You’re going to rock it.
Mrs. Banks
“She liked it?” Collin took the phone out of my hands and reread the message himself, his wide eyes darting back and forth across the screen as a grin grew on his face. “She liked it!”
“We did it!” I jumped up and threw my arms around his neck.
His arms wrapped around my back and I closed my eyes, enjoying just a little too much the way he held me so tight.
“Three weeks to go,” he said in a gruff voice.
“Three weeks.” I leaned back to look him in the eye. “Think we’ll be ready?”
“Are you kidding?” Confidence sparked in his eyes and he smirked. “We’ve already got this wrapped up. This is going to be our moment.”
I felt an overwhelming sense of satisfaction. He was right, this was going to be our moment. I would show the world that I was more than just a push-over without a voice and he was going to show that he was more than just some jock. We were going to nail this.
“You know, there’s just one thing I regret about this whole situation,” Collin added, looking down at me with an expression that made my stomach tilt.
“What?”
He leaned toward me and brushed his fingertips along my neck, eliciting another shiver that went all the way to my toes. “Guess this means we won’t be needing any more...um...private sessions, if you know what I mean.”
I knew exactly what he meant. And the way he was looking at my lips made me wish we hadn’t read Mrs. Banks’ email.
We’d told each other that kiss wasn’t going to change anything. That we’d still just be singing partners. But I couldn’t deny the fact that every fiber in my body wanted to kiss Collin again. The boy who couldn’t fall in love.
I was seriously in trouble.
Chapter Eighteen
The last chord on my guitar rang out loud, like the gong of a victory bell, as my eyes fell on Collin. His hair had fallen onto his forehead, making him look every bit like a Calvin Klein model, and he had his intense gaze trained on me. Excitement jolted through my torso. I couldn’t be sure if it was because of him, or the fact that we were so close to perfection. Nearly everything was falling into place — except for the fact that I couldn’t look at my singing partner without melting.
“It’s really starting to sound amazing, guys,” Ally squealed as she clapped her hands, causing Collin to break his gaze away from mine.
We sat in their backyard, nailing down the harmony for our song. I had to agree with Ally, it was sounding amazing. Like really amazing. Collin had managed to get some guys in band to lay down the percussion and bass line on a track he played from his laptop. We each had our guitars. All of that, combined with our voices, was forming an incredible sound.
I tried not to stare all starry-eyed at Collin as he set down his guitar, leaned back against the base of an old oak tree, and interlaced his fingers behind his head. He was grinning in a self-satisfied way that made it hard for me to look away.
“I think I’m ready to retire from football now,” he said. “Go pro in music.”
“Nah, you’d miss it too much,” Ally replied, sitting cross-legged on the grass in front of him. “I know you get a kick out of winning those games.”
“It’s true.” He sighed and looked over at me. “Hey Audrey, think I can become the world’s first Grammy winning professional football player?”
Honestly, I was convinced he could do anything he wanted. “Sure, but don’t forget me when you become all rich and famous.”
“Never.” He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “You’ll be right beside me, accepting that Grammy, too. It’s going to happen, just you wait and see.”
I smiled and felt a little too pleased at Collin’s depiction of the future. That was everything I’d ever wanted. Collin and I made great music together. We could conquer the world, if only I could get over the way my body reacted whenever he was around.
I’d spent hours last night tossing and turning in my bed, trying to make sense of this thing between us. I’d come to the solid conclusion that what Collin and I had was purely physical.
We’d kissed and it had been utterly amazing. There was no doubting that. And no one could blame me for feeling that way, especially if they knew how charming and gorgeous he was. But that was it. Just a physical attraction between friends. A harmless flirtation. End of story.
“Ally?” Gina stuck her head out the back door and waved at us. “Don’t forget, it’s your turn to help Tripp with supper tonight.”
“Got to go, guys,” Ally said, jumping to her feet. “You don’t want to know how Tripp makes stroganoff without one of us there to guide him. Last time I wasn’t quick enough, he put beets in the sauce.” She shivered and made a face before turning to me. “You’re staying for dinner, right, Audrey?”
I smiled. Staying over at Collin’s house for dinner was becoming a nightly routine. Mom didn’t seem to mind too much. She knew we were getting into crunch time with our song. “Wouldn’t miss it.”
Ally ran off, leaving Collin and me all alone. I let my gaze wander toward him, where I found him staring at me. My stomach jolted again and I pressed a hand against it to chase away the odd feeling. If it were possible for Collin to blush, his cheeks turned the slightest shade of red and he turned away to examine the screen of his laptop sitting open in front of him.
“I think that’s good enough for tonight,” he said, closing the laptop.
I nodded and picked up my guitar to put it away. “Back at it tomorrow?”
“Oh, sorry, I can’t.” He rubbed a hand over his chin and winced. “I have visitation with my dad. He’s taking me to eat at Applebees. Told me he has some big news. I think he finally got that promotion at the garage.”
In all of our time together, Collin hadn’t spoken much about his dad. I knew it was a sore spot, but I couldn’t help but ask him about it.
“Do you see your dad a lot?”
His lips quirked in a smirk. “More, now that he’s out of rehab and working. I didn’t see him for an entire year before that. The courts tried to get him to give up custody of me, but he never would. He promised my mom before she died that he wouldn’t let them take me. So, I guess he’s trying to clean up his act now.”
I set my guitar back down and stared at the ground. That was a lot for me to unpack. I hadn’t realized that Collin had been stuck in such a weird limbo. His father had left, but didn’t want to give him up. And now he was back.
“Do you want to live with him?” I asked, shredding a blade of grass in my hands.
“Yes, and no.” He looked up at the darkening sky. “Tripp and Gina are amazing. They’re my family. But Dad is my blood. He might not have always been there for me growing up, but he’s the guy that shares my DNA. How am I supposed to choose between them?”
It was a good question. One that I didn’t have an answer to.
“I’m not sure. It’s just that I see you here, and you’re thriving. You’re a starting player on the varsity football team, you’re getting good grades, you’re working with me on a song for the centennial event. You’ve got siblings and foster parents who care for you. You seem happy. I can’t imagine you anyplace but here.”
He turned his gaze toward me and frowned. “You’re right. I am happy here. But that doesn’t mean I couldn’t be happy with him.”
“True.” I shrugged. “Maybe you just have to figure out what works best for you. Not for your dad.”
He nodded and cleared his throat, his eyes becoming red. “You’re right, but it’s just so hard. Sometimes I feel like I owe him, you know? I mean, they took me away after Mom passed. I wasn’t around when he was struggling with the drinking. Maybe if I’d been there, I could’ve helped him.”
It tore my heart to pieces, seeing him beat himself up. I scooted closer to him, grabbed his hand, and held it tight. “You were a kid, Collin. You couldn’t have done anything. Just like I couldn’t have stopped my parents’
divorce. They make their choices and we’re left dealing with the crappy consequences.”
“Right.” He blinked hard and squeezed my hand. “I just get scared sometimes thinking about how different my life would’ve been. I probably wouldn’t be going to Rock Valley High. Probably wouldn’t have been playing football. And worst of all, I wouldn’t have met you.”
He met my gaze, his eyes dark with emotion. My heart fluttered and I had to force myself to breathe normally. The possibility of never having met Collin was not one I wanted to think about in that moment. In a few short weeks, I’d gone from thinking he was just a jerk to needing him in my life.
“Well, I’m glad you’re here,” I said, swallowing down the lump in my throat. “And you’re not going anywhere anytime soon.”
“Yeah.” A muscle in his jaw twitched and he looked down at our joined hands. “Me, too.”
Silence fell heavy between us. And as it stretched on, he began to move his thumb in a tantalizingly slow circle on the top of my hand, sending sparks up my skin. I stared at our hands, unblinking. He had no idea how much a tiny touch like that affected me. Warmed me.
“How’s the thing with your dad?” he asked softly, breaking the quiet.
My lips turned down into a sour expression. “He wants to see me, but I still can’t stand the sight of him.”
“He hurt you. It makes sense.”
“He did more than hurt me.” I pushed my curls out of my face with my free hand. “He destroyed our family. Nearly killed my mom. And for what? To marry some woman he’d only known for a year? And now I’m left to pick up the pieces. I just can’t forgive him for that.”
Collin’s thumb continued stroking my hand, soothing the anger that had sparked up inside me. “He doesn’t deserve you. And your mom deserves better.”
“Yes, she really does.” I leaned my shoulder into him, craving more of his support to keep the tears at the corners of my eyes from falling. “She holds it together around us, but I know she’s sad. I hate it. I thought me joining the cheerleading squad would give her something to be happy about, but I don’t know if it’s working anymore.”
He made a disapproving noise. “Is that why you let Savannah treat you like crap?”
“Pretty much.” I closed my eyes against the disappointment. “I don’t know why she hates me. It’s been that way for years. But it’s a small price to pay. My mom was on the cheerleading team when she was in high school. You should hear her talk about it. They were some of her best memories. I want to give those back to her. Make her remember the better times.”
He nodded, running his tongue slowly over his bottom lip. “Personally, I’d like to see you stick it to Savannah one of these days. That would make me happy.”
I laughed, remembering the tension between them this summer. “What did you do to her anyway? She must hate you, or else she wouldn’t have dared you to kiss me at the beach party.”
He shifted his seat and chuckled softly. “She hit on me at Nick’s party last summer. I told her that she was drunk and I didn’t want to go there, but she got mad and called me a chicken. Told me I wasn’t a man.”
I felt my eyebrows nearly disappear into my hairline. A boy had turned down Savannah? The world must’ve tilted on its axis that day. Earthquakes and volcanoes must’ve erupted on the other side of the planet.
It was particularly nice to know that it was Collin who’d turned her down. I’d really misread him before we were partnered. He was a decent guy. A guy who didn’t take advantage of a girl when she was in a vulnerable situation.
“I have to say, the fact that you turned her down kind of makes me feel a million times better. Does that make me an awful person?”
He looked down at me with a serious expression. “Audrey, you couldn’t be awful even if you wanted to.”
My cheeks heated and I wondered what else Collin thought of me. But before I could ask, the backdoor slid open and Collin quickly released my hand. Ally poked her head out the door and blinked at us in the darkening backyard.
“Come on in, guys. Dinner’s ready. If you don’t move fast, Peter’s going to eat all of the bread rolls himself.”
We smiled at each other before grabbing our guitars and Collin’s laptop. All the time, my heart rang out like a timpani in my chest. Collin was so sweet. So good. I couldn’t blame his dad for wanting him back. He was so much more than the boxes we forced ourselves into at high school. He was a talented musician, an athlete, a wonderful friend and son.
And despite all the lies I had told myself, he was the boy I was falling for.
Chapter Nineteen
I was livid — fuming mad — and about ready to kick Rascal the Bandit’s head through the nearby goal posts. Dad was here, at Collin’s football game. Again. Although this time he’d had the good sense to leave the new wife at home. I’d spotted him sitting in the stands next to Lexi while I did a routine with the other cheerleaders at the beginning of the game, my whole body tightening with anger. He couldn’t just show up at my game and act like everything was okay again.
“I need a minute,” I hissed to Savannah before they went into the next cheer.
“What? No, you can’t leave.” Her red painted lips curled back into a snarl as she waved her pom poms. “We’re still in formation.”
“I’ll be back.”
I turned to walk off the field. She could try and stop me, but I seriously doubted that she wanted to tackle a human-sized raccoon in front of a few hundred people. And I was right. She didn’t follow me. As I marched off the sidelines, toward the stadium seating, I thought about all the words I was going to say to my father. How I was going to get him to leave. Immediately.
Before Mom got here.
Where was Collin and his intimating stance when I needed him? Too bad he was already on the field, kicking butt, and looking utterly gorgeous in his football uniform. Why did those uniforms have to be so tight? It was like cat nip for teenaged girls.
“Hey kiddo, where you going?”
I froze, recognizing my mom’s voice. Too late.
“Mom?” I turned to look at her through the mesh of the mascot head. “You’re here.”
She gave me an amused smile. “I’m here. Just like I always am. Got to support my baby girl. By the way, have you seen your sister? I told her she could have some money for concessions.”
“She’s not here,” I spat out. I had no idea how I was going to get Dad out of here before Mom noticed, but I was going to try. “She’s probably still up at the school. I think she had some after-school project.”
“Right.” Mom nodded and moved to step around me. “I’d better go grab my seat before I get you in trouble for talking.”
“No!” I jumped in her path, nearly knocking her Dolce and Gabbana purse off her shoulder. “You can’t.”
She narrowed her eyes at me. “Why not?”
“Because...” I looked around, trying to think of a good excuse. “Because you need a hotdog. They’re so good. And you look hungry.”
She glanced over her shoulder at the concession stand and pursed her lips. “That does sound good...”
“Right. So go get one for yourself.” I laughed nervously. “Before they’re all sold out. Because you know Principle Styles. He loves his hot dogs. He can’t get enough. He’ll eat them all. And you’ll be stuck with stale popcorn. Nobody likes stale popcorn. Only ducks. And you’re not a duck.”
What was I doing? Rambling, that’s what I was doing. And my mom could see right through it. Suspicion had already clouded her eyes. She peered into my mask and frowned.
“Okay, Audrey. Give it up. What are you trying to hide?”
I sighed and threw my chin up. No point in trying to hide it anymore. Grabbing her arm, I pulled her behind me until we were under the stands and away from prying eyes. Taking off my mascot head and setting it on the ground, I breathed in the fresh air and let my lungs clear.
“Dad’s here,” I said, making a face at her. “I was going t
o get him to leave before you saw him.”
“Why would you do that?” Mom drew back her chin. “I was the one who invited him. He wanted to see you perform.”
My jaw dropped to my chest. What had she been thinking? How could she be okay with that? I sputtered out a reply, feeling utterly unable to control my tongue.
“B-b-but why would you do that?”
“Because he’s still your father,” she said firmly, her jaw tightening. “And this has gone on long enough. You two used to be so close. I don’t want you to lose that.”
I wrapped my arms around my stomach and huffed. She didn’t get to say when enough was enough. I was old enough to make up my own mind.
She placed a hand on my arm and her gaze softened. “Audrey, I know you’re still mad at him, and that’s okay. But you don’t get to completely cut him out of your life. In time, I think you’ll be grateful that you didn’t.”
There was no use arguing. Not when Savannah could come prowling around the corner any minute now, snarling and snapping at me for leaving the field during the middle of a routine. So I picked up my mascot head and sucked in my cheeks.
“Fine. He can watch, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to talk to him. Or even acknowledge his existence.”
Mom nodded. “That’s fine. Baby steps.”
More like inch worm steps.
“Go, get out there.” Mom swatted me gently on the shoulder. “After I get that hotdog, I want to see what that boy of yours can do on the field.”
I moaned. “Mom, he’s not my boy.”
“Right. Keep telling yourself that.” She winked and walked away.
Mom might have thought she was helping, but her words only made me hurt. Collin wasn’t my boy. He definitely wasn’t my boyfriend. There was a huge gulf between us. An impassable one that would never be breached, despite my growing feelings for him.
He’d texted me last night after his dinner at Applebee’s with his dad. Said he had something he needed to tell me after the game. In person. My head had been reeling after that text, but I wouldn’t let myself hope that things had changed. It was too much to wish for. But maybe, just maybe, what he wanted to tell me was something amazing.
Dare You to Kiss the Quarterback (Rock Valley High Book 1) Page 13