“No problem, ma’am. What would you like to order?”
Just then Lois’ mind went blank. For the life of her she couldn’t remember why she’d chosen this particular restaurant and what she’d planned to order. She remembered craving a certain food, but what was it?
The young man at the window was waiting patiently for Lois to spit out her order.
Lois smiled and squirmed a little in her seat. She smacked her forehead. “Oh my! I forgot,” she sputtered. “I’ll think of it in a second, okay?”
“Don’t feel bad, ma’am. You’d be surprised at how many people do the same thing.”
Lois felt her face flush. “Good to hear that. I… ” Just then she remembered and blurted out her order before it disappeared again. “Two shrimp dinners!”
She quietly thanked God the correct words had come to her just in the nick of time. She’d been thinking she’d have to drive all the way home and rehash her conversation with her mother before she’d remember what she’d craved. Whew!
Today’s Thoughts
Commit your way to the LORD.
PSALM 37:5
Dear God, some of these senior moments are just plain fun—and some are totally annoying. Please keep me safe from those that create havoc. I know you can do this because you are with me morning, noon, and night.
Flying High
65
A Lethal Weapon
Rachel and her daughter Carol enjoy shopping and having lunch together a few times a year. During one shopping excursion, they were walking down the aisle of hats and handbags in their favorite department store when Rachel noticed a selection of beautiful purses. She turned to look at them more closely when suddenly she did what she calls her “purse thing”—swinging her shoulders so quickly that her shoulder-strap purse crashes into whatever is close at hand. In this case it was a spiral hat rack, and it went down with a clang.
An older couple came to her rescue, setting the rack back up, picking up the hats, and replacing them on the hooks. “My dear,” said the gentleman, “you need to be more careful or you’ll be taking home more than your share of hats and handbags—enough to last you the rest of your life, from the looks of it.”
“You’re so right,” said Rachel. “Thank you for looking out for me.”
“Oh, we weren’t looking out for you,” said the gentleman as he chuckled. “We were looking out for ourselves. You give quite a ‘purse punch.’ You’d better watch that weapon or you’ll get yourself in more trouble than you’re already in.”
Rachel lowered her eyes and then glanced at the man. “I’ll do that. Thank you for the warning.” With that she turned quickly to look for her daughter Carol, and her purse fell from her shoulder and sailed off a short distance.
The same man she’d met a moment before came to her rescue again, this time with a wink and a nod. “Ma’am, may I recommend a solution? How about purchasing one of these nice, compact clutch bags? It may be costly now, but it might save you the expense of a lawsuit later on.”
Today’s Thoughts
In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.
JOHN 16:33
Lord, sometimes the trouble I get myself into is my own fault for not paying close enough attention or letting myself be distracted by the slightest thing. Thank you for not holding any of that against me and for gently guiding me back to reality.
66
The Weather Wins
My husband, Charles, and I sat on the plane, eager to get off the ground and wing our way from California to Ohio for Christmas with our daughter and grandkids. We hadn’t enjoyed a Christmas holiday with that family in more than a decade. The pilot taxied the airbus out to the runway and then suddenly stopped and moved the plane to the side, announcing that a storm was blowing in to Salt Lake City (our connecting point), and we would be temporarily delayed until further notice.
We sat… and sat… and sat. Then the plane taxied back to the terminal as the flight attendant announced that all passengers were to disembark, but we should hang around the boarding gate for updates. We did that… and did it some more until word came that the airport in Salt Lake City was closed to all incoming and outgoing flights.
We hoped to be rerouted—as did the other 200 and some passengers who crowded the desk trying to make new arrangements. For us there was nothing available until two days later. So we returned to the departure area, picked up our baggage, and headed home to wait it out.
I was so disappointed I could hardly stand it. We’d just said goodbye to our clean house, cleaned-out fridge, lights all set on timers, heating unit turned down, and neighbors alerted about our absence. Now we had to buy food, turn on the heat, and tell the neighbors we were home again for two days. I pouted for a while and then decided to give that up and trust God to work all things for the good of everyone concerned. And when I left him to do what I couldn’t do, he did just that.
Two days later we boarded, flew, landed, and enjoyed two weeks of fun and holiday cheer. When it was time to depart, we were spared the new storm that was threatening the Midwest. We drove to the airport just ahead of the heavy blanket of snow and got off the ground in the nick of time.
We nearly missed our final connection in Minneapolis. Once again I tossed up a request for guidance, and God came through as we were rushing from one gate to another. Suddenly a “tram angel,” a driver with no passengers in his vehicle, appeared in our path. I stepped out in front of him and called, “We’re old, we’re in a hurry, and we’re gonna miss our flight. Can you whisk us over to Gate F8?”
“Hop on!” he said. We jumped onboard, and he tooted his horn while scooting between the people as we hung on for dear life! He dropped us off just as the agent announced, “All parties may now board.”
We made it home safe and sound––and full of gratitude.
Today’s Thoughts
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
GALATIANS 6:9
Lord, I feel like giving up sometimes, but then I remember how you always come through in the right time in the right way. Thank you.
67
A Real Shaker
Sandra moved to California from Ohio with some trepidation. Having grown up in the Midwest, floods were no surprise to her—but earthquakes were another matter. She hoped she’d never have to endure one.
Shortly after settling into her new home, she awakened one night to a loud, lumbering noise. Her bed was shaking beneath her. She heard tree branches snap outside, and the window in her bedroom creaked. She feared someone had broken in and was hiding under her bed ready to pounce on her.
“I reached for my cell on my nightstand. I keep it handy in case of emergency,” she shared. She was certain this event qualified! She phoned the police station. When the police answered, Sandra explained what was happening.
The policewoman chuckled and said, “Ma’am, you’re okay. We’re having an earthquake.”
Then Sandra got really scared. The very thing she worried about and dreaded had occurred. But then she realized she was fine, and no real harm had been done. The bed was in the same place in her room, the window was still intact, and when she looked outside only a few twigs had broken off the tree.
Sandra explained that she was an Ohio girl—and earthquakes were foreign to her.
The two had a good laugh together and then hung up. Sandra went back to a peaceful sleep.
Today’s Thoughts
On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night. Because you are my help, [God,] I sing in the shadow of your wings.
PSALM 63:6-7
Lord, whether an earthquake, or fire, or flood, or hurricane, or tornado, you are my salvation and my hope. How I praise you!
68
Check In
Carly and her husband, Hank, were finally able to get away for a few days alone—something they really needed after a long harve
st season on their farm. As usual, Carly took charge of the travel details while her husband made sure they had enough money in the bank to pay the airfare, hotel bill, and meals, with a little extra for some fun and souvenirs.
“Hawaii, here we come!” Carly whispered under her breath. The departure date was upon them, and they had only a few details to wrap up before taking off for the airport. To keep things straight, Carly made up a folder with all the necessary information—hotel reservation, flight times, an expense sheet, and a list of emergency telephone numbers in case something unexpected occurred. She had everything under control and was proud to tell her husband he had nothing to worry about.
After the five-hour flight from San Francisco, they arrived on the Big Island ready to play and relax. They rented a car and drove to their hotel, leaving their car and luggage with the bell captain while they walked to the front desk to check in.
The attendant scanned her computer file as the couple waited patiently. “I’m sorry,” she said. “We don’t have a reservation for anyone under your name. Are you sure you have the correct hotel?”
Carly’s cheeks burned. “Of course, we have the right hotel. I have a printed confirmation right here in my purse.” She rummaged through her shoulder bag and pulled out the pink folder with the hotel information. The date read July 8, not July 3! Carly’s face fell. She had confused the numbers when making the reservations. Now what? They were thousands of miles from home. She started to cry.
“Please, ma’am. I’m sure we can fix this.” The woman disappeared into the back room and came out a few minutes later with a smile on her face. “If you’re willing to accept an upgrade to the honeymoon suite, it’s yours.”
Carly looked at Hank, and he stared back. They could barely afford a standard room—certainly not the honeymoon suite.
“I’m sorry but that’s way over our budget. Is that the only option?” Carly put on her best pleading expression.
“Did I neglect to tell you it would be at no extra charge? No one has booked it for this week.”
Carly switched to her best smile, and her husband gave her a squeeze. One silly mistake had turned into a fabulous surprise gift. Carly lifted her eyes to heaven. God, you are so good! This is one senior moment I can live with.
Today’s Thoughts
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
JAMES 1:17
Lord, how great and good and giving you are. Your storehouse is filled with surprises that you give without measure.
69
Zoned Out
Simon and Mandy found two seats in the waiting area near their departure gate. They hadn’t flown in a while, so Mandy handled her uneasy feelings with nervous chatter. Simon couldn’t handle any more stress. Packing, driving to the airport, checking in, and going through security were enough for him to give up travel for good. To the grocery store and back was about as far as he’d be willing to go from now on. Where Mandy got this idea that they should take a trip to Washington DC, he couldn’t understand. What would be so special about it? They could see all the monuments and statues and the White House on television from the comfort of their own home. “All that stuff is on a DVD!” he exclaimed when she’d posed the idea.
“It’s not the same as being there in person,” Mandy countered. “This is our nation’s capital. We have to visit at least once before we die. Imagine! All that history packed into one city. I can hardly wait.”
Simon took a deep breath and sighed. He knew she was going to win this one, so he agreed reluctantly. Now, as they waited to board the plane, he had to admit it did seem intriguing. Well, he’d see—when he got there. Meanwhile, he’d grab a snooze and get into line as soon as their boarding zone was called.
Suddenly, Mandy was shaking his shoulder. “Simon, it’s time! The gate attendant is calling Zone 3. That’s us!”
Simon sat up and snorted. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and took a gander at the line of people leading to the Jetway. “We’ve got time,” he said. “Look at all those folks ahead of us. It’ll take a while for them to walk on, put their luggage away, and find their seats. What’s your rush?”
Mandy threw up her hands and let out a long breath. “Simon, you do beat all, do you know that? Next time I go alone.”
Simon caught his wife’s hand and kissed it. “Just kidding.” He stood up, grabbed his carry-on bag, and followed Mandy to the end of the line.
Mandy relented with a smile. “Hang in there, honey. Once you settle into your seat you can zone out till we arrive in Washington.”
Today’s Thoughts
You will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble.
PROVERBS 3:23
Thank you, God, for the gift of travel and for all the delightful places in the world I have yet to see and enjoy. Help me relish the opportunities you offer.
70
Famous for a Day
Claire enjoyed making the rounds at the Community Author’s Fair that warm September day. It was always a pleasure to meet children from kindergarten to sixth grade and share with them details about “a day in the life of a real children’s book author.” The boys and girls seemed excited to meet her as well, and they welcomed her with hugs and handshakes and adoring facial expressions. She was a heroine in the eyes of many, and it felt good, she had to admit.
Teachers had prepared the students for her visit by introducing them to Claire’s books. She wrote about homeless children, horseshoeing, natural disasters, and more. The boys and girls had made posters and scrapbooks celebrating her stories and picture books. They were on display in the gym, and Claire was eager to walk around the room and see their creativity on display.
She’d been writing for some 30 years and was about to turn off the computer and retire. Claire had earned her living writing, achieved some measure of success, and enjoyed years of visits to schools and libraries around the country. What more could a woman ask for in this autumn season of life?
As she strolled the halls going from one classroom to another, Claire felt her eyes misting. It was going to be more difficult to quit than she’d anticipated. Many of these students and teachers she knew well after so many visits, and they knew her. At least she thought they did.
At the end of the day, Claire returned to the front office, signed out, and said goodbye to the secretary. As she walked out the door, a little redheaded boy ran up to her. “Mrs. Mrs. wait! You’re famous, aren’t you?”
Claire’s chest swelled as she considered his question. “I guess in my own small world of writing books I am famous,” she answered.
But just as quickly, her chest sank when the boy continued. “What’s your name?” he asked.
Today’s Thoughts
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.
1 PETER 5:6
Dear Lord, there’s no one like a child to bring a person back to earth hard and fast. Maybe that’s why you remind us to become as humble as little children if we wish to enter the kingdom of heaven.
Wordy Ones
71
Half-Wits
John poked Margaret as they sat in the last row at a homeowner’s meeting. They dreaded the hour-long process that always ended in squabbles and complaints. “Who’s that guy across from whatshisname?” John whispered. “I know him but I can’t think of his name. And what if he comes up to me afterward? I can’t just say ‘hi there’ without including his name. How embarrassing.”
“Shush!” Margaret clasped her husband’s hand and put a finger to her lips. “Not now. It’s rude to talk during the meeting.”
“But think how rude it’ll be if I can’t remember his name. And it will be your fault for not helping me think of it.”
“All right, but keep your voice down and eyes straight ahead. I’ll start with the ‘A’ names, and you take it from there. Let me know when I hit
the right one. “Andrew. Alan. Ace. Anson. Aaron… ”
Margaret kept going, but John kept shaking his head all the way to the letter “H.”
“I’m done,” she murmured. “This is ridiculous. Just admit you forgot his name. After all you’re getting older—and so is he. He’ll understand.”
“No! Look, Margaret, this has always worked before. Put our two ‘half’ wits together, and we’ll be a complete wit! I mean… well, you know what I mean. We need each other.”
Margaret put her hands together and tightened her lips. She let out a long breath and turned to her husband. “Enough is enough!” she whispered loudly.
The woman in front of them turned around and frowned. “Cut it out, you two. Have a little respect. The president is speaking, and I’m hard of hearing.”
The president of the association finished his remarks and adjourned the meeting. John grabbed Margaret by her sleeve and pulled her toward the door. “Let’s get out of here!”
“We can’t. Look, here comes whatshisname. You have to face the music.”
“Hi, there,” the man said. “So good to see the two of you. It’s been a while. Have you been traveling?”
“No, we’ve been around. You know, here and there with kids and grandkids and stuff.” John’s palms were suddenly wet.
The man put a hand on John’s shoulder. “I’m really embarrassed to say this, but your name escapes me. Please forgive an old man.”
“No problem,” said John. “Happens to me sometimes too, doesn’t it, Margaret?”
Margaret rolled her eyes.
“John. My name’s John,” he said.
“Now that’s one for the books. Here we have the same name, and I can’t even keep that in my mind. I hope you’re doing better for your age than I am for mine!”
My Favorite Senior Moments Page 9