by Violet Paige
I picked up my margarita and began the painful walk to the patio tables. I sidestepped the waitress whose arms were loaded with beer mugs. I stopped in front of the table closest to the water. The one with arguable the prettiest and most romantic view on the entire island. Sunset lovers camped out all afternoon just to get that table.
“I thought you were out getting supplies.” I was trying not to grit my teeth, but holding back wasn’t my best trait.
A strange territorial nature came over me.
“Oh, hey. I didn’t see you come in.” Cole smiled.
He seemed more relaxed than the last time I had seen him, only last time he wasn’t sitting with a cute brunette, in a short dress and five-inch-heels.
“Oh, hey?”
I pushed down the queasy feeling in my stomach. Was this the part of the fling where I was supposed to play it cool, like we didn’t actually know each other and hadn’t spent all night skin to skin? I didn’t think I could do it, especially not now with Cole sitting so close to someone else.
She was holding out her phone and they were looking through pictures. I wasn’t close enough to see what made them so happy.
“Kaitlyn, this is Amber. Amber, Kaitlyn.” He glanced between the two of us before tipping his beer bottle back.
“Amber?” I could feel the trembling in my ankles. Oh my God. How was this happening? This was Amber. As in, mother of his child, Amber.
She looked nothing like her brother, Lance, other than the fact that she was thin, perfect super-model thin. We could not be more different. Her long pink nails clutched a glass of white wine. She took a deliberate sip and smiled at me.
“So nice to meet you, Kaitlyn.” She even had a sweet Texas accent. She fluttered her eyes back to Cole and looked at him with consuming intensity. I thought I was going to be sick right there on Peabody’s patio.
She knew the same things about him I did. He’d slept with her. They had a child together. I took a step back.
Maybe the history I thought we shared wasn’t as strong and unbreakable as I thought. What was I doing? Was I getting in the way of a child’s happiness? Was I interfering with Cole’s priorities? I needed to leave. I needed to think.
“Kaitlyn, are you ok?” Cole stood from the table. His voice was deeper than usual and he stepped closer to me. He blocked Amber from my view.
Everything happened so fast, I whirled to leave Peabody’s when Cole grabbed my arm. My drink slipped from my landing against his chest.
The lime drink streamed down his chiseled jaw as he wiped the slush from his cheek.
“Oh my God, Cole!” Amber jumped from her seat with a stack of napkins.
Before I witnessed one more nauseating exchange between the two, my legs carried me out of Peabody’s faster than I had ever run in flip-flops. Hank might have been calling my name or maybe it was Cole.
I didn’t know how long it took me to walk back three blocks from the bar, because everything was a blur. I had just lost it—completely lost it in front of Cole, Amber, Hank, and anyone else who was at Peabody’s. I tried to take a deep breath. I didn’t want to cry, but the more I forced the tears to stay away, the more my chest hurt.
“Darlin’, let me in.” Cole pounded on my door with heavy-fisted thuds.
I sat on the bed, reaching for a tissue to blot at my face.
“Are you in there?” He sounded worried.
“I’m fine.” I didn’t expect him to follow me, and I wasn’t prepared to see him—not like this anyway. I hadn’t had ten minutes to think anything through yet.
I needed time. I needed perspective.
“I don’t know what’s going on, but please open the damn door.” The pounding stopped.
I moved closer to the door. The pain in my chest had subsided a little and the queasiness was gone. “I think I’ll hang out in here.” I spoke through the barrier that was between us.
“Well, that’s interesting, but not really the point, I guess. Please just let me in.”
“Why?” I blew my nose into the tissue and sank to the floor, resting my shoulder against the door.
“Because I know I was a total dick when I left here this afternoon and I want to apologize. I think we should talk.”
The tears in my eyes had slowed. What could he say that would make me feel like any less of an idiot? How could he explain drinks with Amber? What’s worse was that he didn’t need to. I knew I had no right to barge in on him. She had a claim on him that I couldn’t come close to.
“And I need to talk to you about why I had to meet with Amber at Peabody’s.” He paused for a few seconds. I thought he might have left. “Let me in. How am I supposed to fix any of this if I can’t see you? Come on, Kaitlyn.”
I pushed myself up from the floor and released the chain from the latch. I opened the door.
“Thank God. I thought you weren’t going to let me in.” Cole forced the door open all the way, until he was standing in front of me. His shirt was wet and he reeked of tequila.
I looked out into the corridor. It was empty.
“Are you expecting someone else?” Cole asked.
“Where did Amber go?” My eyes dropped to the floor. I didn’t want to be jealous.
“Home. To pick up Grayson. We had a lot to discuss.” He watched me. “She called when I was out.”
Now that Cole was standing in front of me, in my room, all my emotions were stronger, and being so near to him heightened everything.
I walked toward the dresser. “Maybe I should go. I could make this easier.” I started opening drawers and stuffing my new purchases back in their bags. The drawers slammed shut in my wake.
“What are you doing?” Cole followed me as I collected everything I had in the room.
“Am I in the way? Am I keeping you from Grayson?” I tossed a handful of shirts on the bed.
“Stop. Just stop.” Cole spun me around until his hands clutched my wrists. “You’re not leaving. And not like this.”
It was happening again—the air was charged and even though there were only inches between us, all I wanted was to erase them.
“Let me go, Cole.” I didn’t want to look at him. I knew he could melt any resistance I had, and the way he was holding me, he knew it too.
“I don’t know what’s going on in that head of yours, but you’re not interfering with Grayson. Amber has made a huge decision and she wanted to talk to me about it.”
I let me eyes travel from the floor to his face.
“What did she say?”
He rubbed the scruff on his chin. “She wants to take a residency in London and write poetry.”
My mouth dropped. “What?”
He rolled his eyes. “Yeah. She’s unpredictable that one. As far as I know, she’s never written more than a text.”
“And Grayson?” I was almost afraid to ask.
He looked at me. “I’m going to have full legal custody.”
“You are? Oh my God, Cole. That’s amazing. That’s what you wanted.”
He nodded, hiding a smile. “Yeah. It’s exactly what I wanted. And I have to get the documents drawn up before she leaves. Her classes start in the fall. That gives me about two months to get the Dunes set up and a real place for Grayson to live. It’s one thing for him to spend some time at the motel, but I need to find something permanent.”
“And it was Amber’s idea? The custody arrangement?”
He nodded. “It was her idea. I couldn’t be more shocked.”
“That’s not at all what I thought I saw.” I felt embarrassed and ashamed.
Cole crossed the distance, drawing me toward him. “I know it looked bad. I can only imagine, but Amber is only around because she has to be. And as much as it’s going to be hard as hell on Grayson, her taking a break is going to be a good thing.”
I nodded. “I know you’re an amazing father.”
His thumb grazed over my bottom lip.
“I don’t know. He’s two. It’s pretty simple right now.�
�
“Cole?”
“Yeah, baby?”
I searched his blue eyes. “Can I meet him some time?”
“How about tomorrow?”
“Really?”
He nodded. “Really.”
His lips crashed into mine as he gathered me in his arms. I inhaled the nearness of him as my body softened in his hands.
“Darlin’, don’t ever do that again,” he whispered in my ear. “Don’t walk out on me.”
I nodded. “I’m sorry I spilled my drink on you and ran out of Peabody’s.”
Cole let his hand travel down my back, and slip between my shorts and the soft skin of the small of my back. I felt the tingles travel through my belly.
I tipped my head back. He spun me toward the wall and reached under my shirt, squeezing my breast. The way he touched me was like torture, but the kind of torture I craved. Pain mixed with pleasure.
“I don’t know what this is between us, but I feel it.” His gaze was so intense I lost my breath. He loosened the button on my shorts and grabbed my waistband, sending my shorts to the floor. I moaned as his fingers played between my legs. “Do you feel it?”
“Mmm-hmm.” I was surrounded by whatever this thing was between us. I could feel it in my skin, my chest, and deep within my core.
Had he felt it for as many years as I had?
Cole’s hands disconnected from my body. I was breathing heavier than I could remember. He unsnapped his shorts, and I bit down hard on my lip as I heard them hit the floor. He grabbed the underside of my bottom and wrapping my leg around his waist. He slid my panties to the side as his cock nudged to my center.
We were reckless. I was desperate for him to be inside me. I wanted him to erase the last hour of misery.
“I love fucking you.” He breathed into my neck.
I almost screamed as he thrust inside my pussy. I wanted him more than anything in my life.
He pushed me harder against the wall. My wall was flat against the peeling paint. Our bodies were in perfect unison.
“So, don’t do that, Kaitlyn. Don’t tell me you’re leaving.” He growled in my ear. “I’m not ready for you to say good-bye.”
“I won’t.” I panted. “I won’t leave.”
“I need you so fucking badly.
He dug his hands into the small of my back and this time I couldn’t suppress the screams. He felt so damn amazing. Yes, please, more of this all night long. I rocked against him until I felt the sweet pressure building uncontrollably. My hands splayed against the wall, tilting my hips upward.
He slammed into me.
“I have to get a condom,” he hissed.
I whimpered as he pulled out and searched his shorts for protection. It was standard now for him to carry it with him. He rolled it on over his cock quickly and pushed inside me.
“You like it when I fuck you like this?” he asked.
“God, yes.” I was his. On the bed. On the wall. In the shower. I’d always wanted to be his. “Don’t stop, Cole.”
“I won’t.” His mouth covered mine in a hungry kiss.
He pumped inside me and my body shuddered with total abandon as the release enveloped me. Cole held me as we both vibrated and quivered. I felt drunk. Tipsy on sex. We collapsed to the floor. My legs straddled him and I rested my cheek against the cotton of his T-shirt.
I sat up to kiss him. “Mmm, you taste like a margarita.” I giggled.
“Funny.” He laughed. “This crazy girl threw a drink on me tonight.”
“I spilled it.” I corrected him and licked his bottom lip.
“Seriously, Kaitlyn. I meant it. What I said just a minute ago.” He sat up so he was resting on his elbows.
My heart was pounding, and there was a chance it was loud enough for Cole to hear it.
“I’m not ready for you to leave.” He leaned down and kissed me on the forehead.
“I’m not ready to leave.” I wanted another kiss. I brushed my lips over his. “Can we finally come up with a plan to talk to Ryan?”
He bristled. “Let’s take this one step at a time. Tomorrow Grayson moves in.”
“Moves in?” I sat forward.
“Yeah. Amber says she has a lot to do to get ready for the move. I told her I’m happy to have him.”
“But tomorrow? Your son is going to be here for good?”
He laughed. “Don’t worry. He’s only a tiny tyrant, and he’s going to love you.”
I smiled. “I know I’m going to love him.” It was on the tip of my tongue. I was going to say because I already loved his father. “But…” I twisted my lips together. “What about this?”
We had been fucking all over the motel. There was no way we could keep that up with a child running around.
“He’s in bed by 7:30 and I have a baby monitor. Don’t worry.”
“You know I’ll do whatever you need, Cole. I want this. Whatever this is.” I settled in his lap. “But after Grayson gets settled we have to talk about Ryan.” I eyed him.
His relationship with my brother was something he didn’t want to risk. But we were way past that point. Our unspoken understanding was that this was going forward.
He moved his hands over my hips.
“Shh. We can talk later.”
I sighed when he lifted me and placed me on the bed. He ripped open another condom and laid it next to the bed. “But Cole…”
“On your knees, baby,” he commanded.
My stomach flipped and my nipples perked. “But…”
His lips pressed together in a firm line. “Kaitlyn.”
I rolled over and lifted myself to my knees. He pressed his fingers between my legs, swirling between my folds and then his tongue was at my rosebud.
Oh my God. It was so erotic and hot. I bucked as he thrust it inside just as his fingers slid inside my pussy.
“Oh, Cole,” I moaned. Tonight was full of the unexpected. His tongue moved in and out as I rocked with a frenzied pace. I couldn’t stop. I wanted it. I needed it.
I felt the tightening in my core.
“So fucking perfect,” he growled.
I heard him sigh with satisfaction as he slapped my ass. I yelped just before he delivered another earth-shattering orgasm.
20
Cole
I never introduced any women I dated to Grayson. Never. I had a responsibility to keep him safe. To give him something he could count on. But Kaitlyn was already family. She fell into a different category.
And I was a fucking idiot if I didn’t look at this situation and see it for what it was—I was crazy for my best friend’s sister.
I could see something with her I hadn’t been able to picture in a long time.
A future. An actual future with a woman in my life.
Not just in my bed, but by my side.
I shook my head as I drove to Amber’s apartment. It was on the other side of the island. She leased a high-rise condo. I didn’t think it was the best spot for Grayson, but what did I have for him other than a run-down motel I inherited?
I was going to change that. I wanted him to have a yard and a place to play. I wanted him to grow up with a dog and chasing seagulls on the beach.
I pulled into the parking lot under the complex and took the elevator upstairs. I knocked on the door.
“Daddy!” The door flew open.
“Hey.” I pulled him into my arms. “Do you have your bag packed?”
He pointed to the couch. “Yes. Two. I’m two.”
I laughed. “Yep. You’re two.” I counted five bags. Looked like Amber had collected more toys than clothes.
She walked down the hallway. “Hey. You ready?”
I nodded. “Yes. Looks like we’ll be putting the train set together.”
“He loves the trains.”
She rubbed the top of his sandy blond hair.
“I appreciate this, Cole.”
I slung a bag over my shoulder. “He’s my son, Amber. You don’t have to thank me.”
I saw her wipe the corner of her eyes with her index finger. “I know. I didn’t mean it that way. I just meant for everything. Supporting me so I can write.”
I held back my laugh. She wasn’t a writer.
“Of course. Whatever you need.”
She smiled. “I remember when you were still in the Corps and I told you I’d wait for you during deployments. It’s like that I guess.”
I stopped loading the train set. “It’s not like that.” I eyed her. “I’m not waiting for you to come home.”
Grayson had plopped himself in front of the TV. That was one thing I had to work on. She gave him way too much screen time. I wanted him to be outside. Even if it was a hundred degrees.
“Ok. But you and Grayson will be here when I get back.”
“Right. But I just don’t want you to think it’s something else, Amber. I’m doing this for my son.”
She crossed her arms. “Ok. Ok. I get it. It’s not for me. You don’t have to hurt my feelings on purpose.”
I sighed. “I’m not trying to do that. Why don’t I take this to the truck and I’ll be back to get Grayson?” I walked to the door and rode the elevator.
The sooner I had the new custody papers drawn up the safer I was. Amber could change her mind tomorrow and decide she’d rather be a chef in Hawaii or a cruise ship performer even though she couldn’t sing.
I placed Grayson’s bags in the backseat, careful not to let the tracks spill on the floor. I made a second trip up the elevator.
I walked inside the apartment.
“Ok. I’m set.”
Amber knelt next to our son. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Ok?”
He hugged her. “You too, Mommy.”
It was like shoving a dagger between my ribs. It didn’t matter that I didn’t love her, or that I never had. Watching a boy separated from his mother was painful. I took him by the hand.
Amber waved from the kitchen and blew us each a kiss.
I pretended to catch one for Grayson and pressed it into his chubby cheek.
“Bye Mommy.”