by Kaia Bennett
She shook her head and sighed. “How could they not care? You know, I wasn’t even allowed to wear nail polish until I was sixteen. Meanwhile, you were off getting all inked u—what are laughing…oh c’mon, that’s not funny!”
Flynn couldn’t help it; his body was shaking as he chuckled.
“Seriously? No nail polish? What are you, Amish?”
“Shut up, asshole!” Gia said, biting her lip against her own laughter. “I’m the only girl in my family, and I’m the baby. You’re lucky I’m even at college right now—I should be in an ivory tower somewhere.”
“You really are the epitome of a good girl, aren’t you?”
She shrugged, conceding to this fact, and went back to her ice cream.
“How many brothers do you have anyway?” he asked.
“Three. Marcus is thirty two, Calvin is twenty seven, and James is twenty five.”
“They’re the ones in that picture in your room right?”
She nodded.
“Three brothers, huh? I guess that explains your violent streak.”
She gave him an expression of mock surprise. “Me? Violent? Never!”
He wrapped his arm around her neck and gave her a little shake. “I still have a hard time hearing out of my left ear because of you.”
She laughed and gave his forearm a little bite before he loosened his grip. “What if I said I was sorry, and promised to never do it again?”
“Wow. I really am in an abusive relationship,” he said with a grin that turned into a laugh for the both of them.
Gia looked up, the wind sweeping her hair softly into her eyes. Her smile was wide, eyes sparkling in the midday sun, and Flynn found it astounding how easy it was for her, how she didn’t even have to try to make his heart start racing.
He wondered if she could see how much he wanted her, if she could see through him, and into him, and know he was sinking faster than he could’ve ever thought possible. A part of him wanted her to see. It was whispering louder and louder in the back of his mind, making his chest tighten whenever she was near, making him ache whenever she wasn’t.
But another part of him hadn’t come to terms with these emotions yet. He had to distract himself, take his mind away from the tendrils of new feelings and doubt swirling around inside of him. He turned his attention to her mouth and watched her swipe demurely at her ice cream instead.
“Is that good?” he asked.
“Mm-hmm.”
“Can I have some?”
She nodded and held it up to him, her heart racing in anticipation at watching his mouth cover her ice cream.
He grabbed her hand, moving it gently aside while he leaned in and kissed her mouth. He licked and sucked her tongue, tasting her signature flavor and the flavor of strawberries. He kissed her until she was moaning into his mouth. He hadn’t been able to help himself; he could never just kiss her and let that be it. He had to claim her mouth until she was silently begging him for more. He pulled away gently, trying to keep their public display of affection PG-13. Well, for them anyway.
“It is good,” Flynn said, licking her off his lips.
His breath was painfully shallow when her lips spread into a seductive smile. She pressed herself closer to him, taking a long lick of her ice cream.
“You should take me home now,” she whispered.
***
“Okay, try it again!” Flynn yelled from the other side of the raised car hood.
Gia didn’t think things could get any worse. Earlier in the day her car had broken down, and funds were too low for her to get it checked out. Luckily, Flynn was savvy with cars, and he offered to fix it when he got off from work.
She sat with the driver’s side door open, her legs dangling out of it while she turned the ignition. The car started, revved, then sputtered and died again just as quickly. She winced preemptively, wondering which expletive it would be this time.
“Motherfucker!”
Flynn stared down at her engine with exasperation. He’d tried replacing the least expensive parts first, hoping the problem was small. But changing the cap and rotor hadn’t worked. Neither had the new spark plugs, nor charging the battery. He closed the hood and came around the side of the car to lean against it.
“I think it might be your fuel pump that’s all fucked up,” he said with a sigh. “Do you know what that means?”
“Yeah, I know what a fuel pump issue means,” she said, slamming her door closed and coming to stand next to him. “House full of men, remember?”
What it meant was that someone was going to have to get under her car, drain all of the gas out of the tank she had just filled up, and replace the fuel pump. She could already hear the cash register ka-chinging in her head.
“Look, don’t worry about it,” he said after a moment, pulling a cigarette from behind his ear and lighting up. “I’ll see if I can fix it myself. Worst comes to worst, we can see if Bobby has room in his schedule and take it to him.”
He exhaled and rubbed his forehead, thinking.
“Matter of fact, we should probably ask him first, ‘cause it would be better if we got it on a lift. I don’t want to be on the ground trying to change this thing if I don’t have to.”
She tried to protest. He’d barely let her pay for the new parts he had put in her car, and he was insistent that she let him help. He’d even offered to give her a ride whenever she needed it until her car got fixed. He was adamant, and she knew that arguing with him would be pointless.
“You’re the best, you know that?” Gia said.
She stood up on her toes, pressing her mouth to his to show just how thankful she was. Her tongue parted his lips and slid in for a soft, loving kiss. She loved the way he moaned softly, the way she could taste the sharp, smoky tang of cigarettes and the sweetness of his mouth beneath it.
She smiled as she pulled away, placing another peck on his lips before looking into his eyes again and saying, “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” He smiled warmly, looking almost surprised at her gratitude, and stroked his fingers through her hair.
“Where did you learn all this stuff anyway?” Her rudimentary knowledge of cars had been forced on her, but he seemed much more seasoned.
“I used to help my Uncle Ray when he was working on cars in his shop.”
This was the first time she’d ever heard any specific knowledge about his family, or his childhood. She couldn’t help but catch the clipped tone.
“Were you guys close?”
He shrugged. “Used to be before he got remarried and moved. He was my mom’s brother. She left when I was four, so he felt like he had to take care of me. For the most part he did. He kept me fed and out of trouble when my dad wasn’t around.”
“Your dad was busy a lot?” she asked. Her brow furrowed when he snorted bitterly.
“Yeah, busy being a drunk,” he said flatly, smirking around his cigarette. “Old Man Flynn wasn’t the nicest of guys,” he explained, taking a drag off his cigarette and exhaling smoke through his nose. His bitter tone was laced with understanding when he said, “I don’t think he planned on being a single parent.”
She paused for a moment, not sure where to look or what to say. Finally, she couldn’t resist probing deeper.
“Do you keep in touch with him?”
Flynn shook his head as he stared out into the parking lot.
“Not really. I moved out when I was sixteen. Besides, there’s not really much to talk about. It’d be like, ‘Hey, Pops how ya been?’” he said in an exaggeratedly cheerful voice, pantomiming using a phone. “’Remember when you were never around, and how when you were, you used to beat the shit out of me?’” He lowered his voice and gave it a gravelly tone as he replied, “‘I sure do, sport! Those were good times.’”
Laughing, he shook his head again.
“He called me at the beginning of this year, and it was just about that awkward. So, if and when he calls I’ll talk, but I don’t go out of my w
ay to contact him.”
“What about any brothers or sisters?” she asked quietly.
He inhaled deeply and paused for a moment, as if remembering. “I’ve got an older half-sister named Hannah who I’ve met a couple of times. He got her mom pregnant and then bounced, so she came looking for him. I guess she didn’t like what she found cause I haven’t seen her since I was…I want to say twelve, maybe thirteen.”
“Jesus.”
Gia couldn’t imagine growing up practically alone, with a parent who beat and ignored you. There were times when she thought she hated her parents; but that was because they’d always expected so much of her, pushed her towards excellence relentlessly, and sheltered her too much.
Still, she couldn’t imagine not being close to your family, not talking to them or asking them for advice. She couldn’t imagine having to rely on herself at such a young age. The idea was so foreign that it made her wonder if there weren’t some way things would mend between Flynn and his father.
“Well at least your dad tried talking to you, right? He must be proud to know you’re doing so well for yourself.”
He shrugged and dropped his cigarette, stubbing it out under his shoe.
“Yeah, that’s what he said, but it’s a little late for encouragement now. All I’ve got is a few summer classes to go and then I’m done.”
Gia turned her head towards him so fast she actually strained her neck. She winced as it cracked, but that didn’t halt her thoughts. Her head was spinning. She was well aware that Flynn was a little older than her, but for some reason the knowledge had never translated into him graduating before her. Up until recently, it hadn’t really mattered. They were never supposed to be standing here having this conversation, because they were never supposed to be together in the first place. Now she was standing next to him, trying to swallow down the melancholy stopping up her throat.
“Do you…do you have summer classes all summer, or just for the first half?”
Flynn could feel Gia’s eyes on the side of his face. His body tensed, realization flooding to the surface. She was wondering how long he would be at school, wondering how long he would be around. Why hadn’t it even occurred to him until now to think about the future? The answer was simple: he’d been so caught up in being with her that he hadn’t really stopped to think. He folded his arms and crossed his ankles, looking at the toe of his shoe.
“I need nine more credits and then I’m done. In the meantime, I’m looking for a production assistant job. That’s the best place to start if you want to get into filmmaking,” he said.
He looked at her, trying to gauge her reaction.
When she didn’t speak he asked, “So what about you? What’s your plan?”
“I still have another year to go,” she said absently, staring off into the parking lot, “and then grad school. I want to teach history at a college level.”
Flynn nodded. “You’d be good at it.”
“How do you know that?” she asked, wincing internally at the snippy edge in her voice.
“During our presentation I watched you. You managed not to bore the shit out of the class, and it was just obvious you have a knack for that kind of thing. Must be the positive side of being a control freak.”
She smiled in spite of herself. And then she forced herself to stop smiling. She didn’t feel like being happy or giddy right now. They talked for a little while longer, leaping right over the topic of their separate paths until she couldn’t take it anymore. She was tired of ignoring what was bothering her most, so she opted out of going home with him, claiming she had some studying to catch up on.
She could barely bring herself to kiss him goodbye, though she did manage to thank him again for helping with her car and getting Bobby to take a look at. She felt so guilty about needing to be away from him, especially after he came straight from work to help her. If Flynn noticed her suddenly foul mood, he didn’t say so.
She climbed the steps to her apartment, knowing that studying and assignments were waiting for her when she got there. That hadn’t seemed like such a big deal a little while ago. It was being alone with her own dismal thoughts that she dreaded. She breathed an angry sigh as she reached her door, leaning her head against it for a moment.
She needed to get a hold of herself. She was a smart girl; she knew that two separate people meant two separate lives and two separate paths. Why was she so upset? They weren’t getting married for fuck’s sake, they were just dating exclusively.
She couldn’t help it. She felt herself getting angry and upset in spite of her efforts to be rational. She closed her eyes and swallowed hard. For once her heart and her mind were speaking the same language. She couldn’t kid herself because she knew she was upset for a very important reason. The man she was falling in love with was going to be leaving soon.
And when he did, there was no doubt in her mind that she would be left behind.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Flynn leaned against the bar watching Gia dance with Cherise and Kate. It was Thursday night, and at Gia’s suggestion, he was at a club with a group that included Bobby, his girlfriend Cherise, Kate, the increasingly whipped Max, Rosie of the Evil-Eye tribe, and her chill boyfriend Mike.
He should be having a good time, but he was too bitter for that. It had been less than a week since he talked to Gia about his plans for the future. He didn’t know if it was serendipitous or ironic that he got a call the day before in regards to that very topic. There was a possible job offer waiting for him in Los Angeles. Nothing was set in stone, but he still had to tell her there was a pretty good chance he would be all the way on the other side of the country come August.
“Wow,” she’d said. The word had never sounded more lackluster.
They were been in bed with her lying on her stomach. The sheets were draped over her hips and she was sitting up on her elbows, giving just the profile of those caramel breasts peaking out from under her soft arms. He’d stroked the soft skin of her arm absently with the backs of his fingers, subconsciously trying to soothe away the rough edges of his good news. Her legs, which had been kicking back and forth moments before, had wilted and flopped onto the bed.
“That’s…I mean, that’s amazing. When do you find out if you got it?”
“Soon. End of the week at the latest,” he’d said, covering his eyes with an arm. “I’m pretty sure it’s in the bag. Producers can never have too many errand boys to get their lattes, you know what I mean?”
She didn’t say anything for a long moment. She just stared at the headboard, processing yet another confirmation that their time together was limited.
“I’m sure you got it. But even if you didn’t, when you’re done you still want to work in California, right?” She glanced at him, waiting for the answer she already knew.
He’d been biting at the inside of his cheek when he nodded and said, “Yeah. That’s what I’ve wanted for as long as I can remember.”
She’d swallowed, the silence weighing heavily on her shoulders. She lay against his chest, closing her eyes against the feeling of his arm automatically wrapping around her shoulders.
Finally she’d said in a voice full of forced enthusiasm. “Then I’m happy for you.”
Here, under the flash of lights and the pulse of music, she certainly looked happy. She looked great too, in a lavender halter, dark jeans and open toe stilettos. He watched her laughing and swaying to the music while he took a swig of his beer.
He knew better.
Every time she looked up at him while they danced together; every time she spotted him watching her from across the room and gave him a smile, he could see everything she was truly feeling. It was all there in her eyes and she couldn’t hide it, not from him.
Shit had gotten complicated in record speed. How had this happened? How had he gotten saddled with long term commitment issues with a girl he hadn’t even planned on dating?
“You are so sprung, dude,” Bobby said around his cigarette.
He laughed when Flynn pulled himself out of his thoughts and asked him what he said.
“Sprung. You. Over Gia,” Bobby repeated, pointing to Flynn and then his girl.
Flynn sighed and swigged his beer, turning to lean his elbows on the bar. “That obvious, huh?”
“To me, but that’s ‘cause I know you, man.”
Bobby turned to lean against the bar as well, taking in the sight of his friend trying to drink away a foul mood.
“You need to stop moping like a little bitch and go hang out with your woman. And, more important, you need to stop killing my buzz.”
Flynn laughed, but when he remained silent and unmoving Bobby watched him more closely.
“What’s your problem, man? I thought everything was going great for you right now,” Bobby asked.
Then he added cryptically, “Or is that the problem?”
Flynn sighed again, letting his shoulders drop as he rolled his eyes. He loved Bobby, but sometimes he wished he could just once pretend to be dim and leave him the fuck alone. He didn’t feel like talking about the direction things had been going with Gia. He just wanted to get drunk and let this day end in peace.
“You really like her don’t you?”
“Yeah, I do,” he said without hesitation.
“Well, it’s obvious she feels the same way,” his friend said. He paused and then asked, “How’s she taking the good news?”
“She says she’s happy for me,” Flynn said, “But she’s starting to keep her distance, like she’s getting ready for me to go, or something.”
Bobby nodded, scratching at the dark, weeks old stubble on his neck. “How serious are you guys exactly?”
Flynn took another long swig. He was going to need another beer very soon, because he was still in a shitty mood. It was the same question he’d been asking himself for the past week, and he hadn’t been able to come up with an answer. And he damn sure wasn’t going to be able to answer just because Bobby was asking.
“You starting to fall for her, man?”
“Don’t start flinging the ‘L word’ around, okay?”