“What makes you think the big present is from Gloria?” my Forever Dad says.
Then before I can answer my Forever Mom says, “The big present isn’t coming with us.”
I don’t know if I should answer the question or tell my Forever Mom that I am angry. Because she interrupted me before I even started talking and We do not interrupt. But if I say that I’m angry we’ll get into an argument and then I’ll never figure out where the present is. So I say, “I want to go right to the tree and open all my presents. The ones from Santa and the ones from you.”
“We aren’t going to open presents as soon as we get there,” my Forever Dad says. “It’s really, really early and we’re going to be guests at Grammy’s. We have to remember that we’re not going there just to open gifts. We’re going there because Grammy and Granddad invited us back.”
“Why did they ask us to come back so early?” I ask.
“Don’t you think this is fun?” my Forever Mom says in a funny voice. “I know I just love getting up before the crack of dawn on Christmas Day after we’ve been up all night watching the windows because someone gave out all our personal information on Facebook and now the Queen of White Trash knows where we live. Especially when it’s only ten degrees outside and we have a two-month-old baby. Don’t you think?”
She asked a question but I know I don’t have to answer it. She wants me to say something so she can yell at me. I sit quietly in my seat and push my hands together between my knees and imagine I am in a box.
EXACTLY 4:00 IN THE AFTERNOON,
SATURDAY, DECEMBER 25TH—CHRISTMAS DAY
We are still at Grammy and Granddad’s house. We have been here all day. Officer Joel came to visit us here. I tried hard not to hiss at him. He talked with my Forever Parents for a long time in the kitchen while I stayed in the other room and played with my new toys. I got a Michael Jackson Pez dispenser and a Michael Jackson calendar and a Michael Jackson key chain and a book about Michael Jackson. That makes four more Michael Jackson things. And I have a new backpack with two pockets on the sides and a special secret pocket inside that closes with a zipper.
It will come in handy when it’s time to go up to Canada with Rick.
When Officer Joel leaves my Forever Parents come back into the living room. My Forever Mom takes my Forever Sister back from Grammy and gives it a hug. Everyone always says it’s so cute.
My Forever Dad sits down on the couch. He looks at me and I look at him and then I say, “Merry Christmas! Can I open the big present now?”
And he says, “Ginny, the big present isn’t here, remember? Besides, it wasn’t for us. Whoever left it at our house must have made a mistake.”
I don’t say anything back to him. He isn’t telling it straight. He is lying. He never lied to me before. This is the first time. He is trying to keep me safe, I’m guessing, but now I know I can’t believe what he says.
“Can we open some presents then?” I say.
“Yes, of course we can,” he says back. And then he hands me a big box wrapped in blue wrapping paper with white snowflakes and a white ribbon. I put a big smile on my face and open it anyway.
EXACTLY 11:05 IN THE MORNING,
SUNDAY, DECEMBER 26TH
I was right. The big present was for me. It was from Gloria. I know because I was being very quiet and making no noise at all while my Forever Sister was sleeping and my Forever Mom was talking on the phone even though We don’t listen to other people’s phone conversations. I heard her stop talking and then I saw her look into my room but she didn’t know I was in the living room and she put her hand near her mouth and she said, “It was a stuffed animal—a giant cat. Can you believe it? A giant freaking cat! After everything that happened—talk about having no sense!”
Then she stopped talking. Sometimes when you’re on the phone you have to wait for the other person to say something. Then she said, “Of course not. Brian put it in the shed that same night and then drove it to the dump the next day. We didn’t want to bring it to Goodwill because the mother might see it there. You never know. She shops at places like that.”
And my Forever Mom is right. Gloria does shop at places like that. She once brought me to the Goodwill store to find new boots. And we found them for exactly $2.95. Gloria didn’t have enough money with her to buy them so she made me ask an old lady and the old lady got the boots for me. I was so excited I put them on right there and gave the old lady a hug. And Gloria cried a little which made me confused because I liked the boots. Boots that were black with pink fringe at the top. That was when I was really little. It’s hard to remember now.
But I want that giant freaking cat. Because it is a message from Gloria. Plus there’s the letter. She is trying to tell me that she won’t give up. I want to get her message and send her one back that says, You have to be careful or you’re going to get caught. Just wait for me to talk with Rick at the respite and then we can make our plan to run away up to Canada.
I am angry because I can’t tell my Forever Dad about all these things. I want to talk with him and tell him how I feel but I can’t because he wants to keep me safe. I want to yell and complain and say Well dang! But I can’t. Because if he knew what’s in my brain then he would know that I was sneaking and listening to phone conversations which I’m not supposed to do. I’m going to have to do a lot of things now that I’m not supposed to do and they’re going to make me really anxious but I have to do them anyway because my Baby Doll is probably getting abused and neglected like I was and I have to stop it.
EXACTLY 8:23 AT NIGHT,
FRIDAY, DECEMBER 31ST—NEW YEAR’S EVE
It is New Year’s Eve. Grammy and Granddad and Uncle Will and Aunt Jillian and Uncle John and Aunt Megan are all here at the Blue House. And Rick. All of them are wearing funny hats and I am wearing one too. My hat is like an upside-down ice-cream cone. It is red with silver writing on it that says Happy New Year.
For dinner we all had Chinese food. Uncle Will brought two big bags that were brown like the ones in the grocery store and inside them were exactly six big plastic rectangle containers with covers and five white containers with little metal handles. I had chicken on a stick and beef on a stick and little red ribs and something that looked like brown spaghetti and some crab Rangoons and chicken fingers. Then my Forever Mom made me eat some broccoli and pea pods. I don’t like vegetables, mostly. And after that I had to take a break, she said. Because “We don’t want a repeat of Christmas Eve, do we?”
All the food containers and lots of extra napkins and plastic forks are still on the table. My Forever Dad keeps looking out the window every few minutes or so. It is like he’s waiting for Santa Claus or something so I say to him, “Don’t you know that Santa already came? This is New Year’s Eve.”
He doesn’t answer so I know he’s looking for Gloria.
Now I’m sitting on the floor at the coffee table in my jammies with Aunt Megan and Aunt Jillian and Rick. Rick has a drink with lots of ice in it. We are playing a game called Yahtzee. I like it because when you roll the dice you get to look at the numbers on them and count them. The game comes with a special pad with places on it to write down your score. And sometimes you get to yell, “Yahtzee!” really loud and then one of my Forever Parents gets to say, “Shh!”
In the driveway I see lights which means someone is here.
I’m scared because if it’s Gloria she might get caught. But she might have my Baby Doll with her so I jump up and look and I see a car there but I can’t see who’s in it because the headlights are shining in my eyes. I look away fast and shut my mouth and put my hand over it so no one can see inside.
Then I hear Aunt Jillian say, “Ginny, why are you covering your mouth?”
And Aunt Megan says, “Brian?”
But I am sitting down again with my mouth shut tight. I l
ook away from the window and take my hand away. I see my Forever Mom holding her cell phone and my Forever Dad is standing at the window again and Rick and Uncle Will and Uncle John and Granddad are standing at another window and the bright, bright lights are shining into the house from outside. It is like Forever is shining at us. It is trying to burn through the walls with big laser beams.
“It’s a car,” says Uncle Will.
“What color is it?”
“How the hell should I know? It’s pitch-dark, and there are lights shining in my face.”
Uncle Will looks out the window again. “White, I think.”
Then there’s a knock at the door.
My Forever Dad opens it. It is a pizza man. I know because he is carrying a pizza. And I know exactly what kind it is because I can smell it. “Can I help you?” my Forever Dad says.
“I’m here to deliver a pizza,” the pizza deliveryman says.
“I’m sorry, but we didn’t order one.”
“It’s for Ginny,” says the pizza deliveryman. “And it’s already paid for.”
“Excuse me?” says my Forever Dad.
“The pizza is for someone named Ginny,” the pizza deliveryman says. He takes out a piece of paper and gives it to my Forever Dad. My Forever Dad looks at it and crumples it up and puts it in his pocket. “Even the tip is included,” the pizza deliveryman says.
Then the pizza deliveryman gives the pizza to my Forever Dad and says, “Happy New Year,” and walks away.
My Forever Dad shuts the door. Everyone is looking at him. The pizza is bacon and onion. It is my favorite. It smells good.
So I say, “Can I have it, please?”
And my Forever Mom says, “Ginny, your dad and I need to talk.”
So I say, “I’m okay with that. I’ll start eating the pizza while you talk.”
“No,” my Forever Dad says to me.
So I say, “Why not?” Even though his voice is an angry voice.
Then Rick says, “Yeah. Why not?” but no one listens to him.
My Forever Dad looks at my Forever Mom. My Forever Mom looks back at him. “Well, I don’t know what the hell to do,” she says.
“It’s food,” says my Forever Dad. “We can’t just throw it away.”
“We can’t just accept it, either.”
“Again, why not?” says Rick a lot louder.
This time everyone looks at him.
“Because Gloria isn’t allowed to see Ginny,” my Forever Dad says.
Rick puts his drink down. The glass makes a loud clink. “She isn’t seeing her,” he says. “She’s just trying to do something nice for her daughter. What’s wrong with that?”
“If you give that woman an inch...” says my Forever Mom.
“Then what?” says Rick. “She’ll violate a restraining order and get herself arrested? Come on.”
“She’s completely unpredictable,” my Forever Dad says.
“Unreliable,” I say. “Can I have my pizza?”
“Look, I just think you folks are way too uptight about some things,” says Rick.
“I think my friend Rick here has had a little too much to drink,” says Granddad. He puts his arm around Rick’s shoulders.
Rick sways. He smiles at Granddad. “Maybe. Maybe,” he says. “But still—”
“Rick,” says my Forever Dad.
“—you can’t keep people separated. Eventually the situation will just explode in your face. You know, ka-boom.”
My Forever Mom looks like she’s going to yell. Then my Forever Dad says, “Rick, please, let us handle this.” Then he turns to my Forever Mom. “The damage is done. The pizza is in the house.”
So I ask, “Can I please have it?” because it’s a rule that you have to say please when you ask for something.
“Not now, Ginny,” my Forever Mom says.
“But it has my name on it,” I say and point to the box. Everyone looks. It says G-I-N-N-Y all in capital letters on the side. In black magic marker.
“Son of a bitch,” my Forever Dad says and he puts the pizza down on the table. It makes a loud noise. “Go ahead. Eat it.”
So I open the pizza. I am so excited my hands are shaking. I count the pieces out loud. “One, two, three, four—”
“There are eight pieces!” my Forever Mom says to me. “All pizzas always have exactly eight pieces in them. You don’t have to count!”
But I have to make sure so I start counting again.
“Do it in your head!” she says so I finish in my brain. She is right. And I know the pizza is from Gloria. I’m guessing she thinks she is the smartest cookie ever. She is still trying to break through the walls of Forever. She is telling me again that she won’t give up even though everyone says she isn’t coming back. You are wrong, wrong, wrong, she is telling them, and this bacon-and-onion pizza proves it. But I know if she breaks through and kidnaps me she will get caught. The police will catch her and take her to jail.
I look at Rick. He is leaning against the bookcase and holding his glass again. I have to talk with him about going up to Canada. If Gloria keeps trying to break through Forever I can’t wait for the respite. I have to talk with him tonight.
“This isn’t a violation of the restraining order, is it?” my Forever Mom says.
“I don’t think so.”
“And what about this? We can’t let her eat the whole thing. It’s eight whole pieces of frigging pizza. She already gorged herself on Chinese.”
I don’t say anything because my mouth is full. Plus it sounds like they might take it away. I start eating faster.
“Ginny, slow down,” my Forever Dad says. “No one is going to take your food. Only have one piece tonight. You can eat some more for breakfast tomorrow.”
Pizza is not a breakfast food but I don’t want them to say I can’t have it for breakfast so I say, “And lunch?”
“And lunch.”
“And supper?”
“Sure. Supper, too,” he says.
“What the hell are we supposed to do?” my Forever Mom says. “Call the police and say we’d like to report a delivered pizza?”
“It’s a form of harassment,” says Uncle Will.
“That’s probably debatable,” says Granddad.
“Damn right, it’s debatable,” says Rick. “If it were me—”
“It’s not you,” says my Forever Dad.
“Right. But it will be someday. That’s what the two of you said, isn’t it? And I’ll tell you what I’m going to do when it happens. I’m going to set up visitations.”
I stop chewing. No one says anything.
“That’s right,” says Rick. “Vi-si-fuck-ing-ta-tions. Try spelling that.”
“Rick, you have to stop,” says my Forever Dad. “We can’t talk about these things in front of Ginny. If you can’t abide by—”
“Abide? Where the hell do you think we are, a college classroom?”
“I’m just trying to say that Ginny needs a stable, uncomplicated environment, and what we’re doing right now isn’t exactly—”
“I don’t like the way you treat her!” says Rick. “I don’t like the way you treat me. I know you got into this because you couldn’t have a kid of your own, but now you got one, and you’re in over your heads. Way over your heads. And—”
“Ginny, time for bed,” says Aunt Megan. She puts her hand out to me. When I take it she brings me into the hallway. I listen to Rick and my Forever Parents argue but in my brain I’m thinking. I have to talk with Rick but he sounds really angry and my Forever Mom is yelling at him. Maybe I can talk with him at Special Olympics instead. I’m hoping Gloria won’t try to break through Forever again before then but she sent me a giant freaking cat and then a bacon-and-onion pizza. If she doesn’t
stop she’s going to end up in jail with Crystal with a C. And who will take care of my Baby Doll then? Will it have to go to jail too?
The yelling gets louder in the living room. “Could someone please drive this asshole home?” I hear my Forever Mom say. And then, “He’s not welcome in my house anymore, but I still don’t want it on my head if he dies in a fucking snowbank.”
Upstairs I hear my Forever Sister start to cry.
I lick my lips. “I think I need—”
“What, a beverage?” says Aunt Megan. “I’ll go get a glass of water for you while you’re getting dressed. I think a nice glass of water is exactly what everyone needs right now.”
EXACTLY 7:07 AT NIGHT,
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 5TH
I am going to Special Olympics with my Forever Dad. It is cold and dark.
When we get inside I see Rick right away. He is sitting by himself on the bleachers. We walk toward him and he stands up. I see Katie MacDougall and Brenda Richardson shooting hoops but I go right up to Rick and say, “Can we please talk about something?”
And Rick says, “I’m sorry, Ginny, but I’m here to say goodbye.”
I am confused. Goodbye is something you say when you are leaving. When you see someone you know you’re supposed to say Hey or Hi, how are you? instead. I don’t know why he said he’s here to say goodbye. I wait for him to explain.
“I need to go on a trip,” Rick says. “I have a big delivery to make down south.”
“Are you going to drive truck?”
Rick makes a breathing sound and smiles. “Yes, I’m going to drive truck. But I’m going to be away for a long, long time. So I wanted to give you something.”
And I say, “Is it a present with a giant freaking cat inside?”
Ginny Moon Page 17