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Not Husband Material Page 24

by Violet Paige


  She giggled and threw her arms around me to meet the kisses I peppered her with as I walked us out toward the beach, where a towel waited for us. I’d left it there while Jillian freshened up earlier, hoping to watch the sunset with her, and it looked like I wasn’t going to be disappointed.

  As I set her down, and watched her get comfortable on it, though, it struck me how odd it was I was having that thought. Watching the sunset with someone? What was getting into me?

  The weirdness of it couldn’t last long, though. Seeing her smile brightly up at me as she made room for me to sit by her made my heart flutter in a way I wasn’t used to. It had been just half of the full week, but the sight of that happy face pushed any worries away.

  Well, all but one.

  It was easy to lose myself in the thrill of finally having Jillian, the fresh delight of being able to savor someone I never thought I’d want to have. But part of me had almost been expecting her to turn cold, sober up, and treat this like a transaction before long. Instead, I was seeing that same kind of blushing smile in her face that I felt in mine.

  And that made my mind drift to Santa Barbara with a pang of guilt.

  “So, what’s on the menu tomorrow?” she asked as I sat down beside her.

  “Besides you?” I answered, making her blush. “Well, that depends. We have four full days left, then the trip home, which will take up the last day. What do you think about snorkeling?”

  She seemed to perk up at that. “Ohh, I’ve never been, but it sounds like fun.”

  “I know a spot on the coast of Andros Island, biggest island in the Bahamas,” I said with a smile. “If you take a liking to it, we can spend a couple days there. The day after that, though, I have a reservation at a restaurant in Nassau that you’ll never forget, but we’ll go over some of the possible sights on the boat tonight and let you pick your favorite.

  She shook her head, leaning into me and beaming at the sparkling waters. “I never thought I’d be in a place in life to have all those options.”

  And which one are you planning to tell her about your situation? I asked myself as I stared out at the sea.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked me, noticing my silence. I gave my head a little shake.

  “Oh, it’s…” I wanted to say ‘nothing’ badly. Just brush it off until later. But I knew better than that. That was what I did when I was in a bad place. Freshman year of college, I just kept blowing things off until later, and later became never. I lost touch with Jeff because I put it off over and over again.

  Jillian tilted her head, her pretty face looking confused. I couldn’t blow off this conversation. She was worth more than that.

  “Jill, I want to level with you,” I confessed, turning and leaning on my knees. “I’m not... I mean, I don’t want this to be—”

  “Bruin,” she said, a confused smile on her face, “I joke about feeling like you’re a pirate running off with me, but I’m having a great time.”

  “I know,” I said, “it’s better than I could have expected, and I’m not surprised often. That’s why I want to be completely honest with you before we go any further.”

  Her brows furrowed, and she listened attentively.

  “My home is in Santa Barbara,” I explained. “I mean, I have homes other places, but that’s where my heart is.”

  “Does it mean something special to you?” she asked.

  “More than you know,” I replied with a grin that vanished quickly. “It’s special to me, but for more reasons than you think. When I say my heart is there, I don’t just mean it like that. A piece of me is there.” I took a deep breath, looked Jillian straight in the eye, and spoke. “Santa Barbara is where my daughter is.”

  Her jaw dropped. “Your daughter?”

  “Emma,” I said with a smile. “Emma Kincaid. She turned three this year.” I shook my head, staring out at the water. “You can have all the money in the world, but nothing prepares you for fatherhood. Especially when it’s a surprise.”

  “A father?” Jillian repeated, now staring at the water too. She looked at me, suddenly terrified. “Does that mean you’re married? Oh God. Are you married?”

  I wanted to quickly calm the panic. “No. I’m not married. I’d never do that to you. I’d never have brought you on the Mirabella.” I shook my head, smiling sadly. “No, it was an old relationship. I never knew she was pregnant after a one-night stand, and nine months later,” I retold the story, taking a deep breath as I pushed through an explanation I hadn’t had to make in a long time. “I got a call from her.”

  “She came back?”

  “No. The call I got was from an attorney. She...she passed. Drunk driver. She had been out with friends. I had no idea she didn’t have any other family. Hell, I didn’t know anything about her. I was the next closest person Emma could go to.”

  “Oh my God, Bruin.”

  Jillian put a hand on mine. I looked over at her, searching her face. I had been worried she would be horrified or look down on me in some way, but I didn’t see any of that in her face.

  “So, that’s that,” I said simply.

  “I had no idea,” she said, shaking her head and sitting back.

  “I know,” I paused. “That’s why I wanted to tell you now instead of later. In case…” I frowned, shaking my head. This wasn’t like me. Why did I feel like I could be vulnerable around Jillian after so little time? But it felt wrong to just clam up now and act like my usual self. “I don’t want there to be any nasty surprises between us, whatever. No matter how much fun we’re having.”

  “Bruin, I’d never think that a ‘nasty’ anything,” she said with a faint laugh. “I’m just surprised because I never really thought of you as a father.”

  “Right?” I laughed. “I’m still getting used to it. Bruin Kincaid, software developing billionaire, international adventurer, and daddy. I’m not exactly the type to wear one of those strap-on baby harnesses.”

  Jillian giggled at that, and she leaned over to kiss me on the cheek, and that turned into a soft kiss on the lips. “I don’t know. I think I could see it.”

  We stared into each other’s eyes for a few long moments, and I felt a kind of relief wash over me I’d never felt before. I’d been worried about sharing that all with Jillian, but she didn’t just accept the news, she seemed to like it. The look she gave me was new, too, almost like she was sizing me up.

  There was something about it that made me feel proud in a masculine, primal way. Her gaze turned lidded, and I felt my cock swelling under the silk again.

  She knew what was coming when I leaned over her and kissed her. She fumbled with the knot around her waist, but I pushed her hands out of the way and undid it in a second before I let my own slide off my shoulders.

  “Bruin, we’re in public,” she whispered, a laughing smile on her face.

  “Naked for the whole world to see,” I remarked in a low tone as I pressed myself down on her. “Hell, let someone see.”

  I slipped one hand behind her head to cradle it as I pressed a kiss to her lips, and my other hand went down to her pussy. It was still wet and slick with the mess both of us had made a few minutes ago.

  “Still ready,” I said in a husky whisper.

  “For you, I’ve always been ready,” she whispered back, and that primal force within me energized my whole body.

  I slid myself into her in a single thrust, and she let out a gasp that filled the whole beach before getting lost in the crashing waves behind us. The sun was setting, and it lit up her dark hair with a glossy sheen. Every little thing I noticed about her made me harder by the second until I was as stiff as the first time I’d gotten to thrust into her.

  This time, though, there was something more to it. I bent down over her as she looked up at me with a needy, lidded gaze, breathing through her mouth as she panted for me. I rocked back and forth within her, feeling my every pulse against her insides, getting to know every detail of her pussy.

  I kissed her deep
ly, our tongues exploring each other, darting in and out as I sucked on her lip, she bit at mine, and I tasted hers. When our kiss broke, I looked into her eyes as I started thrusting into her. I felt her hands go to my sides, feeling my hardened muscles, counting the ripples in my rock-hard body.

  Her hands explored me, soft palms taking in my sculpted form like I took in the feeling of her pussy, the tastes of her breasts, the softness of her lips. We weren’t just fucking, we were fascinated with each other. It was like we were discovering something totally new that had been right in front of us all our lives.

  I started to buck faster, wanting to make her come, to feel her back arch and her body tense up and shake. When I brought Jillian on board on this ridiculous little ride I planned, I was hungry for her body. I’d wanted to devour everything she had to offer, to unwind that stern professional and see what she was capable of. Now that I knew, what I felt was so much more.

  And God, it was so much better.

  I felt comfortable around Jillian in a way I’d never felt comfortable around anyone. Was that the lust talking? Was it just the swarm of endorphins swimming through my head as I felt the need to release in her build up after countless minutes of bucking into her, wrapping her legs around me this way and that, reveling in everything she was?

  Whatever it was, I loved it. I wanted to make her feel good the way I felt good, and the way she ran her fingernails down from my back to my sides made me feel like she wanted the same thing. I gripped her ass and pulled her up into me, leaving so little of her body on the ground as I pumped my hips back and forth, listening to her soft whimpers--they weren’t the gasps of the girl she’d once been when I met her, but of the woman she’d become, drinking in everything I had to offer. I grew fiercer and fiercer until I felt her legs start to shake with the exertion, and as she screamed out in delight, I felt her flood my cock with her fluids. Gently, I set her ass back down on the poor, abused towel, still not relenting in my rhythm.

  I bent my head down to her ear and whispered as I thrust into her.

  “Jill.” She opened her eyes wearily, worn out from the battering I was giving her. I held her head up at the neck as I looked down at her, heart swelling. “Your eyes. God, Jill, I want to keep you here forever so I can always see the sunset playing in those eyes.”

  “Keep me,” she gasped in a ragged voice.

  “Maybe I just will,” I growled, and I thrust into her harder and faster than ever until I lost control of myself. My balls grew tight, my cock twitched, and I released whatever I had left in me as the orgasm shot through my body, leaving me paralyzed in her for so long I lost track of time before my powerful body slumped beside her, drops of my seed spilling onto her hips as we lay together.

  I stared into her eyes as we panted there on the beach, sun setting and painting the sky purple. We didn’t say anything for a long time. Our eyes did the talking for us.

  I had no idea what was going to happen at the end of this week. But at that moment, I didn’t care.

  18

  Jillian

  I was lying on the bed in a terrycloth robe, my hair a mess of tangles. I was exhausted, my body aching from head to toe. But it was the happy kind of tired. The kind that comes from a long week of sunshine, sea salt, and mind-blowing sex. Next to me, Bruin lay peacefully. His strong arm was draped over me, keeping me close, as though he was afraid I might disappear into thin air if he let me go for even a second. It was adorable.

  His gorgeous blue eyes were closed, his kissable lips slightly parted as he breathed deeply. I could tell he was seconds from sleep. There was something so irresistible about him this way. Calm. Quiet. But with that inner strength still thrumming underneath his skin. I could feel the heat radiating off of him. I snuggled closer, nuzzling my nose against his. He smiled, his eyes opening just enough to look at me. Even though we were drifting on the Atlantic, the waves outside were nothing compared to the deep blue sea of his eyes. He hugged me close and kissed my forehead gently.

  “God, you’re beautiful,” he said softly.

  “No, I’m not,” I answered.

  It was a gut reaction. I got compliments from people often enough, but never from someone like Bruin. It was usually some slimy guy at a bar or some taxi driver shouting at me from his car. Those “compliments” I could deal with. I would roll my eyes, turn away. Sometimes say thank you, usually with varying degrees of sarcasm. But with Bruin, it felt too genuine. Too honest. And it made me blush.

  “You are. The most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” he argued.

  “Stop,” I laughed, looking away. “I don’t know how to react to how nice you’re being.”

  “You could just say thank you,” Bruin suggested, raising an eyebrow. He looked amused.

  “Yeah, I guess. I don’t know. It’s weird,” I began, and then stopped myself. He sat up, looking interested suddenly. He began stroking my hair back away from my face as I looked up at him. He cocked his head to one side.

  “What’s weird?” he asked.

  I shook my head. “Nothing. Don’t worry about it. I don’t know what I’m saying.”

  “No, you can’t backtrack now. Tell me what you’re thinking. Whatever it is. I want to know, Jillian,” he pressed. I sighed and sat up, still too bashful to look him in the eye.

  “It’s just that… well, I’ve known you for years,” I started, biting my lip.

  “Yeah. Since I was in college,” he said, nodding. He looked at me expectantly.

  “Okay. Yes. Since you were in college. And I was just a kid. A dumb teenager with braces and frizzy hair,” I said, shaking my head. “And back then, I would have done anything to get your attention. To make you notice me.”

  “Jillian, I always noticed you,” he said, furrowing his brow.

  “No, I mean… to really notice me,” I added meaningfully. “Bruin, I’ve had a crush on you since the first time I ever saw you. But you were so mean. You used to tease me, remember? And when you were around, even Jeff would tease me. And he wasn’t like that.”

  Bruin sighed and ran his fingers back through his dark hair. “Yeah. I was an asshole.”

  “I wouldn’t say that…”

  “I would,” he said firmly. “Jillian, I’ve changed since then. I mean, I can’t deny there was a time when I was a dick. I was reckless and stupid and selfish. Hell, I might still be that way today if not for my daughter. She changed everything. It’s stupid that it took a little baby to make me change my ways, but that’s the truth. She came into my world and suddenly I didn’t want to be that guy anymore. I needed to be better. For her sake and mine.”

  “You’re a good father.” I smiled fondly. “I can tell.”

  He leaned forward and kissed me. “Thank you. I hope you’re right. That little girl deserves the world and if I can give her the world, I will.”

  “It’s crazy how you can be so different,” I said. “One minute, you’re like this hot, domineering sex god, and then the next minute you’re a sweet, doting father.”

  “Duality of man, I guess.” He chuckled. “I can never totally bury who I used to be. I think that side of me only comes out in the bedroom now.”

  “And in the shower. And on the beach,” I said slyly, biting my lip. He smirked.

  “And anywhere else you want to fuck,” he teased softly, kissing me deeply. I leaned into him as his hands cupped my face.

  “With you, anywhere is fine,” I whispered. He pinned me down on the bed, making me laugh. Leaning over me, he smiled.

  “God, it’s so hard not to just take you right here, right now. I can’t resist you, Jillian. I think I might be addicted,” he said, shaking his head slowly.

  “How long do we have before we get back to port?” I asked, my heart skipping a beat at the thought of going again. I was so tired, but at the slightest insinuation that I could fuck Bruin again, I was ready. My body was his for the taking, no matter what.

  Bruin kissed me, his tongue pushing into my mouth. I reached up and
ran my fingers through his hair, tugging him down, begging him to stay with me this way. It was crazy. I had started this week-long trip with fear and worry, and now I never wanted it to end. But of course it had to. Bruin and I weren’t together. We came from separate worlds. We both worked so hard and had our own hectic, complex lives to keep up with. I had clients all over the world, and so did he. On top of that, I had to contend with Jeff and what he would do if he ever found out about Bruin and me. And Bruin had his little girl to worry about. No matter what, she had to come first.

  “For the way I’d want to fuck you, we don’t have enough time,” he whispered as he pulled away.

  My heart sank. I couldn’t believe our week of bliss was already ending. Suddenly, that familiar shadowy darkness was returning to Bruin’s demeanor. The softness, the sweetness was rapidly washing away with every minute closer to the harbor we got.

  “Bruin…” My voice was shaky. I was not sure what I even wanted to say to him. There were so many questions in my head. So many things I wanted to tell him, but I couldn’t find the words to string together and make sense. He got off the bed and walked away.

  “Don’t worry,” he said suddenly, “I’ll keep up my end of the deal. The yacht is yours. Well, Jeff’s. I’ll sign the papers as soon as I get back to my office.”

  “I wasn’t going to—” I protested.

  “I know. But let’s not pretend this was anything more than the deal. Okay?” he said, and the cruelty, the coldness of his words made me freeze up. Who was this Bruin Kincaid? A different man than the warm, passionate man who had been sailing with me this week.

  “Bruin, what’s going on?” I asked, sliding out of bed and walking over to put a hand on his shoulder.

  He flinched slightly, like he wanted to pull away, but then he just reached up and took my hand. He held it in his own, stroking my fingers with his thumb. I could tell he was thinking, but I had no idea about what. He slowly raised my hand to his lips and kissed it softly.

  I could feel somehow that it was a silent apology.

 

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