Sarah smiled at the memory. “It worked, too. That was the first time he saw me as anything but a pesky younger sister. But he’s half a continent away now. What can I do?” Tears started into her eyes, and she brushed them away angrily.
William stood up. “I don’t know the answer, but I’m sure God will tell you if you’ll listen.” He patted the top of her head and turned to walk back to the house.
Sarah was barely aware of his departure as a seed of an idea began to take shape. I could follow Rand! She almost gasped aloud at the daring thought. Women went west all the time. She could take a train to rail’s end in Omaha. Surely there would be a stage or a wagon train she could catch on to Fort Leavenworth. Amelia said Jacob had told her Rand would be there until spring came. Maybe then Rand would realize how much she loved him and she could talk him into coming back home. Just for a while, of course. Just until Papa didn’t need her. Of course, he wasn’t dying now. He was very sick, though. But with Rand around to talk to, he’d soon recover his spirits.
But could she do it alone? What about the rough men one encountered on the frontier? She wouldn’t have a protector. She smiled then. Yes, she would. God would go with her.
She spent the next two hours in feverish plans. She wished she had a pencil and paper to make a list of what she wanted to take. How long did it take to get to Fort Leavenworth, anyway? But it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered except finding Rand and persuading him to come home where he belonged. She almost skipped as she hurried back to the house to begin packing. God would work everything out.
When she reached the front yard she heard shouts and almost collided with Wade as he rushed through the door. “What is it?” She blocked his path and clutched his burly arm.
He shook off her grip angrily. “It’s Pa. I hope you’re satisfied. You’ve finally managed to kill him! I’m going after Doc.” He glared at her one last time before continuing his headlong flight to the barn.
Her heart in her throat, Sarah ran into the house and found Rachel kneeling beside William’s crumpled form. With a cry, Sarah flung herself down beside her father and took his hand. “Papa, it’s me,” she whispered. “Don’t die, please don’t die. Just hold on. Wade’s gone for Doc.”
At her voice, William’s pale lids fluttered and Sarah felt his cold fingers move. She leaned closer. “Don’t try to talk. I’m here with you.”
With an effort he opened his eyes and tried to smile. “Don’t cry, my dear girl. Jesus is waiting for me, and I’m going to be with your mama at last,” he whispered. He had trouble focusing his eyes, but finally they fastened on Sarah’s white face. “Just be happy, Sweetheart. You fight for your Rand, if you must, and don’t let Wade bully you into anything.” He coughed weakly. “But don’t leave Joel with Wade. Promise me.” His voice grew stronger and he raised his head slightly. “Promise!”
“I promise,” Sarah whispered as she felt his icy fingers loosen.
His eyes widened. “Kate!” he gasped. His chest hitched once, then was still as the last of his breath sighed out his slightly open mouth.
“Papa!” Sarah stared at him. This couldn’t be real. He’d just been talking with her! She clutched his hand tighter. “Don’t leave me, Papa!” She kissed his cheek and gathered his head into her lap. “Dear God, no,” she sobbed. “Don’t take him. This can’t be happening.” She looked over at Rachel kneeling and weeping on the other side of William’s body. “He’s just unconscious, Rachel. He can’t be dead.” She felt as though she were in the grip of a nightmare and couldn’t wake up. She struggled to catch her breath and shook her head slightly to clear it.
Rachel just shook her head and cried hard. “I’m so sorry, Sarah. We all loved him. He was a good man.” She scooted around and put her arm around Sarah’s shaking shoulders. “He never got over missing your mama. Just be happy he’s finally with her again.”
“But I still need him.” Sarah’s voice was bewildered as she stared down into her father’s peaceful face. “He can’t leave me now.” She touched his grizzled cheek, already cooling. Doc will save him, she thought.
They both turned as Wade and Doc Seth rushed in the door. “Help him, Doc,” Sarah pleaded as the doctor knelt beside his friend of nearly forty years and put the stethoscope to William’s chest.
There was a long pause, then the doctor straightened up. “I’m sorry, Sarah. He’s gone.” His voice was hoarse with emotion. William had been his best friend since he’d moved to this valley.
The words hammered into Sarah’s brain with a stunning force. Wade’s accusing stare was the last thing she saw before she whirled and ran from the room, keening in grief.
The next few days were hazy with anguish. There was the preparation of William’s body, the ordering of the casket, the sitting up with her dead father three nights in a row, as well as the hordes of mourning friends who came to pay their last respects. William had been a much loved and respected man in the community.
Sarah thought if she heard just one more time how wonderful it was that William was finally with Kate, she would have a screaming fit. She knew she was selfish, but she wanted him here with her. Amelia hovered anxiously near her every moment, but there was nothing anyone could do to ease her grief. Pastor Stevens tried to comfort her, but she just brushed his words away.
Finally the crowds were gone, and William was laid to rest next to his beloved Kate in the meadow beneath the weeping willow tree. Sarah performed all the usual tasks of homemaking, somehow managing to get through each day. The thought of following Rand was distant and unreal. It took all her strength just to survive the heartache.
As the days passed, Sarah found herself leaning on her faith in a way she’d never known. Instead of questioning God’s hand in her life, she felt His presence in a very special way. She spent many hours beneath the willow tree talking to Him as she kept vigil beside her father’s grave. A week after his death, she knelt beside the two precious graves and planted bright cushions of mums over the moist mound of dirt. They reminded her that her father was more alive than he’d ever been here on earth. There was no more pain for him. Only peace and love and wonderment as he beheld heaven and his Lord. Guide me with Your Holy Spirit, Lord, she prayed. Don’t let me stray from the path You have chosen for me. Keep watch over Rand and send someone to speak to him about his need for You in his life.
Sarah’s twentieth birthday came and went with little festivity, just an aching sense of loss. The Montgomery home had become a solemn place where no one smiled or laughed. Jacob and Amelia slipped away and were married quietly instead of the big celebration they’d planned. Sarah stood up with Amelia, but she was still in such pain she didn’t remember much about the wedding.
Six days after the wedding, she sat peeling potatoes for supper. The weather was still unseasonably warm and the breeze blew in through the open window with a hint of rain in it. The kitchen door banged, and Wade stomped in.
“Supper’s not done yet?” he growled as he hung up his red plaid jacket. He turned and saw her strained face. “I think it’s time you and I had a talk.” His gruff voice softened as he sat down beside her.
She didn’t trust his mild tone. He wanted something from her, and she had a sinking feeling she knew what it was. He’d brought up Ben’s name several times over the past few weeks. “What about?” she asked quietly.
“Your future.” He stared at her challengingly. “I saw Ben in town today and for some reason he still wants to marry you. I told him I didn’t see any reason why you wouldn’t. That good- for-nothing Campbell went off and left you in the lurch and—”
“No.” The short, clipped word cut him off just as he was picking up steam.
“You will do what I say. You’re under age and my ward.” Wade compressed his lips in an effort to keep his temper.
“I will not marry Ben. Rand and I belong together. That was Papa’s last words to me. I won’t marry anyone but Rand. I’ll never marry Ben.”
“Well, that’s just too
bad, missy. You’d better get used to the idea because you will do as I say. Campbell has run off to the frontier, and you’ll never see him again anyway.” He pulled her to her feet and shoved her toward the door. “You’ll stay in your room until you agree to abide by my decisions.” He grabbed her arm and dragged her ruthlessly up the stairs and into her room.
Sarah stared at the closed door in disbelief as the lock clicked shut behind her brother. His behavior had shocked her so much she hadn’t put up much fight. “You can’t keep me in here, Wade,” she shouted. “This isn’t the Middle Ages!” She heard his heavy tread down the steps and ran to the door. “Let me out of here. I’ll never marry Ben—never!” She twisted the latch to no avail, then kicked at the solid oak door in a helpless frenzy of rage. Minutes later she had nothing to show for her efforts except a sore foot and a splinter in the palm of her hand.
She sat down on the bed to think. Joel would be home soon, and Rachel would be back from the market. Surely one of them could be persuaded to let her out. But what then? What could she do? She bit her lip. The idea of going to Rand revived suddenly. Jacob and Amelia were leaving tomorrow. Perhaps she could convince them to let her go out with them. Jacob would surely be glad of a companion for Amelia. She’d find Rand and confess how wrong she’d been. Surely he would forgive her. They could make a new life away from Wade’s meddling.
Instead of asking to be let out, she spent the night planning her escape and was pale and drawn from lack of sleep by the time morning came. She packed a suitcase of essentials and hid it under the bed just as she heard Wade’s heavy tread outside the door.
The lock turned and he stepped into the room. She wanted to throw something at him as soon as she saw his smug face. “Ready to be reasonable yet?”
“Do I have a choice?” she kept her face averted so he couldn’t see her eyes.
He smiled. He hadn’t expected such an early capitulation. “I knew you’d come around. I had Rachel save you some breakfast.”
The exultation in his voice caused her to clench her hands to keep from screaming at him. “I’m not hungry,” she said quietly.
He eyed her bent head, then satisfied that he’d broken her spirit, just nodded. “Fine. I’ll go talk to Pastor Stevens, and we’ll discuss when the wedding can take place.” He left the door open behind him and tromped back downstairs and out the door.
She sprang to her feet as soon as she heard the buggy rumble down the rutted track toward town. Feverishly she pulled her suitcase from under her bed. As she picked it up and turned toward the door, she heard someone in the hall. She froze until she realized it was just Joel.
“What are you doing?” Joel’s face was pinched and drawn with misery. His red hair didn’t look as though it had been combed for days. He’d had a rough time these last few weeks, too. He as well as Sarah had lost his father. She’d been too overcome with grief to pay much attention to him.
Sarah stared at him in consternation. She had forgotten about Joel and her promise to her father. She couldn’t leave him here with Wade. She knelt and put her arms around him. “I’m going to find Rand, and I want you to come with me.”
His pale face brightened. “Honest Injun?”
“Honest Injun.” How she was going to manage it, she wasn’t quite sure, but she’d find a way. It would be hard enough to slip away by herself, but encumbered by an eleven-year-old, it would be much harder. “Let’s hurry and pack your things before Wade gets back.”
They hurried to Joel’s room and Sarah threw three changes of clothes for him in the only suitcase small enough for him to handle.
“Can I take my rifle?”
Sarah hesitated as she looked into his pleading face. The less baggage the better, but the rifle had been Papa’s and she didn’t have the heart to make him leave it behind. She nodded and he slung it over his shoulder and picked up his suitcase. They slipped down the steps and came face to face with Rachel.
She looked from the suitcases to Sarah’s face. “You’re leaving.” It wasn’t a question. “I knew Wade would never force you to fall in with his plans—but who has ever been able to tell him anything?” She pushed her hair back from her forehead and held out her arms.
Sarah put down her suitcase and went to Rachel with a sigh. “I’ll miss you, Rachel. But I have to find Rand.” Her words were muffled against Rachel’s shoulder. She drew away and looked into her sister-in-law’s eyes. “Don’t tell Wade I’ve gone.”
Rachel smiled faintly. “No problem. He won’t be back till suppertime. If you hurry, you can catch the afternoon train and be long gone before he knows you’ve left.” She hugged her fiercely, then shoved her toward the door. “Write when you get there. And don’t forget about me and the baby. We love you.”
Sarah gulped and wiped her eyes. “I know, Rachel. And you’ve been a real sister to me. Make sure you write us when the baby’s born.”
Rachel nodded, then smiled through her tears and made a shooing motion with her apron. “You’d best get going. You have a lot to get done today.”
Joel hurried ahead to hitch up the buggy while Sarah took one last look at the home where she’d been born. The sun shone through the bare trees in dappled patterns on the front porch roof. The solid two-story seemed so safe and familiar. She could see the red barn just behind it where she’d played in the haymow as a child. The chicken coop off to the east, the pasture beyond that, and all around the gently rolling hills of Montgomery land; it was all so heartbreakingly beloved.
She’d never had any plans of leaving her home. At least not any farther than the knoll beyond the pasture. Would she ever see it again? And who would tend Papa’s grave?
She choked back tears and climbed up beside Joel. This was no time for tears, for second thoughts. Wade had left her no choice. She waved one last good-bye at Rachel, then stared firmly ahead. She couldn’t think about what she was leaving or she wouldn’t be able to go.
eight
Sarah stared unseeingly out the window of the stagecoach as the barren landscape swept by. Would this trip never end? Jacob and Amelia had readily fallen in with her plan. They had assumed she was arriving to say good-bye, and Amelia’s sad little face had flushed with joy when she realized her best friend would be coming with them. By ten o’clock the four of them were on the train headed west.
When they arrived at Leavenworth, they’d found Rand had gone on to Laramie. It was just a temporary setback, though, as the commander readily agreed to allow Jacob to accompany a troop of new recruits heading out to Laramie. Four days later they squeezed about the crowded stagecoach and started the last eighty miles of their journey. Sarah’s teeth chattered as the unheated stagecoach lurched and bounced its way across the frozen prairie. They were all crammed together so tightly she couldn’t move anything except her head, and every bone in her body ached. She could no longer remember a time when she wasn’t cold and sore.
The smell bothered Sarah and Amelia more than anything. The stagecoach reeked of dusty leather, hair tonic, horse, and underlying everything else, the unlovely aroma of unwashed bodies. Occasionally, several of the soldiers traveling with them tried to strike up a conversation, but they soon fell silent under Jacob’s glowering gaze.
The frozen landscape rolled past all that day and through the night. The next morning was colder, and a hint of moisture was in the blustery wind. The soldiers predicted a blizzard but not until the next day. They should all be safe and snug in Fort Laramie by then.
“I can’t believe we missed Rand. He wasn’t supposed to come out to this wilderness until spring,” Sarah moaned.
“It won’t be long now,” Amelia said soothingly.
Sarah sighed again and her breath steamed. “I hope I get a chance to bathe before I see Rand. I must look terrible.” She could feel her hair hanging in straggly wisps against her cheeks. The last time she pushed it out of her face, her gloves had come away smeared with dirt. Rand would take one look at her and send her home.
Jacob
shuffled his feet on the other side of Amelia as the driver gave a shout from topside. He grinned at Sarah. “Sounds like we’re there.”
Sarah moaned and tried to pat the strands of hair back into some semblance of order as she lifted the leather covering and peered out of the window at the famous fort. Surrounded by rocky soil and sagebrush, it sprawled across the Laramie River, its frame and adobe buildings lining a wide parade ground fortified with mountain howitzers. But it was all so barren. The fort seemed a tiny oasis in a vast plain of frigid wasteland.
She gave an involuntary gasp when she saw the Indians encamped all around the fort, their teepees gleaming in the sunshine. Hundreds of them. Squaws squatted around open fires; children shouted and played in the dust.
“The fort’s been overrun with Indians,” she gulped.
The garrulous old soldier across the aisle chuckled. “Fort Laramie’s the headquarters for the Sioux. There’s always a passel of redskins ’round here. You’ll git used to it.”
“But there’s no stockade,” she said with a shudder. “What if they turn hostile?”
“There’s always plenty of hostiles around, but they know better than to attack a fort as well garrisoned as this one. You don’t need to worry none, missy. The most them savages ever done was run howling through the pasture to stampede the horses.”
Several soldiers manned a ferry, and the trip across the river was accomplished quickly. Sarah’s heart pounded as the horses pulled the stage up the hill and it rolled to a stop. The driver threw open the door and helped the two ladies down before climbing on top and tossing all the luggage down to the eager hands waiting below.
Sarah stared all around in dismay. It was not at all as she’d imagined. The adobe buildings sat in neat rows along a barren parade ground. They looked cheerless and unwelcoming. A U.S. flag whipped forlornly in the wind atop a flagpole on the far side of the parade ground. The fort seemed to be stuck out in the middle of nowhere with the wilderness all around. She could feel all the soldiers milling around the fort staring at her and Amelia.
Where Leads the Heart Page 7