by JJ Ross
“Don’t go turning that into a poster for your bedroom, Sonny. I couldn’t live with myself knowing I replaced the posters of your boy bands,” he teased referencing my adolescent crushes.
“Those posters are long gone, Drew!” I laughed, turning to snap a picture of the field
“Well, then, don’t go replacing all your pictures of Chance with mine. I know how much of a crush you have on me.”
I spun around with my eyes wide as saucers. Did he know about my crush? He was looking out at the field, all nonchalant. Mini heart attack averted. Thankfully, he was just teasing me. Right? I watched his face to try to figure it out.
“You okay,” he asked, turning his gaze to me. Great, now he was rendering me speechless and making me look pathetic. I cleared my throat and changed the subject.
“Let’s get these shots before it gets too late and I lose this beautiful sunset,” I said waving my hand toward the orange and purple sky.
“You got it boss. Just show me what to do.”
I asked Drew to pose various ways and showed him what I wanted. He teased me, constantly, but in a playful way. In a flirtatious way. It gave me butterflies. I’m pretty sure this is what they call ‘playing with fire.’ This was my boyfriend’s brother. This was a no flirting zone. I chose my words wisely but I couldn’t help but wonder if that perfect mouth gave the perfect kisses, too.
Just as I was looking at the last shot and the last of the red and oranges faded from the sky, I got a text from Chance.
We’re ready. Everyone is here. See you in a bit.
I tucked my phone into the back pocket of my jeans and almost frowned. My time with Drew was coming to a close. Drew eyed me curiously.
“Is everything okay?”
“Chance wants me to stop by Chris’ house for a minute. You don’t mind, do you? It won’t be long. I’m the only one with a curfew so I can’t stay out anyway.”
“Aren’t they having a guy’s night or something? No girlfriends allowed”
“I guess it started out like that, until Ashley stopped by. Chance misses me.”
“Or so he claims,” Drew mumbled under his breath.
“What does that mean?”
“Nothing. Hey, is your friend, Maggie going to be there?” he asked, changing the subject. A stab at my heart. Was he interested in Maggie?
“Maybe. Why? You interested?” I wiggled my eyebrows.
“Not particularly. Just curious.” He left it at that as he opened the car door for me. I dropped into my seat confused, but not even sure what I wanted to ask, so I drove quietly.
As we rounded the corner of the street, Drew saw the house and all the cars.
“So, there’s a party going on?” his tone almost sounded aggravated.
“Drew, it’s…”
“Sonny, I’m not in a party mood. I’ll wait in the car.”
“But, Drew, maybe you can just stop in….and…”
“Seriously, Sonny. I came home for a quiet weekend. I get enough parties at the frat house.”
I slumped defeated as I parked the car across the street in the only spot left. I turned to Drew.
“I have a confession,” I started, “Chance threw a surprise party to kind of welcome you home. You’ve been gone for a long time this time, and everyone missed you. That house is full of people that are waiting to see you, not just Chance and them. A lot of your friends from high school are in there. Please don’t ruin this. My only job was to entertain you while they got everyone there, and then I was to deliver you,” I looked hopeful. He shook his head, smiling. That was a good sign.
“And here I thought that you wanted to get me alone and snap pictures for your weird Drew inspired scrapbook. Oh well, wishful thinking,” and then he winked, “let’s get this over with, you little conspirator, you.”
I breath of relief whooshed out as he jogged around to open my door. He held his hand out to me. I hesitated, but then let him pull me out of the car. He tucked my hand into his as we walked to the front door. Was I the only one focused on the electricity flowing from our two hands touching? Probably.
Drew seemed very unaware. That, or he was a really good actor. I looked up to him and looked for anything in his face. Something.
There was nothing out of the ordinary. The usual twinkle in his eyes and fun loving smile on his lips. Sigh. His lips. I snapped back to reality when we got to the door and I could hear the music on the other side.
“Sonny,” he looked down to me, “I had fun today. Thank you. I know it was all part of a little plot or whatever, but for what it’s worth, I really did have fun spending time with you.” Tension. It was all around us.
“Me too. I …” I stopped as the front door swung open. Chance looked at us. I froze as he looked down at us holding hands. I quickly pulled my hand away and wrapped my arms around him.
“I missed you,” he whispered into my hair.
“Chance, what’s all this about?” Drew asked, looking into the house behind him.
“Welcome home party?” he shrugged playfully and smiled.
“Well, then, let’s get started!” he said, pushing past us and into the house. Chance looked after him and then to me.
“You cracked. You told him, didn’t you?” he wasn’t mad.
“He didn’t want to come to a party, so I told him it was for him,” I admitted.
“Oh Sonny, what am I gonna do with you?”
“You could sweep me into an empty bedroom and have your way with me,” I suggested. I needed to refocus. I needed that reminder from Chance, that he was my guy.
“Don’t tease me.”
“I’m not.” That’s all he needed to pull me into the house and past the party and straight up the stairs. He pulled me into Chris’ parents bedroom at the end of the hall and locked the door.
This was it.
**********
I was sitting on the bed waiting for Chance to make a move. The guy was supposed to make the first move, right? After all, we were both virgins. I had no idea what I was doing. Chance had more experience than I did. I needed him to take the lead on this.
He came over to me and sat on the edge of the king size bed. I scooted over to the middle to make room for him to sit down. He kicked off his shoes and slid under the blanket by me. Then he moved closer and pulled me to him. I felt my body tense up as I anticipated his next move.
“Hi,” he whispered playfully.
“Hi.”
“Look, thank you for earlier today. You know, with Drew and everything,” He leaned in closer to me.
Please stop mentioning his name right now, I pleaded silently.
“You’re welcome,” I swallowed hard.
“Are you okay? Is this okay?” he softly kissed my forehead, looking for approval.
“I’m just nervous.”
“Me too. But I want us to be together.”
“Me too. I just, what if someone comes in?”
“I locked the door,” he assured me and I relaxed a little as I bit my lip nervously.
“Sonny, I love you. I always have.”
I pushed him away slightly to read his face, “It shouldn’t be this big a deal, right? It’s just sex and all that, right?” I giggled nervously trying to minimize the moment. In reality though, losing your virginity is a big deal. It’s a moment that technically, you should share with someone that means everything to you, because you give them all of you. I was being a real girl about this. I was making this bigger than it needed be. No. I was trying to distract myself. I was trying to talk myself out of it. Why?
“Right. Just sex. With me…and you,” he laughed lightly.
I nodded slightly. I wanted Chance. But, something inside of me told me to wait. Something was nagging me and I couldn’t figure out why I was so hesitant. Maybe I wanted everything to be perfect. Every girl wants a perfect first time. Perfect was not on his best friend’s parents bed.
With a dip in the mattress and him getting even closer to me, thoughts of anything perfect drift
ed away as my body betrayed me. With him this close to me, I was putty in his hands.
He leaned in and slowly began to kiss me as he held my face, gently. As we began to kiss more fervently he pulled his shirt off and then mine, running his hands over my body. He hastily pushed my curls from my face as he kissed down my neck.
“Chance, wait,” I whispered as I gently pushed him a few inches from me.
“What’s wrong,” he asked as he studied my face with concern.
“I just…I don’t know if I am ready for this. Maybe we should slow down. All these people here…”
“It’s okay, Sonny…it’s me, remember? We’re best friends. If you want to stop, we can stop. Just know that there is no one in this world that I want my first time to be with more than you. You and I are great together,” he whispered as he kissed my cheek softly.
“I feel the same way…” I started.
He sat back slightly, “Sonny, if you don’t want to do this that’s fine. I saw you tonight standing at the door with Drew and all I could think is how hot you are. I just can’t stop thinking about how you smell…and how you taste…and I can’t stand the thought of another guy with his hands on you…it gets me really riled up…” he trailed off as he kissed my neck. He was referring to Drew holding my hand. His own brother. It didn’t even mean anything, right?
Friends…hold…hands, right?
“Chance, I really care about you. I really…really…do, let’s just go slow,” I interrupted.
He stopped me with a kiss and leaned into me again. He carefully slid my shorts off as he kissed me softly. I was fumbling with the buttons on his jeans, so he reached his hand down to help me.
“Sonny, you make me crazy,” he whispered as he kissed my ear. I moved my hand back to his neck as he kicked off his jeans.
We continued to kiss and caress each other. Then as he softly stroked the side of my thigh, he slid off my panties and softly let them drop to the floor. He had his hand on the inside of my thigh but stopped before going any higher.
“I want you Sonny. I want to be with you, but I need to know you want this too. Don’t hesitate. Say yes or no. Please…” he groaned into my ear.
“I want you, Chance,” I whispered back as I kissed his lips, reassuring him, a shiver running down my body. With that, he pulled back and leaned over the side of the bed. I heard him fumble for a moment and then sit back up to face me.
“Shit!” he whispered loudly.
“What is it? What’s wrong?”
“I left my wallet on my dresser and I don’t have anything with me,” he explained.
“What do you mean?”
“Sonny, I don’t have any condoms,” he snapped.
“Oh…well…..I,” I started and stopped, “what if and then we can…we can just….”
“It’s fine Sonny. We can wait. I didn’t ask you to come over for sex anyways,” he said as he sat up and began to pull his pants on. He may have insisted that he wasn’t worried about not having sex, but he was mad; I could tell.
He tossed me the few items of clothing that were mine and pulled his shirt on. I quickly slid into my clothes and hopped off the bed. I felt ashamed. I shouldn’t have, but I did. I felt as if I had done something wrong.
“I’m sorry, Chance,” I said softly as I lightly touched his arm.
“It’s okay. I’m not mad at you babe. I just feel like I am letting you down. This is probably a sign that we shouldn’t be doing this kind of stuff anyhow. Not yet, and especially not here, with everyone right outside that door, like you said.” He reached over and gently kissed my forehead.
“Let’s just go downstairs and enjoy the party, okay?” He held his hand out to me.
“Okay,” I smiled reassuringly. I kept a straight face as he held his hand out to me to pull me off the bed. I was confused. I wanted to have sex with him, but I didn’t. I wanted him to keep looking at me like I was the only girl in the world, but if we didn’t have sex, would that look change? Was sex that important to him? It sure seemed that way, with the face he made.
Chapter 5
Another Friday night, and again I was at home, surrounded by books. The wood grain on my desk seemed to fade in and out as I struggled to stay awake. I wondered how the game was going. Tonight was an away game, so I had decided not to go and stay home to work on some homework.
I assured Chance I would see him tomorrow.
I sighed as I turned back to the books surrounding me. My eyes grew heavier by the second. Thoughts of Drew and Chance had been dominating my time. My eyes fluttered closed as questions continued to run through my head.
Suddenly, I felt as if I were floating. I jerked from my sleep to feel arms around me, holding me close. My eyes fluttered open, and I saw Chance’s gorgeous features illuminated by the glow of my computer screen. He was carrying me to bed.
“Hey you,” he whispered down to me as he sat me down on my bed, “I guess you fell asleep studying,” he smiled.
I yawned, “How was the game,” I asked casually, ignoring the fact that we had been awkward since Drew’s welcome home party, but frankly, too tired to care.
“We won,” he smiled.
“Hmmm…..” I smiled sleepily as I felt my eyes grow heavy again.
“Sonny, I know it’s late, but I have a lot I need to say and there is a lot I want you to try to see from my side…”
I sat up sleepily, willing the exhaustion away, “Look Chance. I don’t know why you are so…”
“That night at the party,” he started.
“You were mad. About sex,” I finished.
“No, I was mad, yeah. No. Maybe more disappointed. Like, I really want to have sex with you, but it’s not just about sex. I like being with you and just hanging out with you. You’re my best friend.”
“Is it all about sex or not? Chance, I don’t want to just have sex. I want it to be amazing and mean something. I want to make love, not just have sex.”
“C’mon Sonny, it’s just sex. I love you, but it is,” he tried to convince me.
“It’s not just sex to me!” I snapped back, raising my voice. My hand shot to my mouth as if to take back yelling at him. I froze as I heard footsteps on the stairs. I shot a finger to his mouth to quiet him. I grinned as I heard the steps move closer to my door. I rushed to the door with Chance close behind me.
I cracked the door to meet my mother’s face as I quickly shoved Chance behind the door.
“Are you okay?” she asked as she attempted to peer into my room.
“Yeah. Everything is okay. I was just on the phone. Sorry, I didn’t know I was getting so loud. Just a little…ummm…debate,” I replied as I tried to hide the grin on my face and shield her from my room.
“Anything you want to talk about?” she asked concerned.
“Nah. Just stuff.”
“Honey, look…I think we need to talk about some things,” she started.
“Mom,” I interrupted, “Please, it’s late and I was just going to bed. Can we talk tomorrow or something? We can go to breakfast. You know, girl time?” I smiled my best smile. She seemed satisfied as she nodded.
She smiled, “Alright. Tomorrow.”
She turned and headed back down the stairs. I waited until I heard her at the bottom of the stairs, then I closed my door. I exhaled deeply as I looked at Chance. I grinned at the thought that I had just gotten away with something, and giggled slightly. I covered my mouth to stifle my laugh as I winked at him.
“That was a close one,” I whispered to him.
“Yeah,” he smiled, “too close. What do you think our parents would do if they caught me up here this late?”
“Probably lose their minds and be convinced that I am having sex with you. I wouldn’t be able to convince them otherwise. They would probably bolt my windows and…and...I don’t know. No telling,” I looked up to him as I shrugged. He was closing in on me again.
“Chance. Don’t you want it to be special too?” I could feel my heart rat
e quicken with anticipation, but I pushed through the butterflies in my stomach.
He ignored my question, reaching around me and locked the door as he smiled at me.
“We don’t lock doors in this house. I will get in trouble,” I whispered to him. He kissed me on the cheek, and then slowly down my neck as he smiled.
“Seriously, Chance, my parents are right down stairs,” I urged. I didn’t want him to stop, but it was risky.
“I don’t care,” he whispered into my ear, “I really don’t care what anyone says or does, anymore. I’m done trying to act as if not being with you doesn’t bother me. All I care about is you, I always have…” He stopped kissing me and looked deeply into my eyes.
“I love you, Sonny.”
He smiled as he kissed me again, slower this time. He pulled my shirt over my head as he continued to kiss me gently. I pleaded with my eyes, for an answer. Anything.
He pulled me closer to him, holding me against him as he let out a long breath.
“I want you,” he whispered into my ear, “all of you and only you. And yes, I do want it to be special.”
I felt as if my heart was in my throat. I counted in my head, attempting to calm myself down. I took a deep breath as I kissed him back.
Suddenly, I froze as I heard the door handle jiggle behind me.
“Sonny, open this door!” I heard my father say sternly. I couldn’t breathe. I grabbed my shirt and covered myself, as I shot to unlock the door. I gently cracked open the door to meet my father’s face. I shielded my body with the door.
“Why is this door locked?!” he demanded.
“I’m sorry, Daddy, I was changing,” I smiled glancing down at myself.
“Oh God, right, sorry. Sorry….ummm….have a good night,” he pulled the door shut and continued to talk through the wood, “Your mother was yelling good night on our way to bed and you didn’t reply. Didn’t you hear her?”
“Sorry Dad, I guess I had my music up too loud,” I giggled as I looked at Chance next to me.
“Oh. Okay. Good night sweetheart,” he finished.
“Good night, Dad,” I replied through the door. I grinned as Chance grabbed my waist and pulled me to him again as my father’s footsteps faded down the hallway.