one will grace my finger.
“Trust me, robbed would be the least of your worries. These make a statement.”
“That I launder blood diamonds?”
His jaw grows tight. I obviously struck a nerve or something with that comment. Oh God, are they blood diamonds? Shit.
“No, Bella, that you’re married to me. Don’t fret over where they came from.”
Fuck. They are blood diamonds.
Do I ask about it? No. I’d much rather not know. Just like other parts of his business, they are not my business. I must learn to keep my nose out of his dealings. After all, I care for the man, not his job. I can ignore it. At least I hope I can to be with him.
So, he wants me to pick one. They’re all beyond amazing, but the two super flashy ones don’t speak to me. I go with the solitaire. It’s ostentatious, but I can’t help the excited flutters overtaking my stomach as I point to it. It’s the meaning behind the ring, not the dollar amount that makes my heart stutter.
He lifts it out, inspecting it before pushing it on my left ring finger. I swear to God it’ll get caught on everything I touch. I don’t want to seem ungrateful; the man’s offered me so much. Minus his heart.
“It’s beautiful, thank you.”
“It’s nothing compared to you.”
The compliment earns him a kiss. It’s chaste, but I have to reward his sweetness some way.
“I need to brush my teeth.”
“No, you’ll give me a proper kiss, and then you may shower and brush them. The priest will be here shortly.”
“Already? But I need to call my mother.”
“No time, amore. Dress in the gown you wore to dinner. We’ll have a big wedding if you wish; right now is for us. You can hire an event planner and organize it all, anything you want.”
“You would do that for me?”
“Of course. I want you happy.”
“I am happy with you,” I honestly reply and his mouth meets mine. This time, it’s a full-blown kiss. I welcome it, reassuring myself that he can mouthwash afterward.
The shower and getting ready went by way too quickly for my liking. I wanted to call my mother, but I couldn’t bring myself to doing it. I know it would hurt her too badly not being here to witness her only daughter exchanging her vows. I’ve decided that I’ll ask Thaddaeus to transfer my ticket to my mother so she can visit and help me plan a real wedding six months down the road.
I did break down and call Kaleigh. She’s in total shock; so much so that she dropped her cell phone when the words left my mouth that I was about to marry one of Chicago’s most notorious gangsters. I couldn’t explain much, but she’s coming. She’s terrified, but swears I’m the only person who’d be able to pull off marrying a man like him.
She’s scared for my safety, and I understand her concern. When she began to lecture me, well, more like plead with me, I threatened to hang up. I love her and I respect her, but this is my life. I’m doing what has to be done for not only my safety but for Thaddaeus’ and his crew. We need to appear united, a strong force, so that’s what we’re doing.
And then there’s the fact I’m also going through with it because inside I know that I love this crazy, overbearing, dominant man. I can only hope one day he loves me in the same fashion.
A brief knock at the bedroom door, pulls me from finishing up applying my mascara.
“Um, Grace?” It’s Dillion. His head pops in a crack, flashing me his easy smile. Once he sees me, he opens the door wider. “Hey, wanted to make sure you were decent.”
“Not sure how decent I am, but I’m dressed.” I wink and his bright white smile grows.
“Your friend’s arrived … Kaleigh?” He lets her pass, watching her like he’s completely famished as she walks in front of him. I’d not pegged her as his type, but then again most wouldn’t see me with my fiancé either. He’d have to sedate her to get her to go out with him though. That thought has me snorting to myself.
“Oh, Grace!” She rushes for me, arms open, ready to hug me like it’s been years or something. I saw her last week, but she’s my best friend, so I smile and return her hug with enthusiasm.
Dillion watches the exchange, a goofy grin on his face the entire time.
“Hey, chick,” I say and she releases me.
“Thanks Dillion.” He meets my gaze again, his face blanking out as a mask appears.
“No problem. You look great; he’ll be pleased.” His compliment has my cheeks heating. I love knowing that Thaddaeus will approve, and I know he’ll look phenomenal in whatever he chooses as well.
The door closes behind him and Kaleigh turns to me, eyes wide. She’s a dork, always dramatic when it comes to them. She whispers, “That man is gorgeous!”
“Who, Dillion?” I reply in my normal voice and she scowls.
“Yes!” she whispers, glancing at the door as if he can hear us. These walls are thick. It’s amazing Thaddaeus heard me yell when I had that nightmare. She mock fans herself and I giggle.
“He’s cool.” I shrug, and put my makeup back into the little bag covered in fuchsia-colored kisses.
Thaddaeus had a fancy makeup holder delivered for me, but I’ve held myself back from using it just yet. I figure we should be married before I unleash my bathroom crazy on him. The poor guy may never have counter space again and the master bath is huge in comparison to normal bathrooms.
“How can you stand being around them all, and this close? Aren’t you scared? I can’t believe you’re marrying one and not just any of them, but the main dude!” She rambles and the bedroom door opens again.
Dillion’s eyes fall to Kaleigh and he clears his throat. “Ah, Grace, they’re ready for you.” He never looks at me once, his gaze trained on my best friend. She’s just as guilty, staring him down with her mouth slightly parted. She looks like she wants to plow him, and he looks like he’s ready to rip her damn dress off.
“Okay, if you two screw, it better not get awkward.” I come out and say it because at this rate they’ll be shredding each other’s clothes to pieces in a closet within the hour.
Kaleigh’s fac
e turns a bright shade of scarlet and Dillion clears his throat again, adjusting the knot on his tie as if it’s suddenly too tight. “Shall we?” he asks and I nod. I slip my feet into the same shoes Thaddaeus sent to me when he was courting me; they’re still my favorites.
“I love your something blue.” Kaleigh smiles, staring at the earrings Thaddaeus had sent on day number four. The blue glass beads with hearts are also my favorites and perfect for today.
The only other piece of jewelry I have on is the diamond bracelet. I want to be covered in him when he sees me for the first time. Sure, he’s seen this dress before, but today’s different. It was special the first time, but this time’s forever.
The rage you feel…listento me carefully. It’s a gift. Use it, but don’t let anyone see it.
- Nucky Thompson, Boardwalk Empire
He’s handsome, dressed to the nines in a dark charcoal suit that I’ve not yet seen him wear. In a few hours’ time, he’s had the large sun-room transformed into a spot fit for a ceremony. Large bouquets of bright violet and deep blue lilies are placed on large plant stands around the room that look like mini columns. Matching colors of hydrangea blooms sit centered on a few small round tables covered in heavy white linen with a dark blue lace overlay.
There’s long, white lace curtains tied back away from the twelve feet tall windows, letting the natural sunlight flood the entire room. He knows I love the garden here, but it’s cold outside. He did this on purpose—for me—and that makes everything mean so much more.
The three chandeliers leading through the middle of the room are lit up. The hundreds of crystal pieces in each one cast different colored reflections everywhere. Small fuchsia-colored blooms line a path straight to the man himself. I’m stunned at the thought he’s clearly put into everything. It’s like he’d already had this all thought out and simply had to flick his fingers to make it all happen.
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