After three pirouettes, he charged towards my bed and launched us onto it.
Dizzy, I struggled to fix my gaze on anyone at all, but once my vision settled, I stared into Jon’s devilish grin. “Hello, pet. Long time no see.”
It was impossible not to laugh at the genuine humour in his eyes. “You absolute twat.”
Ruffling my hair, he proceeded to lie down beside me while he tucked his hands under his head. “We got sushi for you. Dinner’s served.”
“Oh. That was kind.”
“It was my idea,” Jason said proudly. “You’ve hardly eaten for the last couple of days. Don’t think I haven’t noticed. You barely touched my scrambled eggs this morning, and that’s unusual, to say the least.” If only he’d been aware that it was solely because the taste now reminded me of William and the morning in his flat.
“Everyone needs dinner, Cara,” Jon said strictly and ran a hand through his short, light brown hair in an attempt to tidy it.
“How’s living with Giselle?” I asked Stephen.
“It’s great. I’d forgotten how nice it is to have a female round the place. Everything smells wonderful all the time. Even the bathroom after I’ve had a shit.”
“Same,” Jason said and patted his shoulder. “Moving apart wasn’t all that bad after all. Cara keeps the place constantly clean. There’s hardly a speck of dust anywhere – ever.”
Amused, I smiled. “You clean just as much as I do.”
“Perhaps.”
“That he does,” Stephen agreed with a nod. “Then again, he’s been scared of germs since forever. Occupational hazard, I presume.” After a visual sweep of my bedroom, he directed his brown eyes to mine. “Love what you’ve done with the place. All I had in here was that closet, a desk for gaming, and a bed. I hardly recognise it.”
“Agreed. It’s strangely homey, but fashionably so,” Jon remarked and reached for one of my beige decorative pillows to tuck it under his head.
“The rug is a nice touch,” Stephen added and stepped forward to rub his foot against it. “Very soft.”
I said, “Thanks, I think.”
“Anyway, let’s eat,” Jason proposed. “I’m famished.”
§ § §
Poker night was being held at Alexander’s place, so the lads left at half six to be there by seven. Their friendly presence had helped me forget about William for a couple of hours, so the silence that ensued after their departure came as a bit of a shock. Suddenly, it was just me and my thoughts again, and for once, it wasn’t something I enjoyed. In an attempt to drown them out, I played music so loud that I couldn’t process a single word on the page as I tried to revise. Finally, I abandoned revising altogether and allowed the music to consume me instead.
In the darkness of my bedroom, I listened until my ears ached. Only then did I shut it off and decide it was time for bed. It was nearly midnight when I did, but I didn’t expect Jason home anytime soon, so sleep was my best option in the search for a distraction. As I closed my eyes, I hoped he would find his way into my bed instead of his own.
Though scarcely, I’d managed to catch some sleep when I suddenly woke to the sound of the front door being slammed shut. Harsh whispers followed, but I couldn’t distinguish the words.
Jason, I presumed, but he was evidently not alone. My pulse spiked when my thoughts settled on William. I hoped desperately that it was him because, if it was, I could force him to talk to me. Then again, I hardly dared to hope for it since I considered it highly unlikely that he would risk re-encountering me at all, especially so soon.
Pushing my duvet aside, I decided to find out. While slipping on my nightgown, I heard the subtle sounds of retching. Jason must have had too much to drink.
As quietly as I possibly could, I opened my bedroom door and saw light streaming out of the bathroom. The door was open, and once the sounds of vomiting settled somewhat, I heard Jason moan, “Shit, the world’s spinning so fast. Did I lose? I ought to go home.”
“Shush, be quiet. You’ll wake Cara.” My heart jolted at the sound of William’s authoritative voice. My prayers had been heard.
“Cara’s not here. She’s at home.”
“You are home, you fucking knobhead,” William whispered harshly. Under any other circumstances, that would have made me laugh, but William’s presence had made me apprehensive, so not a sound made its way out of my mouth.
“Really?” Jason queried, surprised. “Ah, yes, this is my beloved toilet, isn’t it?”
“Yes.”
“God, I’m so drunk.”
“You really are.”
“How come you never get plastered, Will?” Jason asked, his words slurred.
“I don’t enjoy being rendered powerless, nor helpless.”
“Damn. That’s deep. I’m the opposite.”
“That’s ’cause you’re fucking stupid.”
“Cunt.”
“Come on. Wash your mouth.”
Jason released a surge of loud laughter then.
“Why the hell are you laughing? Quiet down,” William urged quietly but aggressively.
“You’re telling me to wash my mouth ’cause I called you a cunt?” Jason replied.
“No, I’m telling you to wash your mouth because you’ve just vomited every meal from the past year.”
“Oh.”
“Fucking hell.”
After a deep breath for courage, I stepped out and approached the bathroom. The instant I entered the doorway, William glanced up to catch my reflection in the mirror. As soon as he registered my presence, his eyes frosted as though he’d just come upon an internal ice age, and it occurred to me that his forgiveness was far from my reach.
“Is he alright?” I asked him, but he was spared from having to answer when Jason noticed my arrival.
“Cara, my darling.” He smiled affectionately. “There are two of you now, but I love both of you equally,” he cooed, but I barely managed to understand him. “Double the love.”
“Christ,” I said. “Is there anything I can do?”
“No, go back to bed. I’ve got it,” William insisted.
“How come you got this drunk, Jason?” I asked.
“I was sabotaged. Stephen and Jon kept pouring and mixing my drink. All of a sudden, I was plastered.”
“Christ,” I repeated. “I should’ve anticipated this.”
William shoved Jason’s toothbrush into his hand while scolding, “When are you going to learn that you shouldn’t let them mix your drinks for you? This isn’t the first time this has happened, and I’m sick of being your voice of reason and getting completely ignored.”
Confused, Jason looked at him, and it was obvious from his expression that he was too intoxicated to comprehend what he was hearing. “You’re always so strict.”
“Only when you’re reckless,” William argued. “Cara, go to bed. He needs a shower.”
Disobeying, I waited outside the bathroom till they were finished, and William didn’t bother hiding his annoyance when he discovered me.
“I told you to go to bed,” he said, his irritation scorching, but his focus diverged when Jason proceeded to approach my bedroom.
“That’s not your bedroom, Jase,” William reminded him while grabbing his shoulder.
“I know. I want to sleep with Cara.”
Wide-eyed, my gaze darted to William’s, and the wrath it contained expelled my soul from my body.
“That’s not happening,” he growled and tugged Jason harshly in the other direction.
“What?” Jason uttered, nonplussed, and writhed his arm out of William’s hold. “The hell’s your problem, mate?”
“William, it’s fine,” I said. “He does it all the time – it’s only friendly,” I continued, as I hoped it would reassure him.
“She’s my friend,” J
ason reminded him impudently. “Not yours.”
William’s chest expanded with his deep breath, although it seemed to have no appeasing effect because antagonism continued to swell in his eyes. “Fine.” In the dim light, I saw his jaw clench and unclench repeatedly, and for a moment, it looked like he’d stopped breathing.
Jason gave him a snort before he zig-zagged towards my room, where he went straight to bed. As I went to close the door after him, William charged towards the front door, but I stopped him before he could pass me. I’d just managed to shut the door when I gripped his arm, and I was shocked at the way he thrashed my hand off him. Pure intimidation exploded in my chest when he faced me properly and stepped forward to trap me between his huge body and the door.
My heart was beating at a hundred miles per hour when I looked frightened into his blistering gaze. His breath reeked of alcohol. He had clearly seemed soberer than he actually was.
“You are to stay the fuck away from Jason,” he commanded chillingly. “Do you hear me?”
Colour drained from my face as I swallowed. “Of course.”
“I won’t let you get your claws into him as well,” he spat resentfully.
My breath caught at his abominable insinuation. Was that really his impression of me now? “I haven’t touched him – not like that. I’d never.”
He arched a brow to convey that he didn’t believe me in the slightest. “If you so much as try to lay a hand on him, I’ll tell him everything, and I’ll make sure he won’t appreciate you after that.”
His brutal threats brought unexpected tears to my eyes. I hadn’t thought him capable of such malice. He’d always been so kind.
“Of course, Will,” I said, and surprised myself with my calm tone, but I was desperately trying to deescalate the situation. “You have my word. I’ll never touch him like that.”
He glared at me for another while to assess my sincerity before he suddenly went for the door.
“William, I am sorry to have hurt you,” I called after him. He froze at once, hand lingering on the handle. Seeing a chance to speak, I added, “Will, I’m not your girlfriend. I’ve got to be allowed to do this sort of thing in my own home – and it’s not as if you haven’t been guilty of the same.”
He whirled around with a look of disdain. “What?”
“Yes.” I motioned towards him. “Francesca, Violet, Kate? How many are there, really?”
I tensed when he stalked towards me again. Halting only a foot away, he glared down at me. “For your information,” he seethed, “Kate is my ex, and I haven’t spoken to her in well over a year. As for Violet and Francesca, I haven’t seen them like that for weeks and had actually planned to end it with them because of you.”
My lips parted with shock. Since it was far from what I’d expected, it took me several seconds to conjure a reply. “I… I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Of course you didn’t. That’s precisely my point. Stop assuming you know anything at all.”
I gulped. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” After a brief while, his shoulders sank somewhat. Sensing that he was calming down, I dared say, “I don’t expect you to stop seeing them,” although I couldn’t deny that my greedy ego wished he would. “I don’t expect anything from you at all.”
Directing his gaze back to mine, he studied me for some time, and the vulnerability in his eyes made my heart contract. “Why are you like this?” he asked then, audibly upset.
I grimaced. “I tried to warn you.”
“You’re in love with him, aren’t you? With Aaron?”
His question beat the air out of my lungs. “What? No!” I asserted. Was that really what he inferred from this? “I’ve already told you, I—” He cut me off by clasping my head between his hands, and before I knew it, his warm mouth had moulded against my own. Instantly, my chest filled with delight as I rejoiced in the taste of him. Again, that uncanny sensation spread throughout my system to remind me that this was how a kiss was supposed to feel – entirely right.
When his tongue pushed past my lips for a dance with mine, he obliterated what remained of my self-control. Swinging my arms around his neck, I pressed myself against him and returned every ounce of his passion. Responding, he pinned me forcefully against the door to my bedroom, but I was so engaged in the moment that I cast caution to the wind and paid no attention to the fact that we might wake Jason.
Hungry in their movements, his large hands explored my curves, squeezing and stroking, leading lust of a whole new level to override my reason. As his hand moved to grasp my breast, I groaned into his mouth and pushed it deeper within his possession. His remaining hand trailed lower, skimming down my waistline until he gripped my nightgown to lift it. Sliding his hands across my bared flesh, he cupped my lower cheeks and proceeded to hoist me up. Trapped between his body and the door, I wrapped my legs around him and gasped when he suddenly thrust against me. His erection pressed straight against my bare entrance, and the sensation aroused me like no other.
At that moment, I caught myself wishing he wasn’t going to be my boss. I wished he wasn’t Jason’s brother, and for a second, I even wished I didn’t care about my ambitions at all.
But it was short-lived. All at once, I realised what I was doing and pulled abruptly away from his mouth.
“Fuck,” I uttered and stared at him. I nearly lost myself in his gaze. In the deep sea of his eyes, I was a hundred miles from shore. Though I tried to swim, the powerful waves pulled me further in. The deep beckoned. If I stared for too long, I knew I’d sink.
So I looked away.
Retreating a step, he said, “As I thought.”
His words struck me like a knife. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, upset, and felt tears prickle my eyes again.
Contempt poured from his. “Spare me,” he said and went for the door again.
“No, you misunderstand,” I urged. “I pulled away because I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Don’t patronise me,” he replied venomously.
“Please, listen to me. I can’t give you what you want, Will.”
He paused in front of the door, and the silence that elapsed seemed to last for infinities. “You can,” he eventually said and glanced at me over his shoulder. “You just won’t.”
Panicking, I rushed towards him to stall him from leaving. We couldn’t part like this. It was absolutely paramount that we settled this once and for all, because it was crucial that we maintained harmony, especially for Jason’s sake.
Once I reached him, I stepped in front of the door to prevent him from leaving. “Can we talk? When you’re sober?”
He refused to meet my gaze. “Have you got any idea how frustrating it is to feel injured by something when I have no right to feel that way?” he asked vehemently. “There is no satisfaction – just an everlasting state of limbo.”
To know that he felt that way led a single tear of mine to well over. “Perhaps if you allowed me to explain, you won’t feel that way anymore.”
He scoffed. “There’s nothing to say, is there?”
“No, there absolutely is. Please. Are you free tomorrow?”
His jaw clenched as he glared away.
“William, please,” I entreated.
“Fine,” he bit out.
Instant relief released me from my rigidity. “Thank you. I’ll message you when and where.”
He didn’t reply, nor did he give me the satisfaction of looking at me. Instead, he opened the door and forced me to step aside.
“I’m sorry,” I repeated before he could shut the door between us. Though briefly, he met my eyes through the gap, and the view burnt into my memory as one of the more painful things I’d experienced.
After his departure, I locked the door and remained immobile for several minutes, trying to calm myself. Now that I had privacy, my tears dema
nded to flow over, and I didn’t fight them. But they were silent tears – not so much as a sob escaped me.
I wasn’t sure how long I’d been standing there when I finally mustered the courage to return to my bedroom. For all I knew, Jason could have woken up and heard us. If he had, I’d have a lot of explaining to do, and I dreaded it. However, as soon as I opened the door, I found him comatose in my bed, dead to the world.
I puffed out a sigh of relief.
After snuggling up to his side, I closed my eyes and hoped William wouldn’t cancel our plans tomorrow morning. While I dreaded it, we desperately needed to talk. Perhaps then, he would finally understand that he’d do best to abandon the thought of me.
14
BITS AND PIECES
My circadian rhythm ensured that I woke no later than eight the following morning. I wasn’t too happy about that since I doubted William was awake yet, so now I had hours to spend wallowing in anxiety instead. On the bright side, I could use the time to consider what to say in depth. A list of bullet-points was not a bad idea, although I would use it only to memorise what to say so that no stone would be left unturned.
Sneaking carefully out of bed so as not to wake Jason, I grabbed my phone from my nightstand and went straight to the kitchen, where I started jotting down my thoughts in my Notes app. After an hour, my list was complete. The next step was to message William where and when to meet me.
I blew out my cheeks as I opened Instagram to find our message thread. He hadn’t been active for sixteen hours, so I reckoned he was still asleep. Nevertheless, I started typing, and I hoped he wouldn’t change his mind and decline.
‘Good morning. I hope you caught some decent rest. Farm Girl at one o’clock?’
After pressing Send, I went into the bathroom to get ready for the day. He still hadn’t seen it by the time I’d showered, dressed, and applied some makeup, but since it was only ten o’clock, I refrained from jumping to the worst conclusions. His active status informed me that he hadn’t checked his Instagram for seventeen hours now, so I doubted he was intentionally ignoring me.
Unsure of what to do with the rest of my time, I returned to the kitchen and thought I might as well cook a full English breakfast for Jason. I spent another hour on the task, so it was eleven o’clock by the time I walked into my bedroom to serve it to him.
Skin of the Night: Book One of The Night series Page 21