by Kaia Bennett
She had failed miserably.
Flynn had barely even blinked at her obvious ploy to talk to him, and now there was nothing left to say. He was silently following her instructions on how to get to her building. Before she knew it, the ride was over and her building was looming above them.
She swallowed, realizing that this wasn’t just the end of the ride to her apartment, but the end of any chance she would have to be near him for anything other than school. There was nothing left to say, and he certainly wasn’t volunteering any words of encouragement. He was done with her, and that was all there was too it.
"I'll email you if I decide we need anything else. Thanks for the ride," she muttered. She was starting to unbuckle her seatbelt when she heard him mutter a curse under his breath.
"What? Did you say something?"
He didn't speak. He didn't look at her. Gia watched as he bit the inside of his cheek, sighed through his nose, and then, with a shake of his head, hit the gas and sped out of the other side of the parking lot.
"Flynn, you're passing by my...Oookay, there goes my apartment." She pulled her face away from the glass and looked at him, fear beginning to prickle over her skin. "Where are we going?"
Where he was going, she soon discovered, was to park in a dirt lot not too far away from her building. It was a last resort when parking in the area was scarce for students. There were a few cars scattered about, but they were in relative seclusion, surrounded by trees. He parked and turned off the ignition. For the longest of moments, he sat without speaking, staring out the windshield.
"Why did you stop here?" she asked, when the quiet had become unbearable.
"Is this really what you wanted to talk about? Poster boards and deadlines?" Flynn asked incredulously.
Gia opened her mouth, and then closed it when he turned and held her eyes with his.
"What else could I have wanted to talk about?" she asked, finally.
He smirked, as if the answer were too obvious to waste on a reply.
"You know, you could have emailed me that kind of stuff. Or, you could've done what you always do—make the executive decision and do it anyway, without asking," Flynn said.
Most of the project had been executed in a similar fashion, which was why he had found her so annoying when they first starting working together.
"Well? Are you going to say something," he said, clearly getting impatient.
His eyes were making her nervous, and the words were lodging themselves in her throat.
"Like I said...I just wanted...I just wanted to ask what you thou—"
"Spit it out, Gia!"
"I would if you would just shut up already!" she yelled. "God, why do you have to be so infuriating?!"
He shrugged and gazed out the window, trying to reign in the foul mood that was taking him over. "If you want easygoing, go to Luca. I'm fresh out of that shit."
She lifted an eyebrow at him. "Is that bitterness I'm detecting? Is he the reason you're giving me so much shit?"
Flynn smiled as if she were being a ridiculous child. She felt like one for a moment, but when he didn't answer or look in her direction, she studied him more closely. Could he be jealous? Was it possible for him to be anything but arrogant? She sighed deeply and plunked her head against the headrest.
Might as well come clean.
"Whatever. Luca's not in the picture anymore, no thanks to you," she said, feeling his eyes on her as she looked out the window.
"Did he find out on his own, or did your conscience get the better of you?" Flynn asked, not bothering to hide his sarcasm.
"Neither," she said, tiredly. "I found out he was cheating with that girl. You remember, the one from... the party?"
He smiled. "I definitely remember that party," he said, his voice low.
"Don't do that."
"Do what?"
"Don't turn it into some kind of dirty joke," she warned, her anger rising to the surface. "When I found out about Ashley, I didn't have any choice but to tell him what I did with you. I know what Luca did was awful, but it didn't stop me from feeling guilty. So, if you're going to make light of things, can you at least wait till I'm out of earshot?"
He shook his head as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing.
"So, this is what you really wanted to talk about? Did you come here to blame me for making trouble in paradise? Am I supposed to apologize because I kept you occupied while he was fucking around behind your back?"
She looked at him with more resolve than she’d been able to muster since starting this conversation. She didn't bother to argue that she was there to talk about course work. They were both beyond pretending at this point.
"I'd be lying if I said I didn't hate you for what you did," she said, through clenched teeth. "You certainly didn't help matters, but... I'm not pointing the finger at you. I know what I'm accountable for."
She was starting to feel like she’d divulged too much. It wasn't really any of his business what happened between her and her boyfriend...ex-boyfriend. And, why was she practically absolving him? She should be angry that Flynn was right about Luca. She should be laying her best guilt trip on him, regardless of the fact that he probably wouldn't care. She opted, instead, to stop talking about it altogether.
"Look, I didn't come here to give you an update on my love life."
"Well, you damn sure didn't come to talk about schoolwork."
Gia gave him her bottomless-pit-of-loathing look. Her voice shook with her attempt to gain control when she spoke.
"Why are you like this, Flynn?"
He stared out the windshield, leaning his head against the headrest.
"Like what? Heartless? Cruel?"
"Yeah," she said, gulping back the rush of emotions that were telling her to stop going down this road with him. "Why play games with me? Why notice me at all?"
He shrugged, and it was a rather eloquent gesture.
"Why not?"
As soon as he said it, as soon as he saw the look of hurt on her soft features, Flynn wished he could take it back. It was strange for him to question his immediate gut answer, but something made him think he had spoken too soon.
"Why not?" Gia repeated.
She nodded, as if she were accepting swallowing something bitter on her tongue. He almost didn't have time to speak before she covered it with an emotionless stare. Hearing his words on her lips made it sound cruel, like he'd had nothing better to do when he’d turned his attention to her.
Well, hadn't that been the truth?
"Look, it's really not that complicated,” Flynn said with weary sigh. “I wanted you, and you wanted me. You weren't willing to admit it, so I figured I'd lend a hand. I could tell you were gonna get all tortured and angsty on me, so I gave you an out we both could enjoy. But, as for why I decided to act on the attraction—I didn't give it much thought."
When he finished he took a deep breath and spared a glance in her direction, waiting for her to speak.
Gia watched a few cars whiz by, realizing how secluded this spot really was. Had he brought other girls here for private 'conversations'? Did he whisper that they were beautiful after he was done with them, too?
"So, you just decided, on a whim, that I was some good girl you could have fun with?" she questioned.
"And you just decided that I was some dim slacker you'd have to carry to get a decent grade," he replied, refusing to sugarcoat the matter. "Life's funny like that. You think you got something all figured out, and the next thing you know, it switches up on you. It's all one big barrel of random."
She said nothing, and he said nothing, and soon the silence began to grow between them.
Flynn inhaled, and then exhaled deeply. He never claimed to be Dr. Phil, but he thought he’d made a decent effort. The whole conversation was starting to veer off into odd territory. Why was he analyzing his reasons for fucking a hot girl? And what was wrong with her that she was here looking for answers from him? A woman's quest for closure, he decid
ed, was a mighty powerful thing.
"It was all just random," he heard her whisper. She was still staring out of the windshield, but the words had a sense of finality to them. Her question had been answered.
"I'll take you home now. Then, if you still want to talk about poster boards you can email me from the safety of your—"
She wasn't listening to him. She was already opening the car door, stepping out, and slamming it hard as humanly possible.
He sat stunned and motionless for a long moment, before clenching his jaw and getting out to follow her.
CHAPTER TEN
Gia could feel her blood boiling under the surface of her skin. She could barely hear his footfalls behind her through the ringing of pure, white-hot rage in her ears. Everything she had gone through up to this point had been for nothing. She could almost make her peace with that. She’d made huge mistakes, and she’d paid for them. But, her biggest mistake, by far, was wasting one second lusting after Cameron Flynn. He didn't know how to be anything other than a soulless bastard.
"Gia, what are you—"
He grabbed her arm when he reached her. It hadn't taken long, even with her quick angry steps, for his long strides to catch up. He barely had time to wrap his fingers around her arm before she turned, swinging like a banshee. Her fist was off, but only slightly.
"What the FUCK!!!!" Flynn roared, loud enough for his voice to echo through the dirt lot.
He bent over, clutching at his ear. He’d been confident he could dodge whatever she threw, but when she turned around he saw her face and he froze. For a second, just before she clocked him, he saw her cheeks streaked with tears and her eyes squinting as if she were physically in pain. It was a second that cost him thrumming pain on the left side of his head.
"You look surprised, Flynn. Does it hurt?" A bitter smile spread across her full lips, a snarl over her teeth.
He could barely hear her as he stared down at her, feeling a strange mixture of anger and shock, but he got the idea. He wondered if she realized she was still crying.
"Does it hurt?! You punched me in my fucking ear!"
"Good! Now you know how I feel!" The backs of her hands and her palms attacked the tears flowing down her cheeks as she spoke, wiping them away harshly. She refused to shed anymore of them at his expense. "So, I was just some sort of joke to you? Is that it? You thought it’d be fun to see how a good girl fucks, right?"
Flynn was looking at her as if she had grown a second head.
Gia was certain she looked more than a little crazed, and the expression on his face did very little to quell her anger. How could he possibly look so confused? How could he not understand how much pain he continued to cause, even when everything was done?
"Well, how was it?” she asked, smiling even as her lip trembled and more tears threatened to spill over. “Was it everything you imagined? Oh, that's right, you didn't really imagine anything. It was all just some random thing to pass the time—"
"You can be mad if you want to," Flynn said, dropping his hand from his throbbing ear, "but don't twist my words around. I said the way this all got started was random, and it was. But... that doesn't mean that I... shit... I didn't expect..."
He didn't really know what he was going to say next. Or why he was so angry looking at her smirking face, and the way she crossed her arms over her chest. Was she even listening, or was she just waiting for him to say something stupid? Was there any way he could say something that wouldn't make things worse?
"Well come on, Flynn. Spit it out!"
"I didn't expect to want you as much as I do," he said hurriedly. His jaw was set and his voice was steady, but his hands had the faintest tremor running through them. He balled them up, willing them not to shake.
Gia blinked once, then again. "Is that really all you have to say?” she said incredulously. “You didn't expect to want me? What, you just expected to humiliate me? What the hell are you smoking?"
He shook his head, suppressing an angry smile. "What do you want me to say? You want me to say that I love going around fucking over unsuspecting girls? I don't need to go through this shit to get laid, Gia. I can do that with my eyes closed."
She turned on her heels and started her stomp again. Even in confessional mode, he was still so conceited. The last thing she needed to be reminded of was how easy it was for him to get what he wanted from her, or any other girl he chose for that matter. It was already clear to her that in his eyes she was just one of many, some expendable piece of ass that he was done with. She wished she could say the same thing about him, maybe then she’d be able to get some sleep at night. Maybe she’d stop thinking about him, aching for him. And maybe it wouldn’t be so hard to breathe when she realized he didn’t feel the same way.
He let her take maybe three steps before he made his move. This time, Flynn wasn't going to let her get away. He reached out and wrapped her in a bear hug before she could turn and slug him again, which he was more than certain she was going to do. With no shortage of effort, he dragged her back to his car and pushed her firmly against it.
The car shook slightly under her weight when her back connected with the smooth metal. For a moment she looked as if she were going to struggle or try to push away his arms, which were bracketing her body while he leaned his hands against his car. When he shook his head and stared solidly into her eyes, he knew she understood his meaning. She could fight him if she wanted to, but he had no intention of letting her go until he was ready. He was far from finished with her and he was going to make sure she heard him out.
"You wanted answers, now you can stand here and listen to them,” he said. “You said you know what you're accountable for. Well, prove it—and admit that from day one, you treated me like I was something that got stuck on the bottom of your shoe. And, then, tell me why I would I expect to want someone who thought so little of me?"
Gia shook her head, opening her mouth to protest.
"Don't even think about denying that one. You and I both know you thought I was shit, and you did everything you could to let me know it."
"And you did your very best to prove me right, didn't you?” Gia countered. “I hope you said what you wanted to say, 'cause I'm done listening to this. Move," she said, pushing against his chest, but he was like a fixture planted in the ground, and he wouldn't budge.
"So, what? You get to hit me and say your piece, and that's it?"
"I don't owe you a fucking thing!"
"I never said you did! Fuck, Gia, do you think I don't know what I did was wrong?" he shouted.
She was shocked, but she didn't know why. Was it the boom in his voice or the anger in his usually cool eyes? Was it the fact he was actually shaking? She watched him bite his lip and look away from her. He was shaking his head, as if he wanted to hit something and he was holding in a primal scream, his body vibrating just inches away from hers with tension. Finally, the tremors started to pass, but he still couldn't look at her.
"I know I deserve a lot worse than what I got," he said after a long moment. He looked in pain as he said it, as if admitting fault had some sort of physical ramifications.
She would have laughed at the effort he was making if she weren't paralyzed.
"But, I'm not the only one who was wrong,” Flynn continued. “You need to take some responsibility for this, too."
That statement pulled her right out of her shock and back into her rage. "What do you want, Flynn?” she hissed. “Do you want an apology? Do you want me to kiss it all better?"
She said it with bitterness, but that didn't stop his body from trembling with the need to make her words more than just a sarcastic dig at him. He looked down at her face, marveling at how beautiful her features were, even when they were twisted in anger.
"I want to do a whole lot more than kiss you, Gia,” he whispered. “If you just ask me to..."
Just like that, she was back to speechlessness. He was so close, and those slanted green eyes of his were intense as they stared
into hers .
"I told you the truth,” he continued quietly. “It may not have been pretty and I may have made some mistakes, but I didn't lie to you the way Luca did. Now I'm asking you not to lie to me."
He leaned into her, and Gia’s breath caught in her chest. His shirt brushed against her breasts as he bent his arms and came in closer.
"Tell me you want me," he whispered, his lips mere inches from hers. "Let me show you how much I want you."
He was so confident he was right—and why shouldn't he be? She did want him. Flynn was so close she could inhale his breath, could almost taste his kiss. She remembered the last time his lips had touched hers; he had tasted so good, every last bit of him. It had hurt so much when he pulled away from her, out of her. He had hurt her so much, and she forced herself to remember this. It made her turn her head away just before he kissed her.
That was all the answer he needed. Though his hands were literally gripping the metal of his hood against the desire to run his hands over her body, to taste the sweetness of her mouth again, Flynn pulled back and pushed away from her. He’d promised he wouldn't touch her. He’d already technically broken his word, and he wasn't going to make things worse.
Then a thought occurred to him that made him shudder with anger, and something he could only describe as sadness: maybe she didn't want him as much as he thought.
"I'll take you home," he said. His voice was stone as he opened the driver’s side door and got in. He watched through the rear view mirror as Gia walked around to the passenger side. She got in hesitantly.
What Flynn wanted now, more than anything, was to get the hell away from her. He turned the ignition as fast as he could and was starting to put the car in reverse when Gia turned his face to hers, pressing her lips to his as if she were diving feet first into the ocean.
Her fingers stroked the sides of his face, running back to tangle in his hair. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Gia was begging him to reach out and hold her. Her lips on his, her tongue probing his mouth with such urgency, echoed her silent plea.