Forbidden: A bully romance (An Academy Twin Rivalry Series Book 2)

by Taylor Blaine

  I swiped my phone open and texted Jaxon.

  Me: I think you should consider coming back early.

  I lowered the phone to my side, gripped tight in my hand. That night would be the perfect opportunity to lose my virginity to Jaxon. I needed something to focus on besides the things I’d seen.

  Something new, something fresh, something that would mark this night as something other than traumatic. I could end the evening with something worth remembering.

  That’s all I needed.

  That wasn’t too much to ask for, was it?

  Chapter 20

  Olivia

  I hadn’t gotten any messages from Jaxon in a while but I refused to let that bother me. He’d said he had some things to do earlier that night and he’d try to get back to me. My insecurities from Staci’s house had followed me and I didn’t need to project them onto him.

  I curled onto my side in my bed, pressing the side of the screen of my ereader and turning the page. I wasn’t even sure what I was reading, but it was enough to keep me awake. I think it was the book at least. I found myself staring at the words but not really seeing anything else.

  My phone buzzed and I pulled the cell from where I’d let it rest on my hip as I lay on my side.

  J: I’m heading over, is that still okay?

  I sat upright with a jerk, my dark hair tumbling around my shoulders and halfway across my eyes. I reached up, pushing the mass out of my face and scanning the room. He was coming there? I thought maybe we’d try to meet somewhere else.

  Actually, in all honesty, I wasn’t sure what I expected. A pile of clothes sat in the corner and my school bag had fallen to the side, letting books tumble to the ground.

  Me: Yep, I’m here.

  I didn’t add that I was nervous or even ask him what he expected to happen. I’d pretty much told him already what I wanted from him. If nothing else, we could at least make out. I needed to be touched, kissed, and I needed him to distract me.

  But as I climbed from the bed and dug through my underwear drawer for a pair of white lacy underwear and bra that I’d bought in just such an instance, I knew what I wanted. I didn’t want to just make out. I wanted Jaxon. More than I’d ever wanted Braddox.

  I trusted Jaxon. That was saying a lot and probably why I didn’t want Braddox like I used to think I did.

  I cared about Braddox. I could finally accept that I did have feelings for him, but he’d betrayed me and he’d never get anything else from me again. I had to have cared about him. That’s why it hurt so bad to learn what he’d done to me. I could accept that.

  The way I felt for Jaxon, though, was complete and honest trust. There was something between us I couldn’t define. I didn’t need an explanation. I needed the connection and I needed to feel like he wanted me.

  There was nothing wrong with being wanted.

  I shoved my clothes into the closet and then picked up my bookbag and items.

  Running into the bathroom, I changed into my underwear set and then pulled on shorts and a tight tee. Tousling my hair, I scanned my makeup or lack of it. I wasn’t wearing a lot but I didn’t mind that. Jaxon didn’t seem to mind the fact that I didn’t wear enough makeup to pass as a clown like some of the girls in school. Cough. Staci. Cough.

  I went back into my room and sat on the edge of the bed, holding a pose for thirty seconds. Shaking my head at my dumbness, I moved to sit in a chair. That seemed even stupider. I moved to the window and then realized I had no idea what I was doing.

  I sank onto the bed and drew my feet up to hang off the edge as I wrapped my arms around my legs.

  What was I doing? I was hopefully getting ready to sleep with Jaxon. Why? Because he made me feel things I couldn’t ignore and he seemed to like me for me and not sex or the way I dressed.

  He wasn’t going to expect me to be in a certain pose or anything. He’d probably laugh at the butterflies in my stomach.

  I took up pacing from the window to the bed and back, wringing my hands.

  The lights weren’t on. Just the lamp by my bed and it gave a more intimate ambience to the room that I was more than happy to keep as it was.

  A knock on the door carried softly through my room and I froze, staring at the panel like I could see through it.

  Or worse – he could.

  Swallowing, I moved across the floor. I might have stumbled, but I’d never confess it to another soul.

  I took a deep breath with my hand on the doorknob and then I twisted, pulling the door open.

  Jaxon stood there, his hair hidden under a beanie cap and a pair of jeans with a black t-shirt on. A little white logo on his shirt reminded me of the other day when I saw him at school in the same shirt.

  I grinned and pulled the door open, motioning for him to come in.

  His gaze roved over me as he walked in and I was glad I’d changed into the clothes I had when he smiled appreciatively.

  Closing the door, I braced my hands on the solid panel when Jaxon’s fingers were suddenly in my hair, pushing the tresses to the side to fall over my shoulder as he came at me from behind.

  His gentle touch trailed from the soft skin above my collar over the thin t-shirt material and then my bra strap where he unhooked the bra with a flick of his fingers. He didn’t speak as he slid the straps from my shoulders, under the t-shirt I wore, and off my arms, helping me pull it off through the sleeve hole.

  He tossed my lacy bra to the floor, the sound of it hitting loud as I continued staring at the door in front of my face. He kept a hand on my back as he reached around and caressed my breasts through the t-shirt, first the lower lines of the globes and then more fully, tugging on my nipples with gentle fingers.

  Yep, I moaned. That’s why I was so hot for him. He surprised me with a gentleness I hadn’t been expecting. His fingers and the way he pressed his suddenly bare chest against my back.

  He turned me around, gripping my ass in his hands as he crushed my lips with his. Our tongues danced and fought as if there wasn’t enough time for anything we wanted to do.

  I grabbed his broad shoulders and held on as he lifted me from the ground, wrapping my legs around his waist and carried me to the bed. Laying me out on the duvet, he reached over and turned off the lamp, leaving us in darkness.

  I stared up at him, the moonlight spilling into the room and casting a silverfish hue on anything it touched. He continued stroking my chest and if I were a cat, I swear I’d purr.

  “Do you have protection?” I didn’t think to have any myself. I wouldn’t even know what to get, if I did have some. I blushed at the question, but I asked it anyway.

  He nodded, leaning down to nuzzle my neck as he worked the belt and zipper on his pants. His jeans hit the floor and he kicked them the rest of the way off.

  I have no idea when he’d ditched the shirt, but I’d rather he was naked first anyway. I couldn’t see him much, but what I could see was sculpted abs and tightly hewn muscles across his arms and back when he turned.

  He left my shirt on, pulling my shorts and panties off in one swoop, down my legs and feet and coming to land somewhere near his I’d imagine.

  He climbed above me, his face in shadows. I reached up, touching his cheek with my fingertips as I let the desire for him overtake my worry that I was doing something I shouldn’t be.

  “Are you ready?” His husky words left me shaking. He leaned down and kissed me again, banishing any denials I might have had.

  I arched against him, ready for the heat inside me to get some relief or burn out of control – something, anything, to make sure the molten center got a release.

  He pulled back briefly, working on himself and judging by the snapping sound of silicone, pulling on a rubber. He caressed between my legs, getting closer and closer to where I just wanted to ram him in.

  And then suddenly there was pressure and I was being stroked from the inside out. It didn’t hurt so much as it actually felt like the itch I’d been working to eradicate for him was actuall
y dealt with. I moaned, moving with him, matching him stroke for stroke until we both seemed to reach something we’d been looking for.

  In minutes it was over. Breathing hard, I clutched at his back, a soft sheen of perspiration on his skin making him a little slick.

  He leaned close to me again, murmuring against my ear, “Are you okay?”

  I nodded, still breathless combined with sudden shyness. I was fine, but how was I supposed to act now? Not just around Jaxon, but around Braddox? He would know and he would make me pay for it.

  “I’m good. Are… I mean, did you… Are you okay?” I softly cleared my throat, more embarrassed than I’d ever been. I wanted to know if it sucked being with me. It was kind of fast and I’d heard that longer was better. I knew I’d hit something I needed because I’d all but exploded, but had he? Maybe it wasn’t as good for him as it had been for me.

  He softly chuckled, kissing my forehead and then pulling away from. “Next time, it won’t be so fast. I’ve wanted you for so long, I think I got a little too excited and couldn’t contain myself. Did you at least cum?” He studied me, his face still in the dark.

  I nodded, but then figured I was in the shadows, too. “Yeah, I think I did.” Such a small word for such a huge sensation. He’d wanted me for so long?

  My knees were shaky as he pulled back and removed the condom. He picked up his jeans and disappeared into my bathroom.

  The sound of water running jerked me completely back to reality.

  I had to pee, but I needed him out of the bathroom. How was I supposed to act around him? I’d just had sex for the first time and I had no idea how I was supposed to be. Truly awkward, I stood, crossing my arm across my breasts and moving to stand by the door to wait until he came out. I wasn’t peeing in front of him. I don’t care what we had just done.

  He strode out, grabbing his shirt and looking back to the bed. I ducked into the bathroom before he could spot me and I shut the door.

  Why did I feel so awkward? I used the toilet and then washed my hands. Retrieving the robe hanging on the hook behind the door, I pulled it on, feeling a little braver with clothes on. I pulled the door open and walked back into my room, but it was empty.

  He’d disappeared.

  I blinked at the still dark room. Unless of course he was on the bed or something waiting to cuddle? I turned back to the bed, but it was empty, in the same condition I’d just left it.

  I scanned the floor and all of his clothes were gone.

  What had just happened? I blinked again, certain I was having some weird hallucination or dream. Maybe I’d fallen asleep while waiting for him or maybe he’d never actually texted me.

  I walked across the floor in somewhat of a daze, staring at the bed where I’d just lost my virginity to an apparent ghost. Halfway there, my toe connected with something and I kicked it across the floor. Wrinkling my nose at the bluntly muted pain, I bent down to pick it up. His phone. He’d left his phone there.

  He would have to come back for it. Jaxon had to know sooner rather than later that he’d lost his phone and that most likely he’d left it in my room.

  I started to get a little angry. What was he doing just disappearing like he had? What the hell was this? Some kind of booty call?

  Maybe he’d turned out to be exactly like his brother – only after one thing. Now that he had it, he literally was out of there like a shot.

  For Braddox, everything was about sex – if not with me, then someone. For Jaxon, I had thought it would be different. Things with him would be different.

  While I hadn’t slept with Braddox, he’d always held me for a while after we’d made out. He’d always stuck around.

  Jaxon couldn’t even be bothered to say goodbye.

  I pressed the side button of his phone, leaning my head to the side as I crawled into bed. Maybe I’d made a mistake sleeping with him. We weren’t even officially together. We hadn’t been together that long either – or known each other.

  I stared at the screen as I settled onto my bed. The smell of sex clung to my duvet.

  Shit.

  A picture of Braddox’s black Nova stared back at me on the wallpaper. I couldn’t breathe.

  Shit.

  Had I let Braddox into my room and slept with him, thinking he was Jaxon? Had I just given my virginity to the twin I wanted nothing to do with?

  I dragged in air, mindful of every painful movement.

  That’s why he’d come at me from behind. That’s why he’d turned off the lights. That’s why he’d shot out of there like he was on fire.

  I thought I’d been screwing Jaxon and instead, Braddox had raped me. Wasn’t that what that was? I wouldn’t have screwed him, if I’d known it was him. Wasn’t that the same thing as taking away my ability to consent?

  For a long moment I just stared at the red numbers on the display of my digital clock. Then, as if I had mere split seconds to act, I threw back my blankets and rushed to the bathroom, kneeling beside the toilet as I puked up the small amount of food I’d eaten earlier.

  I couldn’t stop. Even when my stomach was beyond empty, my body tried expunging the memory from my mind. If I could forget what had happened, then that meant it hadn’t actually happened, right?

  Because… I’d slept with Braddox. I’d consented. I couldn’t prove to anyone that I hadn’t. He’d come into my room. He’d taken my clothes off. I’d willingly let him in and I hadn’t once said no. He’d even asked me! The snake.

  I sobbed, tears rolling down my cheeks and onto my bare thighs. I didn’t want to sleep with Braddox.

  I wanted Jaxon. I should have known. Why hadn’t I known?

  My first time was supposed to be with Jaxon. I was supposed to be sharing that with him. That’s what I wanted.

  A small part of me shook my head. Braddox had made me burn. He’d been gentle and I’d climaxed. What more did I want?

  Good thing that part of me was little, because I wasn’t the type to accept anyone taking advantage of me.

  That’s exactly what he did. Somehow, he’d known I was waiting for Jaxon. He’d snuck in my room and made the situation fit him, so he could hide in the shadows. He’d done the one thing I told him he couldn’t do.

  It didn’t matter that he had done it well.

  None of that was important.

  What mattered was the fact that I’d been deceived.

  How in the hell was I supposed to tell Jaxon about what had happened? He’d never believe me. He’d feel betrayed and he should. I knew I did.

  Braddox had stolen something from me that I could never get back. He’d stolen from Jaxon. How did I reconcile that? How did I turn back to Jaxon and tell him what had happened?

  How did I not?

  I couldn’t breathe and this time the tears came to choke me, to drag me under with the overwhelming depression of my situation.

  I’d been filled with hope, excitement, and nerves not an hour ago. And now I felt like my entire world was crushing in on me. Braddox had taken everything.

  All because he couldn’t take no for an answer. Or maybe because he couldn’t let Jaxon win.

  No matter which of them won, I lost. There was nothing fair about that. I clenched Braddox’s phone in my hand, gripping it tighter and tighter.

  Then I screamed, sitting upright and throwing his cell at the wall as hard as I could.

  The satisfaction at the sound of shattering didn’t overtake the depression. Instead, I sank back to my pillow, staring into the dark.

  What had I done?

  Chapter 21

  Olivia

  Was it overkill to claim I’d been raped? It had to be something. I’d thought I was being touched by Jaxon, not Braddox.

  I couldn’t close my eyes. When I did, images of what Braddox had done to me and how I’d cum, hit me like a bullet between the eyes.

  How did I tell Jaxon I’d slept with Braddox? Truth was, I hadn’t meant to. I hadn’t wanted to.

  Truth was… he wouldn’t unders
tand how I had thought one was the other. Was it really that hard to grasp, though? It had been dark. I’d gotten a text from Jaxon – or I’d thought it was Jaxon.

  All of it. Braddox had kept me facing away from him unless it was in the dark. He’d done it on purpose.

  And I’d welcomed it.

  I wanted to cry. In fact… No, I wanted to throw up.

  I sat up again, rushing from my bed into the bathroom between mine and Stephanie’s room.

  Curling my arms around the seat, I threw up… nothing. My stomach was empty and I had nothing in me to vomit. The extra pain from dry heaving added to my already tormented mind and I couldn’t stop the sobs from ripping out of me.

  I slumped from my spot of hovering over the toilet, letting my back hit the wall behind me. My sobs turned into wails and tears left me like I was in the middle of some kind of exorcism.

  Everything was too much – between breaking into Staci’s house, being chased by men who had killed already, my friend being seen by the same horrible men, being essentially raped by Braddox, and now having to somehow tell Jaxon that my first time wasn’t going to be with him because it had been with his brother. I was overwhelmed.

  Pulling my head forward, I slammed it against the wall behind me. I couldn’t breathe. I needed to black out. I needed to make myself black out.

  I slammed it again, the crash loud and comforting. I had control over something. I could do this one thing. I could knock myself out and I could escape the pressures around me.

  Another slam and I saw spots before my eyes. Another slam and I gasped at the pain and the flash of red. But I wasn’t crying anymore.

  Until… I glanced down as I was getting ready to hit my head again and I saw my missing underwear and the almost see-through white-shirt I’d worn.

  Pulling my robe tighter around me and covering my shameful nakedness, I closed my eyes, hoping that act would stop the pain.

  Nothing was working.

  Suddenly, arms were on my back and Stephanie’s soothing voice broke through my gasps. “Olivia, honey, Liv. Hey, you’re okay. What happened?” She caressed my back until I sat up and found her studying me, concern in the creases of her forehead.