Skin of the Night: Book One of The Night series

by Claire D. Bennett

  I’d have to think of something to rectify this situation. Being in his audience was far too distracting – it was difficult to maintain a strict focus on work. So easily, my thoughts ventured into erotic fantasies about him. I could hardly look into his eyes without seeing the sizzling gaze he’d once trapped me with, when I’d been spread flat across his dining table.

  Groaning to myself, I decided I’d hit the gym straight after work. Perhaps blowing off some steam would quell my lust for him, at least for a while. Indeed, to tackle this, I would make the gym my go-to place for therapy in order to cure my anger and frustration with myself. I’d exhaust myself completely, to the point where I wouldn’t have energy left to spare for anything other than breathing.

  § § §

  Over lunch, I hardly shared a word with anyone. Violet tried to strike up a conversation with me, but I was dismissive in my replies because I was preoccupied with my thoughts. She didn’t seem offended, though, for which I was grateful, but then she didn’t strike me as the sensitive type either. Besides, while she was trying to talk to me, all I could think was that she might be trying to play me for a fool. I knew perfectly well that she had been, and perhaps still was, William’s regular partner, so I was suspicious of her friendliness. It was perfectly possible that her interest was innocent, but part of me wondered whether her curiosity was based solely on the fact that we had shared a man.

  Regardless, I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt, because there was something about her character that I found rather agreeable. Perhaps it was her assertiveness, or perhaps it was her intelligence. Either way, she had acquired my respect, so while I was dismissive, I was also polite about it.

  When Andy tried to get a word out of me, asking how things were going for me thus far, I had enough. So, after replying, I stood from my chair to declare that I wanted to get back to work.

  Dropping his fork, William nodded his head without looking at me. “I’ll come with.”

  “No, I’ll be fine,” I rushed to say, because I was eager for some space from him. “Please, enjoy the rest of your lunch.”

  He pushed his seat out. “I’m finished.”

  I cursed inwardly.

  § § §

  At half three, I attended the meeting that William had with our client Clifford Paints to go over the draft version of the NDA. Elisabeth had joined us for it to write the report, so I looked over her shoulder a lot while William discussed the specifics of the NDA. Fortunately, I managed to resist admiring him this time around and instead remained focused on what was being said. Once it concluded, it was nearly five o’clock, and I caught myself hoping that William wouldn’t ask me to stay longer to complete the report or polish the NDA. If he did, I considered whether to ask him if I could do it from home instead, as I was all too eager to depart from his presence and hit the gym.

  Shortly after William had seen our client out, he returned to the meeting room and answered my prayers by ordering Elisabeth to stay longer instead, but his strict tone surprised me. However, Elisabeth seemed unfazed, so I got the impression he frequently spoke to her that way.

  Curious, I decided to ask him, “How come Ellie puts up with your barking?” as we journeyed back to his office.

  Towering beside me, he scoffed. “I do not bark.”

  “You did just now.”

  “The appropriate thing to call it is delegating responsibilities.”

  I nodded. “While barking.” When I looked at him, I thought I detected a ghost of a smile on his mouth.

  He shook his head and opened the door to his office for me. “Call it what you want. She puts up with it because she knows I actually respect her. I’ve grown on her. Perhaps I’ll grow on you too.”

  Hearing that was the last straw. I did not want him to grow on me at all. Frankly, I wanted him as far away from me as possible. Losing my patience, I tactlessly replied, “I’d prefer cancer,” just as I passed him.

  I had not expected him to react the way he did, so a loud gasp stormed out of my mouth when he suddenly gripped my wrist to yank me back harshly. Colliding into him, I staggered back a step until the fury in his eyes rendered me paralysed.

  To reduce the distance between us, he lowered his head, and his glare contained such heat that my eyes were scorched.

  “Right,” he growled and slammed the door shut. “That’s enough. Talk to me. Now.” It was a command.

  Instantly nervous, my body turned rigid while a faint, “What?” poured out of my mouth. He stepped closer, eyes narrowing accusingly, and my heart responded by drumming the beats of a dramatic orchestra inside my chest.

  “Something’s clearly wrong,” he said. “You avoided me all of last week, and today you’ve hardly said a word – and when you do, you’re grumpy and rude.”

  His audacity extracted another gasp from my mouth. “Rude?” I echoed disbelievingly and twisted my wrist out of his grip. “I’m rude?” I’d reached the end of my tether. “Says the man who fucks a girl in his office and makes his colleague work there straight afterwards.”

  His reaction bewildered me. Not a single flicker of emotion crossed his face, and it made him impossible to understand. “There it is,” he said and folded his arms.

  “What is?” I bit out.

  “The reason. Why didn’t you tell me immediately?”

  My eyebrows arched. This conversation wasn’t heading in the direction I had anticipated at all. Nonplussed, I struggled to make sense of what to think. Since I had no idea how to respond, I was quiet for a moment, and he spent it patiently observing me.

  “Why didn’t I tell you?” I repeated his question to buy myself more time. “Well, if you would use the right head for once, perhaps you’d understand why.”

  He pressed his lips together upon my phrasing, and I suspected it was to hide a smile. “Enlighten me, then.”

  Agitated, I motioned towards him. “Are you being serious? Have you got any brain cells to speak of?” Or was it all just sperm?

  He shrugged. “Treat me like I don’t.”

  I gnashed my teeth. He was clearly determined to drag the words from my mouth. “I didn’t think it was my place to say anything, and I was worried you’d get the wrong impression if I did. Moreover, you’re my boss. In case you need your memory jogged, I’m brand new at this job, and I’m still trying to find my footing round here. Scolding my superior for his lack of work ethics isn’t exactly a tempting thing to do on my third day.”

  He nodded. “I’ll agree on one count, which is your remark about my lack of work ethics. But I’ll need you to elaborate on why you were worried that it would give me the wrong impression.”

  My cheeks boiled. Frowning, I broke contact with his eyes and clutched my computer to my chest to hide my unruly heart. “I didn’t want you to think that I was jealous because you’re seeing someone else, because I am not.”

  Since he didn’t immediately respond, I couldn’t resist glancing at him. When I did, I discovered him regarding me with a raised brow. His scepticism was obvious, and I hated it.

  “You’re lying,” he dared accuse.

  “I’m not,” I retorted defensively.

  He sighed. “You are. I wish you’d admit it. This is becoming ridiculous, Cara.”

  Appalled by his claim, I replied fiercely, “You’re utterly conceited. There’s nothing to admit.” Turning on my heel, I was about to approach his desk when he once again locked my wrist in his grip to make me face him.

  “Admit you were upset about it,” he demanded. “Not because you had to sit there but because you thought I was with someone else.”

  At first, my instinct was to refute it, but as I processed his phrasing, a single question left me stunned. “What?” I queried instead. “What do you mean when you say ‘thought’?”

  Releasing my wrist, he folded his arms and glared at me. “I mean exactly
that – you assumed.”

  My lips parted. “You didn’t have sex with her?” I questioned in my disbelief. I’d been so sure. Nothing else made sense. What else had they been doing? Even Elisabeth had thought they’d had sex.

  He shook his head. “No. I didn’t.”

  Several seconds elapsed while I tried to make sense of the facts. “But her hair,” I probed in my confusion. “The window, your lips….”

  He remained silent. The bright light of day reflected against the sharpness of his jaw, and I watched as it clenched and unclenched several times.

  The more I remembered the scene, the more severe my confusion became. “You even asked me to bring my computer with me, and the way you said it…”

  “You jumped to conclusions.”

  Mortified, blood drained from my face. “I… I’m so sorry.” Grimacing, I averted my eyes and scolded myself for having been so quick to assume the worst. I couldn’t believe I’d just accused my boss of something like this without any firm evidence whatsoever. What had gotten into me? “Please, forgive me. I don’t know what came over me. I…” I pressed my computer to my chest. “It won’t happen again.”

  We were quiet for some time. Eventually, a loud sigh travelled out of his mouth. “Please, don’t apologise. I’m the one who’s truly in the wrong here.”

  Nonplussed, I looked at him. “How?”

  Nervous, he unfolded his arms to run a hand through his hair. While avoiding my eyes, he said, “It was intentional.”

  Unsure of what he meant, I frowned. “I’m not sure I understand,” I said, but the instant after the words had left my mouth, the unlikely truth dawned on me. My eyes widened. “You did this on purpose?” I asked, shocked.

  “I…” His face contorted. “Sort of.”

  He didn’t dare so much as a glance in my direction while I stared at him, speechless. I’d always known he was cunning, but this was beyond anything I’d imagined. Frankly, to think he was capable of something so calculated and callous intimidated me immensely. If he were truly capable of orchestrating schemes like these, I would need to keep a much keener eye on him in the future.

  Still, while his method had been morally dubious, I harboured no doubt that he had done it solely to provoke a reaction in me. He’d been trying to trigger a sign of my affection. To a certain extent, the end could justify the means because of that. Ultimately, some part of me found it flattering. However, the larger part of me was distraught that he would allow himself to hurt me like that, especially deliberately. The idea that he was willing to manipulate me was completely abhorrent.

  “I’m sorry,” he said after a while, and I could both hear from his tone and see from his behaviour that he was upset at what he’d done.

  “You’re sorry?” I asked while my heart slowed. “What exactly are you sorry for, Will?”

  He grimaced, and his obvious shame prevented him from meeting my gaze. “For making you believe I was with someone else,” he mumbled, upset. “For letting you believe I did to her what I should only be doing to you.”

  I was far too appalled by what he had done to fall victim to his incidental declaration of devotion. Indeed, sympathy was miles from his reach right now. Instead, anger erupted in my chest. “You manipulated me,” I accused.

  He winced. “I know. I’m sorry.”

  “This is outrageous!”

  “Cara, I’m sorry. Please, forgive me. I’ve meant to correct your impression all day.”

  “All day!” I echoed, astounded. “You shouldn’t have had to in the first place!”

  He lost his bearings. “You gave me no choice!”

  My lips parted at his attempt to turn the tables. “You’re doing it again! How dare you? I won’t tolerate being manipulated like this! ‘Gave you no choice’ my fucking arse, Will! Piss off!” Furious, I stormed to his desk to pack my things. I didn’t want to spend another second in here.

  “Please, can we talk about this?” he entreated.

  My tone was saturated with venom when I caustically replied, “What – so you can try to manipulate me again?”

  He exhaled loudly. “Cara, please. I swear I won’t do something like that ever again.”

  Whipping my head around, I glowered at him. “Why the hell should I believe a word you’re saying?”

  When our eyes collided, a lump gathered in my throat, as I could see that his were shinier than usual. Tears were threatening. It was clearly a genuine reaction, and it stirred my sympathy somewhat, so I calmed.

  “Cara, I made a mistake – I know I did. I won’t repeat it. Please.” He grimaced. “What I did – it wasn’t premeditated. I just saw a chance and I took it. I was desperate to find out where you stand. It’s been a whole month since…”

  “I’ve told you a million times where I stand,” I replied impatiently.

  He looked so broken where he stood, eyes wide while he struggled to find a safe place to rest them. Quietly, he asked, “I just need to know – can you honestly say you haven’t got any feelings for me at all?”

  Since I hadn’t expected his question, my heart jumped to my throat. Quickly, I looked away to think. It was paramount that I considered my reply carefully. Pressing my lips together, I closed my bag and turned to face him. “William, it doesn’t matter whether I do or not. I’m not inclined to pursue a relationship with you – with anyone! I want to be single. As I’ve told you, I want to focus on my career and myself, at least for another couple of years.”

  He blew his cheeks out, and he looked about to explode with exasperation. “You don’t deny it, then.”

  I released a moan of despair. “William, you’re not listening to me. You’re focusing on the wrong thing. I’m not available. Yes, if I had been interested in a relationship, and if you hadn’t been Jason’s brother, and my boss, you’d be the man I’d want to try it with, but that’s not the case, and I’m begging you to acknowledge that.”

  He nodded repeatedly, but I could tell he was struggling to remain composed. Considerable stress radiated from his demeanour. With fleeting eyes, he asked, “So, you weren’t upset about Francesca?”

  Realising he required full transparency, I sighed to myself. It was obvious he wouldn’t let this go unless I explained the dissonance between my feelings and my convictions in depth. Grabbing my bag, I approached his figure by the door. Pain and panic poured from his eyes, and the sight cut into my chest like knives. A foot away from him, I halted, and it took me a moment before I decided to bite the bullet.

  “No, I was upset about Francesca,” I confessed. “I wasn’t jealous, but it hurt to think that you had moved on. However, that’s just my feelings, and I don’t intend to act on them. They’ll pass. They always do. Knowing that, I’ve been determined not to get in the way of you two. I’ve relinquished my claim on you, and I plan to respect that. So, if you mean to keep seeing her – and Violet, for that matter – you shouldn’t consider my feelings. I’ve no right to them, and I know that, so I wouldn’t dream of behaving as though I do. That said, I’d appreciate if you didn’t fuck them here, but aside from that, I won’t stand in your way. I’ve got no right to.”

  He sighed, and from his wandering gaze, I could tell he was despairing.

  “I want you to be happy, Will. You deserve a woman who recognises your worth and who wants to give you everything – someone who’s got space for you and who will put you first – someone who isn’t me.”

  Fixing his eyes on me, he looked at me as if I were the dawn when all he’d ever known was the dark of night. “But I don’t want anyone else.”

  My breath caught. I tried to swallow, but my throat was aching so terribly that it did little to ease the pain. “Perhaps if you actually gave Violet or Francesca a real chance, you would.”

  I didn’t think I’d heard him right when he disclosed, “I’ve already ended things with them both.”


  “What?” I breathed out. “Why? When?”

  He waved his hand in the air. “Violet about a month ago. Francesca a bit less. As it happens, Francesca showed up on Wednesday to beg me for a second chance.”

  Pity swam in my eyes when I tried to make contact with his, but from his behaviour, I got the feeling he couldn’t bear the sight of me. “You should have given it.”

  He shook his head. “No.”

  “You’re not mine, Will.”

  I stopped breathing when he suddenly raised his hand towards my face. Curling his index finger beneath my chin, he tilted my head back and captured my gaze completely. “But I am,” he asserted. His face didn’t even twitch. Unyielding, he stared fixedly at me.

  Disbelieving of what he had just said, my body started to tremble. Intense heat engulfed my cheeks, and when he saw it, a faint smile crowded his mouth, but there was sadness in it – wistfulness. His eyes travelled across my face to savour the pinkness, and after a while, his smile transitioned into the unsullied and crooked version that I often saw in my dreams.

  “I am open to something more only with you,” he professed, and hearing it expelled all air from my lungs. After everything I had just said, I struggled to fathom that he remained loyal to me.

  “Are you actually mad?” I asked, entirely overwhelmed.

  The sound of his miserable chuckle made my heart throb, but the emotion in his eyes nearly made it explode. “All the best ones are,” he replied, and the reference to one of my favourite classics from childhood left a coy smile on my mouth. I’d told him that Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland had a special place in my heart during our lunch at Farm Girl in May, and I was charmed he still remembered.

  “I should go,” I said.

  He brushed his thumb across my cheek before withdrawing his hand, and the absence of his touch had never felt more noticeable. “Before you do, will you forgive me?”