by Ava Danielle
“I don’t know what to pack.” I dig my suitcase from under my bed.
“For starters, we’re going to pack our clothes and just head out. I’ll have Trevor come by the apartment and pack all your belongings and send them to wherever we’re going next.”
“And where would that be?”
“The possibilities are endless.”
“Greece,” I say as I pack up all my bathroom items.
“Did you say Greece?” Daniel stands in the doorframe watching me.
“Yeah. Why not? No one would expect us to go there. We could take a minute to enjoy the sites and see where we go from there.”
“Sounds like a plan. I’ll book us a flight now.”
“Perfect.” I lean in and kiss his lips as I squeeze by him to put my makeup bag in the suitcase.
“Anywhere specific in Greece?” he asks as I see him messing around on his phone.
“Surprise me.”
– ### –
After he booked us a ticket and we’re all packed, we pull the suitcases to the front door and wait for the taxi to arrive. I look around one last time, trying to take in all the good moments I did have here; our first time in my bed, the many times I’ve cursed at my toilet, and the dripping ceiling. Or the time the faucet in the kitchen exploded on me and all the water drenched my shirt. All the times I sat on the couch crying for a man in my life because I felt lonely. But what I will miss most is my mandolin man. His sounds are embedded into the back of my mind. I won’t forget him, and I will always cherish Daniel and me dancing in the middle of the street.
There’s a knock on the door. “Taxi is here,” I say as I start to roll the suitcase towards the door Daniel is opening.
“Going somewhere?” a familiar voice asks.
If anything else, this is the time to lie, this is the time I put my actress face on and smile and pretend more than I ever have in my life.
How easy is it to fake a smile? Real easy when it’s towards someone you suddenly despise… someone that stabbed you in the back by pretending to be your friend. If that someone suddenly reaches out to you after you found out some dark secrets, but you don’t want them to know you know, that’s when you put on your fakest smile and pretend that everything is just fine, when in fact, you want to strangle the bitch. But you don’t want to give that away just yet, because there’s something much bigger to follow.
“Hi Katherine,” I say as I hold the suitcase back, “we’re actually taking a short little trip. Daniel surprised me.” I lean in and put my head on his shoulder.
“Oh, really? That’s so nice. Where are you guys going?”
“Actually, Katherine, it’s a surprise and don’t want Sophia to know until we get there,” Daniel interrupts.
“That’s so nice of you, I’m jealous. Well I was going to run something by you, but I guess it can wait,” Katherine says as she looks around my apartment.
She seems to be looking for something out of place, but having Trevor come and pack up the apartment was a really smart idea. Nothing looks out of place; nothing makes it appear we’re forever leaving Sorrento. Nothing seems like we’re revealing a truth that everyone has tried to keep hidden.
“I’ll text you when we get back, give Francesco my best, and we’ll see you when we return,” I make a mental note to block Katherine from all my social media. I don’t post much, but whenever I do, I don’t want her to find anything out.
“Sounds great, you two have fun, just not too much.” She winks as she leaves the apartment.
“Whew, that was close,” I whisper as we close the door.
There’s another knock. Daniel and I both stare at each other in horror. By everything that is holy, let it be the taxi driver. And much to my relief, the taxi driver stands there waiting for us to head out. I lock the apartment door as Daniel rolls the suitcases down to the car. That’s it, one last look and one quiet goodbye. This was my escape that didn’t last long. This was my home away from home. It’s time for us to find a new home away from home, that’s, truly, away from home. See what I did there?
“You think we’ll ever come back to Italy?” I ask Daniel as I look out of the window of the taxi.
“I do. We have to get married here.” He squeezes my hand tight.
“Why?”
“Because we met here, our love started here, we became us here, and our story started here.”
“Such a romantic.” I tickle him.
“I try.” He sticks his tongue out at me. “You’re going to love where we’re going.”
“Oh yeah? Where are we going?”
“Santorini,” he smiles.
“Seriously? It’s absolutely gorgeous there.” I do get a bit excited.
“I called Trevor, he’ll be by the apartment over the weekend and will pack everything up. He’s arranging a moving company and putting everything in storage in Las Vegas for now.”
“Hmm,” I utter.
“Not a good idea?” he looks worried.
“No, it’s fine. It just feels so final now.”
“I know. But I promise one day all this will be behind us and we’ll be settled down.”
“I honestly can’t wait for that day,” I sigh as I look out the window.
“I love you, babe.” he wraps his arms around me to assure me everything will be fine.
But will it? Will this nightmare ever end? I thought it was over once he was behind bars. That’s before I realized he was a lunatic that was still after me even from prison. I never cared for the man, I never was going to care for the man, and that sent him over the edge. That made Ryan crazy. It’s not that he wasn’t a bit off during high school, but I didn’t realize that he had stalker tendencies or that he was so obsessed with me, he let it control his life. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if he had a shrine of me in his room while we were growing up.
– ### –
While sitting on the plane, Daniel is asleep next to me, these few days have taken a toll on him, I think about Ryan. I’m trying to put the pieces together. Ryan has an older brother, Rob. They never mentioned a stepsister. Maybe she came in the picture after I left Seattle. It’s been about two years now since everything happened, and before that I’d been gone a few years.
My mother never mentioned Ryan’s parents splitting up, but maybe because she knew I wasn’t very keen on the subject. Or, maybe it was because she never cared to talk about anything other than Lori. Maybe Lori has something to do with this too? Then there’s the fact that Mr. Ellison, my employer, is in cahoots with this. It just doesn’t make any sense. Why does any well-achieved doctor try to help someone kill his nanny? And, does his wife know? Does Mrs. Ellison know what might have happened to me? All this time I thought they understood my situation when everything was happening. Does Francesco know that his girlfriend, the one he was planning to propose to, is in love with a killer? Well, he didn’t kill yet; guess we should call him a psycho stalker instead. I wonder who else has a part in all this.
I never would’ve imagined having to leave Sorrento and my little apartment. It’s going to take some time to get used to. I’m not even sure where to start and how to get past all this. But I’m glad to have Daniel by my side, because since that first phone call, he’s managed everything and took care of our next steps. Without even asking him, he’s taking full control. Seriously, without him, where would I be?
“Earth to Sophia, are you listening?”
“What?”
“I’ve been trying to get your attention for the last few minutes, what would you like for dinner?”
“Nothing.”
“You have to eat something,” he begs.
“No I don’t.”
“Yes you do.”
“When’d you become my dad?” I ask irritably.
“I’m just worried about you.” He tries to hug me but I slide away.
“I’m sorry. I just don’t know how to handle all this.”
“After we eat, we’ll sit down and see w
here to go from here.” His voice comforts me.
I don’t know where to go from here, but I’m mad. I’m actually livid, because for once, I don’t know which way to turn or how to even turn. I want to storm into the prison, give Ryan a piece of my mind, and move on. Well, also punch him. Then again, I don’t want to sit behind the bars with him because I lost my temper. I’m better than that. That fucker doesn’t deserve my attention, after the way he destroyed my life. Ryan brings out the worst in me.
“We can’t just start a new life here,” I say, sadly.
“Says who? Would you rather go back to the states and start there?”
“I don’t know where I’d rather be. I feel homeless, Daniel. I feel like I’m not safe anywhere. I can’t even settle down anywhere.”
A text message appears on my phone when Daniel reads it out loud, “YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CAN’T HIDE.”
“How original,” I laugh.
“It’s time to call your lawyer and see what to do.” He hands me the phone.” Or, would you prefer I talk to him?”
I look at my phone; back up at Daniel, tears are flooding down my face. “Here goes nothing.”
My lawyer advised me to stay where we are. He will talk to Ryan tomorrow and is preparing to hire a PI to look into all the details. I feel a little better knowing that there are some people in my corner. That will help me make it through this.
“Now I can eat,” I tell Daniel as I walk out of the bedroom of the suite.
“Good, let’s go downstairs to the restaurant and indulge in some gyros and tzatziki.”
“Sure, whatever you just said, I’m down.”
Daniel laughs at me as he grabs my hand and leads me out of the suit. While waiting on the elevator, he pushes me into the wall. His hands on each side of my head placed against the wall, I feel his warm breath hit my face. He’s close, but not close enough to kiss me. I feel him lean in further and further, his eyes never leaving mine. His soft lips meet mine while his eyes are still focused on mine. I never blink. I stopped breathing. With every kiss I receive from him, I feel closer and closer to him. The paranoia is lessening.
DING
We’re interrupted by the elevator and people walking past us. I don’t know if they are staring at us or not. He’s still close to me, still looking into my eyes. I see something in his deep brown, loving gaze while I lose myself in him. I see safety. I see comfort. I see my forever in his eyes.
“Yes,” I whisper.
With a crooked smile, after one soft kiss, he pulls back. Our hands intertwined as we walk into the elevator. With only that stare and those soft kisses, I just promised him forever. I just gave myself to him, wholly and completely. And he knows exactly what I mean by that.
While eating dinner, we discuss our next plan, but we’re going in circles. I wish this was a dream, or a book, where money wasn’t the issue, but that’s not the case. We’re two Americans, in Greece, with no jobs or prospect of the future.
“As much as I like it here, Daniel, I think we need to go back to the states.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Uh, in case you hadn’t noticed, we don’t have a job and at one point, our savings are going to run out. Besides, this is my problem. I brought this upon us, so I think we should go back home and figure out something else,” I’m sad.
“First of all, you didn’t bring me into anything. Secondly, I’ll always figure out a way to support us. We’re engaged after all.” He smiles.
“Engaged? When did that happen?”
“At the elevators, you don’t remember?”
“You’re going to call that a proposal?”
“Fuck yes I am. How many people can say they got engaged by a kiss?” He winks at me.
“So, we’re fiancés’ now?” This is pleasantly surprising news.
“We sure are. So fiancé, I’ll take care of us, don’t worry.”
Am I really engaged? I should feel happy, right? But I feel nothing but concern at the moment. I love him, oh god do I love him. But, what kind of future do we have? I’m paranoid all the fucking time now. I’m worried. I’m not sure what my dreams are, anymore. A few years ago I started out at the beach. Life was great. I had a great job. I had my home. I had everything I thought I wanted. Then, I met Daniel and I lived in this fantasy world. But now, I’m here unsure of what’s going to happen. My life is shattered into pieces and I’m not sure what piece to pick up first. I’m not even sure if they can be glued back together.
“I’m not worried, I believe you,” I lie.
“We’ll sleep on it tonight, we’ll check out the city a bit tomorrow, and then we’ll fly out and go to Vegas.”
“Why Vegas?”
“That’s where I have an apartment. That’s where your furniture is going. And, because I don’t want us near Seattle. I thought Vegas would be our safest bet.”
“True,” I say as I take the glass of wine we had ordered and clink his glass.
Sleep is a great thing. Sleep is an even greater thing when it’s not interrupted; when you can sleep through the night like a baby. With the warm blanket over your body and the person you love beside you; you’re off in dreamland. It’s one of the best feelings in the world… when you’re not disturbed or woken up by the phone. When that phone rings, fear hits you like a freight train. You’re scared to know who’s on the other end. You’re terrified of what they might say. You fear death in the family, a threat, anything. Yet, the curiosity gets to you and you push your fear aside. So instead of letting it ring, I pick up. But what I hear on the other line was, as I feared, something I don’t want to hear. It is something I shouldn’t have to hear. But, it makes me happy, in a macabre sort of way. It also saddens me. I am relieved, but speechless, I had no words.
I drop the phone, and I sit and stare at the wall. I can’t believe it.
“What’s wrong babe?”
“He called me back,” I say.
“Ryan did? That piece of shit. What’d he say?”
“Not Ryan.”
“Who?” Ryan sits up next to me and holds me tight.
“The lawyer,” I mumble.
“What’d he say and why did he call at this hour?”
“To tell me the bad news,” I take a deep breath.
“What bad news?”
I can’t find the words.
“Babe, what bad news? You’re talking in riddles.”
“He’s dead,” I finally utter.
“Dead? Who’s dead?”
“He is.”
“Sophia. Who? Who’s dead?”
“Ryan.”
“Ryan? He’s dead?” Daniel has disbelief in his voice.
“Yeah. Hung himself.”
“This is a joke right? Were you dreaming?”
“Was I dreaming? That’s what you think?”
“Sorry, that’s not what I meant. I just can’t believe it.” He rubs his hands through his hair.
“I can’t believe it either, babe. I’m not sure how to feel. I’m overwhelmed.” I feel every emotion. I’m elated this problem is dissolving. I’m depressed another life has been ended. I’m angry it wasn’t me that killed the son of a bitch.
Daniel jumps off the bed and heads towards the bathroom, saying, “It’s finally over honey, we can move forward now.”
This nightmare is over. It’s all behind me now. Ryan is out of my life, forever. Death will do that. He’s no longer a threat to me. My paranoia returns, reminding me this could just be the beginning of something worse. He had so many people in his corner, he had so many people spying and helping him. What if they all come after me now? Their ‘boss’ is dead. Who’s to say they won’t finish what he started? I can’t imagine Katherine showing up at my doorstep. I can’t trust her, though. I know that much.
After few hours of sleep, I wake up feeling somewhat refreshed and ready to put my past behind me. I get out of bed and head to the bathroom. I take a good look at myself in the mirror. I’ve changed. On the inside, I�
��m no longer the same. I decide I need a drastic change to reflect my change. My silky blonde hair has grown. It has grown a lot. And the thought of chopping it all off has me excited. My elation over Ryan’s death has settled in. I don’t like myself for feeling happy about a death. I no longer feel like I deserve long pretty hair. I should look like the horrible person I have become. I don’t deserve any hair. I pull a pair of scissors from my cosmetic bag and start chopping off my hair. Handful by handful, I cut the beauty from my soul.
“What are you doing? Stop it!” Daniel shouts.
“I don’t like it anymore. I don’t like me anymore.” I sob, as tears begin gushing over my cheeks.
Daniel pulls the scissors from my hand and stares at my hair through the mirror. He’s behind me with a sad, almost disappointed, look on his face.
“How short?”
“All of it,” I say.
“No babe, not all of it, how short?” I can hear that he’s getting angry.
“I don’t want to look pretty anymore. I don’t want to be me anymore, just cut it all off.”
“Honey, stop it. You’re beautiful and you’ll always be beautiful to me. No one else matters. It’s you and me, babe. Together we’ll make it through everything. You know that. And, cutting your hair off isn’t going to change anything.”
“It’ll change me!” I argue back.
“You’re not the one that needs to change, you’re perfect!” He argues back. “So, how short? Here?” He holds up parts of my hair.
Unsure, I shake my head.
“Okay,” he starts to cut. I watch him through the mirror and notice a hint of a smile on his face. “Why are you smiling?”
“Am I?”
“It looks it.”