“Gloria has a green car. The window was broken,” I say. “But then it got fixed.”
“You remember your mom’s car? Heck, I remember that car, too.”
“I saw it on September 14th in the parking lot at school.”
“I think it’s time to go on the swings,” my Forever Dad says.
“You two can go on the swings,” I say. “I’ll stay here and talk with my Old Dad Rick.”
My Forever Mom laughs. “Sorry, but we need to stick together.”
I point at the swings. “You can stick together over there if you want,” I say, “and we’ll stick together right here.”
“Ginny, we’re not letting you out of our sight,” my Forever Dad says. “Not after what happened before.”
He means the kidnapping.
“You know, going on the swings sounds like a great idea,” says Rick. “I’m in the mood for a good swing.”
We walk to the swings. All of us together. I am mad because my Forever Parents won’t let me out of their sight. I’m wondering if they’ve got my number too.
I get on one of the swings and start swinging. Rick gets on the one next to me. The chains are cold. My Forever Parents stand in front of us watching. I don’t think I’m going to get to ask what I want to ask so I say, “Do you know if anyone is going to check on my Baby Doll?”
And he says, “Check on your Baby Doll? No, I don’t know anything about that.”
And I say, “I need to find it because it might be hungry. Do you think Gloria is acting pretty reasonably?”
Rick looks at my Forever Parents. They move their shoulders up and look back at him. Rick pushes back and starts to swing. “So, what should we talk about?” he says.
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“Heck, I don’t know,” he says. “It’s just a doll, right? Isn’t there anything else you want to talk about?”
“Yes,” I say.
“What?” he says.
I look at my Forever Parents and put my head down. I know they can hear me so I can’t ask what I really want to ask. Instead I ask the next best thing. “I want to know if you’ll go to Gloria’s apartment to make sure she’s taking care of it.”
Rick drags his work boots on the sand. He looks at my Forever Parents. They look back at him. “That’s really the same topic, isn’t it? Your folks told me you think about your old Baby Doll all the time,” he says. “You must really miss it.”
I nod my head. “Yes, I do,” I say.
“Maybe we can go to get you a new one, then,” he says. “I’ve never been able to get you a present, so maybe—”
“No,” I say. “I do not want a new one. I want you to go make sure the old one is safe. Gloria can’t take care of it.”
“Okay, okay,” says Rick.
Then my Forever Mom says, “No, Rick, don’t say okay. She’ll take you literally.”
“What? Oh, got it,” says Rick.
“Ginny, he means okay, he won’t go get you a new Baby Doll. So don’t worry. We wouldn’t let anyone do that to you.” Then to Rick she says, “This is what we were talking about. She won’t let go of the idea. There’s no use trying.”
“I always thought it never hurts to try,” says Rick in a quiet voice. He looks at me. “Do you have a favorite color?”
I try not to get distracted but I have to answer. “I like red,” I say.
“I like red, too. Red and blue.”
“Those are the Patriots’ colors,” I say.
He laughs. “I do love the Pats,” he says.
“When can we have a respite?” I say. “When can we give everyone a little break?”
“It’s too soon for that,” my Forever Dad says right away. “Isn’t that right, Rick?”
Rick is quiet for exactly three seconds. “Right,” he says. “It’s too soon. But maybe we could set up another time to visit.” He turns his head and looks right at my Forever Dad. “Would that be all right?”
My Forever Dad’s eyebrows get pointy like a V.
“Of course it would,” my Forever Mom says. “After all, we want the two of you to spend a lot of time together. As much as possible.”
“But no respite yet,” says Rick.
“Right. No respite yet,” my Forever Dad says.
EXACTLY 12:41 IN THE AFTERNOON,
MONDAY, NOVEMBER 22ND
At the table it is only me and Larry. Alison Hill and Brenda Richardson and Kayla Zadambidge are in line getting their lunches. Ms. Carol is standing next to the water fountain talking with another teacher. She is watching me but she isn’t close enough to listen.
“How did things go with that Rick dude this weekend? Was he nice?” says Larry.
That was two questions but I know he means the same thing by both so I say, “He was the man from Special Olympics.”
“You mean the one your other dad always talks to?”
I nod my head yes. Larry nods too.
“Whoa,” he says. “Who knew?”
“No one knew,” I say. “Only my Forever Dad.”
Larry makes a funny face. “How come you call him your Forever Dad all the time? I mean, I know you were adopted, but couldn’t you just call him your dad? I mean, it’s not like you’re going to go live with someone else.”
I think. “I’m going to go have a respite with Rick,” I say. “My Forever Parents need a little break.”
“A break from their own kid? That’s weird,” says Larry. “Say, you’re not thinking of going to go live with that Rick dude, are you? Because, babe, if you went away...”
He stops talking. Then in a shaky voice he starts singing a song about how God only knows what he’d be without me. Sometimes he stops singing and says Dum-dum, Dum, Dum starting low and marching up.
“You dig?” he says when he finishes the song.
He means Do you understand? So I say, “No, Larry, I do not dig.”
“Don’t you want to be my—Don’t you want us to be boyfriend and girlfriend? Someday, I mean.”
“No, Larry,” I say again.
“Man, that stinks,” he says. And throws one of his arm braces down. It clatters and bounces. His face is tight and there are tears coming out the corners of his eyes. Then he says, “I mean, us special kids—we need to stick together, you know? It’s not like either one of us has a shot at getting with a regular girl. I mean, a regular person. So fine, I get it. You’re not interested. We can just be friends. But I still don’t want you to go anywhere. You’ll always stay right here in Greensborough, right?”
I don’t say anything. In my tray I use my fork to turn some spaghetti over. I have to answer the question unless I take too much time thinking of an answer and Larry says something else.
Which is exactly what happens.
“Anyway, I hope you’ll stay. We’ll be in high school next year. High school lasts four whole years. It’s going to be a blast. You don’t want to go to high school somewhere else, do you?”
“No,” I say. Because I don’t want to go to any high school at all. I want to go to Canada to take care of my Baby Doll. Or stay somewhere else with it. Anywhere. Five years is a long time and now that Crystal with a C is in jail I have to keep it safe from Gloria.
“Well, that’s good. Sometimes I think you just can’t stand it here. It’s like you’ll never be happy. There’s some good stuff here for you, you know? Like me. I’ll do anything for you. Don’t you know that?”
“I know,” I say. And I will remember it.
EXACTLY 11:41,
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 26TH
Rick is in my room right now. With me and my Forever Parents. My Forever Mom is in the doorway and my Forever Dad is sitting on my bed. Thanksgiving was yesterday so today he came over to
visit. He will stay for lunch. My Forever Parents said they wanted him to see how I am at home. They want him to see how I set my room up so he can get ready for our respite. They are with us right now but when they leave I’ll ask him to bring me up to Canada and to tell Gloria to come meet me there.
“What sorts of things do you like for breakfast?” says Rick. He is looking at my Michael Jackson posters and my calendar. “You sure do like to keep track of birthdays.”
“Mostly eggs and cereal and pancakes and French toast,” I say. “And toast with butter and bacon and oatmeal. And nine grapes. With a glass of human milk.”
He bends down to look at all the books in my bookcase. Then he looks at my pictures. All the frames are red. “Do you know how to cook? It’s no problem if you don’t.”
I nod my head yes. “Crystal with a C taught me how to make scrambled eggs,” I say.
Rick straightens up. “You always call her Crystal with a C,” he says. “I wonder how the heck else people spell Crystal. With a C-H, maybe?”
I shake my head no. “With a K,” I say.
“With a K? I don’t think I’ve ever heard of someone spelling Krystal with a K.”
“That’s how we spell my Baby Doll’s name,” I say.
My Forever Mom’s eyes get as big as Ms. Carol’s.
“Ginny, did you just say your Baby Doll has a name?” my Forever Dad says.
I nod my head yes.
“And her name is Krystal with a K?”
I nod my head yes again.
“Who called it that?”
“Gloria.”
“But you always call it my Baby Doll,” my Forever Mom says.
“Krystal with a K is my Baby Doll,” I hear myself say.
Krystal with a K. The words sound funny when I say them because I’ve never said them before. Because in my brain my Baby Doll will always be my little baby just like Crystal with a C said. Gloria is the one who lies and Crystal with a C is the one who tells the truth.
“Wait,” my Forever Dad says. “Your Baby Doll has a real name. Who named it Krystal with a K?” One of his eyes squints and his mouth turns sideways.
“Gloria named it Krystal with a K to tell the difference from Crystal with a C,” I say.
“Ginny, are you saying that...that your Baby Doll is actually a real baby?” says my Forever Mom.
Everything stops. Everything freezes. Because they get it. They finally, finally understand.
I nod my head yes and I try to say yes with my mouth but the word is stuck. I can’t make it come out. My brain can’t let it go because it never called my Baby Doll Krystal with a K even though that’s its name. Then all at once the word pops out by itself and I hear my voice say, “Yes.” And then “Yes!” again.
Because that’s what I’ve been trying to tell people for five whole years.
“Holy shit,” says my Forever Dad.
“There is a real baby and Gloria named it after your aunt? After Crystal with a C?” says my Forever Mom.
“Yes!” I say.
Rick is shaking his head back and forth and moving his hands in the air. “I don’t know anything about any of this,” he says, “but Gloria always looked up to Crystal. They were really close. Crystal looked out for her a lot when they were younger. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if she named a baby after her.”
I nod my head yes.
“So why did you call it my Baby Doll?”
I think. “Because it was my job to take excellent care of it,” I say. “Plus I didn’t know how to spell. Plus—”
“I need to make a phone call,” my Forever Mom interrupts me. “I need to make a phone call right now. Rick, we’re going to have to cut this visit short.” She leaves the room fast.
“But I just got here,” he says. “If we’re going to make this work, you guys are—”
My Forever Dad’s voice gets louder. “Rick,” he says.
“All right, all right,” says Rick. “Ginny, I’ll send you an email tonight, okay?”
“Rick, please leave. We need you to go!” my Forever Mom yells.
Rick shakes his head. “You people,” I hear him say. And then he gets his coat and leaves.
EXACTLY 4:17 IN THE AFTERNOON,
MONDAY, NOVEMBER 29TH
“A lot has been going on in your life,” says Patrice. “Again.” She is sitting in the flower chair.
“Mmm-hmm,” I say because my mouth is full of graham crackers.
“Do you like spending time with your Birth Dad? With Rick, I mean?”
“Mmm-hmm,” I say again.
“That’s good,” says Patrice. “Before you know it, you’ll be going to visit him at his house. The plan is to have you go there for a weekend after Christmas break. Everyone is hoping you’re comfortable with him. They’re hoping you might want to stay with him. Maybe even go live with him, if you like him enough. He seems to really like you, even if he doesn’t get along perfectly with your Forever Parents.”
I nod my head yes and take another bite of graham cracker.
“You know, I made a call to Social Services after your Forever Mom called me,” says Patrice. “I asked them to go to the apartment to visit Gloria. She was the prime suspect when the kidnapping investigation was going on, so she was used to having police and other people come to ask her questions. But she wasn’t expecting Social Services to come visit her again. They brought a policeman with them, too. Can you guess what they found when they went to the apartment door?”
“A Maine coon cat?” I say.
“No. Your little sister. They found your Baby Doll.”
I stop chewing and listen.
Patrice makes a loud breathing sound and then she is quiet but I hear a loud ringing in my ears getting louder and louder. I can feel every single hair on my head like it is electric.
“The social workers knocked on the door, and when Gloria opened it, the police officer walked right in, and there she was. Your sister. And yes, there was quite a scene, but the bottom line is that we were wrong, Ginny. And I’m sorry. For five years now you’ve been telling us that your Baby Doll was a real baby, and you were right. Krystal with a K is completely undocumented, as it turns out. That’s why no one knew. Gloria did an amazing job of keeping her hidden. She must have been really scared that the police were going to take her away.”
I nod my head. “Gloria doesn’t like the police,” I say. “And she’s a smart cookie.”
“No one will deny that,” says Patrice. “But we’re starting to piece everything together now. It’s almost as if there was a big puzzle right underneath our noses, and now that we see it, we can finally put it together. So again, I’m sorry. But I’m excited, too, because now I’m beginning to understand. I understand why you know so much about taking care of babies.”
I want to tell Patrice that I’m happy. I want to tell her that I’m so, so glad but I’m falling deeper and deeper into my brain and I can say only what I see. What I remember.
“It was my job to take care of it,” I say. “Gloria said I need to take excellent care of my Baby Doll and keep it quiet.”
“She said that?” says Patrice.
But I don’t hear anything else Patrice says. I hear only Gloria. Take excellent care of your Baby Doll, Gin. Don’t let anyone see or hear her. Donald is coming over tonight and I want it to be magical. That was when I learned how to put my finger on my Baby Doll’s lips so it could suck on it and be quiet. And when I learned to pick it up and say, Ush, ush, ush. To make it quiet. To put milk or mayonnaise on a spoon to feed it because after a while there wasn’t a bottle but still I had to make it quiet.
Quiet is what scares me the most even though it keeps me safe. I see Gloria go out to meet her dealer. The door closes behind her.
“Glor
ia left you with Krystal with a K all the time,” I hear Patrice say. “She used to go away for hours and hours to parties or to get drugs. You kept Krystal with a K hidden so the neighbors wouldn’t see her. And the worst part is that when Gloria was there, she was too angry to take care of the baby herself or was just plain high.”
“I did a good job of taking care of my Baby Doll,” I say. “Can I please go back to take care of it again?”
Patrice looks at me funny. “You know, I was wondering how old Krystal with a K is now. Do you know? I mean, I don’t even know when her birthday is.”
“November 16th,” I say.
“November 16th? I wonder how old that makes her. Let’s see.”
Patrice looks up at the ceiling and starts counting on her fingers. I know she is trying to do some math.
I swallow what’s in my mouth and take a drink of milk. “My Baby Doll is approximately one year old.”
Patrice doesn’t move her mouth at all. It’s like her smile is frozen. “Only one year old?” she says. “That means she’s not old enough to go to school yet.”
I nod my head yes. “You have to be five years old to go to kindergarten.”
“And how many years has it been since you left Gloria’s apartment?”
“Fo—” I start to say but then I stop because I remember that my birthday was September 18th. I used to say four years all the time when people asked me how long it’s been since I was in Gloria’s apartment but now it’s five. Because another year passed. “Five years,” I say.
“Exactly,” says Patrice.
“Exactly,” I say too but I don’t know why I say it. I am too busy thinking.
“It was a big surprise when you told everyone her name this weekend,” says Patrice. “No one knew she had a name.”
“I called her my Baby Doll,” I say.
“Right. Because she really was like your Baby Doll. You carried her around and took care of her all the time. But it’s been—How long has it been again? Oh, I remember now. Five years. Five whole years—and that’s why you want to go see her so badly. A lot could have happened in that time. You want to make sure she’s safe.”
Ginny Moon Page 14