Meet Ginny Moon.
She’s mostly your average teenager—she plays flute in the school band, has weekly basketball practice and reads Robert Frost poems for English class. But Ginny is autistic. And so what’s important to her might seem a bit...different: starting every day with exactly nine grapes for breakfast, Michael Jackson, taking care of her baby doll and crafting a Big Secret Plan of escape.
Ginny has been in foster care for years, and for the first time in her life, she has found her “forever home”—a place where she’ll be safe and protected, with a family who will love and nurture her. Though this is exactly the kind of home that all foster kids are hoping for, Ginny has other plans. She’ll steal and lie and reach across her past to exploit the good intentions of those who love her—anything it takes to get back what’s missing in her life. She’ll even try to get herself kidnapped.
Told in an extraordinary and wholly original voice, Ginny Moon is at once quirky, charming, bighearted, poignant and yet also heartbreaking and a bit dark. It’s a story of a journey, about being an outsider trying to find a place to belong and about making sense of a world that just doesn’t seem to add up.
Praise for
“Ludwig is a fine observer of human dynamics.... I was mightily impressed—this novel has all the elements for critical and popular success!”
—GRAEME SIMSION
“You will love this novel.... Ludwig paints in every color with ferocity and ultimately, joy.... This is a book to savor and share with everyone you know.”
—ADRIANA TRIGIANI
“Ludwig gives us a remarkable heroine in Ginny Moon, writing poignantly and yet starkly believably from an autistic girl’s point of view.”
—MELANIE BENJAMIN
“There is no guessing where Ginny Moon is going to take us in this page-turning, surprising, funny, heartbreaking, at times disturbing, and ultimately morally complex story.”
—EOWYN IVEY
“Ludwig’s novel is a genuine and touching debut; Ginny Moon is a wonderful and memorable heroine.”
—DAN CHAON
“Ginny had me wrapped around her little finger from the first page, and I’d have stayed under her spell for a book twice as long.”
—REBECCA MAKKAI
“A heartwarming but refreshingly honest story about the making of an American family, told by a character who is, indeed, original—and impossible not to love.”
—RUMAAN ALAM
“Ludwig does such a wonderful job of conjuring Ginny onto the page and of making us turn those pages at breathless speed.”
—MARGOT LIVESEY
“Ludwig creates a startling, powerful voice in Ginny Moon, a character who lingers well beyond the pages.”
—ERIKA SWYLER
“Artfully rendered, heartbreaking, funny and suspenseful, Ginny Moon is a veritable smorgasbord of a read.”
—JOHN LESCROART
“Ludwig shares a story that will have readers cheering for Ginny, fearing for her and wanting to reach inside the pages of this poignant novel to guide and protect her.”
—LORI ROY
“Ginny Moon is both honest and raw. Ludwig gives voice to the voiceless.”
—ALEXI ZENTNER
Contents
6:54 AT NIGHT, TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 7TH
7:33 AT NIGHT, TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 7TH
2:27 IN THE AFTERNOON, WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 8TH
2:50 IN THE AFTERNOON, WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 8TH
2:45 IN THE AFTERNOON, THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 9TH
6:45 IN THE MORNING, FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 10TH
7:04 IN THE MORNING, FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 10TH
9:08 IN THE MORNING, SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 11TH
11:03 AT NIGHT, SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 12TH
11:32 IN THE MORNING, MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 13TH
EXACTLY 6:57 IN THE MORNING, TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 14TH
EXACTLY 3:31 IN THE AFTERNOON, TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 14TH
EXACTLY 10:05 IN THE MORNING, WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 15TH
EXACTLY 6:52 IN THE MORNING, FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 17TH
EXACTLY 10:33 IN THE MORNING, SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 18TH
EXACTLY 9:10 IN THE MORNING, MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 20TH
EXACTLY 3:05 IN THE AFTERNOON, TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 21ST
EXACTLY 4:08 IN THE AFTERNOON, WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 22ND
EXACTLY 5:29, MONDAY, OCTOBER 18TH
EXACTLY 5:43 AT NIGHT, MONDAY, OCTOBER 18TH
EXACTLY 5:27 IN THE MORNING, TUESDAY, OCTOBER 19TH
EXACTLY 6:23 IN THE MORNING, TUESDAY, OCTOBER 19TH
EXACTLY 7:02 IN THE MORNING, TUESDAY, OCTOBER 19TH
EXACTLY 7:09 AT NIGHT, TUESDAY, OCTOBER 19TH
EXACTLY 6:50 AT NIGHT, WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 20TH
EXACTLY 6:22 IN THE MORNING, THURSDAY, OCTOBER 21ST
EXACTLY 11:33 IN THE MORNING, THURSDAY, OCTOBER 21ST
EXACTLY 11:40 IN THE MORNING, THURSDAY, OCTOBER 21ST
EXACTLY 2:48 IN THE AFTERNOON, THURSDAY, OCTOBER 21ST
EXACTLY 12:08 IN THE AFTERNOON, SATURDAY, OCTOBER 23RD
EXACTLY 2:08 IN THE AFTERNOON, SATURDAY, OCTOBER 23RD
EXACTLY 6:44 IN THE MORNING, MONDAY, OCTOBER 25TH
EXACTLY 11:28 IN THE MORNING, THURSDAY, OCTOBER 28TH
EXACTLY 4:14 IN THE AFTERNOON, FRIDAY, OCTOBER 29TH
EXACTLY HALLOWEEN—2:05, SUNDAY, OCTOBER 31ST
EXACTLY 2:52 IN THE AFTERNOON, TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 2ND
EXACTLY 9:08 AT NIGHT, TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 2ND
EXACTLY 4:17, WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 3RD
EXACTLY 8:05 IN THE MORNING, THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 4TH
EXACTLY 3:31, FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 5TH
EXACTLY 8:24 IN THE MORNING, MONDAY, NOVEMBER 8TH
EXACTLY 5:53 AT NIGHT, WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 10TH
EXACTLY 6:44 IN THE MORNING, FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 12TH
EXACTLY 10:37 AT NIGHT, TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 16TH
EXACTLY 6:22 AT NIGHT, WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 17TH
EXACTLY 10:55 IN THE MORNING, SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 20TH
EXACTLY 12:41 IN THE AFTERNOON, MONDAY, NOVEMBER 22ND
EXACTLY 11:41, FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 26TH
EXACTLY 4:17 IN THE AFTERNOON, MONDAY, NOVEMBER 29TH
EXACTLY 12:41 IN THE AFTERNOON, TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 30TH
EXACTLY 2:48 IN THE AFTERNOON, WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 1ST
EXACTLY 1:58 IN THE AFTERNOON, SATURDAY, DECEMBER 4TH
EXACTLY 3:55 IN THE AFTERNOON, WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 8TH
EXACTLY 2:51 IN THE AFTERNOON, THURSDAY, DECEMBER 16TH
EXACTLY 3:03 IN THE AFTERNOON, WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 22ND
EXACTLY 11:56 AT NIGHT, FRIDAY, DECEMBER 24TH—CHRISTMAS EVE
EXACTLY 6:16 IN THE MORNING, SATURDAY, DECEMBER 25TH—CHRISTMAS DAY
EXACTLY 4:00 IN THE AFTERNOON, SATURDAY, DECEMBER 25TH—CHRISTMAS DAY
EXACTLY 11:05 IN THE MORNING, SUNDAY, DECEMBER 26TH
EXACTLY 8:23 AT NIGHT, FRIDAY, DECEMBER 31ST—NEW YEAR’S EVE
EXACTLY 7:07 AT NIGHT, WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 5TH
EXACTLY 11:33 IN THE MORNING, FRIDAY, JANUARY 7TH
EXACTLY 9:08 IN THE MORNING, SATURDAY, JANUARY 8TH
EXACTLY 4:08, MONDAY, JANUARY 10TH
EXACTLY 6:32 IN THE MORNING, TUESDAY, JANUARY 11TH
EXACTLY 8:58 IN THE MORNING, WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 12TH
EXACTLY 3:12 IN THE AFTERNOON, FRIDAY, JANUARY 14TH
EXACTLY 9:18 IN THE MORNING, SATURDAY, JANUARY 15TH
EXACTLY 9:44 IN THE MORNING, SUNDAY, JANUARY 16TH
EXACTLY 3:50, MONDAY, JANUARY 17TH
EXACTLY 5:14 AT NIGHT, TUESDAY, JANUARY 18TH
EXACTLY 5:28, TUESDAY, JANUARY 18TH
EXACTLY 5:36, TUESDAY, JANUARY 18TH
EXACTLY 3:31 IN THE AFTERNOON, WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 19TH
EXACTLY 9:32 IN THE MORNING, THURSDAY, JANUARY 20TH
EXACTLY 4:48 IN THE AFTERNOON, THURSDAY, JANUARY 20TH
EXACTLY 2:10 IN THE AFTERNOON, FRIDAY, JANUARY 21ST
EXACTLY 2:58 IN THE AFTERNOON, FRIDAY, JANUARY 21ST
EXACTLY 11:19 IN THE MORNING, SUNDAY, JANUARY 23RD
EXACTLY 4:03, SUNDAY, JANUARY 23RD
EXACTLY 10:47 IN THE MORNING, MONDAY, JANUARY 24TH
EXACTLY 11:02 IN THE MORNING, MONDAY, JANUARY 24TH
EXACTLY 7:02 IN THE MORNING, TUESDAY, JANUARY 25TH
EXACTLY 7:57 IN THE MORNING, TUESDAY, JANUARY 25TH
EXACTLY 11:28 IN THE MORNING, TUESDAY, JANUARY 25TH
EXACTLY 10:58 IN THE MORNING, WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 26TH
EXACTLY 11:07, WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 26TH
EXACTLY 4:35 IN THE AFTERNOON, THURSDAY, JANUARY 27TH
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
6:54 AT NIGHT,
TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 7TH
The plastic electronic baby won’t stop crying.
My Forever Parents said it’s supposed to be like a real baby but it isn’t. I can’t make it happy. Even when I rock it. Even when I change its diaper and give it a bottle. When I say ush, ush, ush and let it suck on my finger it just looks dumb and screams and screams and screams.
I hold it close one more time and say, Nice and gentle, Nice and gentle, in my brain. Then I try all the things that Gloria used to do whenever I went ape-shit. After that I put my hand behind its head and move up and down on my toes. “All better. All better,” I say. From high to low like a song. Then, “So sorry.”
But still it won’t stop.
I put it down on my bed and when the crying gets louder I start looking for my Baby Doll. The real one. Even though I know it isn’t here. I left it back in Gloria’s apartment but crying babies make me really, really anxious so I have to look. It’s like a rule inside my brain. I look in my drawers. I look in the closet. I look in all the places a Baby Doll might be.
Even in the suitcase. The suitcase is big and black and shaped like a box. I pull it out from under my bed. The zipper goes all the way around. But my Baby Doll isn’t inside.
I take a deep breath. I have to make the crying stop. If I put it in the suitcase and put enough blankets and stuffed animals around it and push it back under the bed then maybe I won’t hear it anymore. It will be like I put the noise away inside my brain.
Because the brain is in the head. It is a dark, dark place where no one can see a thing except me.
So that’s what I do. I put the plastic electronic baby in the suitcase and start grabbing blankets. I put the blankets over its face and then a pillow and some stuffed animals. I’m guessing that after a few minutes the noise will stop.
Because to cry you need to be able to breathe.
7:33 AT NIGHT,
TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 7TH
I’m done with my shower but the plastic electronic baby is still crying. It was supposed to be quiet by now but it isn’t.
My Forever Parents are sitting on the couch watching a movie. My Forever Mom has her feet in a bucket of water. She says lately they have been swollen. I walk out into the living room and stand in front of her and wait. Because she is a woman. I’m a lot more comfortable with women than I am with men.
“Hey, Ginny,” my Forever Mom says while my Forever Dad presses the pause button. “What’s up? It looks as though you might have something to say.”
“Ginny,” says my Forever Dad, “have you been picking at your hands again? They’re bleeding.”
That was two questions so I don’t say anything.
Then my Forever Mom says, “Ginny, what’s wrong?”
“I don’t want the plastic electronic baby anymore,” I say.
She brushes her hair off her forehead. I like her hair a lot. She let me try to put it in pigtails this summer. “It’s been almost forty minutes since you went into the shower,” she says. “Did you try to make it stop? Here. Hold this until we can get you some Band-Aids.”
She gives me a napkin.
“I gave it a bottle and changed its diaper three times,” I say. “I rocked it and it wouldn’t stop crying so I s—” Then I stop talking.
“It’s making a different sort of sound now,” my Forever Dad says. “I didn’t know it could get that loud.”
“Can you please make it stop?” I say to my Forever Mom. And then again, “Please?”
“It’s great to hear you asking for help,” my Forever Mom says. “Patrice would be proud.”
Far away down the hallway I hear the crying again so I start looking for places to hide. Because I remember that Gloria always used to come out of the bedroom in the apartment when I couldn’t get my Baby Doll to stop. Especially if she had a man-friend over. Sometimes when it cried and I heard her coming I used to take my Baby Doll and climb out the window.
I grab the napkin tight and close my eyes. “If you make it stop I’ll ask for help all the time,” I say and then I open them again.
“I’ll go have a look,” my Forever Dad says.
He stands up. When he walks past me I recoil. Then I see that he isn’t Gloria. He looks at me funny and walks into the hallway. I hear him open the door to my room. The crying gets louder again.
“I don’t know if this idea is working,” my Forever Mom says. “We wanted you to see what it was like to have a real baby in the house, but this is not turning out like we planned.”
In my bedroom the crying gets as loud as it can get. My Forever Dad comes back out again. One of his hands is in his hair. “She put it in her suitcase,” he says.
“What?”
“I had to follow the sound. I didn’t see it anywhere at first. She crammed it in there with a bunch of blankets and stuffed animals, zipped it shut and then forced it back under her bed,” he says.
“Ginny, why would you do a thing like that?” my Forever Mom says.
“It wouldn’t stop crying,” I say.
“Yes, but—”
My Forever Dad interrupts her. “Look, it’s going to drive us all nuts if we don’t put an end to this. I tried to make it stop, but I couldn’t do it, either. I think it’s at the point of no return. Let’s just call Mrs. Winkleman.”
Mrs. Winkleman is the health teacher.
“She said she gave the emergency phone number to Ginny this morning,” my Forever Mom says. “It’s on a piece of paper. Check in her backpack.”
He walks into the hall and opens the door to my bedroom again. I cover my ears. He comes out holding my backpack. My Forever Mom finds the paper and takes out her phone. “Mrs. Winkleman?” I hear her say. “Yes, this is Ginny’s mom. I’m sorry to call so late, but I’m afraid we’re having a problem with the baby.”
“Don’t worry, Forever Girl,” my Forever Dad says to me. “This will all be over in a few minutes, and then you can get ready for bed. I’m sorry this is so intense and nerve-racking. We really thought—”
My Forever Mom puts the phone down. “She says there’s a hole in the back of its neck. You have to put a paper clip into the hole to touch a button and shut it off.”
He goes into the office and then he comes out again and walks dow
n the hall into my bedroom. I start counting. When I get to twelve the crying stops.
And now I can breathe again.
2:27 IN THE AFTERNOON,
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 8TH
When I was in Period Four which is social studies Mrs. Lomos came into the classroom to give me a message. She is my guidance counselor. She has big circle earrings and wears lots of makeup. “Your parents are coming to school for a meeting,” she said. “They’re going to bring you home afterward, so when we hear the afternoon announcements and the bell rings, just stay in Room Five with Ms. Dana. You can work on your homework for a little while. They’ll call you in at some point. They want you to be part of it.”
So right now I am in Room Five which is where I go for part of language arts with all the other special kids. Because I have autism and developmental disabilities. No one told me yesterday that there was going to be a meeting today. I’m guessing it’s about the plastic electronic baby.
Ms. Dana is at bus duty. I see her out the window wearing her orange vest. She is standing next to Bus Number 74. Which is my bus. Behind it and in front of it are other buses. Lines and lines of kids are getting on them. In the hallway all the sports kids are getting ready for practice. Alison Hill and Kayla Zadambidge are already gone. They are the other two kids who go to Room Five with me and Larry.
The buses usually leave by two-thirty but three minutes is not enough time for me to get on the internet. I’ve been trying for a long time to get on by myself but I’m not allowed to use it without an adult. One time when I was with Carla and Mike I put Carla’s laptop under my sweater and brought it into the closet. I was typing Gloria LeBla—in Google when the door opened and Carla found me. She took the laptop and when I stood up she got in my face and yelled and screamed.
And that made me scared, scared, scared.
So once at school when I was doing a report about big cats I tried to Google Gloria mostly sells Maine coon Cats because that is what Gloria does to make money. But my teacher caught me and when I came to this new school at my new Forever House my new Forever Parents said I can’t go on the internet, ever, because they need to keep me safe. Then Maura said that both she and Brian love me and that the internet just isn’t safe. Just isn’t safe because we know you’re looking for Gloria is what she really meant even though she didn’t say that last part.
Ginny Moon Page 1