by Lea Kinkade
* * * *
Xander’s cell phone rang as he was driving to Jordan’s house after dropping off Stephanie at her apartment. From the display on the phone, he knew the caller was Levi. He didn’t want to talk to Levi right now. He didn’t want to talk to anybody but Jordan. He needed to get to her house so he was there when she got back home. If not, she’d use the deadbolt and chain, and he would never get in to talk to her. Ignoring the ringing cell phone, Xander threw it back onto the console between the seats. Almost immediately, the phone started ringing again. Levi again. He let it go to voice mail again. Just as he pulled into Jordan’s driveway, the phone went off a third time. Levi again. Damn. Knowing it must be important if Levi was trying so hard to get him in person, Xander picked up the phone. “What?” he growled.
“You asshole,” grated Levi.
“What did I do, butthead? Why do you keep calling? I’m busy now. I’ve got something to do.”
“Don’t you mean someone to do?” Levi sounded more angry than Xander had ever heard him.
“Why are you calling, Levi? I don’t have time for games right now. I’ve got to take care of something.”
“Or someone.” Levi’s voice had been dark with innuendo.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Levi. I really gotta go.”
“She saw you, you know? Jordan? The woman you’ve been fucking for the past few weeks? She saw you with Stephanie at the club tonight.”
“So? What’s going on? Levi, what does Jordan have to do with anything?” Xander wasn’t about to admit anything to his brother.
“Fuck off, bro. You can try to pull that shit with other people, but you can’t get it past me. I know you’ve been screwing Jordan for weeks now. You haven’t been fooling anyone. Well, maybe yourself, but certainly nobody who’s been around both of you for any length of time. What were you thinking, asshole? You can’t screw around with someone as innocent as Jordan without someone getting hurt, damn it!” Xander held the phone away from his ear. Levi was yelling now. “She’s not used to your kind of games. Jessie’s gonna want to beat the shit out of you. Taylor already does. Hell, I’ll help them.”
Xander was left scrambling for a few seconds. “Back off, Levi. This doesn’t concern you or anyone else but me and Jordan.”
“What about Stephanie?” Levi’s voice literally dripped with sarcasm. “Does it concern your other fuck buddy?”
“Jordan is not my fuck buddy. She’s someone I care about.” Xander was angry that he had to defend himself against Levi’s accusations. “Look, it was a misunderstanding. I should never have taken Stephanie out tonight. I didn’t know Jordan would be at the club, or I never would have taken Stephanie there.”
“Not good enough, bro. Hell, you’re treating Jordan like you treat all the women you’ve been with since Sophie. Jordan’s not like your other women, Xander. She’s not Sophie, either. Jordan is innocent. She doesn’t know how to play your game. Girls like Stephanie eat Jordan’s kind for brunch. These past few weeks, Taylor and I have grown to think of Jordan like a little sister. You can’t play fast and loose with her like this, bro. She’s going to get hurt. This is a clusterfuck of epic proportions.”
“Leave Sophie out of this. I am not treating Jordan like all other women. This isn’t a game to me. Hell, if it was, I wouldn’t even be seeing her anymore. Tonight with Stephanie was a mistake. I intend to hash it out with Jordan and make her see that. I won’t be seeing any other women while I’m seeing her. I’ll make this right with her. She’ll be fine.”
“Oh, you are so screwed. You don’t get it. Jordan’s in love with you. Do you not see that? And you! You’re so in love with her, you’re backpedaling as fast as you can. Tonight wasn’t just a mistake. It was your attempt to run. You thought if you fucked Stephanie, you could prove to yourself that you’re not in love with Jordan. How’s that working for you, bro? For twelve years, you haven’t given a flying fuck whether or not you hurt a woman’s feelings. Now, here you are after only three weeks, and you say you’re willing to be monogamous with Jordan to avoid hurting her feelings. Get a fucking clue. You’re in love!” cackled Levi. “Now, you’d better go make this right with Jordan before I have to kick your ass. I sent her home and Ryder took over for her at the bar. She couldn’t even see straight she was fighting the tears so hard. Don’t screw this up.” Levi hung up.
* * * *
Jordan woke up slowly, feeling very groggy looking at the bedside clock. Only 11:00 p.m.? What was going on? Her head hurt. Her body hurt. Did she have the flu or something? She felt something hot and hard spooned around her back and realized it was Xander. Smiling to herself, she started to turn into his body, remembering the night before just as she turned to face him. Her smile dissolved. He was watching her with a grim face and shadowed eyes.
Jordan scrambled from the bed and turned to face him. She started to curse him then stopped. Instead, she just said, “Get out,” in a dead voice. “Leave the key I gave you on the counter and get out.”
Xander got up off the bed and held his palms up in supplication. “I’m sorry, Jordan. It was a huge mistake. Please let me explain. Nothing happened between me and Stephanie. I shouldn’t have taken her out again.”
Having turned toward the bathroom door, intending to go in and lock the door until he left, Jordan quickly twisted back around at his words. “Again?” she dangerously asked. “What do you mean, again? Have you been seeing her since we’ve been seeing each other? Have you been fucking her, too?”
“I haven’t been on a date with her for several weeks. I haven’t slept with her since you and I got together.”
“Oh, wait. That’s right.” Something suddenly occurred to her. “You haven’t slept with me either, have you? You fuck me. You don’t sleep with me. We fuck, and you go.
“Is that all she is to you? Is that what I am to you? Just another fuck buddy? How many of us are there?” Jordan wasn’t giving Xander a chance to respond. She continued. “Oh, wait,” Jordan murmured almost to herself, teeth coming out to worry her lower lip. “You were on a date with her, weren’t you? You’ve been dating other women. You’ve actually taken them out to dinner and dancing.”
Feeling the blood leave her face, Jordan said coldly, “You don’t take me out to dinner and dancing. You just come here and we screw before you go home to bed.” Jordan stopped as a sudden thought struck her. “Ah, I see. I think I get it now. I’m good enough to screw but not good enough to take out to dinner. You wanted to keep the fact that we were seeing each other a secret. I even lied to Jessie and the rest of your family about it. I’m the fuck buddy. I am. Oh my God! You don’t care about me at all, do you? I’m good enough to fuck, but not good enough to be taken out on a date. I’ve been so stupid. How could I have been so stupid? I don’t matter to you at all, do I? I’m just an easy lay. Hell, you don’t even have to take me out, and I still let you fuck me. That means I’m a cheap, easy lay.”
Xander grabbed her arm and jerked her toward his body. “That’s not how it is, Jordan,” he rasped.
“Then you tell me how it is, Xander. ’Cause that’s the only explanation I have for what’s been going on for the past month. Do your friends and family know that you've been dating Stephanie?”
“Yes. I'm sure most of them know.” Xander had the grace to look abashed.
“Do any of your friends or family know that we’re together?” Jordan's gaze pinned him to the spot with her accusation.
“No. Well, somehow Levi knows.” He stood there with a bleak expression on his face.
“That’s what I thought.” Broken, she extricated herself from his arms and turned her back on him. She wrapped her arms around her body as if she was cold. “I think you should go now,” she said in a dead voice. “Please go now. And leave my key on the counter.”
She heard him take a deep breath as if he was going to say something, but instead he just sighed loudly. She heard the click as he set the key down on the counter and waited to he
ar him open the door and leave. “This isn’t over yet, Jordan. I care about you. I made a mistake tonight by taking Stephanie out, but I haven’t had sex with anyone but you since the first night we were together. You’re special to me. I’m not letting you go without a fight. I’ll be back. I’ll give you some time, but I’m not letting you go. I’ll talk to you soon.” He silently turned and walked out the door.
Jordan waited until she heard his Escalade back out of her driveway and drive away on the street, and then she sank to her knees and started bawling like a baby. She didn’t know how she had any tears left after last night, but there sure seemed to be a lot left. She knelt there on the floor, bawling her eyes out, for half an hour. Then, she resolutely climbed to her feet and went to her bedroom. Grabbing her cell phone, she called Ryan and left a message on his voice mail that she was sick and wouldn't be able to make her shift the following day. She hated leaving them in the lurch like that, but there was no way she could handle work while she was still so raw.
She went to the bathroom, stripped off her clothes, and started the shower, blasting the water as hot as she could stand it. Stepping into the water, Jordan spent the next half hour scrubbing and cleaning every part of her body. Stepping out of the shower, smelling like lilacs, she slowly moved to the bedroom and put on her rattiest pair of shorts and a tank top. She went to the kitchen and made herself a cup of coffee, taking it with her to the pottery room after adding creamer and sweetener. There, she sat down on her stool in front of the potter’s wheel and proceeded to spend the next ten hours working the clay. She didn’t eat. She wasn’t hungry. In fact, she was kind of nauseous. She made only brief stops to go to the bathroom. Finally, aching from the tips of her toes to the top of her head, she took the last piece from her pottery wheel and set it on the drying shelf. She washed up in the bathroom, stripped, and climbed into bed, falling into an exhausted stupor. She didn’t look at her cell phone to see the messages or missed calls. She simply needed to be alone.
* * * *
Xander knew he had fucked up. Royally. After a week of Jordan not answering her cell phone and not responding to his voice mails, Xander was going crazy. Jessie had told him to stay the hell away from Jordan and keep his dick in his pants. Ryan and Ryder had told him he was persona non grata at the club until he fixed whatever the situation was with Jordan. His mother had cornered him at the office, as he had managed to duck all of her phone calls, and told him he had better get his head on straight. Dillon wouldn't speak to him. Levi had told him he was there if Xander wanted to talk. His father was mysteriously silent, but it seemed to Xander that his father looked at him with eyes filled with disappointment whenever they saw each other.
Everyone seemed to be in agreement that it was up to Xander to fix the situation. Xander agreed, but how could he fix anything if Jordan wouldn’t answer his phone calls or see him? One night, after about a week of this treatment and after leaving yet another message on Jordan’s voice mail, Xander went to see his father. He needed some advice. His father must have some advice to give Xander on fixing things with Jordan. After all, he had been married for more than thirty-five years to a pistol like his mother. He had to have gotten in trouble a time of two and had to fix it.
Following his father into his study, Xander explained what had happened with Jordan as well as what had happened with Sophie all those years ago.
Twelve years ago, Xander had been seeing Sophie. They had met at college and had been dating for nearly a year. He thought he was in love with her, and maybe he was, to some extent. Although what he now felt for Jordan made his feelings back then fade into nothing. He’d gotten Sophie pregnant, and she had insisted they get married. Thinking he was in love with her, he had asked her to marry him, and she had planned a lavish wedding. Setting it out for one month’s time. Xander had insisted the wedding be in Deseo at the church his family attended so that all his family could be there.
While waiting in the anteroom of the church until it was time to go out front and wait for his bride to walk down the aisle, Levi, his closest brother and best friend, had come back into the room with a heavy frown on his face. In his hands was the white jewelry box with the purple ribbon Xander had given him to give to Sophie only a few minutes ago. He asked Levi what was wrong and why he still had the box. Reluctantly, Levi had told him about the conversation he had overheard between Xander’s future wife and mother-in-law.
As he had approached the door to the bridal room to give Sophie the gift Xander had picked out for her for the wedding, Levi had heard the word “abortion.” Stopping short of going in, Levi had listened at the door as the two women discussed the fact that Sophie had aborted Xander’s child only one week before and was planning on waiting until after the wedding to tell him. She was going to claim that she had miscarried the baby. Her mother had thought Sophie should have waited until after the wedding to abort the child or gone ahead and had the child in order to secure her position in the Chisholm family for years to come.
Sophie had scathingly retorted that she had needed to have the abortion last week because the doctor wouldn’t perform abortions after the tenth week, and besides, she had no intention of ruining her figure for the sake of having a brat that she didn’t want. She laughed about how she didn’t need a brat to secure her position, and that Xander was so in love with her, he would believe whatever she said. Besides, she pointed out, she only intended to stay married long enough to get her hands on Xander’s money, and then she and her mother would be out of there.
His father didn’t respond immediately. Instead, he got out the whiskey and poured them both two fingers. After belting that back, he poured them each another finger and sat on the couch beside Xander.
Looking straight ahead, his father started talking. “I didn’t really know what all happened at the end there with you and Sophie, Xander,” he commented. “You never told us, and though I got the impression that Levi knew what happened, he’s never betrayed your confidence. It seemed real painful, so we let it go all these years. I can see now that I should have forced the issue and made you tell me. It’s really turned you into an unfeeling bastard toward women.” Xander couldn’t stand the disappointment in his father’s voice.
“I gotta say, Xander, I understand that you were hurt, but I’m disappointed in how you’ve handled this. You let one woman make you bitter like this. Not all women are like Sophie. You should be able to see that in your mother, your sister, and Taylor.” As Xander attempted to defend himself, Alex waved him off and said, “Hell, we know all about the other women.” He smiled grimly at Xander’s choked gasp. “Town as small as Deseo, people talk—especially to your family. For some reason, they just love telling your mother who the flavor of the month is. Good gossip seems hard to come by. Anyway, at least with the others, you seemed to choose women who were in it for just what you wanted to give them. But Jordan. Jordan’s like a member of this family. I never thought you could treat a woman like Jordan this way.”
“I didn’t start out to treat Jordan badly,” Xander said painfully. “I wanted her from the minute I saw her. I haven’t dated or slept with any other woman besides Jordan since we were first together. Last night with Stephanie was a mistake. I knew it the minute I made the date. I planned on ditching her as soon as I could. I didn’t sleep with her, damnit! Why does that not seem to matter to anyone?”
“Maybe ’cause you don’t sleep with any of them, Xander,” drawled Levi as he walked into the room. “You hightail it out of their beds as fast as you can after you screw them, just like you do with Jordan. You think this is just about your date with Stephanie? Man, you’re a stupid fuck. Sorry, Dad.” Levi blushed slightly at his use of profanity in front of his father.
“You treated Jordan like a dirty little secret. Trying not to let on that you two were spending time together, that you were involved. Hell, you treated all the women you’ve dated in the past twelve years with more respect than you’ve shown Jordan, the woman you’re in love with.
”
“Is this true, son? Are you in love with Jordan?” Xander could feel his father's eyes on him, watching him intently.
Xander drew a frustrated hand through his hair and paced back and forth in front of his father and Levi for a minute, thinking. Finally, in a blustery sigh, he admitted, “Yes, damn it. It’s true. I’m in love with her. God, Dad, I treated her like shit. She won’t even talk to me. How do I get her back?”
“I think Xander’s got some major wooing to do here, don’t you Dad?” Xander looked at his brother and saw he was now smiling.
“Xander, my boy, let me share some secrets I’ve only shared with one other person before today. After learning some of my secrets, your brother here took them, added a few ideas of his own, and eventually won the heart of his beautiful, yet stubborn, wife. So, between the two of us, we’ll teach you the fine art of wooing,” said his father, smiling for the first time since Xander had shown up at his door.
“Wooing?” asked Xander warily, looking back and forth between his brother and his father.
“Wooing,” responded Levi and his father simultaneously, laughing together as they looked at Xander.
Chapter 10
One week to the day that she kicked Xander out of her life, the roses started arriving. A dozen long-stemmed roses in a box, along with a crystal vase.
That first day, there were white roses. The sealed card, in Xander’s own handwriting, had read, “For the innocence that you gave me with the gift of your virginity.”
The following day, there were yellow roses along with another crystal vase. This card, again in Xander’s own handwriting, read, “As a symbol for a new beginning between us.”
The third day, a similar box and vase were delivered with light-pink roses. The card read, “Take these as a symbol of my admiration for you and the sweetness that shines from your face.